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I hooked up with my friend and now he's avoiding me.
Okay, so here's the thing. I have a good friend and we've toyed with the idea of hooking up and after a year, we finally did. Now he would usually be online on IM and after a few days, I noticed he hasn't been going online so I decided to see if he was just in invisible mode. It kept saying he was online, but he appears offline to me. So I figured, he must be avoiding me. I don't understand why he's acting this way when we both made it clear to each other that we don't want to get into a relationship and it won't turn to anything serious. He's a good friend because we talk about anything under the sun, even random nonsensical things and I kind of miss that and I really would like us to still be friends. It's been 3 weeks now.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is exactly why they say not to "cross the line" with a good friend. Awkwardness ensues, especially if one develops feelings for the other that the other doesn't reciprocate. That may be what's happened here, or he may be afraid that you'll start wanting more from the relationship than he does.
But you may be able to get back to where you were. Write him an email and tell him he HAS to respond. Make it brief; just say you had a good time, but you wouldn't have done it if you knew he was going to disappear on you as a result. Tell him you want to resume your friendship, and that it's probably a good idea if you don't hook up again. That may set his mind at ease.
If not - well, maybe he's just oversensitive and too easily freaked out! If that's the case, you two would probably have eventually gone your separate ways anyway. Best of luck.
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Reason #567 why you don't hook up with friends. Sex is for lovers, not friends. Maybe you thought it was clear, but he was just saying what he thought you wanted to hear. And now he feels hurt that it was just casual. Or maybe he just feels weird about it and doesn't know what to say. Or maybe he regrets it. You won't know unless you ask him, just be prepared for an answer you may not want to hear.
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