Only the finest advice, delivered fresh to your PC daily. Accept no substitutes.
Gender: Male
Occupation: Information Professional
Age: 42
Member Since: January 22, 2010
Answers: 87
Last Update: February 3, 2011
Visitors: 5721
|
| |
My ex of 6 months broke up with me. It was a hasty decision and he was showing regret straight away. Without going into too much detail, I wanted to get back together but he said he was unsure. I decided not to stay in contact and he was p*ssed about that.. he still kept contacting me. Last month he told me he still loved me, missed me and wanted nothing more than me back but he didn't know what to do.
I felt like he was always after a reaction from me. Like he sent me a text out of the blue saying "What you up to" I replied and said What? and he said "Sorry that was my gf who sent that" I didn't reply to it, I just left it and a few hours later he said his friend sent that text and he didn't have a gf..which was so not true. I said ok and told him not to contact me again. We haven't spoke since.
Any way he has started talking to one of my BEST friends who tried getting us back together. He knows that she knows exactly how I feel about him etc. My friend said it's in a friendly flirty way. I know she would never do anything with him, but do you think he's doing it to get to me? Or because he does actually like her? If he does actually like her it's gonna hurt me like hell because one of his friends told me he liked me and I turned him away because I cared about my ex's feelings. (My ex doesn't know about his friend, and I know he hasn't found out) (link)
|
It sounds like he has definitely been trying to mess with your head. I don't know why - maybe it's his version of an amicable breakup? A way of staying in contact? Whatever it is, it sounds really annoying and I think it's probably for the best that you've broken up with this guy. I'd keep giving him the silent treatment.
As for his possibly trying to go out with your friend... I think you should just not worry about that. Easier said than done, I know, but if you two have really broken up, who he tries to date should really not matter to you. It sounds like your friend has the sense to stay away from him, so just forget about it! You have to start not caring about his love life. It's tough at first, but it gets easier over time.
Good luck! I know you'll find someone better suited to you sooner or later.
|
Ever since I could remember, I've had cold sores on my lips. They come and they go. I don't get them alot, usually just in the winter. Well, I had one on the right side of my lips, and my boyfriend who is still a virgin* I gave him headd, well later that night, he called me and told me he had something that looked like a hickey on his shaft, and another one right under his head; but it had a rough texture too it. He said it hurt him to touch it, and to even pee. Did my cold sore do this?
Btw, now after we kissed, he has three cold sores on his bottom lip, and three lie bumps on the tip of his tongue. Is this from me too? Or is it because he had strep throat? My cold sore is completely gone. But I read someone elses post, and they had a smiliar problem, and they said she had a std?
I've had sex with two guys; One was a virgin, and the other one had sex with two girls before me. I gave them both head; but I haven't experienced any signs of STD's. (link)
|
"Cold sores" are the common same for Herpes Simplex Virus 1 (HSV-1), or oral herpes. It's extremely common - most people have it. It can be transmitted to the genitals, but it's uncommon. Even if it is transmitted, the symptoms take longer than a few hours to show up. If that was the first time you gave him head (and you've never had intercourse), those spots on his penis didn't come from you.
The cold sores around his mouth - those definitely might have come from you. But he shouldn't worry about it - he would probably get those sooner or later anyway.
There is a very slight chance that you have a genital herpes (HSV-2) infection in your mouth. That almost never happens, but it is possible. However, again, that wouldn't have shown up on his penis for several days at the very soonest.
Hope this helps. Technically HSV-2 is considered an incurable 'STD', but it's not a terribly bad one as far as such things go. If you're really worried about it, they have tests for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 for about a hundred bucks.
