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Family Matters. Am I responsible?
14/f
Ok, before I give you the actual question, I'm going ot give you the background.
Here it goes,
It started yesterday, it was my dad and I, watching Jeapordy, and he was making fun of all the contestants, so I hit him in the arm, but then he hit me back, I don't think he realized how hard he hits, but it's very hard. So I hit him back again, and so on, and so on. But at one point he slapped/hit my leg so hard that it left a huge hand print, and I got so mad. My mom wasn't home at the time, I tried contacting her, but she didn't answer. So I took a picture of the mark. It was ok, after that, seeing how I got out of the house for a couple of hours with my friends.Then he and my brother, came to pick me up, we decided to go rent a movie. After that was over, this is going to sound childish, but we were arguing over who got the front seat. And my dad always takes his side, so I was frustrated, so frustrated, that when I got in the back, I said "I hate you both". My dad went "Hate is an awfuly strong word." Then I went "Fine I loathe you, I despise both of you." And it was a quiet car ride after that. When we got home, I had a serious attitude, and my mom wanted to know why. That's when I showed her the picture of my leg[from earlier]. She got really mad, and started hitting my dad. Since I was just as mad, I went upstairs to cool off, and watch the movie I had chosen. When it was over, I wasn't quite as mad, and we[my brother, dad and I] watched the other movie. That was fine.
But, when I woke up this morning, I woke up an hour late, so I jumped in the shower, and while I was in there, my dad comes in and goes "Your too late, Your too late." I have no idea why, but it irritated me. So I snapped back at him; "I can still take a shower!". After I got out, my mom came in and started telling me, that she was going to leave my dad, that we don't get along, and she's leaving us both behind. She asked if I deserved the hit on the leg. Then she goes that stunt you pulled, really screwwed things up.[Refering to showing her the picture, to get my dad in trouble.] And I wasn't allowed to go, where I had planned on going. So I slept. When I woke up, my dad was leaving for work, and he said "Bye." I said "Bye." And he goes, "I hope your happy." And as I sit here now, I can't help, but believe that I was responsible for my family falling apart. My parents have been otgether since they were 14, and I feel as though I ruined it all. That I was some sort of mistake. And I don't know what to do. Does anyone know how I can fix things? I'm feeling very depressed right now,and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Thanks for anyone who tries.
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well get your parents say sorry to your dad for getting him in trouble and say sorry to your mom for dradding her into it tell them you dont want them to split that with out your parents you would be a nobody!
abercrombie13
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I think that if they really loved each other and everything was fine until the picture thing then they wouldn't let that come between them. Your parents were probably just using it as an excuse to hide their problems. Just tell your mom that what you did just came out of anger and that you probably deserved it for hitting him first.
i really hope this helps if you ever need to talk or have questions just IM me on AIM my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE
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It's not your fault. Tell your mother that you, and your dad were just goofing around, and that you would fall apart if anything happened between your mother and your father. Let her know how much it means to you to that your family doesn't get split up. Taake the time to let her know how you feel. Hope I helped.
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I'm really sorry.
No, It is not your fault. Your parents (from what it sounds like) were ALREADY having problems.
If I were you, I would go talk to a school counselor, grandparents, aunt, uncle, or a close friend about everything.
If you really want them to get back together, apologize to them about everything.
Say, "Mom..Dad? I'm sorry for everything. I don't want you to split up. When I showed mom the picture, I was mad and I wasn't thinking. I'm really sorry. Mom, please don't leave. I'll do anything to make it up to you and to show you both how sorry I am."
Good luck!
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I'm just gunna be honest here: Who's 14 and who's the parents? Your parents act even more childish than you do. Your father shouldn't have hit you on the leg or anywhere else for that matter over a dumb Jeopardy argument. Plus, the whole frontseat thing, shower, I just don't get it. Your parents probably had some other issues and this just pushed them over the line. You acted immaturely,too, when you didn't talk to your dad about how much he really hurt you. You just stewed about it for hours and then took a picture of it. You didn't break up your parent's marriage, there were other issues here. I can accuse you, you're only 14, your parents have no excuse.
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First of all I am sorry about your parents divorce is a hard thing to deal with at any age.
