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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
Dear Nallie I am 18 years old and a male. My girlfriend and i have been together for a little over a year we fight a lot. Most of the things we get in fights about are things like me getting on her nerves because when she jokes around i joke back but she gets mad because i joke back. Anything i try to talk to her about that i am upset over i cant talk to her because she gets mad about it. then she wont talk to me. Shes very closed and shes been that way ever since we started dating. When i get mad about things like shes flirting with a guy and she doesnt notice she will say its rediculis and be mad at me because im mad at her. I can never have an opinion about something because she gets upset about it. Also in our sexual life she always wants me to do stuff to her to make her feel good u no but when i want her to do stuff to me she gets weirded out like she doesnt wanna. its kinda like i do stuff and get nottin back most of the time. weve been arguing non stop about everything. She always says "ohhh my god we fight about everything" but shes the one whose gettin mad about everything. I just wish she would talk to me and not get mad about everything. She always will say i dont know what u want me to say. I get upset about things and i dont ever talk about them because she will get mad and then wont talk about them. What should i do?
Sincerely
sloth33
Wow, you do have a complicated situation don't you? It sounds as if your GF is very irrational and moody or you two have completely different communication styles. Not that I can tell you what to do, but I'd say if you can't talk to her now, you are going to be even more miserable if you allow this to go on. Not every girl you date will be like this. Any relationship should be close to 50/50 and you should feel like you are talking to your best friend. That's how you will know when it's right. For now, this one sounds wrong. Hope all works out whichever you decide.
Sometimes i wake up at night with the strangest feeling. Its really hard to explain but im gonna try. Its like my whole body is freaking out, like my arms and legs feel restless and so weird, like i need to get up and move them around. My heart doesnt really race so im not sure if its some kind of anxiety thing. Its not restless leg syndrome, its mostly my arms and upper body. But i wake up with this horrible feeling. Its not really pain, which is why its hard to explain. I have no idea what it is but when it happens it keeps me awake for at least an hour. i toss and turn over and over, like its somehow gonna make it go away. Does anybody have any idea what im talking about? again its really hard to describe.
I can't say I've ever felt this way, but it may be possible that you are lacking a vitamin or mineral that helps with muscle and nervous function. Either that or it may be the way you are sleeping or laying which is compromising the circulation. Or it could just be linked to a sleep disorder.
Anyway, I think it's best to see the doctor because it sounds like some diagnostic tests are in order to get to the root cause. This is not a common enough situation in my book to give you precise answers, and you certainly need good sleep!
i cant stop feeling depressed. I'm not sure if i actually have depression or not but i always feel like i have no reason to live. all my friends ditched me this year,even my best friend of 6 years. i have absolutely no friends. i haven't hung out with anyone in months and i used to have tons of friends. my grades have started to drop because I'm just too depressed to really care about anything the teacher has to say. i feel happy when i am wit my cousins, but they live really far away and i dont see the often enough. i havent talked to my parents about it really because im too embarrassed and they might think im dramatic. also they are really stressed out and i dont want to add to that. evryone tells me just to be happy and make friends, but its not that easy. this situation has no silver lining. what should i do?
I don't think you are being dramatic. I would hope your parents wouldn't think that either. When one is depressed anything in life seems difficult, so you are right it's not that easy to pull your self up by the boot straps and "Be Happy" or "Make new friends". There is always a new day, but it sounds as if you don't look forward to anything right now. Seeing your physician has to be my first advice as there could be something physical that is making you feel this way.
Even if it takes effort on your part it may be worth it to join a club or volunteer somewhere. It's often the easiest way to make new friends.
Do you have pets? Pets can also give us something to look foreward to and be there for us when we are feeling blue.
