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omg y??
this is long but i'll give u the highest rateing just plz answer..ok i lived w/ my grandparents my
whole life untill my grandfather died and so now i'm liven w/ my aunt uncle and cousin.well i had to move in a diff house and go to a diff school where i didnt kno n e one. and this was just a few monthes ago.well my aunt and i have always had a really good relationship till i moved in here but a few things happened and she didnt trust me n e more.i have never had to do and house work in my life till i moved in here.now she exspects me to do chores every day..its really hard for me to do this and her daughter has done then her whole life and my aunt is always sayin how she does her chores and i dont and i feel really left out..u no i dont feel like part of the family.she knos this and that i fell that she treats her daughter better i tell her that all the time.she is always sayin how my cousin gets good grades and is a really good kid...i have no clue wat to say to her that will make her understand how i feel...plz help me..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Before you can expect your Aunt to show you the respect you are obviously expecting (rightfully so), I think it is important that you work to show her that you can reciprocate that respect. My suggestion is to spend some set amount of time (i.e. 2 weeks) working very hard to complete all of the behaviors that your Aunt is expecting of you (chores, homework, good attitude). Then, you should sit down with your Aunt and calmly point out that you have been making a real effort to meet her expectations of you, that you want to be a part of this family and that you want to work toward regaining a good relationship with her. Then, you can tell her what she could do for you (within reason) that would help you feel like you are respected and that you belong. This is clearly a tough adjustment period for you, but don't forget that it is an adjustment for everyone and it's going to take effort and understanding from all to make this new situation successful.
Kind wishes,
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awwww... first off u need to tell her that u dont wanna be compared to ne one else... tell her that shes messin up ur relationship by doin so... & you've lost a lot & ur whole atmosphere has changed... she needs to give u time to adjust... tell her that she may not find it unfair but u do... the whole her not trusting u... well im guessin ur under 18... people ur age are expected to rebel & mess up... no one is perfect... as long as u learn from ur mistakes u r ok... just cuz her daughter is sum sorta perfect goody good doesnt mean u have to be... everyone is different... she needs to accept that... & if she cant... than tuff... i knO its really hard for u... but try not to let it get to u... if u wanna ask me anything else... drop one in my inBox... or Feel free to IM me... I really hope things get better for you :)
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if i were you this might just be me but u should write her a note. tell her everything, how u r just getting over ur grandfathers death and ud appreciate it if shed make things easier and all that. actually, u should show her exactly what u put in here. print it out or write it over and giv it to her secretly. tell her u really want to make things work out and help but u feel out of place and that she wants u to reach her daugters expectations. im sure she'll understand and appreciate u talking to her. good luck with this and i am very sorry about ur grandfather :(
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Kind-of a hard situation but i'll see if i can help ya!....i dono how long you've lived with them or anything about your situation, but i'd have to say that not only is this a HUGE change for you (and i know i have no idea how huge) but i know it must be REALLY hard, but I also know that it's probably hard on your aunt, uncle, and cousin...Doing chores isn't an easy thing to keep up with, but if you talked to your aunt and told her that you'd be willing to help if she paid you, or if she did something in return for you doing those chores, that you'd be more willing (and just try to tough it out and do them...it's just like school, you may hate it but you know you HAVE to do it, so it's best to just go and get it done with.) About the grades thing--whether your the smartest person in the world or the dumbest it doesn't matter...what matters is that you try. i know it sounds cheezy as hell, but if you were to go to school and try your hardest and get a 5% you could sat at least it wasn't a 4%...but if you go and u don't try at all and you get a 70%....you look back and think man i coulda got a 71%....(if that makes any sense...kinda hard to explain...) but basically just do what you think you SHOULD do in school and I'm sure you'll do fine...if you tell your aunt look i didn't do great on this test but i thought i was gonna fail so im really happy then she'll be more accepting. Another thing:don't compete with your cousin...it would just make things worse...i know it's hard not to, but then you hold an inner grudge and you said you wanted to feel like part of the family and you can't if you don't like someone. Just hang in there and keep smiling and I'm sure everything will pass!! I'm sorry for all your going thru and if ya need anything else just drop me one!
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I think you should ask her if you can start by doing chores only once a week or 3 times a week until you get used to it. Then as you go along you can do more chores. Also, you had to have done something to lose her trust so you can gain it back by working extra hard and always being nice to her and doing what she says. Tell her that you love her but it's really hard for you to adjust to a whole new environment and it might take a little longer. Also, you can say you'll use the time that you're not doing chores to study or do homework and you'll get better grades. You don't have to be everything your cousin is, what you are is perfectly fine! I think you should tell her that you need a little more time to adjust to living there and that you will soon, but it would help a lot if you didn't have to do so many chores at first. Say that going to a different school is always tough and it might take a little bit more time for you to get your grades in line. Nobody is perfect and if you get A's and B's and don't have any problems with her then everything should work out great. Sorry its so long but I hoped I helped! You can leave me one in my inbox if you need anything! =c)
Good Luck!
Love, RacheL
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heyy hun
u did sumthin 2 lose her trust now gain it bac. try harder in skool n help her more w. da chores
good lucc
xoxoxox
brunettebeauti
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Well, you have to look at it from your aunts point of veiw. You did something to lose her trust, so do something. (Like try hard in school and do your chores) That will show you can be trusted. As for the treating your cousin better....Well, she IS her daughter...I don't really know what to say to that, but You need to talk about it, but be easy with it because it is a testy subject. Good luck!
-Megan Kristine-
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tell her strait out ur not ur cousin. u neva have been and u neva will be. that's all that you can do.
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Oh wow, you're in a rough situation. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.
Ok, now onto the advice or my point of view. I think that your family is having just as much trouble adjusting to this new arrangement as you are. You are like a new face coming into their home. And as the saying goes "you never know someone until to live with them." Well, I believe the same goes for family members too. Your aunt obviously places your cousin on a high pedestal, and she most likely always has. Meaning, with you coming into the picture, she will end up comparing you to her and probably pointing out your imperfections. As unfair to you as this is, this might just be your aunts way of handling the new situation. I say, sit down with the household and explain that you know they expect you to be a certain way because they are used to a different way of living than you are. But you need time to adjust, and they can't just automatically expect you to perfect everything they throw at you. But at the same time, you have to try to adjust yourself to their way of living. After all, you did move into their home, so you are expected to live by their rules.
I hope I helped in some way. Sorry if the wordage I used was a little confusing. Hang in there, and good luck. If you need ANYTHING else, feel free to drop me a message.
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tell her that you're in a different school now and you're still getting used to it and also tell her that you're not your cousin (i have to remind my family constently..sometimes they even call me by her name...) and tell her you're not used to doing all of this but you'll try your hardest and also tell her you feel as thought you dont fit in with her because of this. but just try harder and i hope everything works out. let me know how it goes...hope this helped at all.
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