Gender: Female
Location: austin
Member Since: February 7, 2008
Answers: 40
Last Update: July 4, 2008
Visitors: 2943
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Ok, so my friend has become serious with her BF. AND SHES COMPLETELY BETRAYED WHO SHE IS!!! Shes like super perky and totally self-centered all of the sudden. She used to be super nice and caring with a bit of goth-ness to her. Now all she can talk about how happy/lucky she is and completely ignores my problems or anything i want to talk about. I know she loves her BF, i'm not saying they should break up, but how can i tell her about this without looking like a bitch?
This Perky Narcissist is not the girl who used to be my friend.
I want my friend back =( (link)
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You are so right. I dont know what I am "f" talking about. You have all the right in the world to use VULGAR, TRASH language since that is where you are from. You shouldnt ask for advice since you know it all. Everything is wrong with everyone but you, because you were raised by the most loving "beings?" on the planet you are from. Have a nice life in rehab someday.;)
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How can I maintain or improve mental health?
I am from Tonga (link)
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Maintaining good mental health is easy because you obviously already achieved and maintained good health until now. Improving mental health implies you are disatisfied with your current state of well being. I find vitamin B-12 to be helpful. Exercise and good diet is important and avoiding excesses is also crucial. Emotional well-being involves other people. Surround yourself with healthy and loving people. Avoid drugs and people who use them. Talking about your feelings is always a good thing.
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Ok, i know why someone would like someone [as in you find then attractive, they have a good personality, and they are kind and caring people] that part makes sense. But ive always wondered what it is exactly that creates the feeling of liking a person?
For example there could be two guys: both are sweet, friendly, and good looking [obviously everyone has a different idea of what good looks are but physical attraction is also part of liking a person] So both these guys would be cool and fun to hang out with, but maybe a person would only be attracted to one. I wonder why, what creates this attraction to only one, when the other is just as good? There has to be something about a person that you find special, maybe like something about them inspires you. I'm not sure if there is an exact science to it but if anyone might have any ideas please let me know
thanx =D (link)
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I am drawn to someone who uses the kind of words or adjectives I like to hear. I also like them if they have a philosophy or perspective that improves my outlook. Also, if they seem to accept me and like me for who I am along with certain good looks that date back to my first crush. I like someone who allows me to be me but the worst of me. I like new fresh people that are better than me and still like me.
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im 14, turning 15 in june.
i have a mole on my face and i really want it removed. i actually have two. you think that like my dermatologist would let me? and how much does the normally cost.?
thanks (link)
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about 50-200 depending on size. Yes they remove it but it will grow back slowly to a smaller size and have to remove again about every 5 yrs.
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i know athesists believe in nothing but what else do they believe in? (link)
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They specifically beleive that there is no god and try to convince others of that because they believe they are so much smarter than the rest of us. They believe they are special and misunderstood. They are confused.
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awhile back i entered a question about my 20 yr old daughter leaving back east to live with her father. well, she has asked my 18 yr old son to go with her, supposedly just for a few weeks, but i am extremely uncomfortable about this. i did not yell ar anything but the ex husband does nothing except try to brainwash them while they are there. they are leaving tomorrow and i can't help but feel abandoned by my kids who i've suffered and sacraficed to support all these years. i can't even look at my daughter, let alone say good-bye to her. i am so disappointed with her. i'm sure my son feels as if he is in the middle of all this and it breaks my heart that her and her father are going to try to talk him into staying there instead of coming back. my ex really is a piece of shit who has done nothing all these years but now looks like mr. cool. he is totally going against any rules i've made and if i say white he says black. i cannot believe how easyily my daughter is being swayed by him. and i'm trying to be cool about all of this, but i'm afraid i will lose it tomorrow when it's time for them to leave. i don't even want to be here, which i won't because i am so deeply hurt due to how my daughter is being to me and now i fear my son is a lost cause as well. and to top it all off, not only do i feel like the worst parent in the world, it looks like that as well. and one more thing, he is an alcoholic and she is already following in his foot steps by having problems with alcohol, i don't even know if the decisions she has made are alcohol induced or not. help!! (link)
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Look on the bright side, you no longer have to provide all your mental, emotional and financial resource for them and can start taking care of yourself. Grown children choose the parent that allows them to be themselves. If your daughter wants to follow in his footsteps, good luck to her. If your son, by odds alone, choses to be like you, he will be back. I am the 11th of 12 children. My father passed away when i was 16. No one child turned out the same. Some are very successful, some are lost. Some blame my mom or my dad's death. My mother was an excellent mother and we all chose in spite of that or because of that. Its each grown person's wiring that makes them choose. Enjoy your freedom.
