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i need help right now because this is too hard for me
Ok so me and my boyfriend had an amazing easter together. He invited me to his family reunion and i got to meet all of them for the first time. It was great I loved it. Then we had to leave because there was a tornado. And I was scared because we were driving through it. Then I felt save with him. He finally dropped me home.
Then the next day he talks to this girl on facebook. I get mad because I thought he loved me. I know it was stupid I was just a little mad though. We were going to hang out Tuesday since I had work on Monday. Then he tells this other girl about me and how I overreacted about it. So she's like I'm gonna piss her off and write on your wall and flirt with you. And he was ok with that because he didn't stop her. Then I get home and read it and I get so mad. I couldn't control my anger. He was telling me I had anger issues. I told him I was mad at him because he didn't need to make me madder than I already was.
Then I said I'm gonna block you. He didn't want me to block him. Then I ignored him for 2 hours. He finally talked to me and said there was nothing going on between the two girls. He loves me. And the thing that really pissed me off was he's like "I love that you care about it" and I said I don't fu*cking care about you anymore. He got mad and I dissed him more. Then he's like Goodbye, I'll miss you so much.
I didn't respond because I thought it wasn't real.
It's been 2 days straight. He blocked me on facebook, on skype, deleted my number (one of my friends told me that) and he just hasn't talked to me.
I know it's both of our faults. I know he was sick of the relationship. I know it's over between us. That was just the stupidest way to end it over a text.
I'm really strong about it because I've been hanging out with my friends and trying to move on because I want to he's a bad guy for me. He unblocked me on facebook today but we're not friends.
I know he wants nothing to do with me but I really miss him. I wish it didn't have to end...especially this way...
What do I do? I know I have to move on but I love him so much, I can't stand life without him. It's hard. I was with him for almost 2 years I want to be in a relationship with someone who really loves me. Because he never came back :'(
please understand.
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Yeah, here is the problem:
Women are security driven. This causes them to be competitive with each other for male attention. Getting away from his flirtation on Facebook (btw, people, get the hell off of that will ya? Only insecure people use it), you obviously don't feel confident of yourself or otherwise you wouldn't have hit the roof until you knew something concretely sexual had happened between them, which, of course, didn't.
Women also love nothing more than to take guys away from other women (go to a singles bar and see how much play guys wearing wedding rings get sometime) because it is a sign to them of their attractiveness, which makes women feel secure. This is why the other girl was going in for the kill by getting your goat.
For the guy, it makes him feel like a stud. To have chicks fighting over you just freaking rocks in the same way women love guys getting into fights over them.
So don't go back to him because you know that the relationship is over. You would just be trying to reclaim your territory from teother chick, which is totally counterproductive and, may I say, pathetic. But you also need to learn from your mistakes here and relax and don't be such an emotional minefield.
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This is totally not what you really want to hear but...
Are you crazy?
"And by the way I was acting like a total b**ch that day. Don't men love bi**hes????."
No man wants to be stepped all over. That isn't how it works.
In my 24 years alive, I have NEVER met a man who wanted to be with a bitch. NEVER!
Men are with bitches because bitches are easy. They don't love them. They end up leaving them for someone else. That is why bitches have men. Because men want sex and bitches think they're in control so they give it up easy.
NO(!) man wants to actually be with a bitch.
You never, ever want to be a bitch.
"...I ignored him for 2 hours."
And...what? You thought showing him that you had "control" over him would make him chase after you harder? That isn't how healthy relationships work.
I don't know who told you that men like for women to have all control in a relationship, but you actually caused this yourself.
"...I said I don't fu*cking care about you anymore."
If my guy told me that then I'd ASSUME the relationship was over. I'd assume he was breaking up with me. I'd also be all like, "Man, this guy is an asshole!" How does it feel when someone you -love- tells you that they don't care about you? Pretty hurtful. Those are serious words that people don't throw around lightly.
