Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


Un-sociable


Question Posted Wednesday December 7 2005, 8:08 am

I have a very difficult time meeting new people and making friends. For example no one at work ever invites me to go to lunch. I have asked people to go with me, but I always feel like I'm imposing. How can I meet new people and make new friends?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


tipsy_gypsy answered Wednesday December 7 2005, 9:11 am:
You sound to me like a shy person. Usually only shy or annoying people have these problems. You just need to work up the nerve to ask them to hang out with you, or to ask if you can join them(even if it does sound imposing). What's the worst that can happen? They'd say no. But more than likely, they'll say,"Sure." and you'll have a fun time making new friends.

Another thing it sounds like you might have a problem with is fear of rejection. It's common, even I have that problem. You could try to work that out with a therapist, or by yourself. Try going to a social gathering that you know absolutly no one at, and find some random people you don't even know to talk to. This is usually really easy in a bar or a club where people tend to drink and would love to talk about themselves to anyone. Once you feel like you've got more courage you can move on to non-drinking functions, and even work.

Tipsy Gypsy

[ tipsy_gypsy's advice column | Ask tipsy_gypsy A Question
]




Razhie answered Wednesday December 7 2005, 9:03 am:
First of all, impose a little.

People can't know they want your company until they have had a taste of it.

Secondly, look outside work. This seems to be something a lot of people, especially new entrants to the workforce, have trouble with. They assume they will find friends in their workplace like they found friends in class or at their part-time job. It doesn't always work out that way.

Call up someone you haven't seen in a while and have coffee. Join a club. Take a class. Throw a little get together for someone's birthday or promotion. Join the Secret Santa. All the normal advice applies.

But above all, take the risk. Stomp down those self-defeating thoughts and start looking for places where you can offer something socially. It won't improve until you take stock of yourself, realize you are desirable company, and step out in the world to share that.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question
]



karenR answered Wednesday December 7 2005, 8:50 am:
Why would you feel you were imposing?

If you ask and they agree to eat lunch with you they must like you. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

If you are shy, it could be they are mistaking that for being stuck-up. So I think it is good to ask them to lunch. They will get to know you better.

If you can afford it and have the time, a good way to meet people is to take a class in the evenings. Doesn't have to be anything more than something of interest to you. You will meet others with similar intrests.

Good luck. :)

[ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Her mother hates me.
Next Question >>> Co-Worker Flirt?

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker