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I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
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My boyfriend and I have been dating 10 months. We go to a two story school with stairwells. We were in this one particular stairwell in the morning before school started and one teacher told us to "MOVE ON, GET TO CLASS" (Note: We were not hugging or doing any other type of PDA, my boyfriend was just standing against the wall with me about a foot in front of him looking at him). Today, between classes, we were in the same stairs, same scenario. We walked down the stairs, hugged quickly, then I went back up the stairs where the teacher was staring then made my way to my class (I went to third period). She happened to be talking to my boyfriend and I's fourth period teacher, when the teacher that got on to us and came over and talked to us. She said that we are not allowed to be in the stairwell between classes (except to get to class, obviously)and we were giving the appearance of doing something else (Note: Neither of these "rules" are written school rules). She told us if she caught us in there again, she was going to write us both up. My boyfriend asked what rules we were breaking and she said "Subordination". She told our fourth period teacher about it, and my fourth period teacher got on to us simply for holding hands (according to the policy book, this is acceptable). (link)
I just have to take the minute to say a large bravo to protossc541 and confirm that this really does work. If your teacher doesn't give in, take it to the Principal yourself and assert yourself in a polite manner.

It's worth remembering that teachers generally expect this sort of thing from boys more than girls because, as a sweeping generalisation, boys are more willing to stick up for themselves. Get into a mindset where you have absolute conviction in what you are saying before taking this to your principal. Take a deep breath and be firmand calm before you talk to him/her. Then throw their own book at them.

If this doesn't work then hell yeah bring on the parents. I also found that writing a thinly veiled pithy article in any school paper available to you about whether the letter of school rules really matter to the faculty and hence whether they should matter to the students, will at least get the issue discussed. If you word this well they can't touch you.


How intimate do you consider touching someone's face? To me it's incredibly intimate - reserved for lovers/close friends only, but others disagree. And for the record, I'm not talking about wiping peanut butter off someone's face here!;)
What do you all think? How does it rate on the 'intimacy scale?':)
(link)
Yeah it's pretty intimate but depends on the way you touch someone. It can just be playful, but I'd say definately always affectionate to some degree. I wouldn't do it to anyone I wasn't at least fond of.


** In which case it totally depends on the manner of touch- lingering and looking in her eyes, hell yeah, that's intimate. Chucking her chin/laughing or the like may be excusable. To be honest you've gota go with your instincts and your judgement of him as a person on this one. If it crosses your personal boundaries as to what's acceptable in a relationship then he should respect that or not be with you.


i didnt know whether to put this in injuries or sex, but since it has to do with a certain part of my body, i guess sex?

anyway, i have a vaginal tearing.... it's not really my fault, but it's so embaressing, and i cant bare to tell anyone. i feel dirty and gross, and i dont want anyone to be near that part of my body. (and my gf keeps wanting to have sex, and i keep having to make shit up!)
also, it hurts, and everytime i touch my self down there i get little to no pleasure, i pretty much just feel irritated all over down there. please tell me what i can possibly do?? it's obviously not just going to magically go away, and i'm so sick of feeling this way. what in the heck should i do? (link)
Ouch honey! Go to your doc. I know you don't want to and you're going to be embarrassed but doctors deal with this sort of thing all the time. Most women, for example, tear when they give birth and if you think about the amount of women who have babies you'll see how often they deal with this sort of thing. Not to mention all the women who tear during sex.

Anyway the upshot of it is your doc might take a look (again, they see HUNDREDS of vaginas so will be unfazed. Ask for a female doc to make you more comfortable. It's more than likely the doctor examining you has been in your position more than once too!) and will probably tell you to just keep it clean and leave it alone until it heals. Or if it doesn't heal on its own or give you some cream to put on it. If you lived with it this long I doubt it's bad enough to require a stitch so no-one'll be messing about down there. Don't worry about it too much tho- it's built for childbirth and sex so it's pretty able to deal with wear and tear!