Good luck! And don't be too worried. You guys will be fine.
|
|
names kayla, well long story short i have been with my husband for 8 years and hes deployed right now. he will be home in 2 months though. my mama who was a best friend to me passed away this year on mothers day. well i have never been on my own i have always had my husband or a family members living with me. with that said i have recently cheated on my husband for the first time ever.i really dont have the answers to why i did what i did but i feel ugly for doing so. i share everything with this man but i dont know if i should wait to tell him when he comes home from iraq or should i tell him now? (link)
|
If you're going to tell him tell him now, so he can get used to it before he sees you. But are you sure you want to tell him? Are you ever going to see this guy you cheated on him with again? If this is just a one-time thing, and it's not like a mutual friend of you and your husband's or anything like that, you really ought to consider just letting it go. We all make mistakes. Perhaps just get tested for STDs if you think that's a possibility, and just concentrate on loving your husband and being faithful from here on out.
|
Okay, Im 18/f and my boyfriend is 17/m. I've had sex with two guys, and he is still a virgin, because the last girl he was with for a year and a half was saving herself for marriage. We have talked on and off for a few months last year when him and his ex broke up; than they got back together; now we have been together for a month. The chemestry between us is amazing. We have a great connection phyiscally, emotionally, and mentally. Well, I know boys will be boys, and they get horny quite often, just like girls do too. I very rarely get horny. There was an inncident that happened when I was 15 where I almost got raped, if it wasn't for my friend that walked in, and got him off of me, I would have. (I was drunk at the time too) Big mistake. I told riley about it at the beginning of our relatioship, and he cried because it pissed him off somoene would do that to me.
Well. Riley has already fingered me, and what not, but since then, Riley is always trying to pull moves on me, when he knows IM not in the mood. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling good at all, and we was laying in his bed together, I was trying to take a nap, and he tried rubbing on me down there, and I told him to stop, he did for maybe a minute, and did it again. Theres been a couple of times, I've told him No, and he still tries. He says that he loves me, but yet he doesn't stop when I ask him too. He said its hard for him to control himself with that kind of stuff, and I told him if he really loved me, he would find a way to control it. I told him theres a difference in my sexual stop, and my serious one, and he knows the difference in them pretty well. He just doesn't know how to stop when I tell him too. It usually takes me to cry in order for him to stop. He knows about me almost getting raped, and yet he doesn't stop. I think he's confusing lust with love. Maybe he's only with me because he knows I've had sex, and I will have sex with him? I don't know. (link)
|
There's a few issues here - one is that you and he may have pretty different sex drives. You say you "very rarely get horny." And there's nothing wrong with that - but it may mean that you and he have sex drives that are seriously different - even greater than the usual boy/girl difference in that regard. If so, maybe you should consider finding someone more in tune with your wants and needs.
Another issue, however, is this business of him not taking "no" for an answer. There should be only one "stop," not a sexual one versus a serious one. Boys get stupid when they're horny. Trust me on this. If you say "stop," mean it, and tell him that from now on, your "stop," if you say it, is always for real.
With that problem out of the way, you can judge his behavior accurately. If you say "stop" and he keeps going, then it's time to end the relationship.
That's how I see it anyway. Best of luck to you either in this relationship or your next one!
|
I'm a sophomore in college. I dorm. I'm unhappy.
I'm just in such a rut. I'm unhappy. Let me just say that my freshman year was awesome. I had a blast. I had a great roommate and the people that lived on my floor all hung out, even though we tended to do our own thing. My suitemates and I didn't really love going out that much, everyone on our floor usually just hung out and drank in someones room. By 2nd semester I was getting sick of this. I wanted to get out and meet more people. People always made comments about how we didn't go out. I didn't really care.
Now it's my sophomore year. I barely see the people from our floor from last year, everyone lives in different places.. I only have my roommate. The building we're in, nobody talks. Everybody has their own group of friends and nobody makes an effort. I'm miserable. I seriously have no friends. I'm not used to this. I've always had no problem making friends in high school. It's really cutting into my self esteem. I feel like shit. I joined a sport this semester because I thought it'd help and I'd definitely make friends. Nope. The girls are so cliquey. They all were best friends from last year/live with eachother/go out together. I tried but it's just awkward, i feel like I'm being fake. i know they don't give a shit if I come to practice or not. I'm not used to this at all. I feel worthless. Mind you, I go to a huge school. Our class size is 300+ lecture halls. I see new people everyday, and everyone is always on their own schedule not trying to make friends while sitting in class. I have no friends.
And I feel like my roommate holds me back. She hates going out. We both make jokes all the time about how we're our only friends. I'm sick of it. I need more friends. I have so many acquaintances but not a set group of friends. At home, I'm used to having my group of friends that are willing to have complete fun, be myself around, and hang out together whenever. I love my roommate but being with the same person literally every hour of the day, and no one else, get's lonely and boring.
And additionally I don't even know what my major is yet. I want to transfer schools. I'm afraid to start ALL OVER as a junior though. I feel like the whole meeting friends thing will be even harder. It just sucks because as a sophomore everyone already has their set group of friends. I'm just so lonely and I don't know what to do. It really makes me want to drop out of college, not knowing what I'm doing with my life and hating my school.
I don't know, I just need an opinion from someone. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, but it's really just all cutting into my self esteem. I've tried, and it's just making me feel like I'm incapable of making friends/meeting people. (link)
|
I found myself in similar "ruts" in college at various points, but it always got better. The trick is to find new scenes - different activities, locations and so forth. A change of dorm can make a HUGE difference (I recommend smaller, older dorms if your campus has them); so can joining a couple of clubs on a sort of probationary basis, and sticking with the ones you like. One thing to remember is that you may not like EVERYONE in a given floor, club, group, etc., but you'll probably find some people you do like. Concentrate on individuals, not whole dorms, floors, teams, etc.
At a big school, it's easy to get lost and feel alone. But as long as you keep looking and try new things, it's just as easy to suddenly find yourself in a whole new social scene! Best of luck, and I know you'll make it!
|
|
i have been seeing this guy for a month or so..and we are very serious about our relashionship..we both love each other a lot..and the guy has proved to me time and again that he is always gonna love me..and be there for me..i think am ready to take the next step..and go all the way and have sex but the problem is the age thing comes in..i am just about to turn 16..so i dont know if i should do it right now or not?! is it the right time?! is it too early? my guy has left the decision upto me saying that he can wait until the time i dont want to do it .. HELP!!!!! (link)
|
I would say that if you're in doubt about it - feeling more than just the usual nervousness - wait a little longer. Not necessarily a LOT longer, but give it a few months at least, maybe more like half a year. In the meantime, you guys can have sexual fun without going "all the way" - i.e. penetrative intercourse. Not that that's necessarily such a big deal, but you've obviously built it up in your head to such an extent that it's really scary right now. So relax! You can touch each other, use your mouths on each other and so forth, and maybe a little later you won't feel so freaked out about it.
However, there is of course one thing that IS scary about intercourse - the risk of an unwanted pregnancy! If you plan on having that kind of sex eventually, make sure to get straight on your birth control situation. Talk to your mom or doctor if you can to get on the pill, or at the very least use a condom at a time when you're less likely to be ovulating.
Good luck and have fun!
|
|
Okay, so here's the thing. I have a good friend and we've toyed with the idea of hooking up and after a year, we finally did. Now he would usually be online on IM and after a few days, I noticed he hasn't been going online so I decided to see if he was just in invisible mode. It kept saying he was online, but he appears offline to me. So I figured, he must be avoiding me. I don't understand why he's acting this way when we both made it clear to each other that we don't want to get into a relationship and it won't turn to anything serious. He's a good friend because we talk about anything under the sun, even random nonsensical things and I kind of miss that and I really would like us to still be friends. It's been 3 weeks now. (link)
|
This is exactly why they say not to "cross the line" with a good friend. Awkwardness ensues, especially if one develops feelings for the other that the other doesn't reciprocate. That may be what's happened here, or he may be afraid that you'll start wanting more from the relationship than he does.
But you may be able to get back to where you were. Write him an email and tell him he HAS to respond. Make it brief; just say you had a good time, but you wouldn't have done it if you knew he was going to disappear on you as a result. Tell him you want to resume your friendship, and that it's probably a good idea if you don't hook up again. That may set his mind at ease.
If not - well, maybe he's just oversensitive and too easily freaked out! If that's the case, you two would probably have eventually gone your separate ways anyway. Best of luck.
|
|
lost virginity 2 years ago..since then no physical relation. wil my husband come to know that im nt a virgin? (link)
|
I agree with what everyone's said here, but I just wanted to add one thing: besides the fact that you shouldn't lie, the other important thing is that HE SHOULDN'T CARE. If he *requires* his fiance (I assume you're not married yet?) to be a virgin, his views on women's independence are kind of medieval, and that may not bode well for your future happiness as a couple.
