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August 4, 2004

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November 21, 2004

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about

I'm just some girl. I don't really stand out much unless I'm on a stage. I'm not loud unless I get angry. And I don't love unless its proven to me first. I've been hurt almost beyond repair by people I've loved and trusted. But I can only grow from that. I live my life by my own accord. I love my parents more than anything, they have given me an amazing home to grow up in, someplace I want to come back to. I have a boyfriend who has been my best friend for a long time, he's helped me get through a lot. We've been each other's rock when times got hard.

I have my dreams and aspirations, and while some may not come true... the most important things is to know I've tried my hardest. I trust my intuition more than I trust any living person. My gut has never failed me, but unfortunately, I have failed it.

Someone once told me that I don't live in the "real world", that I live in a box - fortunately for that person, they never lived my life. My life is real to me, and me alone. I've been through a lot... I've been hurt, I've laughed.. I've seen life, and death... tears of sadness and tears of joy. I've felt every emotion known to man. Hatred, Love, Sadness, Joy, Ultimate Bliss, Anger.. So don't judge me until you actually get to know me. There's more to me than just about anyone knows. Even my closest of friends.

I'm the "Dear Abby" of all of my friends.

advice

OK, I met this guy at the mall and we got to know eachother. He calls me almost everyday and we flirt ALL the time. The thing is, he already has a girlfriend. I think he likes me and all but i don't want him to break up with her for me but i REALLY like him. What should i do?!?! PLease help me!!!

Ok, since he does have a girlfriend, I think that you should respect that territory, and make some space between you and him. I understand you flirt on the phone a lot, but maybe you shouldn't talk on the phone so much. His girlfriend probably has no idea who you are, or even that her boyfriend is talking to another girl. Tell him about this, and if he pushes anything or says not to worry about it. Go from there. I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, its just that these situations can get worse before the get better, if they even do. You don't want to get yourself caught up in something that could cause you a lot of problems later. You may like him a lot, but try to distance yourself from him. This will be healthier for you, and you can maybe get yourself to know other people.

I hope I helped. I apologize again if I offended you, though. Hang in there. If you have any more questions or something, please feel free to ask.

Um, I like having sex, I'm not going to lie. But the last time I did, the guy I did it with kind of... made me have anal sex with him. And I tried to say it hurt but he didn't stop. I said it loud but when I told him afterwards, he said he didn't hear me. I cried afterwards b/c it hurt so bad. Is it my fault? I didn't want to do it... I feel gross. What do you think?

xoxo Alyssa*

I hate to say this, however, if you told him to stop and he didn't, then that is considered to be rape. He didn't listen to your words and you telling him not to... I do not think this is your fault, because you were just trying something new, but you didn't want to go ahead with it. You made your own decision, and well, so did he. I suggest if you truly need to get this out and it is bothering you this much, talk to an adult or a counselor about this.

I hope I helped. Good luck, hunni.

i've had a best friend for 3 yearz and we both got caught lying and sneaking out and my parents grounded me from ever seeing her agen..im not allowed to hang out wid her AT ALL forver.i really lost their trust wid me and my best friend. but the thing is shes the only one i talk to in this town dat relle cares about me. and i told my parents dat but they dont care no matter what i sai.dey tell me to find another best friend but i cant bc i only want her and im not going to find another best friend this quick. i cant just forget 3 years of friendship. please help on what could i do. i rate good.

Alright, this may be a long answer back, but I don't know. We'll see. Here goes: Your parents are looking out for you. With you going out and sneaking around with this friend, you breached their trust. As well as your friends. They probably see this friend as a bad influence, which is understandable. You need to give your parents some time to cool down, MEANING you need to respect their words and NOT try contacting this friend of yours and keep yourself out of trouble. For the time being, keep yourself occupied AND always let your parents know where you will be at all times. The only way to build up your parents trust again is to let them know you learned from your mistakes and that you are mature enough to take responsibility for your actions. Don't argue with your parents and have an anxiety attack, because realistically, your parents have the final word in what goes on in your life. For now, stay away from your "friend" and focus your life elsewhere. When you go to back to school, start to talk to other people. Get to know different people. This girl can't be the ONLY person there is to like where you live. Sometimes you just have to give other people a chance.

Hang in there, and good luck. I hope I helped. If you have any more questions, PLEASE feel free to ask. I always answer back.

i recently found out that my friend was a lesbian ..she denies it but i read the notes she sent to her girlfriend.. what do i do? when people ask me i defend her.. but im not sure if its really true. please help

First of all, why were you reading her notes that she sent to her girlfriend? If she doesn't know that you read them, you should fess up and let her know, because that is a huge breach of trust in a friendship. Secondly, if your friend is truly a lesbian, let her get herself used to being this way. This may be new to her. Do not push her into telling you if she is or not, because that will only push her away from you. She most likely does not want people to know yet, so let her come out at her own pace. Respect your friends privacy and her wishes... AND be honest with her. I'm sorry if I seemed to lecture you at all, but I've had people read through my personal belongings, so it hit a tiny nerve.

The best piece of advice I can give you though is to be supportive for your friend through everything. No matter what, she is your friend, so let her know you are always there for her.

I am in drama class this year. i was wondering anybody know or site of famuse past and shakepears sites.. and stuf f do with memories lines and having different vocies

If you go into Google and type in a search for Shakespeare or drama techniques, you should come up with a very large amount of useful sites.

ok this gurl is botherin me shes my bffs friend she hates me (KATIE, bffs friend) but my bff always says katie hates me and crap like that it really botherin me!!!!i need help!!!

Go right up to Katie and ask her how she feels. That is the only way you will know for sure.

Good luck!

how do i get a girl friend

Be yourself and be confident. Don't put on a fake personality to impress someone! Go right up to the girls you are interested in and say hello. Thats always a good way to build up a friendship first, and then you can work on turning it into a relationship! Good luck! I hope I helped! If you need ANYTHING else, feel free to ask. =)

I'm 14/f, and my best guy friend is really awesome, so awesome infact that I actually like him as more than a friend. The problem is, I liked him before too and I told him then and he (atleast then) liked someone else. I really like him, but I don't want to ruin our friendship!

Oooo, I've been in this situation too! It is such a difficult position to be in. But I ended up telling my guy friend that I liked him, nothing came out of it, but it just felt good to be open about it. If you feel comfortable enough to tell your friend, then I say go for it. Who knows? Maybe he could like you back. =) Good luck, hun. Whatever you do, keep you and his friendship strong. Friendship should always be first, and relationship should come second. I hope I helped. If you have any more questions, feel free to leave them for me!!! MWAH

hey i am 14/f i reli need sum help with dis i hav dis friend n she tells me everything n we ben thro quite a bit i was always therre for her wen shtuff happened n i always helped her out tha problem is dat weneva i hav shtuff goin on dat i need 2 tlk bout she never listens lyk i start sayin sumthin n she'll cut me off n start tlkn bout herself or i want 2 tell her a funni stori but she interupts me in mai first sentence n starts sayin sumthin bout melissa(one of her reli good friends) i dunt wana confront her bout it cuz i kno dat she will get reli mad cuz she always tells me dat she is therre for me but in reality she isnt PLEASE HELP thank u sooooo much

* aLiCiA *

I have been in this situation so many times before, and it REALLY sucks. What I think you should try to do first is talk to your friend. Tell her how you feel, and let her know she isn't being a true friend because true friends give time to EACH OTHER, not just in a selfish one-way direction. Unfortunately, if she doesn't change, I'd say its time you found another friend who is there for YOU also.

Hang in there and good luck. I hope I helped in some way. If you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask.

Here's the deal, I hate school so much! I do really well, but I just hate it? Any suggestions?

Stick it through. School eventually ends. AND once you graduate from high school, you go to college. I am a senior this year, and I KNOW that college is so much different than high school. Just finish everything out. Its worth it. =)

I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple months and I very much enjoy kissing him. The problem is, he always makes the first move. Out of all of my boyfriends, I've never made any first moves or anything. I want to just try something new and make my boyfriend realize I'm spontaneous, sexy and not shy. Any kissing techniques I could use on him? I really don't want to come off like I'm trying too hard, but I need help to get over this shy thing I have with my own boyfriend!

