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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
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Last Update: August 15, 2011
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Am from India...My uteres seems to be small and I have syst in my overy due to tht the egg cant able to break... do i and my husband can keep sex and we have to postpond tht .... (link)
If you were to get pregnant, the size of your uterus should not matter much. The uterus does expand as the baby grows, obviously.

The cyst on your ovary may or may not be a problem. Your doctor can usually decide from the size of it, if others are present, and if your periods are not regular. Most ovarian cysts do not require treatment. Some require the usage of hormonal pills (usually birth control pills) or even surgery. Try to cut down on eating sugars and sweets. Eat more whole foods.

You certainly should be able to continue having intercourse and trying to make a baby; however, if you question it then you need to speak with your doctor. If your doctor has advised you to refrain from sexual intercourse then do so. We're not doctors here and we don't know your medical history so do as your doctor prescribes.


so like, im a guy and all right, and im really young, im about to turn 20. not that it matters with this question
but for some reason, often, whatever i eat turns up in my shit, and its nasty.
like a month ago, i ate cotton candy icecream at Cold Stone and my shit was neon blue. And yesterday i had Chipotle and this morning when i went to shit there was corn in the shit and some bits of salsa. n kits kinda nasty i mean, you know. And it wasnt even digested corn or chewed corn... it was like fresh from the fridge corn. Like it was perfect. And last week my roomate cooked brocolli and carrots and when i shitted there were litttle sprouts in the shit. I mean, i dont have diarrhea or anything, my shit is fresh, but for some reason, whatever i eat turns up in my shit. I didnt wanna look at it to see what was wrong, so i took my digital camera and me and my roomate took a pic of it with our eyes closed. So i uploaded it on my computer and zoomed in on the delicious stuff in the shit to see exactly what it was. And me and my roomate were like thats gross dude.
Is tehre something wrong with me or my diet, or is it like some kind of disease. Because im not fat or anything, i work out alot with my roomate and all the girls check us out... so i dont think its my health, but im not sure........ (link)
Well, the blue coloring isn't anything to be TOO alarmed about because it depends heavily upon the dye they've used to color it, how much you consumed of it, and how much "other" foods and liquids you had consumed. No big deal. It happens.

For example, on St. Patrick's Day so many people get drunk off of the "green beer" that is so popular. You know...most of those drunken people will end up urinating funny colors for the next day or two.

However, there was a king once upon a time who experienced blue stools. I don't recall which king and what disorder it was but he did die of it. You'd be experiencing more frequent blue color stools than once every now and again though and it wouldn't be necessarily tied to food coloring that was consumed.

Corn is digestible, but the outer bit of it (the yellow stuff that actually surrounds the "meat" of the kernel) is not. You have to really grind down that yellow bit to get it to pass through your system properly. I wouldn't be too alarmed to be finding corn in your stool.

And, while it may look like a whole kernel, it probably isn't. As it passes through the digestive tract, it very well can become "filled" again with waste products. That being said, it can appear to be whole and completely undigested.

The problem that really exists is this:

"...last week my roomate cooked brocolli and carrots and when i shitted there were litttle sprouts in the shit."

This is not normal. Broccoli and carrots are digestible. You should never be seeing anything like this in your stool because your body CAN and WILL break down this, as another user here as said, roughage. If your body wasn't able to break down such a thing then every vegetarian on the planet would be shitting carrots and spinach leaves. It's utterly retarded to say it's normal to find "roughage" in your stool because it's considered fiber.

I eat a fair amount of vegetation. For awhile, I ate A LOT of vegetation and practically lived off of raw broccoli, green onions, bell peppers, etc. FYI: I never looked in the toilet and thought, "Oh, salad!"

Being overweight doesn't mean there has to be a problem with digestion. Average size and thin people can experience major problems with the ability to break down whole foods. Weight isn't a factor here. Your digestive system is the issue.

So, if I were you, I would see a doctor and explain the situation. For some reason your body isn't doing what it should do with whole foods. While it may not be a problem now, it can cause health issues in the future as you age.

See your doctor.
Explain the situation.
Heck, bring the photo for a visual for him/her to see and discuss with you.
Monitor what you eat and drink and what your stool appear like (log it -- bring it to the doctor with you).


I've been seeing things but some people say its Tannipu and its Fasha,but I believe Fasha is Goku and Raditz's mother.Is that true?? Im a big DBZ FAN!!!! (link)
Goku's mother is thought to be Fasha, who made a few appearances in Bardock: Father of Goku. This is not certain, though. Here's a quote from Fasha's page:

"The prospect of Fasha being the biological mother of Goku and Raditz is the source for debate amongst the Dragon Ball fanbase. However, there are several discrepancies that contradict this, as it appeared Goku was born around the time she and the rest of Bardock's crew were attacking Kanassa. Also, when she mentions Bardock's son, she doesn't acknowledge that Goku is her son. The fact that it was mentioned on Kanassa that Goku had been born just yesterday while Fasha was fighting on the planet also tends to support that she wasn't his mother. Fasha would have most likely gone to see Goku with Bardock. However, it appears that until someone involved with the franchise finally reveals art or information about Goku's mother, the speculation about Fasha and her relationship with Bardock and Goku will continue to be left open, though both sides of fans have their own reasons and support, for against or with."

Fasha's page:

http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Fasha

Read more about the mother issue:

http://dragonball.wikia.com/index.php?title=Forum:Mothers%3F%3F&t=20110309221752

True answer: certainty unknown.


15/f

So, I'm not sure if this is anything to worry about or not so I thought I'd ask.. Well, it's kind of like I'm sick but it hurts some where different every day. It seemed to have started a few weeks ago when all I did for like 3 days was sleep. If I wasn't at school I was sleeping. I was just exhausted. Then sometime last week, in class we were reading from our novel and my right shoulder started to hurt and the right side by my upper ribs had a very sharp pain in it every time a took a deep breathe so I was taking very short brief breathes. I even tried taking a really deep breathe but it was too painful and my vision started to fuzz so I stopped. Eventually, that stopped. Then like the next day, I was laughing and my back started hurting really bad whenever I laughed. Also, I rarely ever get headaches but I've been getting a few lately nothing really painful but still. Different parts of my body have been hurting, like one day it'll be my back the next my neck it's always different.

Everyday, I usually jog around the block for approximately 30-60 minutes and I just found I get really bad cramps so I've been walking the majority of it. I'm 5'1 and around 110 pounds. So I'm at a healthy weight. I don't think it has anything to do with my period, since I'll be expecting my next one in about two weeks.

So what could it be? Anything to worry about? (link)
There are a remarkable amount of things that could be going on here. Some of which are very simple to fix, such as being low on some sort of vitamin (and taking a daily multivitamin may help); however, since what you're experience can be early signs of very, very serious illnesses you need, absolutely need, to talk with you doctor about this. Have your doctor check you out and do some bloodwork to see what's going on.

Any time something doesn't feel "okay" then it's your body trying to tell you that something is NOT okay. Listen to your body. It wouldn't be acting weird or hurting if you didn't need to worry. Please, speak with your doctor.


can you get std's if you and your partner lose your virginity to each other?
(link)
Yes.

Virgins can have STDs.

You'd be surprised at how many people grow up with things like herpes, passed along innocently from their parents (diaper changes, during delivery, innocent kisses, etc.) and never know they have the STD. This is how things like herpes is spread so widely. People don't realize they're infected because they think the symptoms are something all humans go through since they've never had sex.

Protect yourself and have yourself and your partner screened first. It isn't the most sexiest thing to ask of your partner, but it's definitely the wisest.

Remember, it's YOUR body and YOUR life. You have to care for yourself because if you don't...who will?


i started birth control last week and on thursday and i had unprotected sex. he ejaculated in me and i didnt take my birth control that night.. and i forgot to take my birth control like twice or once after that. and im only on the second week. my real question is that i guess i dont know how birth control works if i doubled up will i not be pregnant and if i keep taking it will i not get pregnant from that incident? (link)
It does appear you have absolutely no idea what birth control is suppose to do.