Best of luck!
|
|
me and my bogfriend had sex today and yeaterday twice and he came in me each time . is it a great chance i will be a soon to be mother ? Or are my chances slim ? (link)
|
The chance of you gettting pregnant depends entirely on whether you're ovulating or not, and that could happen at just about any time between whn your period stops and about 1-2 days bfore your next one. Most girls tend to ovulate in the middle of their cycle, but you never know for sure.
You don't mention if you WANT to get pregnant, so I hope you do, since you're having unprotected sex! I also hope that you and your boyfriend have a great realtionship and that you'll be able to give your baby the love and support it will need.
Good luck!
|
Well I'm a 18 year old girl, and for awhile now I've noticed that everytime I see a pregnant woman I get very fascinated with her figure. I'm not really sure what my sexuality is, I can get turned by men and women...even trannies. Just the thought of getting close to someone as a very good friend and then falling in love, I guess is a bit of a turn on too. During my freshman year I was experiencing health issues, that 'caused me to go to night school along with other students such as, pregnant teens. I was so amazed and wanted to rub their bellys at all time...lmao
I became good friends with this one girl who was pregnant, it started off awkwardly since I was so very turned on by her overall physical look. Huge potbelly, and she was very thin and tall...like a lamp....with a basketball glued to it. LOL"
I've always been blunt about things, so naturally I told her she looked beautiful pregnant and I'd pay massive amounts of money just to bathe her and her belly...Yeah, I'm a bit of a creep. But she laughed and said she wasn't a lesbian. Hah, still didn't stop me from telling her how she turned me on, and how I'd um...yeah. Anyways, the year went by and we got very close, she said oddly enough she never saw herself with another woman, she admitted to have fallen for me at some point. I was so amazed...and happy, lmfao (;
We dated for a year, but then she moved :( and since we were both only 15, we couldn't do much about it. These past years, people keep telling me I act like a guy. And women keep falling for me, which is weird...and men keep saying my boyish ways turn them on...I'm not sure what my question is. I sortah lost it...nice, but yeah. What might be the reason for this? Someone told me maybe I had a higher testosterone level than most woman...I'm very girly looking, not butch or lesbian looking at all, haha. I'm always attracted to older looking men, and younger looking girls, not like 12 year olds though. Sheesh, I like a full set of breast, lol.
Anyway, I guess my question is basically.
1. Why am I so attracted to a pregnant woman's body?
and
2.Am I just a freak? (link)
|
Sure you're a freak! Most people are! Fact is, just about everyone has particular turn-ons that would seem weird to most other people. That's just how it is. Yours sounds harmless - especially since you didn't say you were ONLY attracted to pregnant women. That would be bad - not morally bad, just tough for you, since most pregnant women are (duh) heterosexual.
You sound like a very fun, open person. I don't think you'll scare too many people by just being who you are. Let your freak flag fly!
|
|
so i'm eighteen girl and i dont know whats wrong with me but i'm always feeling really crappy. i'm not sick or anything. but i just don't feel good. as in, i'm not happy. all of my friends are always hanging out and making plans and they ask me to come with but i always say no because i'm not in the mood to be around people and i always just want to go home and sleep and be by myself. what is wrong with me? i used to be so social and happy.. now i'm just always in a bad mood. yes there was a lot of crap that happened in the past, so that could affect my mood. but that was in the past, and i'm trying to forget about it and move on. but i just can't seem to make myself happy again or in a good mood. i used to love shopping and going out to the movies. now all i want to do is come home and lay in bed. what do i do to get myself back to normal??? (link)
|
It seems to me there's two possibilities here. One is that all that "crap" in your past, whatever it is, is resurfacing and should be dealt with in therapy. The other is that you have plain old, garden-variety depression ands should see about getting a prescription from a psychiatrist to help.