When you two hang out or you are out on a date... just randomly and when its least expected, grab him by the shoulders and kiss him. Guys LOVE a spontaneous girl. Or just randomly start running your fingernails on his neck or something. Anything random you do will make your boyfriend realize how sexy and spontaneous you are. Go for it, hunni!

I hope I helped. Good luck! If you have any more questions, feel free to leave them for me.

I'm going to be a freshman this year, and last year i fell in love with a guy who isn't going to my highschool, but i won't go into details about that. anyway, i don't want a bf this year at all like ever ever ever, but like i don't want guys to think i'm mean or anything, and i don't want to hurt anyones feelings. can i just say no with out guys getting all pi$$ed off?

Of course. They made not be happy, but there are defintely ways to make guys less upset in the long run. You can tell them that you aren't looking for a relationship right now, or that you are getting over a past relationship. Which neither of those are lies (at least from the story you gave.) So try to think of ways to let the guys who ask you out know that you aren't against them... you're just not into having a boyfriend right now.

I hope I helped. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them. Good luck.

if you like a girl and she is goin out with someone what should i do

I think you should wait out THEIR relationship... and build up a friendship with her. But don't come on strong. Just make her know you are there as a friend for her. And then maybe eventually, one day you can pursue something (when she DOESN'T have a boyfriend)... hehe... because it would be wrong to pressure her into something..

I hope I helped! GOOD LUCK!!!!

My Friend Lied to me telling me he got suspended for acting "pimp" and i knew that u cant get suspended for acting like that. But i had found out by a nother friend that he brought a knife to school. It totally shocked me and i started to cry because wat friend could do that. I'm still mad and frusterated. Now he may be suspended 4 good. im still mad for it should he still be my friend?? Should i trust him??? and I*m mad cuz wat was he gunna do wit da knife!
PLEASE ANSWER IMMEDIATLY!!

That was really... well, for lack of a better word, it was really stupid of him to bring a knife to school. And honestly, you have every right to be worried, and not to trust him. As for the not knowing why he brought the knife to school... there could be multiple reasons, from he was just trying to impress someone to the higher extreme of he wanted to use it... The ONLY way you can find out the true reason is if you ask him... and I suggest you do that.

Good luck, hun. Hang in there. He will be punished for his mistakes... I hope I helped in some way

well i think i might be anerexic. im 5'4 and 93 pounds and i know that doesnt sound like alot but i really think im fat. all my friends say im so skinny but i think they are just trying to b nice... but it all fits the description of being anerexic. help what should i do

You are right, the way you are thinking emotionally and your weight point towards anorexic. The positive about this situation is that you are aware of it. Now that you are aware of what is going on, I think that you should make an appointment to see your doctor immediately. He/She can help you get through this phase of where you think you are fat, when truly, you are not. Do not hesitate to tell your doctor EVERYTHING you feel. If it would be easier, start writing in a separate journal about how you feel and what you think of your body and your weight, this way, when you do go to your doctor, you can bring the journal with you and the doctor can read your writing. This is sometimes a lot easier to do than speaking your feelings out loud.

Good luck, hun. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them. Hang in there, and keep your head up.

I'm 15 n me n my boyfriend are in love, we've been together for a long time n we have been through everything together. We feel like we're ready to have a baby i just dont kno what people would think n stuff, if we feel liek we're ready should we proceed with it or not? helppp..

I believe that if you and your boyfriend feel truly ready to have a baby right now, then you should STILL feel ready to have a baby after you graduate from high school. The graduating situation is more ideal for many reasons, because 1) you won't have to worry about who will take care of the baby while you are at school 2) you can truly see if your relationship will outlast high school 3) you can make the choice to further your education and again wait to have a baby 4) you can make a life for yourself and build up enough of a substantial background to bring a child up in.

Once you accomplish all of this, only then do I personally thing you should have a baby with your boyfriend. At the age of 15, I believe that you should focus on your education, that way any future children you have, you can focus on them and making their lives as promising as you can.