Hormonal birth control pills stop the body from ovulating. They also tend to thicken the cervical mucus and thin the lining of the uterus. This means:

No egg is released from the ovary so that fertilization cannot occur.

The cervical mucus is too thick for sperm to travel.

The uterine lining is to thin to support the attachment of a newly fertilized egg.

Now, birth control pills aren't 100% effective. They're dramatically reduced in effectiveness if you have to double up. They're even more reduced in that effectiveness if you have to double up more than once or twice in a month. They're practically ineffective during the first few weeks (or month) of use.

Why?

Because of ovulation.

Ovulation is what your body does normally. It's natural for your body to release an egg from an ovary so that it may become fertilized. Missing a pill lets your hormones, which are telling the ovaries not to release an egg, drop. That drop, and the spike when you double-up, can cause an ovary to release an egg.

So, being so early into taking the pill, you pretty much weren't protected when you had intercourse. It is very, very important to follow the instructions in the pamphlet.

Doubling up your birth control pills is very unlikely to kill your unborn. I don't know how many girls I've read about taking multiple pills in hopes of killing their babies but...it doesn't happen. The hormones weren't designed to kill living things inside of the female body. For years women have been scared that hormonal birth control pills would hurt their babies and for years doctors have said it won't cause a miscarriage and that as soon as they realize they are pregnant that they should stop taking birth control (because, after all, it is giving an odd fluctuation of unnatural hormones) but that it isn't likely to cause a death.

So, continue to keep taking them.

On time.

Regularly.

Buy a watch and set a timer to it if you have to. Anything.

This is your life we're talking about. Your future. Your body. If you can't take the time to swallow one pill each day then maybe you should consider not having sexual intercourse.


Hi,
I have been having acne problems for about a year and a half now mainly in my forehead, t-zone, side of faces, my chin, nose and under my eyes as well as my neck so basically everywhere.

It was light acne at first but I got a fringe and it got really bad so I began clipping back my hair. And I got prescribed medicine--- Zineryt --- from the doctors, I had that for 5-6 weeks and it helped quite a bit on my forehead although not on my chin at all but some spots are still visible on my forehead. I have very sensitive skin and My current cleanser is Clearisil. So I am wondering If anyone knows how to get rid Of acne or anything good products that work. I was also wondering if Pantothen or Proactive work? (link)
Acne could very well be overactive oil-producing pores, clogged pores, or hormone-related. If you're young, it is likely hormonal related.

And, before I begin, I heard that Proactive doesn't really work long-term. I have no experience with it myself.

Using an astringent can cause your pores to go into overdrive in producing more oils. The skin is suppose to be ever so slightly oily. The oil is produced so that the skin doesn't crack and break, which would let harmful bacteria and germs in. It makes sense.

So, when you are using something with alcohol in it, sure, it dries out the skin. But, then, the skin "panics" and starts to over-produce the oils, thinking that, obviously, there is something that is overly drying and that it needs to compensate for that. You get into a vicious cycle of NEEDING to use alcohol.

A better way to go about this is something more natural.

Gather up some super cheap ingredients:

- Epsom salt
- Castor oil
- *other* oil (choose from jojoba, sweet almond, sunflower, or extra virgin olive oil)
- Noxzema (original)
- 1 Washcloth
- 1 Small bowl
- Toilet paper or cotton pads
- Green tea (NOT the pre-bottled kind but the tea-bag kind; whatever green tea bags you prefer)
- Warm-to-hot water

Bedtime routine:

1. Run warm-to-hot water in your sink. As the water is warming, pour a little castor oil in your hand and a little *other* oil. The castor oil is pretty thick and that's why you need to mix it with another oil, just a little bit. Once you have both oils in your hand, rub your hands together to warm them and then start massaging this oil directly into your face. Massage in circular motions for 3 to 5 minutes.

2. Dip your washcloth into the warm-to-hot water in your basin. Squeeze out excess and place the cloth on your face to help pull some of the oil off. Let it lay on your face until it cools. Repeat 2 more times (3 times with a warm washcloth on your face total).

3. Take the washcloth and rinse it well. Do not apply soap. Just rinse it in warm water. Then, gently wipe your face (do NOT scrub) to remove the oils. No soap! No scrubbing! Wipe from the bottom of your face upward. Just wipe the face off, basically.

4. Run a small amount of hot water in the bowl. Pour a good amount epsom salt in this and mix the solution for 1 to 2 minutes. Dip the toilet paper in small pieces in to this solution and place it directly on your face, salt and all. Cover your face with the toilet paper (or cotton pads) soaked in the epsom salt water. Go to bed. Sleep with this on your face all night. Do this for 5 days.

*4. After 5 days, do not sleep with the paper or cotton on your face any more. You can put the water-and-epsom salt directly on your face after 5 days and sleep with it drying like that or just rinse your face in the solution before bedtime.

Morning:

* Put some water on the stove to warm for tea while you do the following.

1. Remove the paper or cotton from your face. Rinse the face with cool water.

2. Apply Noxzema on your face. Let it sit for 5 minutes. Rinse well in warm (not hot!) water.

3. Pat the face dry.

4. Take the warm water from the stove, pour it into a tea cup (or whatever you use for tea) and place 1 green tea bag in it. Let it steep for 2 minutes. Remove the tea bag, place it on a saucer or some place to cool. You can drink the tea if you'd like (green tea is really good for you so I suggest you do drink it; however, if you don't like it you might want to put a little HONEY in it--not sugar, not faux-sugar--but honey. It really is pleasant then).

5. After the tea bag as cooled to where it isn't going to burn you or hurt, wipe it onto your face, all over. This is a natural toner and will seep into your skin to help break up some of the stuck oils that may be blocking the glands or causing an overproduction from other pores. So, wipe your face all over with the green tea bag. Let your face dry completely.

6. After your face as dried, take just a LITTLE *other* oil and warm it between your fingers. Apply it to your face, just a very small amount, all over to soak in and help keep things lubricated. You don't need much at all! If you put too much on you'll have to let the skin absorb it before going out or you'll look oily.

7. Apply your make-up, if you wear it, as usual. Remember to change your make-up frequently to keep bacteria from growing in it.

Once a week MAXIMUM (can do this less if you'd like):

1. Use the epsom salt as a facial scrub in the shower. Do not scrub harshly, just very lightly. Do not use other facial scrubs.
Just wet the hands and rinse the face. Pour a little epsom salt into the hands, lightly go over the face with it, wash it off, put Noxzema on as usual, rinse, pop out of the shower and continue with your normal routine with the green tea and the oil method.
The things like apricot scrub (most popular) is actually very, very damaging to the skin because the tiny bits of the apricot "scrape" the pores with rough, jagged, sharp edges. That, you do not want!


The castor oil will help the body expel the stuck-in oils. The epsom salt helps to continue to pull those oils out during the night (the tissue/cotton is to help the oils settle on the paper/cotton and not the top of your skin!). The Noxzema is a gentle cleanser that won't take all of the natural oils from the skin. The green tea will help soak in and break up clogged pores. The *other* oil will help the skin to stay lubricated so it doesn't need to produce a large amount of oil.

The first two weeks you might notice something odd:

A large amount of oil
A large amount of whiteheads

The oil might be increased as blocked pores open back up and get use to functioning again. This, again, should only last the first couple of weeks as your skin re-balances.

The whiteheads may appear as the castor oil and epsom salt bring out gunk stuck deep in the skin. This, again, should only last the first couple of weeks. These whiteheads can easily be popped (gently!) and, then, after popping them you should apply tea tree oil. If you don't pop them, the epsom salt will get rid of them as you continue the method.

After about a month you may choose to not even go this routine constantly. You can do this once a week or every few days and keep up good results. Give it a month and see what happens from there. Then alter the method to suit your skin needs.

You may get to the point where you can just dab some wet epsom salt on a new pimple and it'll dry up overnight. No need for harsh chemicals or name-brand products that take days to dry up a pimple and leave the skin unbalanced! :)

Final note: NEVER NEVER NEVER put very hot water on your face. Never. You WILL wind up with those ugly red broken veins. It isn't healthy for the skin. It's harmful and it hurts. Do not do it. Steaming your face too frequently (more than once every two or three weeks) will also lead to ugly broken capillaries on the face. Don't do it. Seriously. It is NOT worth it. Instead of forcing the pores to open like that, use the above remedy. Forcing them open with very hot water or constant steam is just asking for something you won't be able to fix without cosmetic surgery/treatment.


im 16 and i had only done it once but when i did it i just bleed a little. my friends and i were tlakin about this today and they said that they bleed a lot? is it true? and they were saying that i might be still a virgin. so wait i dont get it!. em i still a virgin? or wat?.. and my boyfriend and i feel is time for to have sex. em i gonna bleed a lot this time or wat?... helpp me plizz!! ;) (link)
Just for a note in regards to the other user's advice below, there is NO(!) "technical" version of a virgin. I can actually explain this further (yes, be prepared for my short informational rant):

Unfortunately, there is no true medical definition for virginity. This leads people to run with their own ideas. Instead, let's pick up a real dictionary:


As per Webster's Dictionary:

Virginity:

- the quality or state of being virgin


Virgin:

- an absolutely chaste young woman

- a person who has not had sexual intercourse

- a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity


Chaste:

- celibate

- pure in thought and act


Celibacy:

- abstention from sexual intercourse


Sexual Intercourse:

- 1: heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis

- 2: intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis


Putting those definitions together to form accurate information:

Virginity refers to a person who has abstained from vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse.

As per some Wikipedia knowledge:

A virgin (or maiden) originally meant a woman who has never had sexual intercourse. Virginity is the state of being a virgin. It is derived from the Latin virgo, which means "sexually inexperienced woman"


No such thing as "technical" virginity. Your hymen does not make you a virgin. Period!


It's extremely likely (as in, I'd put money on it) that your hymen was just very elastic if you've never noticed (or very little) blood in your panties that could be related to a broken hymen during another activity. Some women have very elastic hymens that will just stretch during sex, rather than rip, tear, and bleed.

Most hymens already do have a hole in them. If you were born with an imperforated (no hole) hymen then the doctor would have created a small surgical opening when you were an infant. Think of it like this: how else would your menstrual fluid escape if there was no natural hole, right? Most women are born with the hole. If they weren't, a small hole is created so that they can grow into healthy adults.

The hymen is thin but is fairly elastic any way. Younger women tend to have more elastic hymens. Some women have such a flexible hymen that it will just stretch out to accommodate a partner.

Usually what happens is that the hole is too small to accommodate a full-sized penis. The male inserts into the vagina and during this, or the thrusting that follows, the hymen cannot stretch any more and will just rip, leaving along a trail of blood from the "injury."

Like I said though, not everyone is made the exact same. Your hymen was probably just more elastic, stretched out fine to accommodate your partner(s), and may never actually rip or tear (although, during childbirth it's likely it will--not that you'll actually feel it at the time).

So, no, you aren't some sort of "technical virgin." You also really shouldn't be concerned. Your body just stretched easier. That's all.

And, yes, it's likely your hymen has widened enough that it's visually noticeable that you've had sex. Instead of having a small hole in your hymen, you probably have a little bit larger one now. No big deal. Still looks like a vagina.

So, your "cherry" has been "popped" but instead of it ripping/tearing, it was just stretched a lot. Voila. Not a virgin.


Ok so me and my boyfriend had an amazing easter together. He invited me to his family reunion and i got to meet all of them for the first time. It was great I loved it. Then we had to leave because there was a tornado. And I was scared because we were driving through it. Then I felt save with him. He finally dropped me home.

Then the next day he talks to this girl on facebook. I get mad because I thought he loved me. I know it was stupid I was just a little mad though. We were going to hang out Tuesday since I had work on Monday. Then he tells this other girl about me and how I overreacted about it. So she's like I'm gonna piss her off and write on your wall and flirt with you. And he was ok with that because he didn't stop her. Then I get home and read it and I get so mad. I couldn't control my anger. He was telling me I had anger issues. I told him I was mad at him because he didn't need to make me madder than I already was.

Then I said I'm gonna block you. He didn't want me to block him. Then I ignored him for 2 hours. He finally talked to me and said there was nothing going on between the two girls. He loves me. And the thing that really pissed me off was he's like "I love that you care about it" and I said I don't fu*cking care about you anymore. He got mad and I dissed him more. Then he's like Goodbye, I'll miss you so much.

I didn't respond because I thought it wasn't real.
It's been 2 days straight. He blocked me on facebook, on skype, deleted my number (one of my friends told me that) and he just hasn't talked to me.

I know it's both of our faults. I know he was sick of the relationship. I know it's over between us. That was just the stupidest way to end it over a text.

I'm really strong about it because I've been hanging out with my friends and trying to move on because I want to he's a bad guy for me. He unblocked me on facebook today but we're not friends.

I know he wants nothing to do with me but I really miss him. I wish it didn't have to end...especially this way...

What do I do? I know I have to move on but I love him so much, I can't stand life without him. It's hard. I was with him for almost 2 years I want to be in a relationship with someone who really loves me. Because he never came back :'(

please understand. (link)
This is totally not what you really want to hear but...

Are you crazy?

"And by the way I was acting like a total b**ch that day. Don't men love bi**hes????."

No man wants to be stepped all over. That isn't how it works.

In my 24 years alive, I have NEVER met a man who wanted to be with a bitch. NEVER!

Men are with bitches because bitches are easy. They don't love them. They end up leaving them for someone else. That is why bitches have men. Because men want sex and bitches think they're in control so they give it up easy.

NO(!) man wants to actually be with a bitch.

You never, ever want to be a bitch.

"...I ignored him for 2 hours."

And...what? You thought showing him that you had "control" over him would make him chase after you harder? That isn't how healthy relationships work.

I don't know who told you that men like for women to have all control in a relationship, but you actually caused this yourself.

"...I said I don't fu*cking care about you anymore."

If my guy told me that then I'd ASSUME the relationship was over. I'd assume he was breaking up with me. I'd also be all like, "Man, this guy is an asshole!" How does it feel when someone you -love- tells you that they don't care about you? Pretty hurtful. Those are serious words that people don't throw around lightly.

What it sounds like is this:

"My boyfriend chatted with a girl. I wanted to bitch and complain about it so that I could feel powerful over him in the relationship. So, I threw a fit. The girl thought it was stupid and made the situation public so I virtually-spat in my boyfriend's face and completely ignored him for HOURS. Then, when he got fed up after I said no longer cared about him...he dumped me!"

Now, think about this:

You talk to a boy online. Innocently enough. Your boyfriend gets all pissy about it and over-reacts. The guy think it's a stupid idea and jokingly says something on your FaceBook that is flirty to get another laugh. You think your boyfriend is over-reacting too, and figure he'll come to his senses after a small discussion over: "Adults have non-sexual relationships with members of the opposite gender and that's okay." Instead, he decides to yell at you and then ignores you for hours while you wait, anxious for him to realize he's being dumb. So, how long do you wait for your obviously-immature boyfriend to come around and say, "Hey, sorry about that. I totally overreacted and made a fool of myself, starting drama for absolutely no reason. I know you're faithful and that you love me. Please forgive me."

The answer is: you don't. If someone can't realize that men and women can be FRIENDS then why waste your time waiting for them to mature?

Look, the guy LOVES you. You (-you-) hurt him. You hurt his feelings. You treated him like a dog. You wouldn't like someone to treat -you- that way, so why do you treat your partner like that?

I mean, the fact alone that he gave you the ability to look at his FaceBook messages is a lot. If he wanted to hide the conversation with the girl, don't you think he would have done it some place where you wouldn't be able to read it? Come on. Think about it. The guy isn't sneaking around on you.

If you love this guy, you need to apologize.

If you want to be with this guy, you need to apologize.

Hell, if you don't want to be with this guy, you NEED TO APOLOGIZE!

And you need to NOT be a bitch. For real. Nobody likes bitches. You don't like being friends with bitches. I don't like being friends with bitches. No man wants to have a real relationship with a woman who thinks she's in control, steps all over his feelings, and treats him like shit. Nobody really wants a bitch.

Apologize.
Change.

This is something -you- did, unfortunately. The problem isn't that he didn't come back. The problem is that you overreacted, you treated him like trash, you told him you didn't care about him, you told him you wanted to block him. You, essentially, ended it. You need to change your ways. You need to apologize to the guy, either way, and say, "Hey, I take full blame for being a total bitch and overreacting the other day. I treated you like dirt and it was wrong of me to do. If you had treated me like that, I would've done the same thing. I'm sorry for not treating you better. I hope you accept my apology because I know I hurt your feelings."

I know you're probably young and you don't understand what you've done here, but it's pretty serious since you seem to not even have the ability to grasp what has happened.

"I know it's both of our faults. I know he was sick of the relationship."

It's only both of your faults if something really was going on with the other girl he chatted with.

And, heck, if someone treated you the way you've treated him...could you really blame them for getting "sick" of the relationship?

And, for note, you don't bring your girl to a family reunion when you're "sick of the relationship." Food for thought there.

I hope things work out between you two. It's sad to throw 2 years down the drain because you're under some stupid impression that you need to treat someone badly for them to love you.


im having a baby but i dont know if i should get an abortion. someone please help me (link)
Keep your baby alive. Give him/her a chance.

Your baby is innocent. He/she didn't do anything wrong. Murder is for punishment, not for convenience. Your baby is alive inside of you. He/she is comfortable and feels secure. He/she trusts "Mommy" to keep him/her safe--not to rip it's body apart out of fear of ruining the rest of your life.

Abortion is down right horrifying and I have the proof below!:

http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957

In case you don't feel like opening that link, I will copy and paste the information into this:




"Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus.

I know it comes down to your body, your life, and possibly even your mistake. I am truly only concerned for your well-being.

Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they realize that they have stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the date the child would have been born haunts many women. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.

I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:

http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm

Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.

I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:

http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm

...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.

Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.

Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:

http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/

Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY

Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).

Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.

Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm

...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm

...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:

http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html

Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:

http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx

Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress. The same goes for the opposite--there are adoption agencies that won't inform you of anything about the baby if you do not want to know more than that you were pregnant with it at some point.

Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.

Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion."




I think you should keep your child alive. As you may be thinking if you do not then you will regret it. Feeling that you might regret something long before you do it is a big sign that it isn't the wisest choice. Many women will say they will "never" have an abortion but one day wind up doing it--only to feel regret for their actions and wish they could take them back.

Relax and take everything in. This is you and your baby we are talking about. An abortion doesn't just last 20 minutes, an hour, three days, or one doctor's visit--it lasts the rest of your life. You risk being physically broken. You risk being mentally broken.

After being so selfish in this mistake (because sex when no prepared is selfish, you have to admit...) doesn't the baby at least deserve a chance? I think so...

Aborting isn't going to make everything magically better. Trust me.

There are plenty of young, single mothers out there making it. There are plenty of young women who have given up their babies to good people that were looking to adopt (and, if you are looking to give the baby up for adoption--I am offering a loving home right here with me). There is hope for your child. You can do this without stopping another heart.

I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best. My inbox is always open if you have questions! :)


Please help me get rid of my pimples in a cheap way! I have very sensitive skin and I already use skin astringent and st.ives but the pimples wont go away! They mostly come up around my nose and it is SOOOOO embarressing! What should I do to make them leave and stay away??? (link)
It actually doesn't mean you have poor hygiene. It could very well be overactive oil-producing pores, clogged pores, or hormone-related.

Using an astringent can cause your pores to go into overdrive in producing more oils. The skin is suppose to be ever so slightly oily. The oil is produced so that the skin doesn't crack and break, which would let harmful bacteria and germs in. It makes sense.

So, when you are using something with alcohol in it, sure, it dries out the skin. But, then, the skin "panics" and starts to over-produce the oils, thinking that, obviously, there is something that is overly drying and that it needs to compensate for that. You get into a vicious cycle of NEEDING to use alcohol.

A better way to go about this is something more natural.

Gather up some super cheap ingredients:

- Epsom salt
- Castor oil
- *other* oil (choose from jojoba, sweet almond, sunflower, or extra virgin olive oil)
- Noxzema (original)
- 1 Washcloth
- 1 Small bowl
- Toilet paper or cotton pads
- Green tea (NOT the pre-bottled kind but the tea-bag kind; whatever green tea bags you prefer)
- Warm-to-hot water

Bedtime routine:

1. Run warm-to-hot water in your sink. As the water is warming, pour a little castor oil in your hand and a little *other* oil. The castor oil is pretty thick and that's why you need to mix it with another oil, just a little bit. Once you have both oils in your hand, rub your hands together to warm them and then start massaging this oil directly into your face. Massage in circular motions for 3 to 5 minutes.

2. Dip your washcloth into the warm-to-hot water in your basin. Squeeze out excess and place the cloth on your face to help pull some of the oil off. Let it lay on your face until it cools. Repeat 2 more times (3 times with a warm washcloth on your face total).

3. Take the washcloth and rinse it well. Do not apply soap. Just rinse it in warm water. Then, gently wipe your face (do NOT scrub) to remove the oils. No soap! No scrubbing! Wipe from the bottom of your face upward. Just wipe the face off, basically.

4. Run a small amount of hot water in the bowl. Pour a good amount epsom salt in this and mix the solution for 1 to 2 minutes. Dip the toilet paper in small pieces in to this solution and place it directly on your face, salt and all. Cover your face with the toilet paper (or cotton pads) soaked in the epsom salt water. Go to bed. Sleep with this on your face all night. Do this for 5 days.

*4. After 5 days, do not sleep with the paper or cotton on your face any more. You can put the water-and-epsom salt directly on your face after 5 days and sleep with it drying like that or just rinse your face in the solution before bedtime.

Morning:

* Put some water on the stove to warm for tea while you do the following.

1. Remove the paper or cotton from your face. Rinse the face with cool water.

2. Apply Noxzema on your face. Let it sit for 5 minutes. Rinse well in warm (not hot!) water.

3. Pat the face dry.

4. Take the warm water from the stove, pour it into a tea cup (or whatever you use for tea) and place 1 green tea bag in it. Let it steep for 2 minutes. Remove the tea bag, place it on a saucer or some place to cool. You can drink the tea if you'd like (green tea is really good for you so I suggest you do drink it; however, if you don't like it you might want to put a little HONEY in it--not sugar, not faux-sugar--but honey. It really is pleasant then).

5. After the tea bag as cooled to where it isn't going to burn you or hurt, wipe it onto your face, all over. This is a natural toner and will seep into your skin to help break up some of the stuck oils that may be blocking the glands or causing an overproduction from other pores. So, wipe your face all over with the green tea bag. Let your face dry completely.

6. After your face as dried, take just a LITTLE *other* oil and warm it between your fingers. Apply it to your face, just a very small amount, all over to soak in and help keep things lubricated. You don't need much at all! If you put too much on you'll have to let the skin absorb it before going out or you'll look oily.

7. Apply your make-up, if you wear it, as usual. Remember to change your make-up frequently to keep bacteria from growing in it.

Once a week MAXIMUM (can do this less if you'd like):

1. Use the epsom salt as a facial scrub in the shower. Do not scrub harshly, just very lightly. Do not use other facial scrubs.
Just wet the hands and rinse the face. Pour a little epsom salt into the hands, lightly go over the face with it, wash it off, put Noxzema on as usual, rinse, pop out of the shower and continue with your normal routine with the green tea and the oil method.
The things like apricot scrub (most popular) is actually very, very damaging to the skin because the tiny bits of the apricot "scrape" the pores with rough, jagged, sharp edges. That, you do not want!


The castor oil will help the body expel the stuck-in oils. The epsom salt helps to continue to pull those oils out during the night (the tissue/cotton is to help the oils settle on the paper/cotton and not the top of your skin!). The Noxzema is a gentle cleanser that won't take all of the natural oils from the skin. The green tea will help soak in and break up clogged pores. The *other* oil will help the skin to stay lubricated so it doesn't need to produce a large amount of oil.

The first two weeks you might notice something odd:

A large amount of oil
A large amount of whiteheads

The oil might be increased as blocked pores open back up and get use to functioning again. This, again, should only last the first couple of weeks as your skin re-balances.

The whiteheads may appear as the castor oil and epsom salt bring out gunk stuck deep in the skin. This, again, should only last the first couple of weeks. These whiteheads can easily be popped (gently!) and, then, after popping them you should apply tea tree oil. If you don't pop them, the epsom salt will get rid of them as you continue the method.

After about a month you may choose to not even go this routine constantly. You can do this once a week or every few days and keep up good results. Give it a month and see what happens from there. Then alter the method to suit your skin needs.

You may get to the point where you can just dab some wet epsom salt on a new pimple and it'll dry up overnight. No need for harsh chemicals or name-brand products that take days to dry up a pimple and leave the skin unbalanced! :)

Final note: NEVER NEVER NEVER put very hot water on your face. Never. You WILL wind up with those ugly red broken veins. It isn't healthy for the skin. It's harmful and it hurts. Do not do it. Steaming your face too frequently (more than once every two or three weeks) will also lead to ugly broken capillaries on the face. Don't do it. Seriously. It is NOT worth it. Instead of forcing the pores to open like that, use the above remedy. Forcing them open with very hot water or constant steam is just asking for something you won't be able to fix without cosmetic surgery/treatment.


Me and my boyfriend try to have a baby, but a lot of my friends have baby's and they tell me if my boyfriend have a low amount of sperms i can not get pregnet.... :-(
how i know if my boyfriend have a good amount of sperm to get me pregnet?????? (link)
Without going to a doctor you have no idea if the infertility problem is part of your partner's sperm count, something wrong with you reproductive organs, or something both of you two are having issues with.

You absolutely need to talk with your doctor about this.

If you have been trying to conceive for one full year and haven't been successful yet then you will be thrown into the infertile category. From there the doctor can evaluate your body (and your partner's) and look for things that may be damaged or experiencing problems.

Your partner COULD have a low sperm count. It's entirely possible. The only way to find out is for him to give a fresh sample to a doctor in an infertility clinic so that they can put it under a microscope and count the little guys.

Your partner should be ejaculating about 40 million sperm in about 2ml of fluid. 75% of those sperm need to be actively alive. 30% of those should be of normal shape and form. 25% of those should be propelling themselves forward rapidly. Overall, 50% of the sperm should be moving forward, even at a slow pace.

So, as you can see...this is really something a doctor needs to check out ;)

The odds of the reason you're not conceiving is actually about 50% yours, believe it or not. Only about 50% of couples who are infertile are such because of the male. So, you have just as much to be concerned about in regards to your own body.

There are lots of things that cause infertility, including poor health and drug use. If you've ever had any form of STD then you may even have your fallopian tubes damaged or impacted to where they are blocked and won't allow the egg to travel down. You could have scar tissue in your uterus from periods that came too close together and too long, fibroids that have grown in the uterus, cysts on the ovaries that are preventing proper ovulation, etc. If you've ever taken the morning after pill, birth control pills, or had any sort of medical procedure on your reproductive parts then things may be having trouble getting back to normal.

To find out if you are actually ovulating you can purchase over the counter ovulation predictor kits from various stores and pharmacies. You should take them for a full 6 months (which kind of turns out to be pricey but very worth it) so that you know how frequently you ovulate and when that is. It will help you conceive or help you figure out that you are: ovulating on time, too frequently, less than the normal amount, never ovulating, ovulating too late, etc.

If you are leading an unhealthy lifestyle, eating poorly, engaging in harmful activities such as smoking or drinking, or are under a lot of stress then now is the time to make those proper changes. While you are young your body does have a chance to heal and repair. As you grow older things are more likely to remain stagnant and dysfunctional. The longer you lead an unhealthy lifestyle, the more odds the damage won't be reversible.

So, talk with you doctor. Pick up some home ovulation tests. Track your menstrual cycles and ovulation cycles as per the tests. Change your lifestyle if needed. Try not to worry too much.

Your doctor may be able to offer other methods to help you conceive in the future if you are found to be infertile and they can figure out what the root cause is. For example, if you rarely ovulate they can prescribe a pill that can help your body to do what it should be doing each month and release an egg.

Lastly, all hope is never lost. I've read multiple stories about women who have tried to make babies for 10 years or more and were never successful. They gave up and just coped with the fact that they were infertile. Some 10+ years down the line they miss a period and wind up pregnant. Miracles happen and you should always look at the bright side and hope for the best.


How do I go about taking a test for becoming a csm. I have been working for Walmart for 9 months. I would like to advance in the company. (link)
There needs to be a position open to become a CSM ("Customer Service Manager") before you can really apply for the position; however, once every six months you're eligible to take a test to qualify to become a candidate for supervisor positions in the company, including CSM. So, if the position opens up then you'll be qualified to apply. Once you're qualified for the position and a spot opens up you'll need to go through a few more steps, including another "interview" of sorts.

What you'll want to do is talk to your actual manager. If you're not sure who the cashier manager is then ask a CSM, as they should already know. Ask to speak with the manager of the cashiers as soon as he or she is available.

Then express your interest to them. They will need to talk with Human Resources to get a test set up. HR will give you the opportunity to qualify once every 6 months so if you fail you'll have to wait 6 more months before trying again. It'll be on the computer just as your other training has been.

So, speak with your manager first to see if you can be scheduled for the test by HR and go from there. :)


Is this a good workout plan? If not, how can I improve it?
-1 mile run in the morning
-30 minutes of athletics in school (it's intense)
-3 mile run in the evening
-crunches, lunges, planks, ankle raises, wall sits, push ups (how many reps should I do of each?)

I'm trying to train for volleyball season in the fall, and soccer season in the winter. Is this a good routine to do everyday? If I should mix it up, how do I do that? About how much time should I devote to exercising a day if I want to lose 65 pounds in 4 months? I'll also be dieting, too. But I don't consider it a diet because I want to develop good eating habits for life. Type 2 Diabetes runs in my family, and I definitely do not want to get it. I'm 17 years old, too.

I really want to get skinnier legs (especially in the thigh area) and arms. And develop endurance! I'm currently the worst runner on my volleyball team, and by the end of this summer I want to be the best. (link)
The problem here is that losing too much weight too fast can actually be detrimental to your own health. Chances are, if you end up losing 65lbs in 4 months (or 120-ish days) you're doing something extremely unhealthy and you body is going to really have some issues.

When you lose weight you should also build muscle. This comes along with great workout plans with cardio and strength training. Muscle weighs more than fat though. If you're fat you have a lot less muscle than you should.

That means when you begin your weightloss journey you aren't going to just drop off all of the fat and that will be that. You might even see weight INCREASES at times because of muscle mass gain. It's perfectly normal, safe, and healthy. That's why it's important to ONLY weigh yourself once a month and do body measurements when you do that so you get an accurate idea of where you may have gained muscle tone and lost some squishy fat.

Health doesn't mean just getting rid of fat. You have to do it the right way without starving yourself or overworking.

Example:

You could strength train every single day. Did you know that it takes about 36 hours for your muscles to heal from tiny tears that occur during strength training? You have to rest during that period of time--or switch to cardio workouts--to let those muscles stay long and lean and not big and bulky. It also increases the strength of the muscle by giving time in between. So, while you could lose more weight faster by doing, say, strength training every day--in the end you don't get the results you're hoping for.

