about

.

.

.

.

.

.

Welcome to my advice column. My name is Dawn. First, I assure you I am not like other young people at all. There is nothing about me that is overly special. I have an extreme fear of going back in time, getting stuck there then contracting a disease that's curable now but not curable then, and of being drowned by peacocks. o.0 I have little respect for what hasn't earned it, most of the world is little more than my plaything or a joke to me but what makes it inside my walls is there forever. I was probably tampered with as a child by aliens. Godspeed.


This is an advice column. I have little patients for idiots...


Q: Can I ask you a question?


A: You just did, now I'm all out of answers for today, try again never.


Q: What's the song that goes like this ... ?


A: How is this asking for advice?


Q: I had unprotected sex 23,086,165 times, am I pregnant?


A: Take a damn test and stop being such a whore.


Q: Does he like me?


A: If you have to ask stupid questions like this, to complete strangers who know neither of you, then I highly doubt it. And if he does, then he's an idiot.


Q: Ok, I have to write this essay on (fill in the blank), what should I write?


A: Try growing a brain to think for yourself. You'll never amount to anything if you try to get others to do your homework for you.


Q: Rate this picture, am I ugly?


A: Once again, how is this asking for advice. Stop trying to get self-confirmation through strangers online. You have real self-issues and should probably see a therapist.


Q: Lyk how do u no if u r a lez?


A: You should really learn proper spelling and grammar. It's beyond me how anyone can understand a thing you said.


If you have a serious question, I can be one of the most helpful people you know. I may be only 22, but I have experienced a lot in my life. If I don't know the answer to your delema, I wont pretend to know it and give some random answer that sounded good at the time, I will simply let you know that I don't have the answer, and reffer you to some place that you can find the answer.

advice

I've been trying to figure this out since I've been with my boyfriend for the past 2 months. It's a new relationship but we feel like we've known each other all our lives. He is the greatest guy I've ever met - handsome, funny, smart, sweet, loving, sexy, treats me like queen. But the thing, before we got together, I NEVER would have thought I was his type. I'm a regular girl, take care of myself, care about people, not a hot babe or anything but I'm alright. So anyhow, I feel insecure to be with him because with how hot and great he is, he's bound to find a hot and great girl. Therefore, I find myself very very skeptical about this relationship lasting. I've talked to him and believe me, he reassures me like crazy that he wants to be with me and feels like he can love me forever. He really does have a good head on his shoulders. But what does add to it, is that he has a lot of female friends as well - all are just long time friends, but these girls are great as well, and I feel like he's bound to fall for one of them soon. It's so frustrating to be with such a great guy and not feel like you're the centre of his world (even when he treats you like it). What can I do?

You sound like a brilliant, loving, and kind girl. And you sound like you need some self-confidence as well. Just relax and enjoy the here and now rather than worrying about the fact that he might dump you in the future. If it lasts a forever, great. If it lasts for five months, then you have a brilliant 5 months of romance. There's no sense in going crazy waiting for this guy to dump you, because if that's all you worry about, that's what will eventually happen. Self confidence is sexy and attractive and a lack of self confidence is, well... not. It doesn't matter what these other girls look like... they are his friends, and you are the one he chose as a girlfriend. He probably wouldn't care if you grew a giant zit, and shaved your head, and lost all your teeth... he likes you for you, not your looks. There is some consolation in that, isn't there?

Love,
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for one and a half years. He still has his exgirlfriend's engagement ring in his drawer. When I ask him what he is going to do with it he just tells me he don't know. He says, "what should I do with it?" I am sick of looking at it. She has caused so many problems for us. I just want the ring to be gone. He says he doesn't want to just give it away because it cost too much money. At this point I am ready to throw the piece of metal in the dump. What would you suggest to do with it.

This has nothing to do with the ring. You're feeling hurt and insecure about the past relationship he had with this girl, and your current relationship with him. Fix those problems and the ring wont matter. Or you can tell him to pawn or sell the ring so you guys have a little extra money. Or you can ask him to marry you(and no, in this day and age it's not wrong for a woman to ask).

Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

I am a married man who a few months ago was asked to go to lunch by a female coworker. She's 23 and I am 36 and she has a boyfriend and if it means anything we are both considered very attractive. I initially didn't take her up on her offer, but then agreed after she asked me a few other times. We went to lunch and we talked about work and stuff and she paid. Well this is now a regular occurrence and she now brings up things besides work, like sex with her boyfriend and when and how they do it. She also just recently asked me to go play tennis with her after work. Needless to say, I think we're becoming close friends. I'm just not sure what her intentions are if any. What's even more confusing is that a bunch of us went out to the bar the other night and she didn't even talk to me, spending most of her time talking to another male coworker. I would think that if we were friends she's act normal around me and talk to me in an outside work setting. But it's almost like she was afraid something may happen. I guess my question to you is am I just a victim of different generations? Is it normal for a twenty something female to hang out with a coworker, talk about sex, ask him to do extracurricular activities, and not want to be with him on a more intimate level? I'm thinking I should nip this in the bud before we do something we both will regret.

Clearly, you are attracted to her. She's been playing games with you, so you're asking me to confirm she likes you in order to feel more confident making a move if and when the occasion arises. Right? Don't lie to me - I know I'm right. (I'm not going to help you with that.) Then you go on to ask, feebly, I might add - if you should end things. You have no intention of 'ending' things with her. You're only asking to make yourself feel better about what you secretly hope to eventually be doing, namely her. Good luck cheating on your wife! I hope I've cleared a few things up.

Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

I have a very difficult time meeting new people and making friends. For example no one at work ever invites me to go to lunch. I have asked people to go with me, but I always feel like I'm imposing. How can I meet new people and make new friends?

You sound to me like a shy person. Usually only shy or annoying people have these problems. You just need to work up the nerve to ask them to hang out with you, or to ask if you can join them(even if it does sound imposing). What's the worst that can happen? They'd say no. But more than likely, they'll say,"Sure." and you'll have a fun time making new friends.

Another thing it sounds like you might have a problem with is fear of rejection. It's common, even I have that problem. You could try to work that out with a therapist, or by yourself. Try going to a social gathering that you know absolutly no one at, and find some random people you don't even know to talk to. This is usually really easy in a bar or a club where people tend to drink and would love to talk about themselves to anyone. Once you feel like you've got more courage you can move on to non-drinking functions, and even work.

Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

What I'm dealing with here is an 8-month relationship with a girl 6 years younger than me. I'm 26, she's 20... I treat her with a lot of respect and am always there when she needs me, and she is always there for me, too, up until this point. Prior to what happened, our relationship really seemed 50/50. Her mother, who is in bad health, has decided that I'm "controlling, possessive, insensitive, lacking all social manners" and has told this girl that if she ever thinks about marrying me, she will not approve, and if she gets pregnant by me, she'll be disowned.
I feel this is totally wrong. My parents would not do this to me, and I am at a loss to understand it. She and I are happy with each other, at least that's what she tells me. She says she loves me "more than you know," but cannot be torn anymore. She says she wants to be friends, and "maybe someday" things can be different. She says she doesn't want her mother to die resenting me, because that would make her resent me. She also says she "cannot function" without her family relationship and needs "space and time."

What's strange is her mother doesn't have a problem (or so she says) with us being friends and going to a movie now and then. I'm totally confused. What are your thoughts on the matter?

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like your lady-friend has made up her mind: her mother over you. I know, it's wrong of her mother to make her choose, but the truth is, she honestly didn't have to choose, but she did. I agree with you that choosing a mate shouldn't be one's family's decision; but have you considered that she may have actually have changed her mind about you?

In any case, when a woman says she needs time and space, then you should give it to her. And plenty of it. So, get on with your life, as hard as it may be, date other women, and leave her alone except for a brief, friendly call every month or two. She's still quite young and may truly need some time to make up her mind about you.