I know both of these suggestions involce therapy of some sort. But believe me, I don't automatically think that shrinks, therapy and medication are the solution to everything! It's just that the symptoms you describe are CLASSIC symptoms of depression. It happens to huge amount of people and it's nothing to be ashamed of. The answers are found in involvement, exercise, therapy and medication. You put all those together (after finding the right medication), and I guarantee you'll feel better.
|
|
Ok, so. we are not dating now because of his parents, but when he turns 17 i will turn 19 a month later, but can he legally tell his parents at 17 years old in Georiga that "he is going to date her no matter what they say" and as long as he follows the legal laws and does not have sexual contact with her, are they allowed to "date"? (link)
|
The age of consent in Georgia is 16. You two have the legal right to date, as far as the law goes (I'm assuming he's 16 already). But the reality is that his parents don't want you two to see each other, and that's going to be hard to work around. Their roof, their rules, and all that. The best course of action is to get them to like you. He should tell them about amazing things you're doing - volunteering at homeless shelters, reading to poor kids in libraries, etc. (and at least some of it should be true). Meanwhile, you should send them occasional cards or small gifts. Eventually they may be charmed by you.
Or maybe it's not worth it! Maybe you should just date other people for now, and get back in touch with this boy in a couple of years when his parents will be less freaked out by the age difference. Only you can decide for sure what's best. But in either case, the best of luck you you and him.
|
|
I asked my ex new gf if she love him and she said she really do love him! i cant stop crying because i love him and he love me too but he told me that he broke up with her! now he's locked up so i don't know what to do :'( I said i was going to let him go since she love him because when me and him was going out all these girls try to come between us and i guess i don't want her to feel the same as i did! i dont know what to do! :'( (link)
| |
Love does suck! You don't know what to do, because there's nothing you CAN do. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just saying that people break up all the time. It happens. And sometimes, it's really hard. But do things to get your mind off of it - throw yourself into your schoolwork, spend more time with friends (but don't talk about your ex all the time or you'll make them crazy), join a new club, something! Stay busy, let yourself cry, and congratulate yourself on being mature and not being a crazy ex-girlfriend. You'll get over him, and find someone new sooner than you think.
|
|
Hi, im a 17 year old male. I live with my aunt uncle mom and cousin. My mom uncle and cousin all smoke. They each smoke about 2 packs a day. My uncle lights one up as soon as he starts the car in the morning to take me to school so i end up smelling like one going to school. Im usually around one of the three since i live with them. And usually atleast one of them is smoking. Its been like this for all 17 years. I never smoked and im around it all the time i dont think its fair. With one of them always smoking theres litteraly smoke around me 24/7 so when they smoke like two packs a day each its like im smoking 6 packs a day. When ever i run in gym my chest kills, i always get chest colds, i tell them to stop and get they so mad its not even funny. Jesus heroine is illegal and cigerattes are legal? heroine only harms the person using it. cigerates harm everyone around it. and thats another thing..like they think it only stays right next to them..the smoke like my mom will say im holding it away from you or my uncle will say im holding it out the window..the smell still goes everywhere they cant control where it goes. i sware those things are more addictive than any illegal drug. please help (link)
| |
Marinemom means well, but i think she's overreacting just a touch here. It does suck to be around that much smoke all the time, but I'm afraid that all you can do is ask them to try to keep it away from you - tell them about your chest colds, that you think you might have an allergy, whatever - and do it in a nice way; you're likely to get more cooperation. Meanwhile, stay out of the house as much as you can, go into other rooms when they smoke, etc. You're 17 - you'll only be in that house full-time a couple more years at most. With some cooperation all around, you can make it and minimize the damage to your lungs, which should be mostly temporary and heal once you're out on your own. Best of luck!
|
|
Hey! I'm a sixteen year old girl, sophomore. Okay so over the summer, I went to a party and well the drinks were a little stronger than I thought they would be... And I'm pretty small sooo I got kinda wasted:\... And I normally don't drink. But anyway. I was lacking in judgement and let some guy (junior, 17) he fingered me and that was it. Anyway. That guy... I'm kind if starting to get to know him and I like him... But it's still Awkwardddd... Cause I'm worried he sees me as a huge party girl/hoe and I'm really not!!! But weve never talked about it... What do I do?? (link)
|
You can totally bring this up with him. Just say exactly what you're saying here - and maybe add something about how maybe it wasn't just the alcohol - it also might have been because of how exceptionally charming and handsome HE was. He's bound to get an ego boost out of that.