A safe estimate of weight you can lose per month is about 10 pounds tops. It's pretty decent to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week of healthy diet and exercise. Any more weight loss than that then you're probably losing muscle, too, unfortunately. Going into the multiple sports is not the best time to be lacking muscle power.

Losing too much weight too quickly can also increase the odds of other health problems. You can suffer an electrolyte imbalance, dehydration, and even problems with your heart.

So, your best bet is to shoot to lose about 40-ish pounds in 4 months. While you might not want to wait right now, it's the healthiest thing you can do for your body.

So, yes, it's possible, but it's far from safe or healthy.

Too much cardio or strength training is going to inhibit muscle growth. You NEED muscle to keep burning that fat. Don't kill the muscle growth by exercising too frequently. Too much of a good thing really does turn out to be bad!

Remember, you didn't get to be overweight overnight. You're not going to be at a healthy weight overnight either. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and time. It's a pretty lengthy process of ups an downs.


So, this is a long one.

I had a guy track me down on Facebook and send me a long message about how I tortured and bullied him in school.

But most of what he said I don't remember, and a lot it couldn’t have happened. I had a rather severe anxiety disorder throughout my early teens, a few years are just emotional blurs to me, but some of things he claimed I did - like speak up in class to embarrass him, or make up a nasty song about him - it’s really near impossible for me to have done. I didn’t speak in class. I started to cry or throw up when I had to make presentations. I wouldn’t speak aloud to people who weren’t my friends. I stayed inside at recess and shelved books in the library... What I DO remember is coming home violently crying because of what this boy had a habit of taking things from me and flushing them down the toilet - to the point that my mother called the school, and had my desk moved away from his.

In high school we never had a single class together and were in different academic streams. But in grade 11, he tried to make himself useful to the drama club, the rest of the stage crew holding a meeting on how to politely kick him for his incompetence and arrogance. I defended him. Sure, he’s was a bit of an ass, but he was obviously trying to be useful; we should try and create tasks for him. But the senior stage manager decided to ask him to leave. I wasn't there, and we never spoke of it.

I haven’t responded to him. I didn’t know what to say. Maybe he is confusing me with someone else as well. It doesn’t seem worth it to argue with him and tell him he has a whole bunch of it dead wrong. Maybe I should message him and say like "I’m sorry you had a tough..." What do you think? (link)
In response to feedback:

I deeply apologize if you felt I was saying you weren't going to respond to the person. I was mainly referencing other advice given because I truly didn't want you to take it and not reply to the guy. I did not mean to accuse you of not wanting to do such a thing or that you hadn't been bullied yourself.

When I reference not knowing how it feels to be bullied it's just that...some people think "being bullied" means one kid picked on them for a week. To me, being bullied is more than than that, as I suffered for majority of my, well, life being the kid everyone chose to "pick" on. Not a lot of people can relate to this feeling is all.

So, what about something in response like this:

Hi, [name]:

Thank you so much for writing to me and giving me the opportunity to address your concerns. I find it very courageous of you to finally be able to find the words to stand up to your childhood bullies. I've gone through the list of harmful things you remember and I believe you may have mistaken me for someone else. While I don't recall many of the things you're outlining, the main thing that makes me think you're referencing someone is is that my hair color was never [color], as I've always been a [blonde/brunette/redhead]. In addition to this, I also suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks, making it very difficult for me to speak outloud in front of a group of my peers at the time; however, I do recall seeing you around, but we didn't share many classes together at all and, unfortunately, I never got the chance to know you well.

That being said, if I ever did say something that wasn't okay, I want you to know I didn't mean it and that I'm very sorry for any hurt feelings that occurred. I honestly didn't intend to hurt you.

In high school I think everyone is pretty immature and relatively self-centered. A lot of people do things that they later regret. I know I've done things that I'm not proud of and I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what you had to go through during those times. I know it wasn't easy, and I've had my share of hurt feelings from people back in those days, too.

Please know that if you ever want to talk about things from high school that I'm open to it. I'm also open to helping you find the person you may be referencing in your letter because I truly feel that many of the incidences you have outlined are intended for another person. I know we didn't have the opportunity to get to know each other in school, but I'm certainly open to developing a mature, adult friendship with you now if you'd like.

Please take care of yourself,

[name]

--------------------------------------------

Not answering him is a horrible, horrible thing to do. If you weren't bullied as a child then you have absolutely no idea how it feels to be ignored when you FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY find the words to say, "Hey, that really hurt."

Respond. Seriously. Respond to him.

Don't be defensive and call him a liar or anything. But explain the situation just like you did with us here. Explain that you think he may be getting you mixed up with someone else because you, yourself, suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks, making it difficult to speak outloud in front of a group of your peers at the time. Explain that you're sorry that someone treated him that way and that you absolutely know how it feels. You may even go as far as to say you recall seeing him around school before but since you two didn't have courses together you never really got the chance to know him, and that you would have really liked to have.

If I were you, I'd probably even apologize just in case something you said at one time was hurtful. We all say hurtful things to other people some time and we may not ever even realize it (or remember it). I'm not saying you did the things he said you did--but it's possible you did say something that felt offensive at the time and he has gotten the entire situation mixed up.
"If I ever did say something that wasn't okay, I want you to know I didn't mean it and that I'm very sorry for any hurt feelings that occurred. I honestly didn't intend to hurt you."

I was bullied from kindergarten until late 10th grade/early 11th grade. I was alone in the bullying. I had no friends. I had nobody to rely on or have stick up for me. I was always the 'target' of the bullies.

While I remember most every person's name that tormented me in school, I'm sure things would get confusing if I ever decided to find each and every one of them and ask for some sort of apology. Being bullied is really, really hard for some people to get over. It scars them, if you get what I'm saying. Traumatic things can cause people to become confused and get mixed up. It's extremely possible he is just getting people mixed up at this point.

But image this:

You're bullied for years. You feel like an outcast, lonely, and like nobody on the planet will EVER like you. You struggle for years and, finally, you make it through those tough times.

You then decide that it's time you spoke up and let the people, who are now matured, know that what they did and said was very hurtful. You just want recognition that you're human. That they didn't mean it. That they were just being stupid teenagers.

You gather up that bout of courage. You write it out. You send personalized letters to the people who hurt you.

And then...they don't answer.

You'd feel like they had moved on. That all of the hurtful things you experienced...that they can't even recall them. That you are so beneath them that you don't deserve a response. That those incidents were so worthless and so "nothing" to them that they won't even give you to courtesy to say, "Hey...sorry about that. I was just a stupid teen."

It does not help the situation.

The guy needs a reply. Any reply. A reply that says the truth. A reply that addresses his feelings for once. A reply that acknowledges him as a worthy human being.

Like I said, if you weren't bullied like some people, you won't know how it feels. You can't understand what it's like to feel the lowest of low. And you would never be able to relate to finally gathering enough courage up to ask for a simple apology from the bullies.

He isn't writing you so that you won't reply. He isn't writing you so that you ignore the situation. He is writing you in hopes that you will just say you're sorry and that you did not mean to hurt his feelings. He wants the situation to be addressed. He wants to be recognized.

You don't have to get into a debate. You don't want to argue. You don't have to write letters back a forth. One fairly nice, mature, response letter back is fine so that he knows that somebody out there did get the message and that somebody out there did take the time to reply and address his concerns.

And, please, please, please don't write back and just say, "That wasn't me at all. Wrong person." I couldn't image how frustrating that sort of situation would be.

He isn't disturbed for wanting an apology back or wanting the ability to address the situation, even years after the incident(s). He's a human being with feelings. Those feelings were hurt very badly during a very sensitive time in his life.

If I had the courage to address my past bullies I would. Unfortunately, I'm too afraid that they would not address the situation at all or would write back with a, "Not me," reply. That would make me feel like a terrible human being and would be beyond frustrating.

You have to remember, some people are just more emotionally sensitive than others. Some people commit suicide now because they are bullied. Ignoring someone when they open up is one of the worst things you can do.

