about

I'm just some girl. I don't really stand out much unless I'm on a stage. I'm not loud unless I get angry. And I don't love unless its proven to me first. I've been hurt almost beyond repair by people I've loved and trusted. But I can only grow from that. I live my life by my own accord. I love my parents more than anything, they have given me an amazing home to grow up in, someplace I want to come back to. I have a boyfriend who has been my best friend for a long time, he's helped me get through a lot. We've been each other's rock when times got hard.

I have my dreams and aspirations, and while some may not come true... the most important things is to know I've tried my hardest. I trust my intuition more than I trust any living person. My gut has never failed me, but unfortunately, I have failed it.

Someone once told me that I don't live in the "real world", that I live in a box - fortunately for that person, they never lived my life. My life is real to me, and me alone. I've been through a lot... I've been hurt, I've laughed.. I've seen life, and death... tears of sadness and tears of joy. I've felt every emotion known to man. Hatred, Love, Sadness, Joy, Ultimate Bliss, Anger.. So don't judge me until you actually get to know me. There's more to me than just about anyone knows. Even my closest of friends.

I'm the "Dear Abby" of all of my friends.

advice

my best friend is popular and all of these guys like her and shes really pretty and has alot of friends and is really outgoing and is a really good dancer so sometimes i cant help being jealous of her. i want to be more like her but i cant. like i want to be more outgoing and be a better dancer and stuff. what should i do?

I say... be yourself. Your best friend is unique in the fact that she is herself. There is only one "her" in this world, and likewise, there is only one "you" in this world. Be who you are, and keep your chin up high. Confidence comes with being outgoing, and if you are jealous of your friend and want to be like her, your confidence won't be high. Be proud of who you are, and step right into the action and say 'hello' to people. That's the first step to making friends. Find a hobbie or something that doesn't involve your best friend, that way you will have a separate group who you feel comfortable around. Try not to compare yourself to your best friend. Pick out your own positive assets that your friend does not have. Be proud of yourself.

I hope I helped. Hang in there. Feel free to leave me anymore messages if you need help with anything else. I'm always here to talk to.

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I'm and 18 year old female,not a newbie to having sex, about 3 diff partners including my current boyfriend... thing is, whenever I have sex, no matter who it is or what position (guy or girl-I'm bi) I just get nothing from it. Not even the beginnings of an orgasm. I do okay on my own, I'm satisfied anyway, but when it comes to sex I have to fake it since I just can't get there. It feels good, and I enjoy the act just no climax ya?

Anything I can do about this?

Hmm, this is a tough question to answer. Have you tried to do it with a vibrator or something along those lines? That could possibly help you. If that doesn't work for you either, then maybe the girl or guys you are with just aren't hitting the right spots inside you to make you climax. Its harder on a female body to hit those spots because unlike a guy, they're on the inside. And our bodies are all different from each other, so out spots are in different places. If this really starts to bother you, maybe you could talk to your GYN or someone about it. They would probably at least know WHY this is happening.

I hope everything works out and you are able to find a way to reach your climax. Try everything you can, objects, positions, etc. etc. I hope I helped in some way.

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Hi, I've been best friends with a girl since I was 3 years old and I moved away awile later but we stayed in touch pretty good. Now I am in college and we are talking every day on Messenger. I am 18 and she is 2 months younger than me. This is the first time that I have had extra feelings for her and I think I am falling in love. I'm not sure if she is feeling the same way as I am but she is sending out signals that I can't tell if she's talking to me as a friend or as a potential boyfriend. I would really like something to happen and she is coming down to the same college as I am going to next year. I'm confused on whether I should tell her now how I feel or wait. I also dont know if she would freak out or tell me she only sees me as a friend. I sort of dont want to tell her now because I dont want her to have to worry about a long term relationship or have a crappy senior year because of me. What do you think I would do? Would you freak out if you put yourself in her shoes and I told you? Sorry its so long but thank you.

