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daughter is leaving tomorrow
awhile back i entered a question about my 20 yr old daughter leaving back east to live with her father. well, she has asked my 18 yr old son to go with her, supposedly just for a few weeks, but i am extremely uncomfortable about this. i did not yell ar anything but the ex husband does nothing except try to brainwash them while they are there. they are leaving tomorrow and i can't help but feel abandoned by my kids who i've suffered and sacraficed to support all these years. i can't even look at my daughter, let alone say good-bye to her. i am so disappointed with her. i'm sure my son feels as if he is in the middle of all this and it breaks my heart that her and her father are going to try to talk him into staying there instead of coming back. my ex really is a piece of shit who has done nothing all these years but now looks like mr. cool. he is totally going against any rules i've made and if i say white he says black. i cannot believe how easyily my daughter is being swayed by him. and i'm trying to be cool about all of this, but i'm afraid i will lose it tomorrow when it's time for them to leave. i don't even want to be here, which i won't because i am so deeply hurt due to how my daughter is being to me and now i fear my son is a lost cause as well. and to top it all off, not only do i feel like the worst parent in the world, it looks like that as well. and one more thing, he is an alcoholic and she is already following in his foot steps by having problems with alcohol, i don't even know if the decisions she has made are alcohol induced or not. help!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Look on the bright side, you no longer have to provide all your mental, emotional and financial resource for them and can start taking care of yourself. Grown children choose the parent that allows them to be themselves. If your daughter wants to follow in his footsteps, good luck to her. If your son, by odds alone, choses to be like you, he will be back. I am the 11th of 12 children. My father passed away when i was 16. No one child turned out the same. Some are very successful, some are lost. Some blame my mom or my dad's death. My mother was an excellent mother and we all chose in spite of that or because of that. Its each grown person's wiring that makes them choose. Enjoy your freedom.
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take it from a kid WE WANT FREEDOM and really i am sorry about your situation beacause i know how my mom would feel if i wanted to live my father too. the alchohol has probally something to do with a problem she is having. i think you should just ask her straight out if she can stop all of it. Maybe a phone call a day to you would help your guys relationship. and just appologise because like to think that they are right in the situation and that they contorll the show. if u appologise even if you didint do anything she will be happier. sorry thats all i have to say<3
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ok wow i am just 15 but i know a good suggestion for this. Dont blame yourself keep your head Hi and up in the clouds dont be gloomy and show them they are nothing to you anymore let them know you still love them have a dinner with each other and talk about this let your feelings out and say what they are putting you threw but always say i will love yea to death no matter what happens but please reconsider. and when you confront them about this do it anytime of they when they least expect it...it always better when they least expect. and dont blame yourself again you have done all you can for these children you of course you have sacrificed alot you are the mothers all mothers do. You aint the meanest.sh*ttiest mom in there world dont ever think that about yourself you are better than that. but you husband you can talk to him too confront him and ask why he is doing this and make sure why he is doing this maybe its not for payback what if he is just lonely and needs someone his kids perhaps. And your daughter being a alcholic or problems with alcohol comfront it to her see why she is doing it yes hse will get mad but it is always best to try. but just always know you grew them up and once its 18 thats when they make there choice see where god takes them now. But keep trying to help and comfort them. But just hope god has bigger plans for them in life. But dont ignore them it just makes them feel really worse than what they feel already..
GOOD LUCK I KNOW KINDA LATE
BUT MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE
XOXOXOXOXO
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Its probally hard to go through what you are going through and its nothing that I could ever picture what your going through but i do say this as a daughter I would say let them go.. they are at an age where they hopefully have instilled all of your morals into their mind and know what they want for themselves. its hard to let any one go especially to someone you don't like. but think of it as a learning lesson... maybe your kids will see how lucky they are. every child needs to get away from the person they have spent their whole life with to find themselves. They are now adults and live their lives how they choose for better or for worse and all you can do is sit back and pray for them and make sure they know whatever they choose you are always there
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