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what should i do about my obsessive boyfriend?
i am 20 years old an di have been with my boyfriend for a year and six months. we were together for only three months when he proposed to me and i accepted. i love him a lot but theres soomething in my mind thats saying hes not the one for me. i have no friends because he says their no good for me. i called my ex-boyfriend in november because i had no one to talk to because my fiance was on vacation. i slit my wrists and everything. now i can't even go to work because he accuses me of cheating on him. please give me advice on what i should do?
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im younger than you but i think if you dont think hes the one dont het yourselfer deeper into the situation and cant get out tell him how you feel before it's too late. dont slit your wrist it's an eaiser way to handle any situation
Jazzy**
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Yeah, Younggrandma's right. Get out now. Three months and he proposed? Sounds like he's desperate - not for a wife and a loving relationship - for someone to control, and you're it.
You're letting him do it, too.
I mean, I can understand saying "I love you" in a month, but proposing in three? At least you realize it was too soon. I know couples that have been together for three years and aren't engaged.
If there's ANY doubt in your mind EVER that he's "not the one for you," then he's not the one for you. That little voice in the back of all our minds is right more often than we'd like to admit. The subconscious is a very perceptive part of our minds, and we don't give it nearly enough credit.
This guy sounds more abusive than anything, and what you have going on here doesn't sound like love to me.
It sounds like the beginning of an abusive relationship, not a loving one. In a relationship you're supposed to be able to hang out with your friends and his friends together, and you're supposed to be happy, not slitting your wrists.
Think carefully about this - were you happier without him in your life? Were you less stressed out?
(I believe the answer to those is "yes")
Or are you happier now, when you're being alienated from your friends, and untrusted by the one person who is supposed to trust you?
It's admirable that you want advice. Now all you have to do is take it.
Easier said than done, I'm sure, but please take what we're telling you to heart.
Get out now.
Good luck
-Siren =)
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I have to agree with younggrandma here. I would end this relationship now before you get in any deeper.
When I was younger, I was in a relationship much like you described. He didn't like my friends so I quit hanging out with them. He didn't like my family so he demanded I not see them either. He wouldn't let me work because he thought I'd find someone else. He wouldn't even let me go grocery shopping alone. I couldn't leave the house unless it was with someone he approved of (his family or friends). When he went to work, he took my car keys so I was unable to leave. He wouldn't even let me have a phone in the house because he didn't want me talking to anyone. By the end of the relationship, I was literally a prisoner.
When I finally reached the point where I couldn't take anymore, I waited until he was gone to work and walked 5 miles to my parents house. Because I'd let things get so out of hand, I ended up having to rebuild my relationships with my family and friends. It also took a long time before I trusted any guy again.
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You get out.
Just because you said you would marry him doesn't mean you have to. He has all the signs of someone who is abusive, not obsessive.
One of the first things they do is alienate you from friends and family. I'm serious, don't wait around for him to take a swing at you. :)
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