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I love having sex with my partner but when i reach the point of orgasam i tense up and can not enjoy it is there anything i can do to help me not tense up every time? (link)
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Have a glass of wine or some beer before.
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I have been dating a man for a little over 2 years. I invited my him to my house for Christmas Dinner which he accepted, but because his back was hurting he did not come. After dinner with my kids and my Mom I took a plate over to him. Once I arrived at his house he wanted to go to visit some of his friends and his brother. While at his friends house he had to make sure that I took pictures of him with his friend and her family. That of course was after he shovled their sidewalks for them. Then at his brother's house I had to take a picture of him and his cousin by marriage whos husband passed away several years ago. He has always told me that she has had a big crush on him. She started flirting with him the moment that we arrived. She made it very clear that she was currently single. This annoyed me. When we got back to his house he made the comment of "Well I at least got pictures of who I wanted" I felt a little hurt because out of the 2 years that we have been together we have had one picture taken of us together. Hard to believe, but true. Yet, he did not ask anyone to take our picture together. Heck he didn't even take one of me alone. After all of this I really felt like me and my family were not worth much to him. Am I being over sensitive?
(link)
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He is a worthless idiot. Even if these people are the world to him, he should have not let know about it. He has no manners or feelings for you and you kids. Move on, coldly, quickly, dont look back- teach him a lesson.
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I have worked with this guy for over 9 months and we work in different departments. He comes into my department alot to look up stuff for his job and I catch him looking at me often. But when I smile or look back he quickly looks away. He talks to everyone else in my department but me. I am somewhat shy and do not know what to say to him but I really like him. I know he is single because he came to our Work Christmas Party alone and he kept staring at me there too!! If anyone thinks he like me back then what can I say or do to make him talk to me? (link)
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You are both too old for these unclear signals. He should approach you. I have had stuttering shy guys run to make a move before someone else did. You dont want someone who just stares at you. Shy, Shmy.. no such thing if he really likes you. Move on.
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My best friend of 15 years was acting a little cozy with my 17 year old son over the summer. Even against countless warnings, she still continued with her behavior. Of course this situation blew up resulting in her husband threatening to leave her and me and her not speaking for over a month. We did resume our friendship a little over 2 months ago, with her convincing everyone that we were imagining things. Recently however I discovered that she has been emailing my son ever since the situation began. Her husband found some emails and did not speak to her for 3 days. I on the other hand had no knowledge at all (even about the recent development with her husband) until I checked my sons email account where I found her latest email stating that her husband found out and she could not email for awhile. I confronted her and she stated that she felt like he needed a friend. The advice she gave to him resulted in a complete anarchy from my son. I feel extremely betrayed and she is acting as if she did nothing wrong. Do I end this friendship?
Ema (link)
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End it. She is headed for the worst part of her illness. You don't want to be part of it. It will get ugly. She will worsen til she hits bottom. You can't afford to be there, she is not your child- leave this mess for her mom.
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OK...I will try to make this as short as I can. Basically, for reasons we don't understand, I have fallen out of love with my husband. We have been married for almost 9 years now & have 2 kids together. He doesn't beat me or anything like that. He's a pretty good guy, but, for some reason I always like someone else better. No, I am not acting on anything or going after anyone. I just end up falling for other people. I really want to fall back in love with him! I miss that feeling & I honestly couldn't imagine finding anyone like him. What can we do? Thanks. (link)
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Go ahead and try to act on your impulses and you will see what scum is out there and you will appreciate what you have. Anyone single is so for a reason. They are either abusive, chemically dependent or incredibly perverted
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I am 34/F. My best friend/cousin told me the other day that she has contemplated not being friends with me anymore because of things I say to her, i.e., I told her I wasn't going to an event because it was boring, and she was offended because it is part of her family tradition and her parents plan it every year. (I had no idea her parents planned it. It is a city-sponsored event.) She also said that when I was little, my mom would talk crap about her family and I would repeat it to them. I don't doubt that this is true, but it happened when I was a kid so I can't remember anything that was said, and neither can my cousin. She just remembers it happening. I teasingly called her a "hoverer," and she was offended because she has heard me in the past say that others were hoverers and it was negative.