Be kind, be considerate, and try to understand the situation from his point of view. He may not recall the things as clearly as he should, but he is tying you to some pretty bad emotional times. Let him know that it's okay and if if you actually did say something hurtful that you didn't mean it to be that way.


I have a question about my friend Morgan who i am having an issue with. so a few weekends ago she came home from college, and she always wants me to come over, whenever we hangout, and always end up fighting because she's rude to me and she always wants everything her way. I have a few other friends but their busy most of the time, or we'll hangout like every once in a while. so she's the only one i hangout with. last weekend she wanted to hangout, but i was going out to eat with my dad. so she wanted me to come over after wards. when i was done eating i called her and our friend Elizabeth was with her, and they weren't home, and Morgan said she'd come over and pick me up, and when i asked her when she said oh i don't know, because she does everything on her own time. then when she finally came to pick me up, and in the car we were exchanging stories. Morgan has changed a lot and since she's become Christian so that's all she talks about, and when i was telling my story about something else they were both just uh huhing and smiled at each other like they don't care what i have to say. i spent the night and the next day i hung out with them and Morgan drove me to two places. then she wants me to drive her ass around town and when we get to my house we were going to have dinner but she changes her mind because the pastor called and his family wanted to have dinner with them. so i have to drive their sorry asses all the way back to my friend's house., and i am in a rush and their sitting their criticizing my driving. i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but Elizabeth kept opening the door of my car while i was driving and then on facebook, yesterday Morgan was posting stuff on Elizabeth's wall like oh i can't wait to hangout but not facing my fears with Nikita. (me) and other stuff like i can't wait to see you Friday as long as Nikita Seth isn't driving, and this is after i drove her and Elizabeth everywhere and she talks crap on facebook, i know it's not end of the world but she's really unappreciative. She thinks everything is about her and then she sits there and says oh i am Jesus lover and i am christian even though she's rude to me and makes it public on facebook about how awful my driving is like twice. And then tells me i need Jesus in my life. Maybe i am making a big deal out of it, but i think it's hypocritical of her to say anything, and she sits ther on facebook and says oh i
can't wait to see you, i mean would you call her a fake friend? sorry if this is long but i need help ASAP. (link)
Sometimes people grow out of friendships.

You've been going on and on (and ON!) about your "friends" for months now. First it was so-and-so became a Christian, which, apparently, is something you just cannot handle. Then, it's so-and-so wants to hang out with her Christian friends more than you. Then it's so-and-so doesn't give you much attention and is always wanting to watch her favorite movies with you. I mean, wow. I can't even grasp why you don't see what I see.

Please, dump them off and be done with it!

Do you know how bad this looks:

"...their sitting their criticizing my driving. i know i shouldn't have been speeding..."

You were RISKING their LIVES! And you think it is "selfish" of them to be talking to you about doing something that is ILLEGAL? I don't care if Suzy's left leg was sticking out of the window. You're the driver. You have the responsibility to drive rationally and to say, "Hey, Suzy, get your damn leg back in the car!" YOUR responsibility. I hate to break it to you but if a cop pulled you over...YOU are the one that gets the ticket, even if it's one of your passengers who is opening doors. The cop would say it was YOUR responsibility to tell your passengers to behave. Seriously. YOU.

Imagine this:

A cop pulls you over for speeding.

You explain that, yeah, you realize you were speeding and then say, "Well, Elizabeth kept opening the door!"

What do you think the cop is going to do? Is he going to say, "OH! I understand. Okay, well, I'll pretend you weren't speeding then because of stupid Elizabeth!" No. We're grown-ups here.

He's going to say, "Ma'am, you are the responsible driver in this situation. If your passenger was causing a distraction then it's your responsibility to take care of that situation for the safety of yourself and the other passengers in this vehicle." Think about it.

"...i did stop hanging out with her for a while, but i felt lonely that night."

Don't you think that sounds INCREDIBLY selfish and, well, self-centered? "I don't want to be friends with her but without her around I get really lonely and I'm the princess so I should never feel lonely!"

You are making a HUGE deal out of this. It is beyond time to let this go. If you don't like them, stop being friends with them. Seriously. There isn't ANYTHING else we can recommend at this point. NOTHING! I once recommended you talk with your friend about it and, if I recall correctly, you made it extremely clear that she was too selfish to listen to you.

So, you don't want them to be your friends?

Walk away from it. Get through the loneliness and find new friends.

We're not here to listen to your bitch, whine, and complain about a friend and then not really be seeking advice. I know I've told you at least once that if you don't like them don't be friends. You've heard it before. What else do you want us to say? We're Advicenators. Not people you come to when you want to talk shit about other people. We're here to give ADVICE.

Advice?

Stop being friends with people you don't want to be friends with! Problem solved! There is NO other advice to be given. You have made it extremely clear multiple times, for MONTHS, that you extremely dislike these people, feel like they're mistreating you, feel like they are below you, and feel like they aren't worthy of your friendship. Okay then. End the friendship(s), and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. It's your life!

I understand that it's hard to say goodbye to friendships. Trust me, I get that. I get what it's like to be unhappy with someone you feel should be a true friend to you. Trust me, I get that. I understand how difficult it is to make new friends when you have to let friendships go.

However, it's a part of being a grown up. Sometimes people go different ways and a friendship is no longer in the realm of possibility. Sometimes you just have to say, "Hey, we're completely different people. Let's move on. This friendship isn't working." It's the adult-thing to do. And, given the information from previous questions you've asked, as well as this one, it's time to grow up.

And, yeah, it isn't going to be fun or easy. Yeah, you're going to feel lonely sometimes. It's got to be done now. You're miserable. Chances are, both of these "friends" are pretty unhappy with you too, which may be why they're talking to each other about things they dislike about you (hey, you've got to realize you're doing it right here, right now, with us). It happens. It isn't fun, but it happens.

So, they're not giving you the respect you feel you deserve. You're unhappy. They're, obviously, unhappy. Why remain in this cycle? The only reasons a person would stay like this is:

1. For the drama (to be able to complain about the people later)

2. Because you're desperate (hey, everyone gets lonely)

Either way, it's not a healthy situation. You're hurting yourself here. You're over-evaluating every tiny details sometimes because the big picture is causing you a great deal of dissatisfaction. Please, please, please, just move on with life without them.


i have a herpes sore that just wont heal.could a herpes outbreak turn in to a staph infection after so much time has passed without it actually healing up? is there a such thing as a vaginal staph infection??are there vitamins that i can take to help it heal faster?? (link)
Any sore or wound can become a staph infection because it's bacterial.

Herpes is a virus that causes the lesions, or outbreaks, on your skin. These wounds are extremely vulnerable to bacteria, such as staph. If you think your sore may have developed into a staph infection then you need to see a doctor as soon as possible. I don't mean to scare you but people have died from staph infections.

In regards to vitamins you can take to help reduce the symptoms of a herpes outbreak...yes. One user here already suggested L-lysine. Unfortunately, some of that information is incorrect.

If you choose to take something like L-lysine for your outbreak then you absolutely can NOT take it every single day and expect the same results. Unfortunately, the body builds a sort-of immunity to L-lysine if taken every day and it's positive effects on the virus is diminished. It's a routine you have to get into if you want to take it.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to make you never have another outbreak or make this virus go away. If you're lucky and you keep your immune system balanced then it's very possible to go years without an outbreak; however, it's extremely unlikely that you'd stop having outbreaks altogether for the rest of your life.

So, vitamins and supplements you can take for an outbreak:

*L-Lysine - Take between 1,500 - 3,000mg of this during an outbreak for 5 days. Then stop taking it for 7 days. Repeat this cycle until your outbreak has diminished. Do not take it longer than 5 days as your body will adjust to it and it will not be effective.

*Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids- Take between 1000 - 2000mg every day. You do not need to be experiencing an outbreak to take this and you should take it every day--your body will not become "immune" to it.