Well I'm supposed to be moving in February and I told my friends and they been sad and crying and I cant take the sadness I dont want to leave but I have no choice...what can I do what do I say...I need help badly...they made me cry I really love my friends...ughhhh I dont know what to do...please someone help me
ohhh...how sad. I feel for you and your friends. However, you can make the transistion a little easier, and in this case tears are not a bad thing. Make a pact with your friends to stay in touch via telephone, email or even by writing letters. Is it possible to visit each other when school is out for the summer? Take a lot of pictures of you and your friends before you go and put together little memory books for them as keepsakes. Or give them a friendship bracelet or other piece of jewlery so they can still have a part of you close to them.
i always get really depressed around my period. its nothing serious just the hormones are flying. is there anything you girls can suggest to treat myself or make me feel a little better during this time. With my hormones going crazy and school work piling up its hard to relax!
You can try increasing good foods such as fruit and veggies, and stay away from junk food. Also cut back or eliminate caffiene and processed sugars. Food can really affect our moods, and until you eliminate the bad stuff for a few days you'll never know how well this works.
Also increase your exercise and get some fresh air. In addition extra sleep will help clear the mind.
Also checking with your doc wouldn't be a bad idea just in case he/she has other ideas for you.
Hi Im a female 17. lately I´ve been having lots of problems with my mom cause She went throught my cellphone and found a really x rated...erotic whatever you want to call it conversation with my bf (which she didn´t even know I had) it was about 6 messages long. And now she calls me hoe, vulgar. and says Im a minor and lots of crap. Im 17 and i think I have a right to explore my sexuality but safely, which I do. It sucks because now she makes me feel like crap with sarcasms and she even went to the cellphone company to check up on my messages and to who i write them. Its a total invasion of privacy i can´t even text my bf anymore and i don´t know what to do cause i really like him and my mom is making me want to seriusly die or kill myself.
Honey, killing yourself is not the answer. Please talk to someone about this if you really feel that way. You will soon be 18 and before you know it out on your own and be able to have that privacy that you desire. It sounds like a long time off, but trust me time will go quickly.
I have to agree with the potential legal implications though. I know someone first hand who was arrested because of information stored on a phone.
While we'd like to think so, nothing we do on the internet or our phones is 100% private. That info can be intercepted in a variety of ways.
If you can try to always talk to your boyfriend in person or on a land line (provided she doesn't have a recording device attached to the phone) Of course this is a very primative way of communicating, but in my day we did not have text messages and got along without this. Sometimes parents would find hand written notes though, and we faced the same thing! So be careful with that too.
Now the fact that she is calling you names is very inappropiate. She's supposed to be the adult! I do not agree with that at all!
If you have a job maybe you can get your own pay as you go phone or something, but still be careful what you type and erase all texts after they are sent and read.
Have any of you tried these Kinoki Foot Pads that are suposed to detox you? If so what do you think about them? I would prefer to hear from people who do detoxes and who are into a healthier life style...but other oppinions are welcome too. Thank you.
I saw an evaluation of those foot pads on a show like 20/20 one time. The conclusion was that they don't work. There is something on them that turns dark from body heat...this may be a scam so keep that in mind if you want to use them.
hi I am a wife and a mother mother of four great kids. I love my family to death but they say that I am onesided and to hard on them. I however dont see that way. I just think i want the best for them. Now mind you 3 of my kids are handicapped and this puts alot of stress on me. it seems at times that I am the only parent in the house. my husband works and I stay home with the kids. I cook,clean,help kids with their things and try to be a loving wife. but when he comes home if feel i need a break and it is his time with them. we do share so household chores. but when it his day to do something he useally doesnt do or only half way do it. and i feel if you start something you need to finish no matter what. he says that i have to have my way about everything and that i dont care what he feels or how it makes him feel. he also says that I have a way of doing everything and if i see someone doing it diffrent then its wrong. plus he say I have a spot for everything and that the house isnt going to stay clean and I should let it go sometimes and chill.he also state that no matter what he does it doent please me. Now I feel that you should have a clean house and keep it nice but i now its not going to stay clean but if you see something out of place put it away this makes it easier on me.should i chill? i have a very bad temper and we get into fights not hand to hand but yelling matches and sometimes i feel that i am not tiring my best to stop the fights and that im overbearing and out of control what should I do? i feel sometimes that it would be easier to be by myself.
mylife
I have been in a similar situation with my husband, and being a working Mom of 3 children. He doesn't see things as I do and never will. I only have one child left at home as they are grown now, and realize that I should not have focused on the small things because it took time away from my family.