I am upset that she has contemplated not being my friend anymore and also that she seems to be overly sensitive. I actually watch what I say around her because I know she is overly sensitive to begin with, I just didn't realize how much. I have not spoken with her since she told me all this. What should I do/say? (link)
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Who, at this age, says "I don't want to be friends anymore"? If she doesn't want to be friends, then you are lucky you don't have to walk on eggshells for a cry-baby. None of my friends are sensitive nor watch what they say around FRIENDS. Besides, how long ago were you "little"? She needs to get over it before she has grown friends.
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One of my female student recently (after spring break)decided to start wearing skirts just because of a boy she likes, unfortunately she has no idea how to flirt....
She wears skirts but she covers her legs with a sweater eventhough it is 100 degrees...
she needs help (link)
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YOu obviously don't know how to be a teacher. Stay out of your female students flirting issues and just address dress code.
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one of my students just found out that the guy that she likes is not interested on her,,,she is sad and disspointed. I have told her that she is pretty and she will find someone that will love her.
What can I do to make her feel special?
Also I am afraid that she ends up with a jerk...
you know nice girls most of the times end up with jerks.... (link)
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Be a professional. Grow up. You are in serious danger of losing your job because your question is a sign of serious emotional retardation.
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I am an attractive guy (35) and she's an attractive lady (28) but I'm forced to initiate sex 9 of 10 encounters and when she attempts to initiate lately I don't take her seriously to the point where I'll brush her off saying, "you're joking, right", then go about my business. She likes sex early in the evening whereas I like late nite romps, I enjoy sex to music, she likes to play the television while I try to sleep, she insists that I go places with her when I'm tired from working 2 jobs about 4 days per week while she works one job maybe one time per week, etc. We're polar opposites in many ways but my main question has to do with how I can explain to her that even as a guy I would like to be treated as an attractive man and have her initiate on an equitable basis. (link)
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Insecurity is the mother of neediness. Act less interested. Criticize other women that look like her. Mention or let her find out other women are after you. Was her ex better looking than you? If not, bring him up. Let her find a picture of a hotter ex. Women love to compete against other women. Maybe she doesnt remember how hard it is to find an attractive man at her age. Yes, even 28 gets slim pickins. I cant find an attractive man if I hot glued Jessica Biel and Giselle Bundshen to my sides. The last attractive man I dated was 3 years ago when I turned 30. Remind her that her attractive man clock is ticking.
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A question was posed to me by a friend having troubles in their relationship.
"How do I fall in love with them again?"
And I was at a loss. I tried to give logical answers. I tried to give suggestions. But truly I didn't have an answer. So now I'll lay it out for you to help with.
For ever and ever it's always been the same old story. Relationships start out great. That greatness lasts for a while and slowly starts to burn out. Until finally in the end one person hates the other. Then the innevitable happens. The words are said "I'll change, I promise". Now we all have heard these words or maybe even said them. But how often is it actually the truth? So maybe at this point you either A: get or give the benefit of the doubt, or B: show or are shown the door.
Option B is pretty self explanitory. So let's look at option A. One partner says to the other "I'll change, I promise" and they get that chance to prove it. Now honestly how scepticle are you that this person will change. And if you're the changer how honest are you REALLY being.
But lets say for a second that the person actually starts changing. Of course you're probably waiting for them to fail, and are not going to get your hopes up too high. But what do you do when they continue to change? What do you do when they don't give up. How do you get past those feelings of doubt and caution? Meanwhile the changer is waiting for you to accept them again. Waiting for you to love them again. How do you move on to the rest of the relationship? How do you (given you chose to continue) forgive them or yourself, for what brought you both to this point to begin with?
My inclination on this subject is simply this "If you truly love them then you need to forgive yourself and your partner and let the past be the past. Forgive but don't forget, so that if history begins to repeat itself you will both know how to prevent it."
(link)
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People dont change, situations change them. Your mate somehow makes you feel comfy doing what you do. If you change partners you either pick one that is just as permissive or not. People never forget the bad times. I still remember th time my mom embarrasses me in 6th grade. I still know i can get my boyfriend to do beer runs for me but my ex wont even hand me a magazine near him. So now I drink more.