Confused

Hey Confused.
I think that you're in a tough situation, but not altogether impossible to solve. You say you have been friends for a very long time, so maybe she is feelings something for you also. Time can only tell. I think that you should wait a bit to tell her how you feel. You can lay subtle hints to her, however, don't come right out and tell her yet. She may be falling for you, but at the moment she could be confused about things - in the same way that you are. It may scare her to know that you feel strongly for her, because you have been friends for so long. Turning friendship into a relationship is hard because (as I know personally) at times you start to fear that you won't have that friendship if things don't work out. With all the stressed of senior year also, she may need a friend by her side for it. Let time run its course and watch for more signals of how she feels. Once you are almost positive that she feels for you what you do for her, then tell her.

I hope somehow I helped you. Keep in touch and let me know how things go, ok? Feel free to drop me a message if you have any more questions.

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Hi SammyPie!

First of all I would like to say that the advise you give people seems really helpful. You definitely have talent. I have a few problems in my life at the moment that I would like to confide with you. However, I would not like other people to find out about it. I am a very "private" person. Is there any way that I could give you my e-mail address and we could talk that way?

p.s- my e-mail address is princessana2789@aol.com

p.p.s- i'm not as petty as i sound...lol

all sent

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I recently got into a "fight" with my BEST friend, and my other closest friend. my best friend and I seemed to have gotten it worked out, but my other friend seems ot hate me. both of them ALWAYS hang out now, without inviting me or anything. And before the "fight", we used to do almost everything together. Its really hurting me...what should I do? (ive talked to my best friend already, but now she seems mad..)

I do believe that you're in a tight situation. However, its not an uncommon one among people our age. People eventually start to grow apart, its just a fact of life, and its a sucky fact at that. But we all have to make sacrifices and choices that will ultimately improve our lives. Your friend seems to be immature if she refuses to acknowledge you now. I think that you need to take a breather from these so-called friends and spend time with other people in your life. You deserve to be happy, and these people don't make you happy.

I hope I helped in some way. Keep your head up high. Stay in touch, hun.

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im the girl that asked the ? about her boyfriend being clingy, and weather or not i should break up with him. i read your advice, and it was so helpful! it was great to see that i wasnt the only one in that situation, and that someone could help me! thank you so much! i just wanted to let you kno, that i broke up with him today, and he took it pretty well. im so happy i did, and that we can still be friends! thanks so much again! im so glad i decided to ask for advice!

I'm so glad that my advice worked for you! I'm smiling over here. I love to help people. Whenever you need ANYTHING, feel free to ask me, ok? I'm always here to listen or to advise. I may not always have any answers, but I always try to do my best. Always remember, though, don't just think with your heart or your brain alone, let them both agree. Once they do, your decision will be the right one.

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i have been going out w/ my bf for like 2 weeks now. he always tells me how much he loves me and how we should stay together forever, and its really starting to bug me! i feel bad, but everytime the phone rings i dread that its him and im going to have to talk to him! i want to break up with him, but he just bought me this really expensive necklace, after i told him not to. i still want to break up with him though, im not happy with him at all anymore and its not fair to either of us. he goes to another school too. im 14 if that helps. what should i say to him? thanks!

alright, i have to say i've sort of been in your situation before. i dated my best friend for a short period of time, and then he started to get very clingy. and yes, we'd both talk about our future, but then it got to the point where I felt like I was put too far on a pedestal and I didn't want to be there anymore. He bought me something really expensive for my birthday, but I wouldn't accept it... and I also told him I didn't want to stay in the relationship. It was something I needed to do for myself.

If you feel the way that I did, my suggestion is to take a break from him. He's getting very clingy very fast, and you're 14. This is too early for anyone to be planning the future. Hang in there hun. Do NOT worry about how he feels if you need to break up with him... do it for yourself. Respect yourself and your emotions. And... if the necklace bothers you, give it back to him.

Hang in there, and PLEASE keep me updated. Good luck hun. Feel free to leave me any messages. Mwah

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hey i was reading your cloumn and i needed suim advice .. ok so here it is .. i havea friend who always lies to me and she treats me like crap and im so fed up with it. then a couple months ago she lied to me sayin we couldnt hang out cuz she got grounded and she did the same exact thing last nite. i was about ready to have a breakdown and cry. i am so confused and i dont know what to do. i love her to death but i dont kno if i should just forget about her and move on .. or should i confront her about it. but the thing is that its happened twice and im scared it will happen again she has no idea how much she hurts me when she treats me this way. please help me i dont know what to do.