In the meantime, tell your girlfriend. It's not gross or dirty-it's just an injury! I bet she'd far rather know what's going on than feel confused and rejected by you avoiding sex for seemingly no reason. Although, obviously, yes avoid sex until you're healed. She'll understand that.x



I'm only 2weeks pregnant. I'm a young expecting mom, But I have a great way to work this out.
I'm living with my boyfriend (He has a job & goes to college) and getting help from my parents and my boyfriends parents. Its all working out pretty good.
I clean houses as a little job, right now. My boyfriend doesn't want me to have a real job.
I'm already picking out names, and going to baby stores looking clothes, you know. Its early but its fun to hangout with my friends.
But I'm afraid of being a bad mom to this child.
What will this child think when it may find out I didn't want the them at first, That i needed help to raise them from my parents?
I should be able to raise a baby, I took the chances of getting pregnant by having sex.
its my fault. (link)
The fact you're even thinking about this this deeply shows that you are certainly going to be a good mum because it sounds like you genuinely consider the best things for your baby and it barely even exists yet!

Every mother in the world worries at some point and to some extent whether they're going to be/ are a good mother or not, it's totally normal, but so long as you keep your child's best interests at heart you can't go too far wrong.

Secondly, no first time mum really completely knows how to look after a child by themselves- they need to be shown, helped and given time to get the hang of it. The only thing likely to arise from accepting help from your parents and boyfriend's parents is a tight, close-knit family for the child to grow up in and that's a good thing.

Thirdly lots and lots of babies are unplanned and lots of parents begin by wondering if they really want a child. A girl I knew was an accident and her parents used to say to her "yes, you were a mistake but you're the nicest mistake we ever made". She was actually pretty proud of this fact :).

It sounds like you and your boyfriend are being very responsible and it's great your boyfriend is working to support you all as well as learning so he can provide for you in the future. Big kudos to both of you. To me it sounds like you're going to be great parents.


hi, has anyone on here ever gone from total unsatisfaction to loving their lives and not wanting to trade their memories for anything in the world?? what was it that made that change? new awesome friends? a bf/gf? some kind of amazing experience?

what changed your outlook on life? (link)
Heh kind of a combination of the above. I got talked into auditioning for a school play by one of my friends (who was also a pretty big factor in making me believe there were nice people who got me in the world) a few years ago in which i somehow got a lead role and there I not only met my boyfriend but a whole group of non-judgemental, lovely interesting people who took me as I was and who I totally fitted in with. I did plays after that and always found the same thing. Good some good long-lasting friends from that.

Maybe that happens for anyone in a cast because youre all working so closely together or maybe I've just been very lucky with the people I met but that was definately the turning point for me from pretty much misery and alienation to being happy with myself.


well theres this boy i like and my best friend knew him before me but never talked to him or anything. she said he was ugly but after i said he was cute and that i liked him she said it to and she starts flirting with him and kissin him on the cheek when im standing right there. He wants us to blow him but take turns. Have one of us blow him while the other one makes out with him then switch. my {best} friend is all like "ya lets do it sexy" and stuff like that and im soo freakin mad cuz she knew i liked him alot!! i told her about this and she just said that im makin a big deal out of nothing and that hes mine. what do you guys think am i overreacting or should i be mad? i mean would you want your best friend making out and givin bj's to the boy you like? (link)
Frankly both your best friend and the guy you like sound not only like complete imbeciles bt as though they couldn't give a crap about your feelings. I'm going to hazard a guess at the three of you being somewhere around the 15 yrs mark (right/wrong?) due to the fact this boy is trying to prove himself to be some kind of "pimp" and they fact that neither one of you girls seems to balk at the idea of being the arrogant little boy's sexual object.

Yes you should be very mad at having him assume you will do something entirely for his pleasure that I'm afraid, once he has spread the tale around all his mates (and he will), will do nothing for you except land you with a reputation that will, however unfairly, put a lot of decent guys off you for years to come. He knows full well that you two girls are fighting over him and he's just exploiting the situation. You may like him but he doesn't care about you and clearly does not plan on having any kind of relationship with you.

Your best friend cuts a bit of a pitiful figure in that she's clearly hugely insecure. Not only does she have to go after a guy you like to prove she can beat you but she is also willing to do or at least say she'll do anything this cretin suggests to prove what a fun girl she is. Leave them to it.

Sorry this is so long and harsh but I've known to many girls walk into this kind of situation and regret it for years. He's an idiot who thinks he can get whatever he wants from whoever he wants- do everyone a favour and don't prove him right.

**EDIT**- That sounds like a brilliant plan. Trust me, you can do better.


Hey,
My sister is 12 years old & i just found out something that disturbs me a bit. She kinda has sex with a bunny.. but not really.. she leaves her pants and underwear on and everything and she puts the bunny against her genital organs and kinda like humps it.. she moves up and down and she says its pleasurful and she likes the feeling of it. Is this normal for a 12 year old to havce urges for this kind of stuff? & can this be harmful..?? Please help me.. I dont know if she young to have a vibrator.. so what should i do? (link)
Yeah it's totally normal for her to have those urges at this age but you might want to suggest she use something a little more...clean to play with. I'm assuming by bunny you mean an actual live rabbit and they tend to be less than hygienic what with living in hutches and all. At the end of the day a vibrator is cleaner than a pet but isn't really necessary if she has hands.

However I think that's the only part you should really even begin to be concerned about here. A straw poll among my friends suggests this is a pretty average age to start masturbating and people discover it in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways.

She still sounds pretty innocent about it all so if you had a word with her now it sounds like t would be minimally embarrassing for the both of you as opposed to waiting until she's an awkward teen.


is it necessary to breast feed? like does it HAVE to be done or will the formula stuff work just as well ? (link)
Hey just to add a point to the first advice left- most of those antibodies are passed on during the first couple of feeds after you've given birth so if you're planning on formula feeding generally, if you at least breast feeding for the first couple of times will pass on a lot of the stuff they need.

There's lots of "research" on the subject such as whether breast fed or bottle fed babies are more intelligent blah blah blah but most of it's very flimsy if not quite a lot of crap, be careful which studies you take as gospel. The reality is lots of mothers do a combination of the two depending on what's more convenient.

Also there are cases, especially in older or stressed mothers, where breast milk is simply not enough to keep a baby going and where formula milk actually gives the baby more nutrients so it's all relative and what's best for a baby will vary a lot.


15/f
Ok, so i liked a guy same old story. blah. well i wrote him a letter because he was leaving the next day and i couldn't say it in person. well he wrote me back. Here's the letter

my name here,

Thanks for the letter. It takes guys to come out and say something like you said. have you ever read Proverbs 27:5? "Open rebuke is better than secret love." I guess that it is best to just come out with stuff like that. To be honest, when I was a freshman, I had a crush on ___ who was a senior. So I've been in the same boat. I do like the fact that you are different from most girls. You have a good testimony. Don't blow it, build on it..... (some stuff about hanging around with some people)

Well, "Have a good summer" (making fun of something i said in my letter) and enjoy your THREE more years of school.

(his name here) SO is it a good rejection letter, and open ended letter, or what? He's home now and im nervous about talking to him. (link)
I'm thinking it's a nice rejection letter. I'm also thinking this guy is a bit of a patronising eejit, sorry! Obviously i'm only judging from this one letter but that Bible quote is kinda harsh and telling you "don't blow" your "good testimony" just sounds very preachy and impersonal to me. Frankly he sounds like a guy I know and I can just hear that irritating tone...

ANYWAY, the best way to deal with this i think is to just carry on as normally as possible- the more you act confident and calm about it the easier it will e and sooner it will be forgotten about. If you don't talk to him this will be the last memory he holds of you! Thinking of it like that will probably promt you to communicate somehow!

Seriously, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, you gave it a shot, he pretty politely declined and there's really no reason you still can't have a friendship if you're ok with that. Good luck x


This kind of goes into a couple different categories..
anyway, a girl I know from gradeschool is having a party for her sweet 16 tonight, 8/10. I haven't seen her in a while since we're going into 10th grade. We were never really close but she's not popular so I thought why not go and just make the most of it. well, a lot of things have changed since gradeschool. I was kinda known as the "bad" girl because I went to a catholic school & I'm not extremely religious/studious/family oriented as my group of friends, but that was before. Since then I've drank/smoked/etc & some of the people going there know about it or just think I'm a plain old druggie, which I am not. I'm still a good person! My question is, what can I do/dress like/talk about with them so they still think I'm a good person?? It's not that I can't be myself, I just have to clean up my act a bit. These people are VERY judgemental & chatty. I'm using this party as a chance to redeem myself. They don't really like talking about boys (they consider grinding an inappropriate act, along with kissing). We're gonna be riding go carts & then sleeping over so I really need some help!

*What can I do/dress like/talk about?

thank you sooo much if you can help me!! I know it's tricky and really long so I really appreciate any help! 15/female.

[ps, I don't need a lecture about the things I do/have done. It's not that I don't want to take responsibility, it's that I don't want everyone in my business.] (link)
I'm not gona say anything about being yourself etc etc because I'm sure you have your reasons for wanting to fit in with these people so here goes:

To begin with conformity is the key. Dress how they dress more or less. I'd say unfitted jeans and an unrevealing T-shirt are probably par for the course amongst the kind of people you describe but you know basically what they wear- go for something similar if you can. (Jeans or trousers are probably the most practical if you're gokarting anyway)

As for conversation, you have a starting point right there- talk about the activity whilst you pick up the general topics of their conversation you can join in with. It doesn't matter if you're a bit quiet to begin with- just act interested in what other people have to say and ask them questions about the things they're talking about (I'm talking the occasional request for elaboration or explanation on whatever they're talking about here though, not machinegun fire about every detail of their lives since the day they were born)- there's nothing people like more than to be made to feel they're interesting (this is especially true of excruciatingly boring people).

At the end of the day if you're observant, generally unoffensive and interested in the people you're with (or pretend to be) there really shouldn't be a problem unless they've formed a solid and unreasonable prejudice against you in which case, their loss.


hey my names jess....well my friends mom nd step dad went away for the night and considering were teenagers we invited a couple of boys over..well me my friend taylor nd 2 boys decided to go in the bathtub with bathingsuits on bc we were just swimmin but the girlswho house it was at took a picture of me nd one boy in the tub. her mom looked threw her camera nd found a the picture and she found another pic of my friends poisin with boys..her mom is flipping out and says she was gonna call the cops to find out what happened..im like really have a panic attack over here i know what i did was wrong but i dont know what to do...im having trouble breathing...im a very paranoid person so its really getting to me...how can i sop being nervous and make this situation better...without getting in more trouble than i should be in?

please help me!!
jess (link)
I don't really understand the big deal. I'm guessing you're at least in your early teens so sitting in a bathtub in a bathing suit with a guy is nooot a big deal. Posing for a photo with a guy is even less so. No-one can do a damn thing to you for doing it with the possible exception of your parents who may well freak out at the idea of their little girl being in any kind of close contact with a boy and ground you or something.

If you're worried tell your parents before your friend's mum does. It'll at least show you're honest and you get a chance to explain the situation and that nothing else happened before it gets blown all out of proportion by this woman's overreaction.

I know stuff like this seems like a cardinal sin at the time but you're growing up and everybody's going to have to learn to deal with that. So long as you're responsible and take care of yourself there's nothing wrong with having a laugh at a party, even shock horror, with boys.


