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how to gain parents trust
i've had a best friend for 3 yearz and we both got caught lying and sneaking out and my parents grounded me from ever seeing her agen..im not allowed to hang out wid her AT ALL forver.i really lost their trust wid me and my best friend. but the thing is shes the only one i talk to in this town dat relle cares about me. and i told my parents dat but they dont care no matter what i sai.dey tell me to find another best friend but i cant bc i only want her and im not going to find another best friend this quick. i cant just forget 3 years of friendship. please help on what could i do. i rate good.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Try to see if this works. I would suggest your best friend do the same, then when you think you've tried hard, have you and your best friends parents sit down together and talk.
Steps
1. Communication - If you have something to discuss with your parents, make sure that you get it out and tell them. It's all about give and take; if you trust them not to overreact, they will trust you to let them know what you're really doing. Don't give up on communication and you can help create an environment that supports a trusting relationship.
2. Friendship - Friends trust, listen, and respect each other. Do the best you can to become friends with your parents. Do things around the house for them, and let them share their opinions with you.
3. Respect - This goes both ways. You need to give your parents respect and they should do the same for you. Recognize that while you may be in different positions and coming from different points of view, each deserves to be treated with respect.
4. Truth - Lying is a horrible thing to do. If you lie, you're only making problems bigger, and if you lie, your parents will never trust you. This is a fact. If you've done something wrong, lying about it won't make matters better for anyone - including yourself - in the long-term. And it's the long-term that generates trust.
5. Get up and do it - If you believe something is right, do it. If your parents still don't seem to believe in you, prove to them that you are capable and deserving of their trust. Thinking and planning won't get anyone far; you have to get out there and show them just who you are and why they should trust you.
Tips
• Talk with your parents. If you don't get along with your parents very well, ask them nicely if you can talk with them. Clearly state out your issues and ask for their opinion. Speak your say, and listen openly to their responses.
• Think trustworthy. What would a trustworthy person do? How would a trustworthy person behave? Act like that person.
Warnings
• Building trust takes time. Don't expect it to happen after just a few "trust-building" experiences. It will grow through those and become stronger as they build upon each other.
• Little things count. If small, daily actions are not consistent with a trusting relationship, the trust will erode away quickly. Alternatively, even small acts can help build trust.
• try not to break their trust, for it is HARD to earn back!
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Your parents are probably still really mad right now, you're gonna have to give them time to get over it. In the mean time, you have to be on your best behavior. Before too long, they will start to trust you, a little bit. Then you could suggest letting your friend come over for supervised visits. (I know that sucks, but it's only temporary.) After a while, (of being on ya'll best behavior) your parents will realize that they can trust both of you. Be patient because it will take some time.
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heres wat id do. youve comletly lost ur parents trust and there seems like theres no way gettin bak rie? well now ur guilt free 2 sneek out now and meet her again. or just talk 2 her wen ur parent r gone or pretend 2 b talkin 2 sum1 els on the phone. dont let ur parents stop u from havin a life.im not allowed ont his sit but i am arent i? just remember this "it is not our abilities that show who we truly r....it is our choices" dhoose wisly ;)
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you have to start with baby steps. have your best friend come over one day and talk to your parents. parents love a kid that is very respectful and is well-mannered. Explain to them that you know what you did was wrong and your not going to screw up like that again. Tell them that you and her were just going through a stupid phase and wanted to feel like bad asses for a day!!! but you got caught and you had to pay the price and now you want to try to re-gain their trust!!!! try that and see where it gets ya!!! worked with me :-)
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Okay, you might not like my advice but it's my opinion. You should first try talking to your parents, tell them how hard it is for you to find someone that knows you as well and is on the same level with you. Talk to them at a time when they'll listen, like right before bed or something. Let them know how important she is to you and you relationship with her. Also, tell them that you'll never do anything like that again (but only if you're not) and how sorry you are about breaking the trust between you and your parents. I think the best thing could be a compromise, like maybe letting them ground you for a while but asking them to let you talk to her and lket her come over or something.
If they still don't crack, well you have to listen. If you break what they told you and talk to her anyways your trust will be broken even more. You can find so many people at school or around your neighborhood that you might like, but you have to give them a chance. They might not be like her but eventually your friendship wiull grow stronger. Your parents are looking out for you and when yopu're older, you'll understand. (at least, that's what my mom tells me) i hope i helped ~ «3
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heyy well try talkin to ur parents againn nd like parents are they want whats best for u nd they want u to move on in ur life nd study nd finish school nd all that soo explain to them that ur best friend is a part of all that nd that u just cant find another best friend that truly cares for u cuz i kno how that is well anyways..tell them if they can give u another chance with hangin out with her nd that u wont lie anymore or be sneakin out and have ur parents talk to her too nd try to get them to trust her too nd ur parents can also talk to her parents, explain to them how hard it is to just forget a best friend after a friend of 3 years!!! well i hope i helped nd good luck!
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Hey. I think you should talk to your parents and tell them that you're really sorry and that everybody makes mistakes. Tell them how much you care about your friend and how they would like it if they couldn't see their best friend's forever. Other than that, just talk to her at school or try to talk to her online or on the phone. Good luck!!
-xXoBrianna
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Wow hun thats really tough.Would they let you call her?Becouse you could always sneak and call her.Plus you can see and talk to her at school.Thats the only real thing i can think to do.Hope i helped somewhat.Much <33 and goodluck!
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Alright, this may be a long answer back, but I don't know. We'll see. Here goes: Your parents are looking out for you. With you going out and sneaking around with this friend, you breached their trust. As well as your friends. They probably see this friend as a bad influence, which is understandable. You need to give your parents some time to cool down, MEANING you need to respect their words and NOT try contacting this friend of yours and keep yourself out of trouble. For the time being, keep yourself occupied AND always let your parents know where you will be at all times. The only way to build up your parents trust again is to let them know you learned from your mistakes and that you are mature enough to take responsibility for your actions. Don't argue with your parents and have an anxiety attack, because realistically, your parents have the final word in what goes on in your life. For now, stay away from your "friend" and focus your life elsewhere. When you go to back to school, start to talk to other people. Get to know different people. This girl can't be the ONLY person there is to like where you live. Sometimes you just have to give other people a chance.
Hang in there, and good luck. I hope I helped. If you have any more questions, PLEASE feel free to ask. I always answer back.
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