What it sounds like is this:
"My boyfriend chatted with a girl. I wanted to bitch and complain about it so that I could feel powerful over him in the relationship. So, I threw a fit. The girl thought it was stupid and made the situation public so I virtually-spat in my boyfriend's face and completely ignored him for HOURS. Then, when he got fed up after I said no longer cared about him...he dumped me!"
Now, think about this:
You talk to a boy online. Innocently enough. Your boyfriend gets all pissy about it and over-reacts. The guy think it's a stupid idea and jokingly says something on your FaceBook that is flirty to get another laugh. You think your boyfriend is over-reacting too, and figure he'll come to his senses after a small discussion over: "Adults have non-sexual relationships with members of the opposite gender and that's okay." Instead, he decides to yell at you and then ignores you for hours while you wait, anxious for him to realize he's being dumb. So, how long do you wait for your obviously-immature boyfriend to come around and say, "Hey, sorry about that. I totally overreacted and made a fool of myself, starting drama for absolutely no reason. I know you're faithful and that you love me. Please forgive me."
The answer is: you don't. If someone can't realize that men and women can be FRIENDS then why waste your time waiting for them to mature?
Look, the guy LOVES you. You (-you-) hurt him. You hurt his feelings. You treated him like a dog. You wouldn't like someone to treat -you- that way, so why do you treat your partner like that?
I mean, the fact alone that he gave you the ability to look at his FaceBook messages is a lot. If he wanted to hide the conversation with the girl, don't you think he would have done it some place where you wouldn't be able to read it? Come on. Think about it. The guy isn't sneaking around on you.
If you love this guy, you need to apologize.
If you want to be with this guy, you need to apologize.
Hell, if you don't want to be with this guy, you NEED TO APOLOGIZE!
And you need to NOT be a bitch. For real. Nobody likes bitches. You don't like being friends with bitches. I don't like being friends with bitches. No man wants to have a real relationship with a woman who thinks she's in control, steps all over his feelings, and treats him like shit. Nobody really wants a bitch.
Apologize.
Change.
This is something -you- did, unfortunately. The problem isn't that he didn't come back. The problem is that you overreacted, you treated him like trash, you told him you didn't care about him, you told him you wanted to block him. You, essentially, ended it. You need to change your ways. You need to apologize to the guy, either way, and say, "Hey, I take full blame for being a total bitch and overreacting the other day. I treated you like dirt and it was wrong of me to do. If you had treated me like that, I would've done the same thing. I'm sorry for not treating you better. I hope you accept my apology because I know I hurt your feelings."
I know you're probably young and you don't understand what you've done here, but it's pretty serious since you seem to not even have the ability to grasp what has happened.
"I know it's both of our faults. I know he was sick of the relationship."
It's only both of your faults if something really was going on with the other girl he chatted with.
And, heck, if someone treated you the way you've treated him...could you really blame them for getting "sick" of the relationship?
And, for note, you don't bring your girl to a family reunion when you're "sick of the relationship." Food for thought there.
I hope things work out between you two. It's sad to throw 2 years down the drain because you're under some stupid impression that you need to treat someone badly for them to love you.
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Do you want to still be with this guy or move on? I understand that you two have been together for a while but if he isn't treating you like the princess you are then move on. You as a females should not settle for less in a relationship, have high standards and find someone that meet those standards. Yes, he was wrong for upsetting you more but you where totally wrong by how you came at him. Two wrongs doesn't make a right. You need to set aside your differences and call him or set up a date to meet so you two can talk about what happened and where you two want to go from there. Maybe you guys can be close friends because 2yrs is too much to just throw away. For now if you are trying to get over the relationship just take time out for yourself. Don't indulge in another relationship because the timing is not right. Wait a few months or so until you are able to say i love you as a friend and i have love for you but I'm not in love with you anymore. You deserve the best so remember that and if he wasn't giving you that then go find someone else who will. I encountered the same situation but mine was 4yrs and i had to move on now I'm happy it took a while but i go through it and so can you.
Good Luck!
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