*Zinc - Take 20mg - 50mg per day, outbreak or not.

*Echinacea - Take for 2 weeks and then stop for 2 weeks. You may repeat process until desired time. Take 1000mg daily. Do not take longer than 2 weeks at a time.

*Vitamin B Complex - Take one daily, outbreak or not.

*Herplex - Something at Wal-Mart that claims to help heal the sores. It says to take between 3 - 5 caplets (chewed) per day while you're having an outbreak. It has some really good stuff in it to help heal your body.

The more you stress, the more likely you are to experience an outbreak. What's done is done and there is no taking this back. Try to relax and tend to your body now. It is important to do everything you can to boost your immune system to decrease outbreaks. You should begin avoiding chocolate and direct sunlight, as both can trigger severe outbreaks. If you currently smoke, please try to quit so that your immune system raises again.

Try to abstain from sexual relations during an outbreak. Even though your partner is positive for herpes it is possible to spread it all around your bodies. Sexual encounters also may trigger an outbreak or cause it to become more severe so treat your bodies well and try not to have sex during times of outbreaks. It is also suggested to always use condoms during non-outbreak times to lower changes of spreading it then too.

If you think the sore has become infected with staph now then you NEED to see a doctor. Care for your body. If you don't, nobody will.


theres been i BIG misunderstanding...i post lots on here about paralyzed and car crash and a pool incident and cancer. some things i put on here are from my friends though. they know i get on here but dont wanna make an account so i write about them on here as me and tell them all of your feedback. appearently i am lieing about everything according to whoever runs this thing...but by the way, im definently not...MY life story...my TRUE life story...3 years ago my parents DID get arrested for child abuse. i went through months of emotional and physical abuse therapy. last year i was diagnosed with heart cancer and had to have heart surgery. last month, my cancer was making progress and healing so i didnt have to spend so much time in the hospital. so i was going to my teams softball game just to watch and me and my aunt were in a car accident. i am paralyzed from waist down for a few years if therapy goes good. i went to the hospital and met this other girl a year older then me (im 14)....her friend pushed her in a pool and became paralyzed for life and now her friend wont speak to her....so please help me and let me know what u think..? (link)
Zane is absolutely correct.

YOU own your account. Only questions YOU ask should be submitted through your account.

If your friend wants to ask a question then he or she will NEED to open their own Advicenators account.

If they post questions through your account, I think it goes against the Terms of Service Agreement. I think accounts that do this can be banned or completely removed.

There are people here who pay $10 for the yearly subscription so that we can see previous questions asked on one account--so that we can have a little bit of extra back-history when supplying you with good advice. Your identity is still completely secure; however, if we end up seeing questions from you, your friend, and your neighbor's best friend's dog's lover then it's not helpful to us. Things get all mixed around and the advice we supply might not actually pertain to you.

Anyway, I'm sorry things are happening with you the way they are. You need to speak with a qualified therapist. Nobody here is going to be able to make things "OK" again. Nobody here is qualified to help you through the last stages of your life if the cancer worsens and nobody here can tell you if you'll ever be able to regain the ability to walk. While some of us have gone through this (or may be going through this) these things vary GREATLY on a case by case instance.

I could be in a car wreck, be paralyzed, and regain the ability to walk in a year. On the other hand, you could have a similar car accident and never be able to walk again.

I could have heart cancer and die from it in 3 months. You could battle it for 3 years and not ever die from it.

So, I (along with other Advicenators) can provide you with very little:

I'm sorry.

I cannot fully, 100% relate to your issues.

Please talk to a therapist.

Talking to us, strangers, and your friends and family will only get you so far. It's hard to relate to situations like this. You need, NEED, therapy.

I do have a degree in psychology so I know what I'm saying when I tell you to seek a professional. Issues that you're going through, and have gone through, can create mental problems, too. Talking with a professional as early as possible will help you work through a lot. Seek help from a person who is qualified to provide that help.

P.S. I, too, would have been confused with previous questions you've asked. People who have heart problems (cancer, surgery, defects) are not ALLOWED to play sports so it's confusing that you've had this cancer/surgery and enjoyed playing sports up until you were paralyzed. It's like, "Whoa, wait...what? That doesn't even make sense!" I mean, there's A LOT in your previous questions that make it sound like they might not be completely truthful, but, hey, that isn't up to me to decide, obviously.


How come when i put in a tampon my vagina rejects it? (link)
It is EXTREMELY unlikely you'd be putting the tampon in the "wrong hole." There's only three holes down there. One, your urethra (pee hole). Two, your vagina. Three, your anal opening (butt hole).

Since your sphincter does a pretty good job at keeping things out of your butt, chances that you actually got a tampon to be pushed all the way in there are fairly low. I mean, sure, you can certainly get that done but it'd take a lot more than what take it takes to shove something into your vagina.

Your urethra is pretty small. While it can stretch, it would be EXTREMELY painful to get a tampon shoved in there. I mean, it'd take A LOT of work, A LOT of hours, and A LOT of stretching. It'd practically impossible to "accidentally" shove a tampon into this hole unless you've previously stretched the hole out really big before or something, for whatever reason.

The reason a tampon is sliding out of your body after a short period of time can be caused by many things.

It could be that the tampon is too light. (ie: you're wearing a light tampon for a heavy flow)

It could be that they're too small. (ie: you're wearing a short/travel tampon OR your vagina is wider than average and you need a 'heavier' tampon for it to stick to the walls of your vagina and stay)

It could be that the tampon was not inserted fully.

You could be tensing up a lot and forcing it back out.

Your best bet is to not even go with tampons. They're actually pretty dangerous because they allow dioxin exposure and DECREASE your vaginal sensitivity. Read more:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592847


Hi everybody,

I'm a teenage girl (18). I went to the doctor yesterday about some issues going on, and they told me I had minor depression. I won't get into the details.. but they gave me medicine and also a lot of tips/ideas for me to become happier. They mentioned writing in a journal or article, in order to express my thoughts and get them out of my system. Well I don't really like the journal idea because 1. i'm scared someone will find them and I don't want people I know to see them. 2. I prefer typing rather than hand writing.

So I guess i'm asking if anyone knows a website where I can publish online articles/journals? It has to be free though. I don't want to pay anything. also, if it has an anonymous option, that would be amazing!

Oh and I'm kind of stuck on something.. I'm not sure if I want "comments" on my articles. Because I have seen some serious articles and people have commented on them saying horrible things like "go die" and "you suck".. the last thing I need right now is people to make fun of my writing and bring me down. So if there is a comment feature, please make sure that only good comments are available.

thank you!
(link)
To make it clear what I've understood you to be asking:

You want a place where you can post private diary entries and various unique articles and have the ability to reject comments from outsiders? Possibly even make it so that nobody else can read them?

There are tons, I mean TONS, of free sites like this.

Anything from LiveJournal to blogspot to Xomba.

The key to anonymity? Don't reveal yourself. Choose a non-personal username. Don't provide names, locations, or details about yourself. Don't link to your Twitter or your Facebook. Don't re-use the username on other sites (where someone can Google the username and find a Facebook of yours, you know). Write anonymously ;)

LiveJournal is a site where you can certainly make everything private or public. You have control over comments being left on your page. You can block comments being left on entries, that I'm aware of. I'm not a user there, but from what I understand, it's YOUR journal. It's free (from what I understand, but you might need to pay for additional features?). www.livejournal.com

Blogspot also gives you the ability to create entries private or public. You control the comment settings as well. This one is a little less-anonymous though since it's easy to screw up and fill out their bio form. It's free. www.blogspot.com

Xomba is more article-geered rather than diary or journal entries. You can earn money if you have an Adsense account. If you use a fake username (ie: not your real name) and go with one of their default pictures then what you write is basically anonymous to readers unless you choose to reveal yourself. This site doesn't let you choose who can or cannot comment on posts though; however, Xomba is a little more "adult" than journal sites since people are there to actually WORK on news-worthy articles to make money. It's free. www.xomba.com




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