You're in a tough situation. Frankly, what you're going through sucks. You don't deserve to be lied to. If this girl was truly your friend, then she wouldn't feel the need to lie to you. Before you label her as "not a friend" I think you should talk to her, let her know everything you feel and why you feel that you're being betrayed. If she still proceeds to treat you so badly, I suggest you find a new friend. As horrible as that sounds, it may be the truth. There are far more deserving people out there of your company. Good luck, hun. I hope everything works out for you.

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this kid ik whos a yr younger than me and lives in my bfs neighborhood told me that this grl my bf went out with a few times before was talkin about me to him (to my friend..not my bf) and said that she hated me or something. iv never met her..iv met a few of my bfs friends and im confsued becuz i talked to this girl that was one of his friends on the phone one time and i guess it was her but i thot it was someone else and this prob sounds weird and everything but i just feel confused cuz 1. i didnt say anything 2. i feel like he could still like her or she likes him or something and i guess i get too jealous but i still dunno my friend couldve been wrong and this sint even a prob i just keep reminding myself about it

Hmm... Ok, I got a little confused by what you wrote, but I will try to take a stab and give you advice from what I understood. I have this firm belief that most girls are REALLY petty. I've come to this conclusion because I've witnessed girls fighting over guys, and stopping friendships because one girl goes out with the other girls crush... And they throw around the word hate so easily. It seems alot easier for girls to go behind each others backs and talk trash about everyone, and I've witnessed that too. This is what seems to be the case with your situation. Unfortunately, this girl will probably always remain inconsiderate to you, so I suggest that you just ignore what is going on. She isn't worth your time. Her words may make you angry since she doesn't know you, but ignoring them is better than causing the situation to be larger than it needs to be.

Hang in there. Don't stoop down to her level. And remember, jealousy is a normal emotion, and it will attack at any time, so don't fight it. lol. I hope I helped in some way. Feel free to drop me a message if you need to.

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when i made out with my bestfriend and my boyfriends cousin ....i asked him the today why he did it and he said "i dont know" and it was after school but like everyone was around and we were leavin so we werent around any of our friends sooo does that mean he wont give me the real answer til were alone again or am i supposed to believe that he dosent kno why he was holdin my hands and cuddling and kissin me?

please help im really confused!!

I personally think that this guy probably doesn't want anyone to know what happened. For some reason this situation aggrivated me, because it hits a little close to home. I think that if he truly cares or something, then he'd do it all in public, or feel comfortable enough to let you know how he feels in front of other people. There is a slight possibility that he isn't fully sure how he feels about you, however, I think you need to ask him more direct questions, such as; What do you feel for me? and What made you kiss me? and Was it just a hook-up or could it turn into more?

This is all stuff you should think about also. What does this stuff mean to you?

I hope I helped in some way. Hang in there and good luck. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask them.

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Hey guys..I am not really sure how to put eye liner on..I know that might sound pathetic, but I don't! Lol, and if it helps I have light blue eyes, and long eye lashes..but yah. Thanks much! M u a H s z - Katie

You do not sound pathetic at all. I promise you that. Some people have problems with certain things, and yours happens to be eyeliner (thats better than having trouble tying your shoes.) *smiles* I put eyeliner on my bottom lid only, because I think if its on both, then it looks over done. You just outline your eyelid, right against your lash line so it blends in. And if it still looks too heavy, then take your finger and smudge it a little. This makes your eyes look more naturally enhanced.

I hope I helped.

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i have a problem with 2 guys. me and my boyfriend broke up in july, and we we're fighting for weeks. he gotta new gf and that crushed me...keep in mind i had just come home from my cousins funeral in pensyilavnia (i live in illinois) and he had his best friend brake us up. suddenly, he asks if i can call him so he can talk to me about sum stuff, so i did. he tells me how much he misses me and how he broke up with his gf and the only reason he went out with her was because he though it would make him forget about me. i feel kinda bad for him, and he asked if i wanted to go to his house saturday... the thing is, i took his virginity and he took mine. i'm worried if i go over there that we'll have sex and he'll ask me back out. there's a twist to it. i met a guy at school the 1st day, and i really like him and he likes me... the thing is i think we're both kinda too shy to ask one another out and i dunno wut to do!!!! who should i go with?

