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Keeping secrets

Question Posted Thursday September 16 2004, 10:12 pm

OK here's the deal. I smoke cigarettes .. yes I know all the bad stuff about it already and I know I shouldn't do it, blah blah blah. My best friend doesn't know tho. Shes my best friend in the entire world and I hate keeping this from her. A couple of people who she doesnt like know I smoke. She doesnt even know i talk to them. I hate keeping it from her. I dont want to quit. She thinks smoking is really stupid. How can I tell her about it ?

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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?

liddylflirtx3 answered Saturday September 18 2004, 4:43 pm:
Your friend may already know that you smoke (the smell, etc.). If not, just tell her that you know it isn't good - but you tried it and got addicted and really don't want to stop smoking. Say you know it's stupid - but once you start you can't stop =/

Tell her that you hated keeping it from her and that you're relieved and happy that you told her (since she IS your best friend and all).

I hope I helped you! =)

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Sunshine answered Saturday September 18 2004, 4:50 am:
She probably already knows and she's just waiting for you to be honest with her. Since she's a non-smoker she can smell the cigarettes on you, even if you can't smell it on yourself. So just come clean with her.

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LilMia811 answered Friday September 17 2004, 8:44 pm:
tell your friend about your smoking and new friends, if she has a problem with it, then you can't really get mad at her because she just cares, but let her know that she doesnt have to like everything that you but becasue she is your friend she should accept it.

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FloridaBabe answered Friday September 17 2004, 7:16 pm:
Well you can't really tell her w/out her getting upset or getting a lecture from her, but she is yr best friend in the whole world so if she was yr true friend she should support yr decision. It's yr choice to smoke or not. But she's yr best friend and u shouldn't keep things from her. Just be honest with her, and hope that she is a good enough friend to understand your choice. Good Luck!

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TwistedThoughts answered Friday September 17 2004, 6:57 pm:
Ok! Well sit her down and just casually start talking about them. Then just kinda tell her that you do it and its really hard to stop. If she doesn't want to be your freind just because you smoke...then she isn't that great of a freind afterall!

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bucs10us answered Friday September 17 2004, 1:31 pm:
tell her its ur choice to take 7 minutes away from u life everytime u smoke a cigarette.

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loopdeloop answered Friday September 17 2004, 1:27 pm:
Wait until you have lung cancer. That will get some sympathy from her.

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mysticpixie05 answered Friday September 17 2004, 9:59 am:
just tell her you started and you dont want to quit. if she is a ture friend she wont care about it. just be honest with her.

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xOmAnDaH answered Friday September 17 2004, 9:47 am:
I think you should tell her! whats the point of keeping it from her. tell her you know its stupid and blah blah blah but you dont want to quit..hope i helped..rate me =)


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yumiko answered Friday September 17 2004, 8:01 am:
It sounds like you're "coming out" to her as a smoker. ;)
Honestly, I don't think it's really necessary, since it doesn't effect her rights, responsibilities, or decisions in any way.
Just start being honest about what you're doing -- quite simply, by not hiding it. Listen to her input and respect her feelings -- she's likely to be concerned about your health, but as long as you show some understanding and consideration for that concern, it should turn out fine.
All you have to do is be honest and do whatever you can to show compassion for her feelings. You don't have to bend over backwards, change, or justify yourself; just treat her with consideration.

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MaxwellsSilverHammer answered Friday September 17 2004, 12:42 am:
She's a true friend; if you just tell her she'll respect your decision.

She'll most probably try and get you to quit... don't dismiss her points, that will be as bad as blowing smoke in her face.

She'll accept it, you'll still be friends, all will be well.

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behindxthesexeyes answered Thursday September 16 2004, 11:03 pm:
I know this familiar, aquard feeling you probably have about "whipping one out" right in front of her. It's probably going to make her feel uncomfortable, and possibly even degrated. The best thing you can do is, when you sense an appropriate time, ask her nicely if you could smoke a cigarette, and see how she reacts. she will probably give you a pointless lecture on how they're stupid and horrible and yadda yadda...but you know all the facts and all the harm, therefore, it's strictly your choice. Try explaining that to her, and if she still doesn't understand, just avoid the situation. Most likely, though, the whole issue won't interfere with your overall friendship.

Hope i helped<3

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girdy_goo15 answered Thursday September 16 2004, 10:57 pm:
just tell her that that's wat ur about. and that it won't change. or anything.

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lostandconfused answered Thursday September 16 2004, 10:41 pm:
dude, i smoke too. just pull one out and offer her one, and see what she says...if shes a real friend shes not going to hate you for it.

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MFS answered Thursday September 16 2004, 10:34 pm:
Well, it is stupid, for one, but that's beside the point...

If you feel you need to tell her, then you need to realize that from what you've said, that she's likely not going to be happy about hearing it. If you know in advance that she's going to be disappointed, then you need to deal with the disappointment and realize that nothing you say is going to make her think, "oh, ok - I see your point" because it isn't going to happen.

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