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16 pregnant
this is my situation,
im 16 years old, 4 weeks pregnant i know i have options and i have been thinking about them a lot.
adoption is just out of the question if i did that then one of my family members would adopt my child and i wouldn't be able to deal with that. So im not putting my child up for adoption.
i have always told myself that i was against abortion not just because i think of it as killing a baby but because it can cause physical and emotional harm to you also.
if i kept the baby i know i would have sooo many people behind me my mom has 4 sisters and all of them including her had there first baby at 17 so i know they would understand i know they would all help me, but im sooo scared. Im a Jr this year and the baby wouldnt be born till late july early augest so thats summer i mean .. i want to go back to school after i have the baby i would do that.. but i dont know.. i mean im not sure the father will stick around my best friend is his sister i know she would help me but i dont know what to do... i really dont want to be someones mother right now and i know its my boyfriends and mine fault that this happened but .. HELP!
what would you do in my situation, tell me why and what you think I should do!... please help any advice will help me
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I was the same age as you when I fell pregnant, and I was in exactly the same situation, I'm against abortion and putting my child up for adoption would leave a huge whole in me for the rest of my life. I felt that I had to raise this baby, like you I was fortunate enough to have a strong family that was willing to support me 100% (as the father had left me), when deciding whether or not to keep the baby you must take many things into consideration. When I decided to have my baby I made the choice to give up my schooling to raise him, I got a part time job and worked until I physically could, I pulled out of school and got homeschooled by my dad where I eventually ended up finishing my year 12, I may not have had the greatest education but my life is wonderful at the moment, I am in university studying teaching, working part time as the local grocery and raising one of the most beautiful boys I've ever seen in my life, my adivce would be go for it, but make sure your willing to make alot of sacrifices socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically.
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O.K. so you decided to keep your baby. Did you know there are many websites you can visit to get free baby stuff like diapers, wipes, formula etc.? I just keyed in free baby stuff and it brought me to a webpage full of options. I was surprised at how many sites there are to get free stuff. So go ahead and register with as many as you can and start accumulating your diapers and wipes and other stuff before the birth. There are also websites to go to once you have your baby. Also, try visiting the pampers webpage. I know they also have free stuff. If you can think of any other brand names of baby stuff, visit their websites also. Good Hunting. Also if you type in free baby advice you will get many webpages that offer advice to new parents like you. Try it out.
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If you are against abortion, then that would most likely not be the best option for you as it seems you would come to regret it. So of course that only leaves two options..to raise it with the support of your family or adoption. Do you have a birth right organization in your area? They can provide you with resources to help you in this trying, overwhelming but yet somewhat exciting time in your life. Tell them what you told us on the board. You don't want to be a mother, but you are also taking responsibility for your actions.
You may have a long and trying road ahead of you, but some early preparation will help.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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hi well I myself got pregnant at 17 and I kept my baby and my family like yours was behind all the way. It really wasnt hard for to say i would keep her because I felt that she was a blessing and that she was given to me to show me that I was a good person and that i could hanld things on my own. Haveing a baby does make you grow up fast and teach you things that you may have never learned. I know it taught me how to hanld money. And i did finish school went to college and got married. I know have 4 great kids and i think this is where im suppose to be. you have to do wants right for you. and noone else. pray and the answer will come. good luck.
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Well if you have family and friends that are willing to help you thats a very good thing. God gave you that baby for a reason we will probably never know that reason but he obviously wants that baby in this world. And as for the father if he dont stick around you will always have your family. Good luck!
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Well, I have never been pegnant, but I know 3 people really close to me that have been, and they were ALL 16. I definatley dont support abortion. Wether or not you keep it really depends on some uimportant things; are your parents there for you and willing to help out you and the baby, if the father is willing to contribute and help, your home life most of all. Just think, how was your life growing up? If it was good, keeping it might be ok, if not, the best thing might be to give it to a family who really, desperatly wants a baby. ****Also, DO NOT TRY TO KEEP IT A SECRET!**** Telling someone and getting help will without a doubt, be better for the both of you.
If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask. I know what your going through, and im only here for help. Sincerely,Britany
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Edit;
There, that's the reaction I was looking for, remember, "A child is best taken care of by it's own mother". No one will ever love your child like you will. You are in for the ride of your life my dear, you will learn more from your child and she will make you become the best person you could ever imagine being. I will not apologize for what I said, it has made you make the proper choice and I wish you the best. You and your daughter will be watched over, that I promise you.
I'm not going to give advice, I'm going to give you my opinion. In almost every case a child is best taken care of by it's own mother. That said, I feel an open adoption is what you should do, to a couple. I must add that you are still in the first trimester and you can not be sure you are even going to carry this through until you are past this stage, but I will assume you will make it.
Find a good couple, one you don't know, complete strangers, who will raise this child as their own and give it the life it deserves, one that you obviously can't, or won't. You have shown already that you don't make good choices, you can't even pick a boy with balls, it makes me wonder how you got pregnant. Worse yet, you were stupid enough to have sex with him, hopefully it was before you knew these things, but I doubt it. That really has no bearing, for you should never have sex with someone who you don't know well enough to know if he's going to stand behind you and has the balls to be a man.
For once, make the right decision and let a real man and woman raise your child, cause you'll screw it up, you could never show this child the love it needs. I'm sure you'd just end up resenting it for screwing up your life.
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I was in your situation. I had the baby,
married the babies father and we struggled
on our own and are still married today. We
are very lucky. We have worked very hard
at keeping our marriage strong and healthy.
If your not sure your boyfriend will stick
around, he probably won't. Can't depend on
him. I agree it would be just to difficult
to let a relative adopt the baby. I think
an open adoption where your info is
available when the child turns 18 would
be ok.
If you want to keep the baby yourself, that
is fine too. You need to remember that most
of the care needs to come from you. Its very
easy for example, for your mom to do a lot
of the care taking. A couple of years from
now when you are ready to go out on your own,
that could lead to big problems. She may
feel the baby is better off staying with her.
Just a problem that's best to avoid.
It all comes down to you being ready to
assume a very large responsibility. If
you honestly don't feel you can handle it,
adoption to someone not in your family is
the best way to go.
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Honestly I cannot tell you what to do b/c it is your life and your decision 100%. But my opinion, is to keep the baby. I also am against abortion and I believe that b/c you said you have so many people standing behind you, your 4 sisters and best friend, I would keep the baby. YOu can do this. You will need help and support but you can do this, I have total faith in you.
I understand how you feel, my best friend growing up got pregnant at 16. She had the baby last March. We were talking about her options, she kept her baby, and although it is hard work, she said she would never take it back, she loves that little girl. HEr baby is so adorable. Having a child though at this age is tough, b/c you have to stay home and take care of him/her, but they do deserve a chance to live. She couldn't give up her child, and she is so glad she didnt. So talk to your parents, family friends, trusted adults, and see how they feel and I think youll find that they will support you.
I wish you luck with everything, b/c this is a huge situation, and if you ever need anything please let me know.
<3 Jeannie
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