Lately I've been having dreams that just seem so real. I wake up and it feels like it really happened. It's so incredibly weird because sometimes I have to actually think about if whatever I dreamed about happened in real life or not. They drive me insane. Is there any feed back anyone can give me? Like, why they seem so unbelievable real or if you've ever had dreams like that? Anything at all, thanks. (link)
Yeah I get those occasionally, usually when I'm worrying about something a lot or I'm confused about a situation. It's like your mind can't think of anything else and is processing it on conscious and subconscious levels which are then bound to get mixed up since they're working on the same issue in different ways.

That's my experience of it anyway but there's a whole load of psychologists studying sleep and the brain at the moment because we know so little about it. If you want to explore your dreams on a more scientific level (to explain the whys and wherefores etc) start by searching False Memories and that should lead you in pretty much the right direction.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11504326&dopt=Abstract


All of my clothes I buy stretch so easily. It's because they're all made of like thin fabric. It's not like I need a bigger size it's just that if I'm wearing it for a long time my shirts seem to get baggy and stretch out. Is there a certain detergent(?) I can use to help them go back to there normal tight fitting size? I'll try anything. Thanks! (link)
I've found this basically comes down to the quality of your clothes rather than anything else. Sometimes it's worth spending a litle more money on something so it will last and keep its shape longer. If not, look for garments made with a little elastine in the blend or ones that come with a tailored cut in the design so it doesn't just rely on the quality of fabric to keep the shape.

In the meantime try handwashing some of your more delicate clothes and hanging them to dry or using a hairdryer so they're not bashed around and stretched in the washer/dryer and you can control the shape in which they dry. Especially anything with cashmere. Never machine wash cashmere *shudders*.

Hope this is of some use.


i asked for some advice earlier about my partner who is insecure about our relationship and i got an horrible answer off a women saying no wonder my partner is ashamed of the relationship and that cousins should not be together. should i end it or not i feel terrible? (link)
First cousins are the closest blood relatives permitted to marry in England and i believe the same is true of most American states. This is because the chance of genetic abnormalities arising from breeding within families is pretty low there.

In times gone by it was pretty standard practise to keep property in families and so on but nowadays it is more unusual and has aquired some stigma. Legally it's perfectly fine and if you, your boyfriend and your family don't have a problem with it there's really no reason the rest of the world should give a rats ass either. I am told relationships between cousins are often pretty successful as they obviously come from similar backgrounds and have often been brought up with similar values.

Ignore the mean stranger and do what's best for all of you.

** Had to add a quick irrelevent point: I saw you used "an" rather than "a" before a word beginning with "h" and you single handedly restored my faith in the idea there are other people out there who still care about stupid little grammatical rules like that!


my boyfriend wants to fight with a relative of mine who has a crush on me....REAL CRUSH ON ME..they said that they will have a "till death" fight and i dont know how to stop them...my boyfriend and that guy are really stubbonrn...they may REALLY get one another KILLED...i just need a way to stop them...i am almost 15 and my realtive is 15 and half and my boyfriend is turning 17,thank you (link)
I love the smell of excess testosterone in the morning.

For a start don't worry abuot them "fighting to the death" they sound like hyped up little boys trying to prove themselves to me and I'm sure it won't get far past a few punches and insults before they can go home all pleased with themselves about what big tough men they are.

Even so it's worth asking them what exactly they're hoping to achieve by this as whatever the outcome you will still love your boyfriend and still not be with this relative. Tell them both that you do not want them to do this and if they have any consideration for your feelings they won't. If they still go ahead walk away and have no part of it or if you think it will get really out of hand inform their fathers or even the police, or at least make it clear to them that you are prepared to.

Either way this really has very little to do with you and is more about two little teenage boys trying to mark their territory so don't waste energy feeling bad about it.

If all else fails, let them beat the shit out of each other and refuse to give either one any sympathy or praise for it. It'll blow over quicker than you think


14/f

Ok, before I give you the actual question, I'm going ot give you the background.