Well, here's my outlook. I truly believe that things happen for a reason. Your boyfriend and you broke up for a reason. I don't think he is mature enough to handle a relationship if he has his friends break up with you for him and if he feels he needs to rebound to another girl in order to get over a relationships. I am a firm believer in fate, and you met this new guy at your school for a reason. If you feel a connection with him, start up a conversation, make eye contact, and get to know him for who he is. You don't have to jump into a relationship with him right away, find out if he is someone you "click with." Postpone seeing your ex-boyfriend for a while, so you can get yourself together. You are not in the right frame of mind to be seeing him, and the first sign that you shouldn't go see him on Saturday is because you are scared you will have sex with him. If you feel that vulnerable to him right now AND you're scared... then don't. Tell him that you will hang out some other time, this way you can give yourself a breather and you can get to know the new guy.

Hang in there. I hope I helped. Feel free to leave me a question/message any time you need to. I'm always here for advice if anyone needs it.

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hey, as u prolly know, im not asking a question, im here to complement you on your reply to the girl who hasnt got her first kiss bc shes too afraid. I just wanted to say your a great advicer and i rly admire your "work". Good luck with that college application thing.

much love
drew

P*s, take a look at myne plz, its HckyAg89

Wow. That really caught me off-guard. I really appreciate you taking time out to write this to me. Thank you very much. Your comment really made my night a little brighter. I would love to check your advice column. Keep in touch, Drew.

Love
Samantha

ps. I added you to my favorite columnists.

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Ok im 14 and a 34 in like ltd 2 bras that is wicked small!!! but im fit! and i went through everything.. im going to be a freshman in a couple of days!!! what do i do!!! im small! and i cant wait for them to groww!!! and guys are going to not want to go out with me HELP!!!! and dont tell me to stuff cause that is like so obviose!!!

signed so SMALL!!

Sweetheart, I am a senior and I'm on the cusp of a 36A to a 34B.. It all depends on the style. LoL, I used to be pissed about my chest size, because I knew people would judge me on it. And I will be honest, there are some VERY superficial people in school, just like there are everywhere else in the world. And you will be confronted by them possibly. My advice is, accept what you have and be proud of it. Don't let other people see that you are upset by your size, unless they are truly close friends. You have a small chest for a reason. Just like I do. (although I've yet to find out what the reason is haha.)

Hang in there. I hope I helped in some way. If you have any more questions, feel free to drop me a line.

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this is long but i'll give u the highest rateing just plz answer..ok i lived w/ my grandparents my
whole life untill my grandfather died and so now i'm liven w/ my aunt uncle and cousin.well i had to move in a diff house and go to a diff school where i didnt kno n e one. and this was just a few monthes ago.well my aunt and i have always had a really good relationship till i moved in here but a few things happened and she didnt trust me n e more.i have never had to do and house work in my life till i moved in here.now she exspects me to do chores every day..its really hard for me to do this and her daughter has done then her whole life and my aunt is always sayin how she does her chores and i dont and i feel really left out..u no i dont feel like part of the family.she knos this and that i fell that she treats her daughter better i tell her that all the time.she is always sayin how my cousin gets good grades and is a really good kid...i have no clue wat to say to her that will make her understand how i feel...plz help me..

Oh wow, you're in a rough situation. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Ok, now onto the advice or my point of view. I think that your family is having just as much trouble adjusting to this new arrangement as you are. You are like a new face coming into their home. And as the saying goes "you never know someone until to live with them." Well, I believe the same goes for family members too. Your aunt obviously places your cousin on a high pedestal, and she most likely always has. Meaning, with you coming into the picture, she will end up comparing you to her and probably pointing out your imperfections. As unfair to you as this is, this might just be your aunts way of handling the new situation. I say, sit down with the household and explain that you know they expect you to be a certain way because they are used to a different way of living than you are. But you need time to adjust, and they can't just automatically expect you to perfect everything they throw at you. But at the same time, you have to try to adjust yourself to their way of living. After all, you did move into their home, so you are expected to live by their rules.

I hope I helped in some way. Sorry if the wordage I used was a little confusing. Hang in there, and good luck. If you need ANYTHING else, feel free to drop me a message.