It sounds as if your hubby, like mine, is not detail oriented and has different priorities. I am guessing he simply cannot see what is wrong with the way he is doing things, no matter how much you tell him. That's okay, he is still helping you right? If he feels he can't live up to your standards he may stop helping altogether.
While I know this is not the advice you are probably looking for..I'd say yes, you do need to "chill" but most importantly it sounds as if you need a break. You may have to plan away from home time soon, it could change your outlook a little.
Also, what about couple time? I am guessing you both feel unappreciated.
my friend rob posted a bulliten on myspace saying that he was suicidal again. and he said that he had a knife and a lighter in his bedroom and he wasnt afraid to use them, he also said that meybe he'd add a rope in to and that he wasnt afraid to kill himself. should i tell someone? if i do, who do i tell? will he hate me? should i talk to him first?
he's a good friend of mine. i dont wanr him to die. please help me.
I know this has been posted a few days ago--so too late to take immediate action. I hope it worked out okay.
However, this information may be able to help others.
It is not logical or practical to ask you to evaluate your friend at this moment to determine if he really WILL commit suicide. How crazy is that? I was upset to see those answers. You were/are obviously concerned and there is evidence that Rob is considering taking his life.
What should have been done is an annoymous call made to the police. The police would most likely intervene and transport him to a professional.
The myspace profile is public so anyone could have done this--he'd never know it was you. Even so it's better that he is mad and still alive than dead. It is also obvious that Rob is asking for help. But the help that should be given is professional help. Oh my gosh I can only imagine how terrible you would feel if you came to the wrong conclusion.
All suicide threats should ALWAYS be taken seriously. Let the professionals decide what the amount of risk is in the suicidal person.
Friend's should not be put in that position.
this is my situation,
im 16 years old, 4 weeks pregnant i know i have options and i have been thinking about them a lot.
adoption is just out of the question if i did that then one of my family members would adopt my child and i wouldn't be able to deal with that. So im not putting my child up for adoption.
i have always told myself that i was against abortion not just because i think of it as killing a baby but because it can cause physical and emotional harm to you also.
if i kept the baby i know i would have sooo many people behind me my mom has 4 sisters and all of them including her had there first baby at 17 so i know they would understand i know they would all help me, but im sooo scared. Im a Jr this year and the baby wouldnt be born till late july early augest so thats summer i mean .. i want to go back to school after i have the baby i would do that.. but i dont know.. i mean im not sure the father will stick around my best friend is his sister i know she would help me but i dont know what to do... i really dont want to be someones mother right now and i know its my boyfriends and mine fault that this happened but .. HELP!
what would you do in my situation, tell me why and what you think I should do!... please help any advice will help me
If you are against abortion, then that would most likely not be the best option for you as it seems you would come to regret it. So of course that only leaves two options..to raise it with the support of your family or adoption. Do you have a birth right organization in your area? They can provide you with resources to help you in this trying, overwhelming but yet somewhat exciting time in your life. Tell them what you told us on the board. You don't want to be a mother, but you are also taking responsibility for your actions.
You may have a long and trying road ahead of you, but some early preparation will help.
http://www.birthright.org/
I am 17 almost 18 and me and my fiancee' have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and we have tried everything we had sex everyday that i was ovulating and i still havent got pregnant. Can anyone give us any advice on how to get pregnant or why im not getting pregnant?
As a healthcare giver, who has worked in obstetrics I am going to advise you to see an OB/GYN physician.
Obviously you seem very determined to have a baby at such a young age, but I certainly hope the physician can give you a complete exam and some good advice. Which I would consider to be the reasons you should wait and not focus on fertility, pregnancy or raising a child at this time in your life.
will girls like 6in dickis
only if they are attached to someone with a brain.
