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Qi have like all these papers that i kinda get bad grades on what should i do
ACould you post some examples of comments your teachers give you? Knowing that you're getting bad grades doesn't give me enough information to help you figure out what you need to change. I'll edit this when I have sufficient information. :)
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QOk, I'm 14/f
And there is this guy at my church. He is soo funny and he's a really good Christian, which is very important for me, and he has an awesome personality and is very fun to be around. The only problem is, he is really small. He is like 1/2 a foot shorter than me and weighs about 30 lbs less. Beside all this, I really like him a lot because of the inside, which is really what counts, but I'm afraid of what my friends would say if we dated. Because well, I've been known for going for the good-looking guys. So what should I do?
ADo you really want to let your friends dictate your relationships? If you really like him, despite what your friends say, go for it -- when they tease you, tell them you're high enough on the dating food-chain to go for someone who isn't stereotypical!
"I can be so choosey, I can even choose someone you don't approve of and not worry about my dating status. Hah hah. Keep up your posturing, mere mortals!!" (I don't read too many comics, honest. o.0 )
Seriously, it's a sign of social power when you can deviate from the norm without worrying. So don't worry. Boys hit their growth spurts later than girls, anyway, so it's likely he'll sprout like a bean-pole in the next few years, and you can give your friends a really satisfied, smug look to squash their silly vindictiveness. ^_^
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QOkay I asked a question before about the pill and I was wondering something else....If I do decide to have sex w/out a condom, and get pregnant say five months later....if I keep taking the pill, will it kill the fetus before it gets into the really late stages of pregnancy? If anyone knows any websites with that information, i'd appreciate it a lot...i've searched and can't find anything....Thanks
Female, 16
AThe pill is designed as a preventative measure, not as a form of abortion. AFAIK, such use can be very dangerous, causing an uncontrolled natural "abortion" called miscarriage. Women experiencing miscarriage have to be rushed to the hospital to prevent them dying along with the infant!
Similar makeshift abortions using over-the-counter, perscription, or illegal drugs, or something like a coathanger or throwing yourself down the stairs, are also not recommended.
If you're worried about the reliability of the pill, ask your doctor about various "double dutch" methods; see about getting on the Depo Provera shot, which is more reliable mainly due to the fact that it lasts for 3 months and you don't have to take it daily. Ask about getting a diaphragm, spermicidal gel, foam, anything -- these, coupled with hormonal pills or shots, will double your protection against pregnancy without use of a condom.
And ask your doctor about actual controlled abortions. Find out if, in your area, you need parental permission to get one if necessary. Ask your doctor if and how the morning-after pill could be included in your safe-sex regimen.
Just don't do anything not recommended by your doctor; not only could it endanger your own life, but it could cause you an even more difficult time explaining to your loved ones from your hospital bed!
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Qokay, so there is this kid i like fell in love with and we told eachotehr who we like and he likes me back and he knows i like him too. well that was over the summer and then when we got to school we talked and shit but we arnt as tight as the year before (WICKED TIGHT) lol and so now hes pretty shy when it comes to me and looks at me alot and i like know he likes me and evrything but he wont ask me out im so tired of waiting its been wicked long and hes had so many chances to and idontknow why he hasnt hes had a gf before so its not like hes not allowed to date or anything, so then there is ths otehr kid that i like a lot too that i just started liking him and hes much more comfortable to be around now and he flirts with me alot and oh my hes just so hot and sweet and so i dont know what to do i think im falling out of love with the first guy but its just cuz we aint talking that much anymore...im not sure if you can really help me but if you could try that we be so nice! thank ytou and sorry this was so long
AIt's not the length you should be apologising for, it's the lack of punctuation. ;) No, really, I'm teasing ya, I don't need any apologies.
It sounds like you want something solid to build on, and you're not sure if the first boy is worth the effort of persuing, even though he is your "first choice": you don't feel that his companionship is guaranteed, whereas the other boy is pretty much a sure-shot.
What you're wrestling between is not so much the boys, itself -- it's your own standards of preference vs. ease. Would you rather have the best or the easiest? If you find that one boy manages to hold both of these, you have no disparity. So if that were the case, I doubt you'd be seeking advice! ;)
But also -- and this is a big secret, like unlisted tracks on some CD's, and secret paths in video games -- you don't actually have to choose. There's a third option that many people don't consider.
In the 1950's, people used to date around for a while before "going steady," exchanging school pins or something, and being exclusive. These days, we have a term for respectful, honest non-monogamy: when you're able to maintain more than one romantic relationship at a time, AND everyone involved knows, AND everyone involved is fine with it, we like to call the relationship style "polyamory."