Here it goes,
It started yesterday, it was my dad and I, watching Jeapordy, and he was making fun of all the contestants, so I hit him in the arm, but then he hit me back, I don't think he realized how hard he hits, but it's very hard. So I hit him back again, and so on, and so on. But at one point he slapped/hit my leg so hard that it left a huge hand print, and I got so mad. My mom wasn't home at the time, I tried contacting her, but she didn't answer. So I took a picture of the mark. It was ok, after that, seeing how I got out of the house for a couple of hours with my friends.Then he and my brother, came to pick me up, we decided to go rent a movie. After that was over, this is going to sound childish, but we were arguing over who got the front seat. And my dad always takes his side, so I was frustrated, so frustrated, that when I got in the back, I said "I hate you both". My dad went "Hate is an awfuly strong word." Then I went "Fine I loathe you, I despise both of you." And it was a quiet car ride after that. When we got home, I had a serious attitude, and my mom wanted to know why. That's when I showed her the picture of my leg[from earlier]. She got really mad, and started hitting my dad. Since I was just as mad, I went upstairs to cool off, and watch the movie I had chosen. When it was over, I wasn't quite as mad, and we[my brother, dad and I] watched the other movie. That was fine.


But, when I woke up this morning, I woke up an hour late, so I jumped in the shower, and while I was in there, my dad comes in and goes "Your too late, Your too late." I have no idea why, but it irritated me. So I snapped back at him; "I can still take a shower!". After I got out, my mom came in and started telling me, that she was going to leave my dad, that we don't get along, and she's leaving us both behind. She asked if I deserved the hit on the leg. Then she goes that stunt you pulled, really screwwed things up.[Refering to showing her the picture, to get my dad in trouble.] And I wasn't allowed to go, where I had planned on going. So I slept. When I woke up, my dad was leaving for work, and he said "Bye." I said "Bye." And he goes, "I hope your happy." And as I sit here now, I can't help, but believe that I was responsible for my family falling apart. My parents have been otgether since they were 14, and I feel as though I ruined it all. That I was some sort of mistake. And I don't know what to do. Does anyone know how I can fix things? I'm feeling very depressed right now,and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Thanks for anyone who tries. (link)
I'm sorry you're in a situation where your parents are acting incredibly stupid and immaturely. This is not your fault. For goodness sake if this one little arguement and a slightly stroppy teenager can send them over the edge there was nothing holding them together in the first place.

"That stunt you pulled" was for a start not a stunt but simply you informing your mum of something that actually took place between you and your dad. If they have a problem about the incident between them that is not your fault. Your dad did it and your mum was angry about it is all it boils down to and so it's between them. Not to mention if this one tiny thing "really screwed things up" there wasn't much to screw up in the first place and simply serves as a convenient excuse for the reason they're breaking up (a pathetic excuse at that).

Their relationship is their responsibility, not yours and they are most likely blaming you because it's easier than having to admit to faults in themselves. It's incredibly cruel to put all this on their 14 year old daughter and if you can talk to someone you trust about it please do, just to have someone in your life reassure you of what everyone on this site will no doubt tell you- you are not responisble for this and it is not up to you to fix it. Any sane and reasonable adult will be appalled at your parents' behaviour.

It sounds like your parents are unhappy together and although it's hard now they may both end up being better people if they're apart and happy than together and miserable. x


I have minor acne and i wear make-up 2 clean it up.My dad says not 2 wear it but i do any way.All my friends say im so pretty and so do random people. i dont think im so preety.I dont care if my friends think im pretty i want this 1 boy jay to think i am.He only likes this 1 girl jasmine who is hawiin and japaneese and so pretty.Does the acne have any thing 2 do with what he thinks of me???? (link)
I seriously doubt it. My best friend used to have pretty bad acne and has always had to fight blokes off with a stick.