2 couples involved
friends for 20+ years recent bitter aqgument over politics has resulted in couple #2 stopping contact (they know couple #1 wife has terminally ill father (Dr said not to count on Thanksgiving)
Woman is an only child, planning her fathers funeral home care etc has enough to deal with
Plus she feels that people she has loved & emotionally supported for years have abandoned her... therefore must never have been true friends
I am close to couple #1 & well aquainteed with couple #2.
should I contact couple #2 & tell them how depressed their absence is making wife #1?
all involved are 55+ years with grown familiew
I probably wouldn't play mediator in this case. If they can't agree to disagree about politics, then it's true their friendship may have not been that strong at all.
They may work it out on their own or they may not, but you might just alinate one of the couples by getting involved too deep in their battles.
In otherwords, It may be a good idea to stay neutral in regards to their argument. Or you may likely get the blame somewhere down the road.
What you can certainly do though is be there for emotional support in regards to what the woman is going through with her father. She will appreciate the fact that all her friends haven't abandoned her, and it might make all the difference in the world for just that one person.
My friend is fighting for custody of her son, but she isn't doing anything that the court ordered her to do. I.e paying child support, visiting the child, calling him..etc. I don't understand this, if you are fighting for custody wouldn't you do everything a Mother should plus more. It's hard being her friend and supporting her knowing she isn't living up to what I feel a Mother should do whether she is fighting for custody of her son or not. She doesn't even visit him every other weekend like she could, if she wanted. She lives in the same town that he does and she and the Father acutally get along decent. So he is not the proble. Why is she fighting for custody? Do you have any suggestions as to how to help her - as her friend - without ruining our friendship. Or should I tell her that her son is better off staying with his Father, who at least can provide for the child.
Hello,
What a tough situation you are in as a friend to witness this. I agree she should be paying child support and maintaining her visitation. Maybe she is only fighting for custody so she will not be obligated to pay child support. I know that is what some fathers do.
I don't think you have to tell her that the child is better off staying with the father. But as a friend you could sit down one on one and talk to her about this. Tell her if the judge sees what you do, the custody hearing most likely will not end in her favor. Ask her, does she honestly want custody? It doesn't appear that way now. You can remind her of the facts, but as a friend it puts yourself in a bad situation to say who would be the better parent or provider.
i've already talked to my neighbors and complained about their dogs but he does nothing, i am looking for something to stop those dogs from barking i'd like for it to go through the fence & have a remote if possible. where would i be able to find this?
sites or stores please & thank you
Maybe if you bought anti-bark collars your neighbor would put them on the dogs. I don't mean the shock kind, but the kind that emits a high pitch sound every time the dog barks. If he won't put them on the dog, rig them up to the fence or a post or a tree near by..especially if the dogs usually stand in one place and bark. I don't see how this is illegal if it's in your own yard. The collars are certainly not as annoying as the dogs, so don't worry about bothering people with them. However, some dogs get conditioned to the collars and bark anyway. But it might work for a while.
Additional Info: Here you can compare online prices and find one that is reasonable:
http://www.shopping.com/xPC-Ultralight_Sonic_Bark_Collar
ok so for about the past 2 weeks i have been getting gastric whenever i sweat or run around or stuff like that
since i am in school it can get really embarrasing but i dont think any of my friends have noticed but i get big wet patches around my anus and its very uncomfortable and stinky
i wear 2 pairs of underpants just incase and to try to hide the wet patches a bit
if anyone can tell me the cause of this and how to get rid of it i would be very grateful
btw i have already tried eating the stuff on the inside of bannanas
Getting gastric? I am sure you don't want to go into detail, but I have to guess at what that means. Anyway, try adding more fiber to your diet to bulk things up a bit. Or try taking anti-gas medication before school. In addition you could always see a doctor to make sure you don't have some kind of infection.
im a pretty outgoing and open person.
but im only open if im ased about it.
example one:my cousins girlfriend and i were talking about drinking and i wanted to tell her about the weekend before when i had drank but i didnt say anything till she asked me if ive gotten drunk before.
example two.
whenever i need to talk to my best friend i never say i need to talk to you about this guy. i just stop talking and wait for her to notice i need to talk.
idk why i do that but i wish i didnt. maybe im fighting for attention with my best friend idk. what can i do to stop and dont just say "stop" cause its not that easy
What I am reading here is you are asking how to SPEAK UP and JUMP IN? Correct?