Looking at this from the perspective of an adult your parents are dead wrong to accuse you or blame you for this. They obviously had problems before and to blame you they are obviously both trying to avoid responsibility.
You need to tell them that its unfair to blame you and that maybe they should try being the parents and letting you be the kid.
Hope this helps
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fuck that hell no
parents are dumb and are childish and blame things on other people instead of taking responsibility for their actions
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Personally i think the easiest to fix this is to apologize to your mom and dad for trying to get him in trouble
But really its not your fault if you mom and dad can split up because of something like this they arent really that close are they? If they can really split up because of this then they are better off apart. Just remember its not your fault.
~DarkChocolate794~
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I'm sorry you're in a situation where your parents are acting incredibly stupid and immaturely. This is not your fault. For goodness sake if this one little arguement and a slightly stroppy teenager can send them over the edge there was nothing holding them together in the first place.
"That stunt you pulled" was for a start not a stunt but simply you informing your mum of something that actually took place between you and your dad. If they have a problem about the incident between them that is not your fault. Your dad did it and your mum was angry about it is all it boils down to and so it's between them. Not to mention if this one tiny thing "really screwed things up" there wasn't much to screw up in the first place and simply serves as a convenient excuse for the reason they're breaking up (a pathetic excuse at that).
Their relationship is their responsibility, not yours and they are most likely blaming you because it's easier than having to admit to faults in themselves. It's incredibly cruel to put all this on their 14 year old daughter and if you can talk to someone you trust about it please do, just to have someone in your life reassure you of what everyone on this site will no doubt tell you- you are not responisble for this and it is not up to you to fix it. Any sane and reasonable adult will be appalled at your parents' behaviour.
It sounds like your parents are unhappy together and although it's hard now they may both end up being better people if they're apart and happy than together and miserable. x
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Oh, I feel so bad for you. Not only are your parents considering a separation but they are actually having the nerve to blame you for it!!
Let me tell you something, if they can honestly blame that little incident for their separation, there were quite clearly huge rifts between them in the first place.
I know you're upset right now and worried that this is all somehow your fault. It isn't and I really hope that you will understand that in the long run. Let's face it, if you are madly in love with someone, finding out that they got in a fight with your child in which they (hopefully) accidentally hit a bit too hard wouldn't be enough to split the whole relationship in half.
I really think you need to speak to your parents about this. I would suggest whichever parent you get on with best but bearing in mind it was your Mother who first basically told you it was because of you, I would recommend speaking to her first and just ask her if it really was your fault. Wait until things have calmed down a little before you ask because in the heat of the moment, people can say things they don't mean.
Whatever happens, please don't let them make you feel guilty over this. You might have upset your Mother by letting her know your Father had hit you too hard but that alone would NEVER be the only reason for a happily married couple to separate.
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First,I'm terribly sorry this happend. But don't be down, I promise you everything will be ok. My parents get in fights all the time, and my mom will say she wants a divorce, and she'll say how much she hates him. But Everything turns out fine in a couple of days. But you should really talk to your parents. Sit them both down and tell them that your really sorry for what happened. Let them know how much you love them, and remind them how much they love each other. Also with your dad hitting you, I don't know if you both were just playing around, or really hitting each other with anger. But if you guys were just kidding around, I would point that out to your mom, so that she isn't too upset with your dad. I hope I have helped, and I hope everything goes ok with your family. Good luck! ^_^
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I don't think this is at all your fault. If your mom is leaving you behind, and is blaming it on you showing her that picture, it sounds like something has been going on between your parents for awhile that maybe you werent aware of, and that she was just possibly looking for the next outlet as her cue to leave. If your parents are truely seperating because of a something so simple then I think they are the ones with the issue. I still don't believe this isn't even close to being your fault. Maybe if you get an opportunity to be alone with your dad try telling him that you weren't sure if he was intentionally trying to hurt you or not, but that it did infact hurt you. You shouldn't apologize for anything, you did nothing. And as for your mom, try telling her the same as you told your dad and that you only wanted to show the picture as proof, not to cause any kind of fight. Don't worry, try talking to both of them and give it time... maybe things will resolve themselves.
Good luck.
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