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36 Yr Old Best Friend Emailing my 17 Yr Old Son
My best friend of 15 years was acting a little cozy with my 17 year old son over the summer. Even against countless warnings, she still continued with her behavior. Of course this situation blew up resulting in her husband threatening to leave her and me and her not speaking for over a month. We did resume our friendship a little over 2 months ago, with her convincing everyone that we were imagining things. Recently however I discovered that she has been emailing my son ever since the situation began. Her husband found some emails and did not speak to her for 3 days. I on the other hand had no knowledge at all (even about the recent development with her husband) until I checked my sons email account where I found her latest email stating that her husband found out and she could not email for awhile. I confronted her and she stated that she felt like he needed a friend. The advice she gave to him resulted in a complete anarchy from my son. I feel extremely betrayed and she is acting as if she did nothing wrong. Do I end this friendship?
Ema
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
End it. She is headed for the worst part of her illness. You don't want to be part of it. It will get ugly. She will worsen til she hits bottom. You can't afford to be there, she is not your child- leave this mess for her mom.
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Your "friend" has shown at the very least a clear lacking of good judgement and disrespect for you and your husband as parents and friends. At worst, she may indeed be psychologically unbalanced and a sexual predator. It is still a little shocking to view a woman as a possible threat...we usually leave perversion to the men and are hesitant to suspect females. Unfortunately psychosis is not as sexist as our society and is not gender biased. She needs therapy...serious therapy and not "a friend" whether you or your son or her next victim. Do not let your sense of obligation to your friend overwhelm your real obligation to your son. She has proven she cannot be trusted and the only thing to do is to erase her from your lives completely. A big maybe but do be cautious: Maybe in the far future when she admits all abnormal behavior and takes responsibility for her wrongs and has completed a lot of therapy, you might be able to keep in touch outside of the home and away from all children/grandchildren etc...Think this is too paranoid? What if she were a 36yr old man, a friend of your husband's that had made a play for and stalked your teenage daughter? Same difference. The best thing now is to waste no more energy on this woman and use everything to get back in touch with your son. Family counseling would be a great idea.
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I would end the friendship
if it was no big deal as she stated then she would have told you...
besides you have to take care of your son and make sure that your friend isn't "corrupting" him.
she just doesnt seem like a friend at all to me...
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If I were in the same position as you I would probably end the friendship and do what I could to make sure my son kept his distance from her.
If there is anything more than this e-mail relationship going on then you could threaten legal action if she refused to end this inappropriate contact with your son.
There is no 100% way to make sure your son doesn't e-mail her because he could easily make new e-mail accounts or just continue on. Even if you took away the home computer he could use a public one. What you have to do is stress the importance of just keeping away from her to him. She sounds like she needs some therapy...
Anyway, if I were in your position I would keep both myself and my son away from her. In the end it's all up to you though.
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