Before you take such a step, you should look up what poly is all about, and decide for yourself if it's right for you. To start, I'll give you links to a few of my own favourite resources to read through. I in no way want to convert or pressure you -- poly isn't for everyone, the same way certain religions, foods, and favourite colours aren't for everyone.
But I like it when people know all their options!
My favourite Poly FAQ: http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html
A practical site by a poly family: http://www.ourlittlequad.com
And, inevitably, my own experience:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cryptess/42122.html
Good luck, babes. I know you'll settle with whatever is right for you. :)
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QI met a great guy. He is so sweet and made me smile everytime he said something...but there is always a catch isn't there!! A few days later he told me he liked this girl as if he had NO CLUE I liked him..sooo..what's the deal here? Should I just lay off and not talk to him now that he is with this girl?
AThis just begs the question whether you consider him worth more than your own romantic expectations: if you really like him as a person, I bet you can be good friends anyway.
If you think he's worth the effort, put your romantic feelings on the back burner for a while, and treat him like a really cool brother. See if you can meet his girl and try to get along with her.
If you can do this without feeling left out and resentful, and without being a threat to the other girl, chances are you'll gain so much respect and trust from him that when he frees up later, you'll be the first person he wants to talk to.
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QHi my name is jess and theres this boy in my school that new i got to know him good and he started to like me than i think we went out now hes saying that his dad says he's to young to go out wit anyone is he saying that for a eccuses or do u think its true.
ps can you tell me what i could do to go out with him
AWhether it's true or not, it basically means the same thing: you guys need to slow down a bit, establish the trust of one-another and your parents, and get used to hanging out with somebody who's basically a friend you can hold hands with.
Maybe you should ask him if HE feels ready to have a girlfriend; if not, offer to be a friend who's also a girl, who might flirt sometimes but it'll all be in fun.
Find out if his parents -- and your own, for that matter -- would feel better if you always hung out in chaperoned circumstances, such as his living room or at the movies with your parents sitting a couple rows back.
And mainly ... don't worry. As long as you've got parents to object to your romances, you have plenty of time to just goof around. I doubt anyone would object to that! :)
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QOk, well heres the thing...I still like my boy friend, I think...see I am not sure if I like him...or I just liked making out with him...lol I know it sounds childish but when I am in his arms I feel safe, and it feels like nothing in the world matters anymore...I dont know what to do because we dated for 3 days and then broke up for about a week and then we dated for another 4 days and then broke up and it has almost been a week, both of the times we broke up it was because he was flirting with another girl and had told his best friend that he liked her more then me, and his best friend proved it to me both times...I dono what to do...i want him back, I think...PLease help me I dont know what to do...I feel so good when I am in his arms and when we are kissing but I dont know if i just like the fact of feeling that way, or feeling that way "WITH HIM"....if you know please tell me!!! I need to figure this out because it is driving me crazy!!
AYou both deserve a relationship in which you feel content with one another. It's not really healthy to settle or to be settled for: he should have something he doesn't consider second rate, and you shouldn't hang out where you're being treated second rate.
Basically, what I'm saying is that IF he is discontent with you, continuing the relationship is unfair to you both. But let's not jump to conclusions here; that "IF" is all caps for a reason. ;)
In any relationship, whether it's playful or serious, you need to communicate with your partner. Ask this boy if he really is more into this other girl, if he wants to be freed up to persue her; this not only would allow him to do so, but it'd let you find someone who can treat you as the top-rate girl you actually are.
However, he might just be a natural flirt & not realise that he's crossing your boundaries. If he gives you a lost puppy look when you ask if he likes her better, this is likely the case. And if it's in his nature to flirt, you need to think about whether you're comfortable with that, because internal nature might be very difficult for him to change. I think the decision is down to you.
How do YOU feel about him flirting with other girls? Are you willing to keep the relationship in-tact if you know that it will never go beyond that? And are you content to be his second choice forever, if that's the case?
It takes a lot of courage to act on these convictions and apply a healthy amount of self-respect, but I know you can do it. On top of it all, communicate! It's the only way you'll really know what's going on. ;)
[Added edit] I'm really glad this helped! Feel free to add me; I'll keep an eye out for your questions in the future, too. :)
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Qwell I'm 14 and I just had a baby and I don't know what I should do like should I keep braist feeding or sumthing I'm so confused I'm only going in 9th grade and it's really hard for me to take care of my baby when my parents aren't around I love my little girl so much her names Zoé but the father doesn't love her or want anything to do with her what should I do I need help??
AOh, if I could hug you right now, I would.
It's wonderful that you love your baby girl so much, and because of that, I'm sure that you'll come to your own right decision.
