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Hey. I need some advice and you seem like you like helping people out so here i go:
I'm a sophomore and ever since last year, I have liked this guy in my high school and he has liked me back. However, this guy is a player. He goes out with many girls at the same time. He gets over all of them, yet he's never been able to get over me. He always asks me out and I always refuse him. Who would want to go out with a player and get hurt? He promises me that he'll change. Sadly, I caught him making out with another girl the day after. I was devastated. I sent him a letter that told him how I felt. In it I told him how stupid I felt for liking and caring so much about him for such a long time. I also told him I was sick of lies and false promises. I ended it by saying "don't write back or talk to me anymore...leave me alone, you've hurt me enough." That day I came home and started crying. I should feel better now that it's over, but I don't. The thought that he'll never talk to me again makes me sad. Even though he's broken my heart and played me from the very start, I can't help but keep liking him. Should I talk to him again? Should I keep trying to make "us" work out? Please let me know your honest answer.
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Sorry it's taken me so long to answer. I've been really busy with college. I've been through this similar situation. If I were you, I wouldn't try talking to him again. I wouldn't keep trying to make the twosome work out. If the guy is unwilling to change, even though he promised he would, then he's not going to change. You did the right thing by telling him that you didn't want to talk to him or be with him anymore because he's hurt you enough. Those reltionships are very unhealthy for anyone. If a guy cheats on you once, he's going to cheat on you again becasue he grows to like the feeling. It's like an addiction to a drug. I hope I have helped you out. I'm getting better at giving advice, but I'm still new at it. I don't know if I help people unless I hear back from them.
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NOO!! DEFINITELY DO *NOT* talk to him again!!! He's not woRth youR time --OR-- youR teaRs!! So stop youR cRying, hold youR head high, and push foRwaRd. Don't waste youR time on this loseR. Don't give 100% devotion to someone who won't do the same foR you! He obviously has nothing to offeR you, so it's no big loss. It's like, don't give youR heaRt away to someone who won't give you theiRs. And NEVER EVER belive the, "I'll change" shit, you KNOW threy neveR do - and it was pRoven to you... Just use youR head and do what's best foR you!! TheRe's somebody way betteR out theRe foR you... good things come to those who wait!! I wish you the veRy best!! Hope I helped!!! Thanks foR the question; I'm heRe if you eveR need anything else!!
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My hgonest opinion to this is.. Get over him. Someone that liked you wouldnt keep on trying to break your heart like he is doing. I know it will be hard but you can do it i have faith in you. It was hard for me to get over my ex boy friend to he did the same thing except he did it with my best friend. Any waysd want a secret to get over him? try your hardest to not hang around him or talk to him at all. and i know that it will hurt for a while and it will take at least a few weeks to get over him but you will get ove him. And once you first get over him and see him the feeling will come back but its only temporarly. But try your hardest this guy doesnt seem like hes going to change and you seem nice you dont need to be getting hurt like that. Good luck i hope iv helped and dont be afraid to write back if you need to talk about anything here is my aim sn - vampiregoddess54 and my yahoo is shortieblonde2002 good luck and stay tough.
Signed
Short N Punky
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*hey sweetie*
awww i know how u feel! this situation happens alot in highschool n it hurts! first of all i think that you are doing the rite thing, it sounz like u are having a hard time trusting him n he thinks that there is nothing wrong with trusting him bcz he is tellin u the honest truth, even the sweetest things he can say to u, he may jus be trying to make u feel good so that you will believe him! i think tht the note was a good idea, bcz u told him ur tru feelings about him and what u think. Sounz like u still like this guy alot even though he has hurt u soo much by the lies and false promises, its hard to let guys go away like that even after threw everything they have done. I think maybe you should try talkin to him one on one, n see if he will be willing to talk to u and work things out, it dosent necessarialy mean that u guys will b able to work things out n be like u were b4, but maybe u can still b good friends! try inviting him ova, 2 talk or somewhere where u guys can b alone! tht should help!
*if u ever need nething else feel free to drop me a message*
*tell me how it turns out*
best of luck
x's n o's
*bethany*
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emotions are not logical you cannot control them, ive been played and i have trouble getting over her to this day (been about 3 years) the liking doesnt really fully go away, it jsut sort of fades into the background like white noise and you learn to sort of ignore it.
while a guy can change his ways, its rare so chances are he sees you as a conquest.
i wouldnt recomend trying to make it work out. as they say theres plenty of fish in the sea, and you gotta find one that isnt going to flap its tail in your face.