Don't worry - you didn't do anything terrible. And he should realize that. Good luck!
|
|
so,i am always lonely when it comes to dating & friends...i havent had a boyfriend since early 2009 and all of my friends are so popular and dont really have time for me...what can i do? i really need some one to help me kill my worst enemy [too much time on my hands] urrg!!!! (link)
|
You don't say much about your life situation here - like how old you are, whether you're in school, if you have a job, etc. However, you speak of your friends being "popular," so I'm going to guess you're in high school? (and if you're in college, same answer): If that's the case, you should get involved! In clubs, social events, school government, band, sports, church groups... the list goes on and on, really! You can even look outside of school and church - if you live in a town of any size, there are tons of clubs and social groups that advertise in the local papers. Many of them would be open to younger members. And you'll find boys/men to date as well.
Godd luck & have fun!
|
|
me and my girl friend just broke up after 7yrs we have 2 kids togther and have been seporated for 6 months but i still love her and tell her so. just the other day she told me she was still so in love with me and dont no why she says shes tryed everything to not be in love with me but she cant what would u say to that u think its just head games she had tears and everything hard to no she lies alot (link)
|
I can't possibly know much about your relationship from what you've said here, but I do know it's not a very promising sign that she "lies a lot," or at least that you think she does. Maybe the two of you aren't made for each other after all. But what REALLY matters are those kids! You need to work out a stable situation for your kids, where you provide support, visit regularly, and make some decisions about how you're going to structure your life with your ex. Those kids do NOT need uncertainty in their lives about whether Dad is coming back, screaming, crying fights between Mom and Dad, etc.
The two of you owe it to them to not go back and forth on this too long; make a decision, at the very least, that you won't fight in front of the kids, and that you'll stick to your visitation and child support arrangements. If you want to try to work things out, maybe you can schedule some time with a counselor once a week, or once a month if weekly is too expensive.
Good luck!
|
i'm 21 and My boyfriend(24) and i have been together for a while and we have been keeping it secret i want to tell people but i'm scared what they will think. we got together at a really rocky point in our lives and i'm not sure people will except that because of what we went through i love him and am hopeing we can have a long term relationship any advice on what i should do
thanx (link)
|
There's important missing information here - namely, what exactly the circumstances were when you met (the "rocky point" in your lives), and what exactly it is about your boyfriend that people might not approve of. I'm guessing that addiction to, or at least use of or selling an illegal substance was involved? Or perhaps some other crime? You need to tell the people that matter to you that your boyfriend has gotten better, stopped doing whatever it was he used to do, and that you're seeing him on the condition that he stay "clean", or crime-free, or whatever it is.
And I hope that's true! If you're seeing him, I hope it's on the condition that he, and you, not fall back in to whatever bad pattern whas going on. You should be there to help each other stay healthy, employed, and law-abiding, not codependently enable each other in bad behavior.
Good luck!
|
Well, to start off, my (ex)girlfriend and I had been going out for over 2.5 years. She was my first serious relationship. We're both freshmen in college now, and we broke it off about 2 and a half weeks ago.
I loved her with all i had to give, and she had been my best friend for most of the time we were together. We knew nearly everything about each other all the time. I had no problem devoting an hour or more every weeknight to talk to her, and I spent every weekend with her since school started this year.
The only issues we had was that I kind of had an addiction to pornography, and her attitude tended to make our disputes much worse than they should have been. We would have manageable fights over smaller things, but when i would admit to her that i viewed porn recently, things would get out of hand and escalate. Fights got worse and worse the more we had, and eventually they got to the point where we hit each other.
About a month ago, we got in one such fight that went further than they had ever gotten, and I decided to tell her that it was destructive for the both of us to continue doing this. I seriously tried to break up with her for the first time. Consequently, she threatened to kill herself that night if after I left, so i spent the night and skipped classes for that Monday.
After that weekend, I just didn't feel quite the same. I felt like what she had done was selfish, but i didn't mind giving us another chance. Talking to her on the phone simply got extremely boresome to me after a half hour or so, and things just didnt feel right to me when we talked. I can't quite explain how i felt- i just got repulsed by talking to her after a certain amount of time into the conversation. I used to love talking to her- this felt so strange.