For now, though, check out some information on child health and care. You might want to consider buying a good breast pump -- that way your baby can have breast milk even when you can't be available to breastfeed!
Try to set up a whole circle of support for your baby; even if her dad is being ... difficult, her grandparents on his side -- as well as your own parents -- will probably be willing to help you. Get support from other family, close friends-of-family, etc.
Look up teen parenting benefits, like child-care, training, etc.
Giving your baby up should be a last resort, and if at all possible, you could aim to give her to someone in the family -- that way you could still have contact and know how she's doing.
Whatever you do, think about Zoe's well being the most, because she depends on you to make sure she gets the best she can. Again, you care about your baby, and that's wonderful; just make sure to apply that love and devotion to your actions, and everything will work out. :)
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QOK here's the deal. I smoke cigarettes .. yes I know all the bad stuff about it already and I know I shouldn't do it, blah blah blah. My best friend doesn't know tho. Shes my best friend in the entire world and I hate keeping this from her. A couple of people who she doesnt like know I smoke. She doesnt even know i talk to them. I hate keeping it from her. I dont want to quit. She thinks smoking is really stupid. How can I tell her about it ?
AIt sounds like you're "coming out" to her as a smoker. ;)
Honestly, I don't think it's really necessary, since it doesn't effect her rights, responsibilities, or decisions in any way.
Just start being honest about what you're doing -- quite simply, by not hiding it. Listen to her input and respect her feelings -- she's likely to be concerned about your health, but as long as you show some understanding and consideration for that concern, it should turn out fine.
All you have to do is be honest and do whatever you can to show compassion for her feelings. You don't have to bend over backwards, change, or justify yourself; just treat her with consideration.
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QMy semi formal is the same night as my Dad's dinner for winning employee of the year. I didnt go to my semi formal last year and a boy that I really like might ask me to the semi.. What do you guys think I should do? ( They're at the same times too!!)
ATalk to your dad about it; explain what's important to you about both, tell him you're feeling a bit conflicted, and ask for some real honest advice.
It's likely you two can come to some sort of compromise -- if you don't go to your dad's dinner, you can arrange to spend a one-on-one later, or do a family celebration, which IMO would be a lot warmer and more enjoyable.
Otherwise, if you don't go to your semi formal, you could make a statement to your schoolmates that you're waiting for the full formal / prom / whatever, and that you don't have patience for anything second rate. ;)
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QHi well see I met this guy from Paris, France, well he is sweet and everything , but my boyfriend dosnt like him , he said if I talked to him that he would break up with me , what do I do?Plz
help
ALet your friend from France know that you have personal issues to deal with temporarily, and then try to find out what your boy is feeling that makes him want you to cut off communication.
Maybe he thinks that French guys are so alluring, and that you're so godawful hot, that neither of you will be able to resist one another. ;) It CAN be a form of flattery.
Ask him to exactly define his concerns about your friendship with this other boy. Does he think you'll be seduced and leave him? Does he think he'll inevitably get hurt if you keep talking to other guys?
Listen to his answers and be considerate; but don't drop your own ideals in the process. If you're unlucky enough to have been stuck with a true control-freak, you need to end the relationship.
But since the other guy-friend is sweet, male, and most of all, French, I think your boy is probably just feeling insecure.
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Q[Sorry about the lengh, but I need some advice=)}About a year and a half ago, I met a guy who changed my life. When one of my best friends introduced us, I didn't really think anything of it. We hardly ever saw eachother, but talked often and had the most deep, intriguing conversations that would last for hours on end. We had a connection, somthing I had never felt before...but there, of course, was a problem...He lived an hour away. We were 14 at the time, and, me , being an only child, continued to be extremley protected by my parents when it came to dating. I saw him literally once every 6 months, and it would always be someplace public, with each one of our friends involved. A year later, and a year older, my parents agreed to take me out there for a few hours so we could finnaly be together. After that visit, we started seeing eachother more and more often, and our love grew stronger and stronger. My parents started allowing me to spend the night, and I have made so many new, interesting friends. The summer, amazing, every weekend me and him would spend together. Now that school started again, it came to realization that we have different lives, and a lot of things are going to interfere with our relationship. I am in love, and every minute i spend thinking about him...but I'm afraid that our distance, even if it is only an hour away, is going to damage our connecton. I see couples in the hallway at school, around town, and other places, and it makes me so depressed, I never take any time spent with him for granite. Some people really don't know how lucky they are to have such a great person becasue they're always with them. So I guess my question is, how do I keep this relationship strong, despite the fact that I am not around to see his actions. I mean, I trust him, and he trusts me, but all the girls I know from his town love him. He's a ladies man and I am so very jelous. I wish i could do somthing, but he always brings up how far away i am, thats why we held off going steady until the summer....please i really need some intelligent advice.
