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sophomore year of college is terrible
I'm a sophomore in college. I dorm. I'm unhappy.
I'm just in such a rut. I'm unhappy. Let me just say that my freshman year was awesome. I had a blast. I had a great roommate and the people that lived on my floor all hung out, even though we tended to do our own thing. My suitemates and I didn't really love going out that much, everyone on our floor usually just hung out and drank in someones room. By 2nd semester I was getting sick of this. I wanted to get out and meet more people. People always made comments about how we didn't go out. I didn't really care.
Now it's my sophomore year. I barely see the people from our floor from last year, everyone lives in different places.. I only have my roommate. The building we're in, nobody talks. Everybody has their own group of friends and nobody makes an effort. I'm miserable. I seriously have no friends. I'm not used to this. I've always had no problem making friends in high school. It's really cutting into my self esteem. I feel like shit. I joined a sport this semester because I thought it'd help and I'd definitely make friends. Nope. The girls are so cliquey. They all were best friends from last year/live with eachother/go out together. I tried but it's just awkward, i feel like I'm being fake. i know they don't give a shit if I come to practice or not. I'm not used to this at all. I feel worthless. Mind you, I go to a huge school. Our class size is 300+ lecture halls. I see new people everyday, and everyone is always on their own schedule not trying to make friends while sitting in class. I have no friends.
And I feel like my roommate holds me back. She hates going out. We both make jokes all the time about how we're our only friends. I'm sick of it. I need more friends. I have so many acquaintances but not a set group of friends. At home, I'm used to having my group of friends that are willing to have complete fun, be myself around, and hang out together whenever. I love my roommate but being with the same person literally every hour of the day, and no one else, get's lonely and boring.
And additionally I don't even know what my major is yet. I want to transfer schools. I'm afraid to start ALL OVER as a junior though. I feel like the whole meeting friends thing will be even harder. It just sucks because as a sophomore everyone already has their set group of friends. I'm just so lonely and I don't know what to do. It really makes me want to drop out of college, not knowing what I'm doing with my life and hating my school.
I don't know, I just need an opinion from someone. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, but it's really just all cutting into my self esteem. I've tried, and it's just making me feel like I'm incapable of making friends/meeting people.
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i'm in a similar position (sophomore, pretty much friendless). long story short, this was not my 1st choice school, i was placed in a dorm w/ ppl i had little to nothing in common w/, and was extremely depressed first quarter. made good friends w 3 of my hallmates by the end of the year but the 2 that i was closest to ended up not coming back this year, leaving me w/ one friend who has a bf and is part of his social circle now. i kinda want to transfer, but for the same reasons you have, i'm reluctant. The ONLY way i've kept myself sane this year is by distracting myself: being busy, getting a job, and focusing on the few friends that i have here and keeping in touch w/ friends from home.
For your situation, i think the best thing would be to get a job. at the very least, you'll make money and get out of your room. most likely, you'll make friends w/ a few of your coworkers as well (i have). Another thing-if something sounds interesting, DO IT. take PE classes, join a club or sport, or even just start going to the gym or running. i joined this yoga class and have come to really love it! i've even met a couple people through it. when you join an activity like that, you automatically already have something in common w/ the other people there and you'll see them regularly. Consider studying abroad, also. It'll give you a complete change of scenery, force you to put yourself out there, and would likely be a great experience all-around. Whatever you do, try to seem happy and be friendly, people are drawn to that. hope things get better :)
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I found myself in similar "ruts" in college at various points, but it always got better. The trick is to find new scenes - different activities, locations and so forth. A change of dorm can make a HUGE difference (I recommend smaller, older dorms if your campus has them); so can joining a couple of clubs on a sort of probationary basis, and sticking with the ones you like. One thing to remember is that you may not like EVERYONE in a given floor, club, group, etc., but you'll probably find some people you do like. Concentrate on individuals, not whole dorms, floors, teams, etc.
At a big school, it's easy to get lost and feel alone. But as long as you keep looking and try new things, it's just as easy to suddenly find yourself in a whole new social scene! Best of luck, and I know you'll make it!
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Hmmm..this is a tough one. Many college students experience the feelings you're experiencing in their freshman year. You sound so down and despondent and I honestly wish I had some magic advice to help you. One thing I can say is please, please don't allow other people's actions to dictate how you feel about yourself. If those cliquey girls don't want to let you in then forget them. Who wants a bunch of fake friends anyway? I would suggest not giving up joining groups and such. Check out the boards in your house or commons to see what's going on at the college. You also state you're thinking about deciding on what your major should be. Talk to an advisor, that's what they're there for. You're paying very good money to attend that college, put them to work for you. If you settle on a major that isn't given (or maybe isn't that great) at your current college then don't be afraid to transfer. Many sophmores begin to have doubts about what they're studying and opt to switch majors or even schools. But, if you are planning on transferring I'd make a point of visiting (maybe even an overnight?) to get a real feel for the atmosphere. What is going on at your current college may just not be a good fit for you and you might be happier elsewhere. I hope in some small way this helps. Good luck!
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