We spent thanksgiving weekend together and things felt better again. I wanted to talk to her and be with her, but she was uncomfortable with the way our conversations went the week before. By the end of the weekend i wholeheartedly decided that i would love her again and try my best to be hers, and we promised to help each other work through our disputes and such. We were even comfortable enough with each other to have sex that Saturday night.
that Monday evening, i picked up the phone to talk to her and after 15 minutes or so, I simply didn't have any interest in talking, once again. I felt like a totally different person from the one who promised to devote himself to her from now on. I told her straight up how i felt and we decided that i might be able to use a break. She doesn't believe in breaks, so it took a lot of convincing, but we decided to go no-communication until that Friday. I talked to her that night, and felt the same exact feeling, and we broke up later that night.
My problem is that i can't "get over" our lack of a relationship. I just don't feel like its hit me yet or something. I by no means hate her, and I don't think about her enough during the day for the lack of her being there to affect me. I'm still taking care of a bonsai tree she gave me as a gift, and i forgot to take down some pictures of her for a week. Neither seeing these objects, nor thinking about her bothered me. Even the break-up went easy for me.
I visited her last week to receive some of my belongings she still had and, to my surprise, I couldn't stop crying. I saw her, and everything came back to me. She told me she had cried about the break-up for days afterwards, and it seemed like she had come to terms with it and was fine with seeing me. Yet I couldn't talk to her or even be around her without feeling completely miserable. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything will be alright, but i knew i couldn't.
Again, the strange thing is that once I got my stuff and headed back to school, i felt fine again. Once i got around my friends again i never thought twice about it. I haven't shed a single tear about this breakup except for when i encountered her to get my things that last weekend.
I feel like i'm two different people: One who cares deeply about everything i used to have, and Another who couldn't care less about it if he tried. I don't know if i should be thankful that the break-up went easily or if i should be worried that I'm not over this yet. How can I go from using her gifts and seeing her picture every day and feeling nothing to seeing her in person and falling apart? I've TRIED to feel sad about breaking up with my Ex, i remember everything and tell myself it will never be that way again, its like i can't convince myself that I lost something important. Its like i forgot how to sense my feelings when i'm not with her.
I just don't know anymore... How should i feel? this just doesn't seem normal. :( (link)
|
What you're doing is grieving the loss of this relationship. And you're doing what most grieving people do - compartmentalizing. You "wall off" those feelings of grief, and you only experience them at certain moments or under certain circumstances (like going over to her place). Then when you experience the feelings, it's super-intense because you're not letting it out a little at a time, all the time.
So yes, this is "normal," in the sense that a lot of people do this. But it will take longer for you to get over her if you keep those feelings locked up. Talk to a friend or maybe a therapist about it, let yourself cry some more. It'll speed up the process.
|
|
my friend kimma is going through alot of problems right now. First of all she likes girls and she is 31 years old and iam 21 years old I know age difference. I go to a mental health center every day and i met her sister margie there and then I started going to margies to spencd the night and her sister kimma and I became really close and her sister moved out a few months ago and promised to help pay the bills and now she's says she's not doing it anymore and kimma has a 9 year old little girl to take care of with no income at all and it hard to find a job during the christmas holidays and plus she's having to worry about how she is going to take care of her little girl and her sister is going around calling everybody at the center telling them what is going on between her and her sister plus she is telling them bullshit about kimma smoking pot in front of her little girl when I know margie was the one smoking it and not kimma what should I do to help them? (link)
|
There's important information missing in your question
1)what is "going on between [Kimma] and her sister?" Is it something important?
2) Where is the father of Margie's child, and why isn't he helping out? Can he be compelled to pay child support?
3)Why is it a problem that Kimma is spreading rumors about Margie at the center? Is Margie dependent on them for something?
4) Are you able to take Margie in temporarily if she gets evicted or her heat gets turned off? Is that an option?
Is Margie on disability or some other sort of state assistance? If not, is she eligible to apply?
If we know these things, I think we may be able to offer advice. There's some advice contained in these questions already, actually. Anyway, hope that helps, and definitely consider re-posting your question with more information. Good luck!
|
|