Thank you for reading this...
AAs a survivor of an extremely long distance relationship (Seattle to Scotland, 8 hours of pure time-zone difference!), I'll give a few hints.
Make sure you have some kind of daily contact -- whether by phone, email, or chat. This will keep your connection "fresh."
Try to get together on the weekends if at all possible. Find out if you can take public transportation to see him. Be honest with your parents, tho -- parents make everything more difficult when they get worried!
Tell him about any crushes you have on others, about crushes you think others have on you, and be open to him doing the same: while this is a scary concept at first, it really helps in the realms of trust. (I can actually giggle over other guys to mine, but that's after years of making sure he knows I'm not going to leave him for them!)
Mainly, just make sure you're in regular contact and that you're both as informed as you would be if you were living closer by. It will take more effort, but it'll be worth it. Using these practices, I've gotten to the point where I'm getting married next month -- no more LDR for me! *grin*
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Qok theres this guy and weve just become friends and lately hes been taking pics of me alla the time sitting with me at lunch hgging around the neck and we both runa nd hes on my team and like he goes around to differnt places to watch me run nd the other night on the way home he sat by me and he was like putting his head on my shoulder what would you think
AI believe he likes you.
This begs the question: do you like him?
If so, tease him in a flirty way about it and watch how he reacts. Smirk at him, look at him through your eyelashes, nudge him, and say "It's so cute how you've got a crush on me."
If not, give him the same one-brow-raised incredulous look Elrond gives the hobbits in Fellowship of the Ring. Try to get across the idea of "... What in the world are you doing?"
Either way, you can figure out what's going on pretty quickly by his reactions.
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Qwell my friend Amanda finch cuts. she cant stop. plz help she wants to kill herslef and i hope she doesnt! help! how do i support her?! i need ideans and QUICK!
AGet her talking to you.
Ask her if she feels listened to, on a scale of 0-10. Find out why she gives the response she gives. Ask her when she feels listened to.
Once you've got that down, you'll know how to approach her to find out what she really needs.
More info at http://www.eqi.org
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QOk im not sure what to do Im still kinda in love with my ex and he still likes me but THe like 4th day of school we were forced to sit my eachother so he talked to me about that he lost his virginity and hes had sex like ALOT we vowed to eachother we were gonna take eachothers virginity but then we broke up now I dont know what to do help????
AFirst off, breathe. ;) This is important because you need to focus on remaining calm and taking care of yourself.
Second, losing your virginity is rarely a very graceful or enjoyable experience, particularly between two virgins: imagine awkward positions, embarrassing body noises, and the fear of getting caught.
It's great when you can share that with someone you feel safe with, but sharing equal levels of experience only does you any real good when you're both advanced in sexual practices.
It sounds to me like you really care about this boy, and want to share a lot more than random squelching with him; due to this, I suggest you tell him that you're still interested, despite feeling a bit disappointed and regretful about not sharing the first experience with him.
Consider that you now have more options than he does; he can't go back and change how his first sexual experience happened, so he may have regrets of his own. You can choose to spend your first time with someone of more experience, and therefore, be less awkward. You can forego concerns about virginity, and simply consider enjoying the experiences you do share.
Or you might choose to wait until you feel right; I highly doubt that your first time will be perfect, but you should at least seek to feel comfortable, safe, and loved. Once you've got that, every time will be as magickal as the last, virginity will cease to matter, and you can think more about enjoying what you do rather than regretting what you don't do. :)
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QI havent had a boyfriend in about a year and a half. My friends and family are always telling me i need to get out there and meet someone. The trouble is i dont really know where it is im supposed to go to meet theses said "guys".
Anyone have any suggestions on where to meet a nice guy?
Thanks :)
ASure; all relationships are completely individual, meaning that if you have a specific expectation of what you're looking for, you're likely to miss out on an even better opportunity.
What you need to look for is basically someone who puts you at ease, and that's best found in the realms of platonic (friendly) relationships -- you'll create these the same way you get girl-friends. Just go where boys will be and stay casual; there's no rush in finding the right person.
Keep an eye out for someone who can make you laugh, cheer you up, give you advice and support. Look for someone you can talk to the way you do with your girl-friends. From there, you can work into a flirting mode.
Then, when friends & family pressure you to find a man, you can give them a sly / secretive smile, and tell them you're "working on it." If they want to know more, tell them about the traits you're out for, and make them play a guessing game: who fits that bill? They might be able to accidentally give you hints! ;)
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