Actually, unless it's extremely urgent and you must get your point accross immediatly, you are already conducting yourself in the correct manner by waiting until the time is appropiate to speak.
Silence on your part will always encourage other people to talk more, and make you appear to be a good listener, which will draw people to you. So don't stop, just keep being yourself, you are fine the way you are.
so i busted thru my bottom lip, and it has left a tiny scar! it has been a little over a month since the injury, and, with the exception of redness, its its not open anymore. however, the light casts a bad shadow on this scar becuase it looks to be depressed inward.i use tons of topicals, but none seem to be doing the trick. i hear the next step is laser treatment. im wondering if laser treatments will give me good results or if its just a waste of money. i know there is nothing to get rid of the entire scar, but perhaps theres a way to make it not indent?
Hi,
Since this is obviously on your face, I would seek more than one opinion with a cosmetic surgeon. It seems to me (and of course I am not a doctor) but that there may be at least two more options Vs Laser treatment. One being injections to build up the tissue and another being a scar revision. I'm not sure if laser treatment would help with the indent, it may make the scar it's self look smoother, but also may be a risk to the surrounding tissue and it could always be worse than before you started. It's worth it to do your research though.
Best wishes,
Nallie
19/f.
My nose is wide, big, and sticks out too much. And I have a little bump on my bridge because that part got broken and never quite healed right. It really looks out of proportion. It bothers me a lot because I'm the only female in my family that has it. When I go pick up my little brother, the kids there ask if I'm his brother. Never mind that I'm wearing a skirt?
When that happens, I'm too embarrassed to say anything.
And people my age and older often think I'm one of those boys that has a feminine face.
It really lowers my self esteem.
And it's annoying me because I honestly don't think I'll ever get surgery for it. I don't like surgery and I don't want to people think I'm so superficial because it's only my nose that bugs me so much.
I don't know what to do. I've got my hair cut to bring attention away from nose. Make up doesn't distract all that much.
Well if you did ever have surgery, it wouldn't mean you are superficial, after all you did suffer an injury..you really wouldn't need to explain it at all if you didn't want to.
Anyway, try not to worry about what other people think, it's hard I know, but especially in the case of perfect strangers they don't count anyway. Just be happy and smile a lot...If people call you a boy, don't be afraid to correct them...They are just being ignorant and aren't really taking time to notice you. Their mistake, not yours.
To make a long story short, me & my ex both got EPO's on each other, & the judge granted us both our EPO's.
But the day the judge granted them, my ex was already calling a mutual friend, telling her to tell me a bunch of different things, like I had 24 hours to break the EPO or he was going to have me arrested, & some other stuff like that. He said that he wouldn't hurt me physically, but he would ruin my life, since I ruined his (he wanted to be a cop). He even told her he called & said a bunch of stuff to try to get me to lose my disability check.
So, we called a police officer (small town, we know a lot of the cops personally), & he said that was considered breaking the EPO, since he was sending messages to me through a friend. So, the next day I went to the circuit clerks office, & they had me fill out a forthright order of arrest, or something. But when I called back the next day, they said the judge had denied it because it wasn't a threat of abuse.
I don't understand. I never said he was threatening to abuse me, but the cop said he broke the EPO, so why would the judge deny the order of arrest? And is there anything else I can do about it now, since it's been a few weeks since this happened? Thanks.
I assume from your post an EPO is a type of protection order? Read the order to determine what specific behavior would be in violation. The police officer may say one thing, but the final order of the judge is what counts. You could enlist in the help of an attorney to pursue any action you wish to take, at least he/she could explain the legalities of it all. Do you want to have your ex arrested? Do you still feel threatened? These are some things you need to examine and what your motives for them are before you determine a plan of action. Perhaps you feel victimized, maybe you should discuss your feelings with a person from a domestic abuse hotline and they may make suggestions.