Him thinking you are pretty is also not enough if you're looking for a relationship with this boy. Be his friend and let him get to know you first. Most prefer a nice person to a pretty one. If you can be both, lucky you.


Ok, this past year i have had 2 boyfriends. The first one was really great and I liked him alot. We were really close and i thought he cared about me. Then at one of my bff's b-day party's he was invited and so was my other bff. Well, my other bff and him went to look for the girl that was having the party's softball they lost in the woods. A little later they came out and my friend took me to the side and said he had kissed her. I was REALLY hurt. Then in the same day he broke up with me. This was his excuse:" I got my 1st cousin pregnant." Then, later on I found out it was a lie.
The second boyfriend I had was really close to me too. Then, he stopped returning my calls and all my friends were saying he was cheating on me. My bff(the girl the 1st guy kissed) said he had been calling her all the time. She also said she would talk to him for hours at a time. So, it really hurt me that she was doing this to me and rubbing it in my face. I don't wanna lose her as a friend, but why can't i hold on to a guy.....? (link)
1) welcome to the dating game- first lesson is that many guys are jerks and will follow their dicks rather than a sense of loyalty or decency. There are ones that won't. Seek them out.

2) Nice friend you have there. If she didn't give #1 a slap and spend at least some of those hours of conversation with #2 asking him why he was treating you so badly I'm gona go ahead and assume that she doesn't really care about your feelings or interests and probably enjoys this attention. Not necessarily because she's just an evil person but because it gives her validation that a guy is picking her over someone else (you). Even so, you don't need friends who aren't willing to fight your corner. Talk to her about the fact you'd like a little more support from her if and when someone hurts you rather than having to stand back and watch her move in on them. If she doesn't get it you need to have a think about this friendship and whether you really want to feel in competition with and threatened by her all the time.

I'm guessing you're fairly young and guys tend to be a bit like this in their teens (and hell, out of them too) but the fact these two couldn't stay loyal to you and were even too pathetic to tell you is not your fault- that's their own weakness. Just concentrate on finding a someone genuine who likes you for you and you won't have to worry about this friend of yours taking him away- she won't be able to.


do you think getting fingered or giving a handjob is to slutty for a 13 yr old? thanks♥ (link)
It really doesn't matter whether people want to call you slutty or not. What matters is how comfortable you are with it and whether or not you're ready. As a benchmark I wouldn't advise doing either of these things lightly at your age (or any age for that matter) and certainly not with multiple guys for the simple reason it will most likely give you low self esteem, particularly if guys your age start thinking they can just get what they want from you and nothing else.

If in any doubt don't do it.


Ok, so my best friend is with her second boyfriend ever. The first one only lasted a couple weeks and it wasn't really serious. She has been with the one she's with now since December. Well, they are wicked, wicked serious about each other and I've come to accept that and even be happy for her because she's finally happy again. But this has kinda started to get too far. Her boyfriend asked her to marry him when they become of age and she pretty much said yes. I guess I'm kinda concerned that she's throwing her life away over her second boyfriend. But the major problem with me comes from the age. I'm only 14/f, she's same as me, and he's 15/m. It freaks out alotof our friends because true love at this age is so rare. Do I talk to her or just stay out of it? Am I just jealous? (link)
To be honest I'd leave it. Pound to penny they won't do it anyway- 2 years (4 without their parents' consent) is a long time and they'll most likely either end or grow mature enough to make a sensible decision by that time. So for now don't wax lyrical about it but don't criticise either- it'll just make her more determined to prove everybody wrong and so make her reluctant to break up with him if things do start to go wrong.

On the other hand, who knows? Maybe it's meant to be, but again I think you'll all be more comfortable if they still feel this way a few years down the line as it'll show they're really good together and might make it.

Possibly there's a little bit of jealousy on your part but I think you have genuine concerns about your friend. Just sleep easy in the knowledge that what they're talking about doing is impossible right now and they've plenty of time to figure things out for themselves. x




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