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My friend smokes..and hes 13. Im trying to ask him to quit and i give him my point of view. Ive tried almost everything in the book..so dont say talk to him. i have.

I say... Talk to a teacher or an adult. Or have a doctor talk to him. Honestly, there is nothing you can do to make him stop smoking, its just something he's going to have to realize on his own. You are obviously a friend who cares, and you don't want to sit back and watch your friend smoke years off of his life... so keep being supportive and try to help him. You don't need to talk to him about it all the time, just remind him every once in a while. Make hinted points of walking away when he pulls out a cigarette, and bring up photos of smoked out lungs. Do whatever it takes, you're doing a great job. Even though it doesn't seem like you're affecting him at all, you are in some way.

I hope I helped. Hang in there. If you need anything else, feel free to ask.

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Hi ok im 14 and well ive never been kissed.. i mean i could have been kissed a couple of times but i kinda said i didnt want to but i wanted to so bad its just i dont know how!! i mean what if u bite the other persons tongue or what if they bite you!? and then what if the other person has braces and u get scratched or sumthing else??? like idk i just keep on getting this ideas in my head and get paranoid!! i dont think ill ever kiss anyone unless its just like a peck.. please HELP!!!!!!!
p.s can u give me tips and how to french kiss??

I didn't get my first kiss until I was 15. I was a person who believed that my first kiss should mean something and it shouldn't be remembered because of a truth or dare game, or spin the bottle. You're first kiss should be special. I give you a lot of credit for not just kissing someone to get it over with. I thought I wasn't ever going to kiss someone. But trust me, the wait is worth it. I had NO IDEA what I was doing when he kissed me. But it all just came naturally. You don't have to get certain techniques or anything, because it just happens. Sometimes weird things happen, like little bites or something, but you don't have to worry about it. It happens to the best of us.

I hope I helped! Good luck! I hope your first kiss is as memorable as mine was. =)

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Hey. I need some advice and you seem like you like helping people out so here i go:

I'm a sophomore and ever since last year, I have liked this guy in my high school and he has liked me back. However, this guy is a player. He goes out with many girls at the same time. He gets over all of them, yet he's never been able to get over me. He always asks me out and I always refuse him. Who would want to go out with a player and get hurt? He promises me that he'll change. Sadly, I caught him making out with another girl the day after. I was devastated. I sent him a letter that told him how I felt. In it I told him how stupid I felt for liking and caring so much about him for such a long time. I also told him I was sick of lies and false promises. I ended it by saying "don't write back or talk to me anymore...leave me alone, you've hurt me enough." That day I came home and started crying. I should feel better now that it's over, but I don't. The thought that he'll never talk to me again makes me sad. Even though he's broken my heart and played me from the very start, I can't help but keep liking him. Should I talk to him again? Should I keep trying to make "us" work out? Please let me know your honest answer.

I honestly think that you did the right thing by writing him a letter and telling him how he truly made you feel. Emotions are such weird things. We are normally drawn to the people who would hurt us the most, and that is what is odd. Its like a learning process. Unfortunately for you, you have liked this guy for an very long time. I was in that boat too, once and I was hurt pretty badly by it. It was a different situation, however, I know what you are going through. Its hard to like someone a lot, but have to tell them that it just won't work out. I do not think that you and he should be together, because you deserve someone who will treat you right. Besides, being with someone who has been with an unknown number of females could be dangerous. You don't need to worry about if what he has done in the past will carry on to you (aka STDs or something like that) and you also don't need to sit at home worrying if he will actually change or if he is going behind your back and getting together with another girl. People like him very rarely turn over a new leaf. I think you can do better than him. Getting over your feelings for him may be hard, but it may be worth it. Until you see him changing, don't go for it. Why risk the hurt?

I hope I helped. Good luck.
By the way, I love giving advice. And I am willing to give it to anyone about anything. Feel free to ask anything else if you need to. Hang in there. Let me know how things go... ~SammyPie

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does anybody out there know any good role play sites? like for lotr or anything? thanx bunches

On livejournal there are some awesome rp sites. I belong to a Harry Potter one. Its called Of Lions and Serpents... they are a lot of fun.

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Thanks so much! i will follow the advice and update you on how things are going! :)

ONce again! THANKS!

not a problem. =) anytime

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