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I'm male, nearly 30.
For half my life I've been chasing girls and from asking God for a girlfriend to crying in the shower, I've tried it all.
I've been on dates, but none of the women I have been interested in, likes me back (more than a friend, your such a NICE guy... I know that one off by heart). Its really frustrating to be 30 and to know only rejection from women, obviously at this stage I'm so insecure that the last time I liked this chick I totally started to stutter really badly when I thought about trying to kiss her.
I don't try to screw anything that moves, if I'm not interested in a women, I don't make moves on them and have no problem talking to them.
I'm really low and I need advice, not comfort. (link)
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Women hate being overlooked or ignored. Be more disinterested and they will come around. Don;t act like a girl's best girlfriend, act like a the guy they all bitch about. Insensitive, hard to please, demanding, forgetful, thoughtless, bored. Where I work, the women are so man hungry they act like horny sailors. Hang out in female dominated places. If you like a girl, act interested in someone she envies or hates.
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My gf (f/28) of 1.5 yrs. hates where I (m/36) live and often complains that the traffic/crime/people are really bad. Long story short she will not come to my place unless the electricity has been turned off at hers and complains that it's tiny compared to hers which she rents at a discount becuz her bff runs the apt. complex. Recently she's begun coming over to my place more often due to the fact that she has a temp. job in the area but now due to several murders that have occurred in her apt. complex causing her and her bf to consider moving, she says she's going to make me upgrade to a two bedroom apartment and move in with me since I signed a 9 mo. lease a few mos. back in disregard of her plea that I move in with her. I'm at a loss and rather tired of the pressure she applies re: this issue, I already spend big $$ on gas to get to her place and she is unwilling to meet me halfway regarding how much time we spend at each others apt. I feel she's being a hypocrite and would like to know what you think I should do. (link)
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Money and distance and different lifestyle are the main reasons for break ups. Move on.
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Why is it that life always takes a dump on the nice guys and gives all the great shit to the assholes who dont deserve it? Im fed up with it, Im nothing but nice to people and i love being the nice, sweet guy, but why is it so hard to be happy? All these jerks get everything, why? Do i have to be an asshole to get what i want? Nice guys never get the girl... (link)
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Your idea of nice and a girl's idea of nice are not the same. Maybe you are coming off as too gullible and clingy or that you expect "something" in return. You don't have to be an a--hole. Just don't be inappropriately and unexpectedly nice. Giving expensive gifts are considered odd, being a doormat is not respected by guys or girls either. Let them make the first move and if you have a weight problem, hit the gym. Most men are not sweet and nice so it makes you look odd just like most girls are not forgetful. Who ever heard of a girl that forgets anniversaries? I used to be nice, giving and considerate to my peers, who secretly talked behind my back about what a sap i was and they thought i had secret motives.
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20f
ok so i am not sure how to break this to my parents that i am moving out into my boyfriends families house. I am moving anyway in june into my own apartment while i go to cosmetology school. Yet to live with my parents is like to not go to the psych ward its crazy. I Just know that in my heart that this is the right thing to do i have been thinking about it for a couple of months now and i believe this is my time. The problem is what is great for me isnt for my parents they are all about waiting to get married. my older sister moved in with her boyfriend and they got a divorce two years later because of his gambling problem and they see the same happening to me yet i am not planning on living at his parents house for five years like her. I am only going to be there for a couple of months. I have already told my mom this its my dad who i am scared to tell. My boyfriend gets along with my dad but he thinks that if this is whats going to make me happy then he supports me. I guess my question is how to sit both my parents down and what i should say and what i shouldnt say when i move. Sorry that this is so long (link)
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I was in a similar situation when I was 19. I moved into my boyfriends "saner" house. Well, it was saner in one sense but worse in others. I moved out and had to be on my own, I had many starving times. I too started cosmetology school and had to drop out. Funny thing, when you live in a bad situation, you will only meet people who will provide you with a bad situation. Try moving out on your own, try being an independent person first. You might be with this guy because he seems like the only raft in a storm. Then when you feel you have reached safer ground, you will see all his flaws, and trust me, you will see all his flaws. Please listen to the harder advice, at this moment in your life, you will make all the worst choices if you use your own judgement.
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