I apologize if I have offended or confused you at all. I hope I helped in some parts. I know you probably don't want to hear that most high school relationships don't last, however, I think that if you put your relationship to the test and make SURE its sturdy and that it will last your entire lifetime, then you can make your decision. I hope I helped. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask, hun. Good luck.

I'm the one who asked the questions about the livejournal. My username is lildncr3535

thanks hun

my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now.. this year im going to be a senior in high school, and he's going into his sophomore year of college. he plays basketball, so sometimes during the season it is hard for us to be together. we made it through last year, but i just feel like im not really up to make it through this year. he lives like 20 minutes away down in the dorms. i really love him and dont want to break up, but what else can i do? i need attention haha... i feel selfish, but no.. im really just used to having him around whenever i need him. any tips, thoughts, suggestions?

I think that if you two care about each other as much as I believe you do, then I think that you should try your hardest to stay together. Set aside at least 1 day each week where you can just go out to the movies or go out to eat, or just spend the day together (or night.) Make sure that you try to go to his basketball games, that way you can be in the stands cheering him on. This will also help build up your relationship because he will know you care about what he does. You aren't being selfish. You have your own personal needs, everyone does. Things like this take adjusting, and you just need to have faith in your relationship and patience that things will turn out right in time.

Good luck, hun. If you have anymore questions, please feel free to leave them for me. I hope I helped.

Hey I really like the layout for your livejournal. I have a couple of questions for you. 1)How do you change what it says in the title bar? I have a code for it, but it won't work for some reason. 2) How do you change what it says in the area where you have "Don't try to resist fate, because fate will only push harder."
3) Did your picture that you have in the left hand side come that size or did you resize it? Ihave a background image on the left hand side but it's so small, and I want it to take up the whole side. How do I enlarge it?

Hey! This is an awesome question (or group of questions.. hehe) And good for you that I have all of the answers. Ok I will stop being a dork now and I will answer...

1) Go into your Edit Personal Information setting, and scroll down on the screen until you see Livejournal Options, and where it says "Journal Title" is where you fill in what you want in your top bar.
2) The same as answer 1.
3) I had to resize my picture before I put it into the side of my journal because it wouldn't have fit otherwise. The program I use to resize it is Paint. Just the normal one that comes on every computer. You take your picture that you want to put in your background and paste it onto the screen. Then you click on the tab that says "image" and then go and click on "stretch and skew" Once this screen pops up, you change BOTH of the percentages to the SAME perfect (so that the picture doesn't get all screwed up looking.) If you want to make a picture smaller, then you make the origional percentage (which is 100%) into something smaller. (for example from 100% to 75%) And if you want to make the picture bigger, then you add onto the 100%.

I hope this helped... What is your livejournal address? If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

Heyeveryone, i really need some help!! ok, well, i did something stupid about a month ago..i talked to some guy online and gave him my picture..and i have a boyfriend that i really love. I guess why i talked to that guy was because he asked me about my boyfriend. And my boyfriend is moving to oregon and so i kinda opened up and talked to that guy about my b/f. now, my b/f found that convo and was really scared about our relationship. He said he trusted me 100% but now, he says only like 50%. Im so0o upset i've told him i'll never do that again..but he dont believe me..he's in oregon and we are doing long dist. How can i make him trust me more?! I really love him with all my heart and I want to make it work out. Any advice on my situation?! PLEASE HELP!!! ~manda~

My angel is away and we're on an open- long distance relationship right now. Which means, we are allowed to date other people but we are still emotionally together. There are temptations everywhere, take this from someone who knows, however, you can channel yourself to focus on other things. You make love your boyfriend (as I do love mine,) but remember, if you have feelings for someone else too, be honest to yourself and take the time to figure out everything in your head. If you want your boyfriend to trust you, explain to him the motives behind the conversation you had with the guy that you met online. Tell him how you TRULY feel. Sometimes the truth hurts, and other times it helps.. whichever the direction, be honest.

I hope I helped. Hang in there. If you have any other questions, please feel free to leave me a message and I will help you as best I can.

Another word of advice: Sometimes a stranger is an easier person to talk to, however, make sure you aren't giving away TOO much information that he can hurt you with later on.

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