Forget the "movie or two". You want to avoid any limbo status that might crop up between you two(as that will make situations harder for the both of you). And don't spend your time pinning away for her and devising some way to win her back. When she's ready, if she's ready, she'll come back.

Sincerly,
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

I have been involved with a guy for over 2 years. We have a near perfect relationship. He is my best friend and the person I know God sent to me to spend the rest of my life with. My boyfriend says he feels the same way. We recently graduated from college and were lucky enough to have found jobs in the same city. We have been living together for over eight months and especially the last three months, we couldn't be happier. I now find myself constantly thinking about marriage and looking at dresses and engagement rings. Is that normal?
He says that he is ready to marry me but he doesn't want to spend the money it cost to buy me an engagement ring. The ring that I have chosen cost $3000 and he claims that is too much to spend on a ring. I told him that I don't care how much he pays for a ring as long as he puts a lot of thought in the ring he chooses. Lately, he constantly reminds me of the $3000 ring and makes me feel as if it is my fault that engagement rings are so expensive. What should I do or say to him to convince him that I just want a nice ring? Also, what can I do to convince him that this is not a time to be a cheap-skate and that a decent ring will cost over $1000?

It's completely normal to want to marry the man you love and have loved for two years. But you don't have to spend your life's savings to do it.

If he's ready to marry, but not with a $3000 ring, when accept a $500 ring. There are some really nice rings out there that are under $1000. Who says you need an expensive ring? Kay Jewlers? Zales? DeBeers diamonds? Lots of women get married with $200 rings and stay happily married. Maybe they get a more expensive ring for their anniversary, or when they are more financially stable? Or maybe they don't get one? A lifetime of love is worth more than the most expensive ring anyways.

If you want to be get married, stop pining for an expensive ring and keep your eye on the ball. Know your objective. What is it you want? A ring? Or a wedding?

If it's a wedding, get an inexpensive ring. Buy a synthetic diamond; nobody but a jeweler can tell the difference. Find a ring on Ebay or at a pawn shop. Make getting a cheap ring a fun thing that you and your guy do together.

Don't make him feel like a cheapskate, it'll only push him away from the idea.

Hope that helped,
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

I do not understand the double standard that a guy cannot say, "No" to sex with out the being deemed as having problems.

In my last three relationships the women have left me because I have wanted to take the relationship slowly. Each time it has centered around the fact that I have said, "No" to intercourse.

In the last two relationships I explained before it went anywhere that I would not engage in intercourse until I felt our relationship was solid and committed. Each of the women said they thought this was wonderful and understood. I made it clear up front because the first woman I said no to was hurt and rejected. We talked about it and she said she was ready and that she had never had anyone say no to her. This is why I explained to the next two, up front, front how I felt. I do not want to hurt anyone.

When the foreplay began and it went no further than oral sex they become upset and angry with me. In the second and third relationship this has happened after only two months. I do not want to have intercourse until I am sure that we know each other well enough and that the possibility of a future exists. One that might lead to marriage. I am at that point in my life where I would like to settle down and have a wife and family. It seems as though they do not believe I am serious because they attempt to take it further each time we are together. I have to keep saying, "NO". They have asked me if I was gay, impotent, or just didn't like sex. Each time I am made to feel as though I have a problem or something is wrong with me. None of these things are true. After this happens a wall builds between us until no communication takes place and then the relationship ends.

Please help me understand why it is wrong for me wanting to wait just because I am a guy.

You issue isn't the double standards. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, then she shouldn't be a tease. Same thing goes for men. If you mean "no" then don't take it any further than a good-night kiss.

It's good that you are telling women up front now that you want to take things slow, and that you don't want to have sex until you are sure the relationship is going to last, that it might even have to be a marriage-matieral long-lasting relationship before you'll have sex. Everyone needs to place those thoughts and criteria on the table at the beginning of any relationship.

However, you really shouldn't let the relationship get to the point of oral sex(especially so quickly) if you're not planning on having sex with them. Oral sex is still sex, even though there is no intercourse involved. You're letting these women get turned on to the point where they want to have sex, and where they think you want to have sex. And after they are turned on, you stop.