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it seems to me that it might not be an easy habit for him to break and u'll really have to use your own judgment on whether he's sincere or not but i'd suggest that in order to find out maybe you can be like "if you like me so much, then let's start out as friends but you can't be with other girls if you really want something to happen between us" and move slow - let him kno that if he blows it, it's over!! if he's really into you then he'll be willing to put aside the other girls in order to get you!! good luck
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Damn. Another tuffy. Ok. 1) im flattered that you think i like helping ppl (trully im too freakin' nice, i need to get mean again). About your delema i think because you came up with some good reasons of why you shouldn't go out with him, don't, but i think you should try talking to him again about his relationship problems if you're really desperate to go back out with him. but i think that you should keep a line of communication in so ya'll two could be friends again, but don't give up to temtation.
Hope i helped if you need more clarification (if you didn't get a word i wrote) IM or e-mail be back.
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I honestly think that you did the right thing by writing him a letter and telling him how he truly made you feel. Emotions are such weird things. We are normally drawn to the people who would hurt us the most, and that is what is odd. Its like a learning process. Unfortunately for you, you have liked this guy for an very long time. I was in that boat too, once and I was hurt pretty badly by it. It was a different situation, however, I know what you are going through. Its hard to like someone a lot, but have to tell them that it just won't work out. I do not think that you and he should be together, because you deserve someone who will treat you right. Besides, being with someone who has been with an unknown number of females could be dangerous. You don't need to worry about if what he has done in the past will carry on to you (aka STDs or something like that) and you also don't need to sit at home worrying if he will actually change or if he is going behind your back and getting together with another girl. People like him very rarely turn over a new leaf. I think you can do better than him. Getting over your feelings for him may be hard, but it may be worth it. Until you see him changing, don't go for it. Why risk the hurt?
I hope I helped. Good luck.
By the way, I love giving advice. And I am willing to give it to anyone about anything. Feel free to ask anything else if you need to. Hang in there. Let me know how things go... ~SammyPie
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what i would do is keep tlking to him {{as friends}} but it would oviously hurt me or anybody else tho... after trying that out id prolly try and make us work out after a while... and deal with whatever happens because it is part a life. i really hope everything works out. sorry i couldnt answer very well its what id do tho... sometimes theres really nothing really great you can do and then that means its time to try and do whatever your heart tells you. x3 xogiggles37xo.
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Well, hun that's sad he's like that. I think your choices have been very good and steady all through this and it shows me that you are very smart but you can't help how you feel about people. I truly believe it's time you got over him. He hurt you once and if he hurts ya once he'll do it again. Now don't go thinking you can't change guyz cuz it is possible for a guy to change but some of them you just can't and he seems like one of them. If this is the way it's ended it seems like he's not for you and you should try getting over him, get involved go out with friends and try to go for someone else. But, if you do go out with someone don't try to find him in others cuz that's very unfair to that person. It's natural to keep liking him, but you can't forever because this isn't the way love should be. It's time to forget him. Hope i helped and good luck. :)
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It really truly sounds like you like this guy a lot and if so, I definitely think you should talk to him again and try to make the relationship work. Try to give him encouragement about changing but don't nag at him, otherwise, he won't listen to you. If he continues to not change the way he's acting then you'll know for sure that he's not the right person for you. It's going to be hard to trust him for a while and maybe for a long time but just try to make it work. I hope this helps and good luck!
Crystal
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honestly..some players canchange and some cant...but its up to them if they really want 2..n he doesnt seem like he does. he seemsl ike the kinda guy tht gets bored easily n will cheat on a girl in a heartbeat. its good tht u told him exactly how u felt! i think he does liek u sinse u said hes never been able to get over you, but he just doesnt wanna change. u did good by telling him how you felt, so give urself some props 4 tht bc it takes alot of courage 2 let some1 know tht they can and DID hurt you! maybe you shouldnt have said "dont talk to me anymore" bc you obviously care for this guy...maybe you just have 2 accept the fact tht the best relationship you can have with this guy is friendship. tlk 2 him n tell him you meant everything you said except the last part, but all you ever will be is friends. maybe one day he will change n u can be together, but until then dont set urself up for heartbreak! gl hun i hope i helped..n im srry he hurt u!!
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