It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait. But just make sure you don't send them the wrong signals.

Sincerly Yours,
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

ill rate 5's
i feel so ugly... no guys like me, all my friends have b/f's. i even thought i was ugly before. i stayed up until 3;30 last night crying my eyes out because i knew i was ugly... im crying typing this . i feel like im never ever going to be pretty... i dont really even want to live but i wouldn't kill myself cuz thats eww... i just keep realizing how ugly i really am... and then i keep crying. all i do is get made fun of and called ugly i dont want to be ugly.. please help

Sweetie, I know how you feel. When I was in highschool I was made fun of all the time too. They used to call me Chocolate Covererd Marshmallow because my foster parents took me to a barber instead of a beautition to get my hair done and it looked square and fluffy.

But now, here I am, 21. I have a wonderful husband, a great job, and I'm getting to see the world. Where are those people who teased me? They all ended up getting pregnant and having a kid while not married, or kicked out of the house, or addicted to drugs.

I know school is a tough time... you just want to fit in and you want to be liked. But you have to trust me when I say, those wont be the best years of your life. The only people who say,"High school was the best years of my life" are those who have nothing going for them.

You'll grow up, you'll become attractive, and you'll make something of yourself. Trust me... I did. You just have to grit your teeth and take one step at a time. You'll get through this. You will. But as of right now, you need to stop worrying about everyone else, and spend some time on you. Take a day to give yourself an at home spa, it'll make you feel better. And work on bettering your own life(emotionally, physically, and hygenically). Once you stop stressing about what the others have to say, and you start focusing on making yourself feel better and look better, then everything will eventually get better.

Stay safe, don't harm yourself.
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

how do you get the things like on your pictures the caption underneathe ho do you make it pretty nad stuff with like the words on top of words and how do you get 12 top friends and change the stuf like look at whatevers friendss to other things like this girls

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=11275657&Mytoken=D139B21C-1322-10B5-3A90658644E5746538494770

myspace is a bit tricky to anyone new. All HTML and whatnot should be put in the About Me section. As far as making your profile look pretty, it takes a lot of work and a lot of patients, even if you are fluent in HTML and CSS.

However, there is an easier solution. Pre-made layouts for your myspace!

http://www.createblog.com/skins/index.php?type_id=3

This one is a really good one


Have fun!
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

does any one have any hairstyles that are good and quick and easy and things to do with my bangs and stuff? websites are easy explanations =]

and does anyone know any good make up tips and things like that?

This mainly depends on how long your bangs are, and what style they are as well. You could always look in magazines for ideas for hair styles, or here are a few helpful websites:

http://www.hair-styles.org
http://www.1001-hairstyles.com/
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip020.htm

Next, make-up also depends on many factors, such as skin type, hair color, eye color, etc. You can find great tips in Cosmopolitan magazine, Glamour, and other girly magazines, as well as online.
Here are some helpful sites about make-up(as it could literally take me days to go into this):

http://make-up.lifetips.com/
http://www.cosmeticscop.com/learn/article.asp?PAGETYPE=MAKEUP
http://www.makeup411.com/
http://www.ultimate-cosmetics.com/


I hope that helped.
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

does anybody know some tips to take better pictures?

Well, it really depends on the kind of camera you have, and you personal style. You could try taking a basic photography class(if it's offered in your area). Basic photography classes will teach you how to use your zoom lens, shutter speeds and aperatures, as well as provide useful information about flashes, and subject positioning.

If you like taking pictures of pets, get down to their level, rather than standing or sitting at your own.

For portraits, try doing something unique, rather than just a 'sit and smile' portrait. Always try to keep the subject(if it's an animal or human) in a comfortable zone to them, that way you get the best results.

If you're indoors try using a bounce flash rather than the straight-on flash that comes with most cameras. If you use a direct flash you will get shadows in the pictures, where as if you use a bounce flash or flash slave units you wont.

If you have any other questions feel free to personally send me a question.

Sincerely Yours,
Tipsy Gypsy

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker