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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.
I have been featured 4 times. :)
advice
My gtandmother has been having a lot of health problems lately and she's just lifeless?
MY great grandma has broken her hip 2-3 times. She fractured her neck and its well now, she has a sore on her foot that won't go away, the doctor said just leave a sock on it and let it get will but it isn't. She can't walk because her foot. She doesn't talk to anyone and she barely eats. I think she feels lonely or depressed about her health problems? Idk, we try to talk to her and she doesn't talk, sometimes we try to get her to eat and she doesn;t eat. She just lays down, not saying anything & sleeping or slouched staring into space. She doesn't want to get up and she's always cold even though it's literally 105 degrees outside and its not cold inside. She always has cover over hear head. She stays with my aunt for a half a week & my grandma for half a week. She doesn't like for them to change her diaper, feed her or anything. What could be wrong? What can we do?
Hey there,
I'm sorry to hear about your great grandmas health issues.
It's completely natural that she may feel depressed given everything that's going on with her.
She probably feels like life is weighing her down at the moment.
These are classic signs of depression. She probably also feels like she is losing her independence as she has to have you guys caring for her 24/7 It's not a nice feeling and most elderly people like to regain what little independence they may have left.
You just have to let her know that you guys love her so much and that you will be there for her in whatever shape or form she needs. If she wants you to back off a little,respect that and give her time. But let her know that you won't be too far away.
If she doesn't talk,sit with her anyway. Hold her hand or maybe tell her stories? Even if she doesn't reply just let her know what's going on in your lives. Make her feel included. Maybe ask her about some events in her life?Anything she likes talking about that she can re tell? I know when my grandad was sick he used to love telling us all his life stories,it really helped him to cope.
Basically just keep doing what you're doing and hopefully she will come around :)
Good luck and much
Hi everyone!
I'm with this man now, we were on and off for about a year, but for the past month and a half we decided we cared for each other too much and really got serious. And I can honestly say I love him, which I've never felt before, he's my second serious bf but the first who ever took me out and introduced me to his friends. To me he's perfect! (though 5 years older than me, which occasionally causes trouble but we usually forget about it)
Anyway, my problem arises more so with my father, my parents never were very faithful to one another but I believe they loved each other, about 2 years ago my father cheated once again and my mother had had enough of his betrayals so wanted a divorce... This was a messy, angry divorce. My dad cut all contact from me, I had no birthday/Christmas cards and he had been telling everyone I should be making the effort to call him, as if he was the victim. This was as I was doing my A-levels and preparing for uni, so I had alot on my plate.
So basically, ever since I'd caught him cheating and seen how hurt my mother was from a younger age, it seems to have stuck with me. I can't trust men very easily, not with that at least, I'll do anything for my man, but when he is asleep, and his phone is there I have to fight every fibre of my being to not look at it, since he forbid me too really... He gave me his fb password and his phone password based on the trust that I'd not use them to snoop and I have done very well considering my history, but what I want is a way to get over the paranoia!
I haven't told him, because I know I'm being stupid and I know he loves me. He's a man that enjoys many friends and his freedom and I don't want to restrict that, but as I'm a uni student we have to spent holidays apart, and I read into the smallest thing all the time :(
Is there a way to just get over this one trust issue? without involving him too deeply preferably :) thanks
Hey there,
Okay it's completely natural to feel this way given the way your father acted.
Girls look up to their fathers as role models. Our father represents the way in which we see many other men.
The fact that your man trusts you enough to give you his fb password and phone password says an awful lot. It means he has nothing to hide right?
Which should give you some peace of mind.
I would really reconsider telling him about it if I were you. How do you know that it won't actually help?
Sharing your insecurities with your partner brings you closer together. He will be able to reassure you,and you can work on getting through it together.
That way you won't frighten him away.
But of course that is an option completely up to you.
Have you considered counselling?this could be a great way to really vent all your emotions and fears,as well as beginning to overcome your paranoia and trust issues.
Remember not all men are like your father. There are great men out there. Sometimes we just need to let our walls down just a little to allow them in. There is a risk of getting hurt of course but that risk is there with any relationship in life.You just have to take the risk.
You won't get anywhere if you don't
So please consider talking to someone about this :)
Good luck and I hope I helped
much
My best friend is visiting me for two weeks and I'm not sure what we should do. We are both 12 and won't have very easy access to transportation. What could we do?
Hey there,
Why not get a load of dvds and have a girly night in? Get some chocolate popcorn and juunk and just chill? You could get face masks too. Me and my best friend used to do this all the time. Paint each others nails do make up etc. We used to get dressed up and just take a bunch of goofy pictures when we were that age too lol.
Baking is also fun. Make some cool cupcakes or cookies?
Make a random youtube video? If you have transportation go to the mall movies bowling etc.
If not why not take a walk to the park if there is one near you?
Invite more friends over for a sleepover one night.
If you put your heads together you can come up with more ideas! Good luck and have fun
Much
Ok so I have actually had my first kiss before but my new boyfriend hasnt and we've been dating since november. He says he wants to kiss me before the school year ends (thursday) and I said okay but truth is im so freaking nervous =/ WHy am i nervous about this when Ive had my first kiss before? Advice? Hes really shy..
Hey there,
It's natural to feel nervous when you're going to be kissing anyone for the first time! Regardless of whether or not you have actually kissed someone before.
It's probably just because you like him so much.
I remember my first kiss with my boyfriend. Bearing in mind we had both kissed tonnes of people before. But we liked each other soo much we were both so nervous and just spent ages lying really close to each other before we finally did.
Just remember to relax and take it slow.
Also remember it's his first kiss ever! so he is probably going to be equally if not more nervous.
It will all come together naturally don't think or stress too much about it because then it won't be special.
Good luck and much
Hey everyone(: well I recently started watching the movie anne of Greene gables and I loved it! Well me and my mom went to go get the sequel, called Anne of green gables the sequel though, it is also known as Anne of avonlea. Well I looked it up on Wikipedia to see what it was about, and it said the movie went all the way through to we're Gilbert has Scarlett fever and she accepts his marriage proposal. Well when I watched the movie a few minutes ago. It ended where emmeline, the girl from school. Leaves with her dad. The one that is supposed to ask Anne to marry him and she declines. Is Wikipedia wrong or is the movie messed up, because I would really like to see all of it. I don't know if maybe that was the first part to another movie, and if so what's it called? I also rented Anne of Greene gables the continuing story, and it starts with her and Gilbert already married. So what am I missing? Please help!!! Thanks(:
Hey there,
Wikipedia is never reliable. It can be edited by anyone and everyone. So if things don't add up it's more than likely wikis fault.
I doubt that the movie is messed up. I have never seen it so I can't elaborate on that part.
Sorry I can't be more of specific help just telling you not to trust wikipedia.
Have a search around on other sites. :)
Try this
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088727/
It might clear it up.
Good luck!
Jess 18/f
I went on another date with this guy, and its not that my gut says move on, when I'm with him he makes me happy. Makes me feel like whatever happened in my life is pointless, I can move on from it.
The night before our date, I told him the only way I would take his jacket is if we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
During our date at the end of the movie, he tried to give me his jacket, so I said "I don't know what your talking about" but he replied with "Oh, I think you do"
My question, Did i completely miss a chance to finally be his girlfriend?
Hey there,
I agree with the previous columnist your first paragraph is a bit off.
Needs some elaboration and clarification.
Anyway, Why did you say "I don't know what you're talking about?"
You told him the only way you would take his jacket is if you were bf/gf He offers you his jacket a clear sign and you refuse?
He was obviously hinting..why didn't you accept?
He might feel a bit confused by this and like you were sending him mixed signals.
You might not have totally missed your opportunity but you did put a dent in it.
Keep hanging out and maybe it should arise again.
Good luck
Jess 18/f
Right yesterday me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time,he wasn't a virgin but I was and we did it and before we did I told him 'the condom's loose' then he didn't look and he said 'its fine that's how its ment to be,but it was actually half way down his penis ,but I just thought 'oh ok' cause I didn't know but in the end after we did it,the condom came off and he thought he had cumed,now I'm scared incase I get pregnant! I have told him if I have a baby he will be the one driving me to get an abortion and will be paying for everything! I know I've done bad but it has been done now and I can not change it,please help me
Hey there,
Okay try to calm down. The more you stress the more anxiety you are going to bring upon yourself and that's not going to help. I know you are probably freaking out right now but you don't know for sure if you are pregnant or not.
The more you stress the later your period will be if it will even be late at all.
I would strongly suggest you get the morning after pill. Seeing as this happens yesterday you need to get it today or tomorrow! As it is best effective within the first 72hours. After that not so much.
I know its awkward and embarrassing having to go get it trust me I know I've been there and had to answer a bunch of embarrassing questions,but better to be safe than sorry right?
Good luck and much
20/f. I have been with my bf for 18 months now, and sometimes I contemplate whether or not we will be together forever or if I am wasting my time. We have so much fun together and definitely lots in common, but we also have very big differences as well, such as some of my friends obviously don't like him, and my family is not a fan of him either. As for his friends and family, they love me. There isn't a really solitified reason why some of my friends and family don't like him, it just kind of came to be that way. I'm also very outgoing and social, with lots of friends; he has one good friend, and two other casual friends. It may not seem like a big difference, but it is when it comes down to making plans and lifestyles, etc. As my last point, sometimes I think he can be a bit immature for our age, but only with his not having a job reasoning, and how he never pays EVER when we go out. Actually, I pay almost all of the time, unless he brings money, then we pay separately. I have listed a lot of negatives, but there are lots of positives as well. I just don't know what to do or what to think. Any opinion would be very appreciated, thank you! Sorry this was long.
Hey thank's for inboxing. :)
Okay I guess the real question here is do you truly love your boyfriend?
If the answer is yes then you will be able to overcome these differences and they shouldn't matter so much.
When you are with someone for so long it's completely natural to question things and notice their flaws and what not. But sometimes the real beauty of a relationship is not agreeing 100% or being totally compatible.
It would be nice however if he paid once in a while It's always nice to be spoiled. Me and my boyfriend usually split the bills but every now and again when he can afford it he will pay for dinner and movie.
I think you should sit down with your boyfriend and voice your concerns.Talk it through. It helps a great deal. However you also must realize that you can't change a person.
Are these differences you are willing to accept and live with? Such as your family and friends not liking him that's pretty hard to deal with.
You need to decide if your love for him surpasses these differences. Can you overlook them or are they going to always weigh heavily on your mind and heart?Because if they are you might want to seriously think about the relationship,and if it's worth the stress. Have a talk and see where you stand then.
Sometimes these little doubts go away on their own and you become more accepting but other times it just doesn't work out.
Go with your heart it's almost never wrong! As cliche as that sounds. Chances are deep down you probably already know the answer.
Good luck and much
20/f I've had a boyfriend for over a year. We usually do everything together, but some of my college friends have asked me to go out with them, specifically one of my good (girl) friends from school. She wants to go to a party at a house that will be coed so there will be other guys. She never said I could invite my boyfriend, would it be wrong for me to go to the party (not talk to guys flirtatiously at all) without my boyfriend? I want him to come, but I think if she wanted him to come she would have asked. I feel awkward now and I don't know what to do. Thanks
Hey there,
Personally I don't see it as a problem at all should you chose to go. In fact if I were you I would go!
It's completely healthy for boyfriends and girlfriends to do things separately. It shouldn't be an issue. Like you said you are going with your friend to have a good time and guys will happen to be there,it doesn't mean you are going to do anything with them.
You need to be able to socialize without your boyfriend from time to time.
I go out all the time without my boyfriend and vice versa. We trust each other completely so it isn't an issue.
Why not ask your friend is it okay if he comes along? I don't see the problem she probably forgot to mention. Or maybe she just wants a girls night?
Talk to your boyfriend about it if he is feeling insecure and reassure him that nothing will happen with other guys. He needs to be able to give you this space though and allow you to go out on your own from time to time.
Good Luck and Much
I am a girl(17). I watch porn 3 to 4 times a week. I want to stop doing this. Everytime i watch porn, i feel loads of guilty, but i do the same next time. I was caught watching porn once, but my mom didnt say anything. Please help me......i am an indian
Hey there,
You shouldn't feel guilty. Watching porn is completely normal and healthy. Loads of people do it. When it becomes obsessive or addictive however that's when it becomes a problem. Like if it's getting in the way of everything else in life.
3 to 4 times a week doesn't seem that bad too me.
Don't stress you are among millions around the world who watch it. There is nothing wrong with it.
Good luck and much
Hi, what does my boyfriend mean by, ''love you loads'' as i always say i love you but he always says, love you loads, and he rarely calls my name, he uses ''dear'' word. so guys help please. thank you all.
Hey there,
It's just an expression it means I love you a lot.
Like he really really means it. He is just emphasizing it. Dear is just an endearment like babe honey,baby,sweety,sweetheart,love,sugar etc.
He's just being affectionate.
Good luck and much
Okay so the guy im dating now is pretty awesome, but we have awkward conversations all the time and hes a boring texter weve been dating for three weeks now and all i hear is either eww cant believe you like him she dated him to,im thinking what the hell or im hearing im so glad I told him to start liking you if i never told him to like you,you guys wouldnt be together at first i didnt believe her but two nights ago i found a note beteen them sayding hes not over his ex and she isnt to happy were together either so on the note she says why dont ask angie out and he says oh i dont know if she likes me so ya its annoying me like ya i asked him before why does he like me he said he like me the year before ever since then a little and that he doesnt like being single and something else but i forgot. we already kissed three time too and ever since the first kiss he says i love you alot. is he like using me or something. matter of fact im not even sure i like him that way cus when i text him i dont get excited that much,but when i text these other guys i get all happy and blush like crazy and those guys i can actually talk with its not awkward at all. they also always say stuff like you and your boyfriend arent going to end out well and that they think im beautiful,they said those things before i dated my boyfriend so okay im asking should i dump him cus heck hes just dating me so he isnt single, honestly i dont care cus i like being single myself.also how do i stop the other guys from flirting with me, and to deal with my bestfriend saying that stuff????thanks so much-angie!!!!!!!!
Hey there,
Okay this was a little hard to read but i'l give it a shot.
If I'm honest it really sounds like you are not that into your boyfriend. It seems you only like the IDEA of a relationship and not the actual relationship. Same goes for him,he even admitted he's only with you because he doesn't like being single. You should be in a relationship where you are really crazy about the guy and he WANTS to be with you and you him. Not just for convenience or for the sake of saying you are in a relationship. Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship because everyone else is.
It's especially obvious you aren't happy if you are finding comfort in compliments from other guys.
I think it's time you end it and move on. Be realistic here. You don't love him so what's the point?
If you are uncomfortable with other guys flirting with you tell them to tone it down a little.
You also need to talk to your bestfriend. Let her know her comments are hurtful and unwelcome.
Good luck and much
Okay, my best friend told me she was lesbian this morning, and I'm attracted to her. I afraid to tell her I'm lesbian, and she's really sexy, and I don't think she likes me like that. She hits on me, and I act disgusted, but I'm really not. I'm afraid she'd turn me down if she knew I was lesbian. What should I do?
Hwy there,
You shouldn't be afraid to tell her you're a lesbian. She had the courage to tell you?. Don't act disgusted. Why should you feign an act? If she hits on you then why would she turn you down? She is a lesbian too remember so what's the problem here? You are both lesbians you are both attracted to one another so go for it.
Don't be ashamed of who you are and act disgusted. Don't pretend to be something you're not.
Tell her how you feel. Nothing to lose everything to gain.
It's not like she's a lesbian and you're straight and vice versa.
Good luck and much
So I had this dream last night.Here's the dream in details:I was at my grandma's house,and Liam Hemsworth was there,with some 8 or 9 year old chinese boy.My grandma hurt her hip,so she asked us to help her sit down.So I grabbed one side of her arm,and he grabbed the other.Once we finally helped her into the chair,she asked him to get a book for her off her bookshelf.
He said ok,and went to get it.
But for some reason,he had took his shirt off.
Once he brought the book back,she handed me her glasses,and told me to put the glasses on him.
So I took the glasses,and reached to put them on him,but he was wayyyy to tall for me to reach him.
He smiled at me,and I smiled back.
Then I woke up.*End of dream*
But the wierd thing about this dream,is I only recently found out who he was,when I saw the Hunger Games movie.And,I don't think he's cute,I just like his accent.
What does it mean,if it means anything,and is it wierd?
Hey there,
Our dreams can mean all sorts of things. Sometimes they are our subconscious' way of letting us know something.
Usually there are just our mind replaying the events of the day in some random weird way.
In this case I wouldn't take much meaning from this.
It seems completely random.
It's probably just because you found out about Liam Hemsworth and it crept into your subconscious.
I have the weirdest dreams ever! Trust me this is normal in comparison.
I wouldn't stress over what this means it's mostly likely nothing of significance.
Good luck
Jess 18/f
We are 15 years old. She has had sex with a numerous amount of guys. I don't get why she is doing this. She was molested by her piano teacher as a kid. We got her help for that. The man is in jail for life now. He has done that to 3 other girls. She was also molested by a boy at summer camp when she was younger too. She is terrified of men, so why is she having sex with all these guys? I am trying to help her but she isn't listening. She is on medication for other reasons. She has had a number of other things wrong in her life. Why isn't she taking the help that is offered to her? I am do scared she is going to end up pregnant or with an STI. How do I get through to her. Also her parents know she is having sex. They found condom wrappers in their basement where she has sex. Also my other grirbd told them she has been having sex. Help me please! Urgent! I am so scared
Hey there,
It's possible that your friend associates affection with sex.
It's often the case with sexual abuse victims. They long for love and attention from men and so to obtain that they have sex. I know it may not make sense to you or I, but it is a coping mechanism for your friend.
She has to see that what she is doing is lowering her self esteem further. She is degrading herself and is ultimately going to make a name for herself.
The best you can do is just continue to be there for her like you have been. Be supportive and show her how beautiful she is. How she is worth something. How she doesn't need to have sex with random guys to feel like that.
what happened to her was awful. Two vile men, no strike that creatures,took advantage of a young vulnerable girl. Try to make her see that they were animals,not all men are like that. There are some truly loving,honest,decent and kind men out there. Try and explain to her that she shouldn't let these men define the rest of her life.
Is she seeing a counselor or therapist? Perhaps express your concerns to her parents. Suggest counselling. She will reach out for help eventually. Just stay strong and let her know you are there for her no matter what.
You are a great friend.
Good luck and much
This boy and I have been friends for quite a while now. We started to text as friends but then it grew on to a flirting level, I started to really like him but when I told him he went really awkward and wouldn't pay attention anymore, he would not reply to my messages. I was being a little obsessive and would not leave him alone, then he turned around and said I do not like you get it in to your mind, we argued and then I appologised and I asked to be friends and he agreed but he is still being awkward through texts when I even try to make conversation. I must admit I have fell in love with him, it feels like he has torn me apart, I don't know what to do. I thought may be friends then it would build back up because he seemed interested before. Can anyone help me on what to do or say? May be text him and say something to make him realise or.. I don't know I am confused and hurt, what should I do? Someone please help I really appreciate it
Hey there,
I can understand how hurt you must feel. It's not nice when you pour your heart out to someone and they respond by shutting you out.
If I were you I would do my best to forget about this guy. He has made it clear he doesn't like you like that,and unfortunately at this point there is nothing more you can do about it. If you continue to send him texts he his just going to ignore you further. You don't wanna come off as desperate. The way he reacted wasn't fair,sure its bound to be awkward for a while but if he was a true friend and cared about your feelings he would make more of an effort to move past it. He dealt with the whole situation in a most insensitive manner. On the other hand you cannot make him have feelings for you as much as you want to. I know how much it sucks I have been in this position before. I would say the ball is in his court now. You have apologized and asked to be friends. I wouldn't text him first anymore let him make the effort.
Do your best to forget about him and move on. Spend time with friends and keep yourself occupied. Whenever you start to think about him do something fun or relaxing to distract yourself. Like listen to music watching a movie or going shopping. I find when I am really stressed I like to bake but that's just me!
Wait for a guy who will truly appreciate you and show you the respect and adoration you deserve. Don't be disheartened there are nice guys out there. Don't let this one set back hold you back. My inbox is always open if you ever need anyone to talk to.
Good luck and much
can we wear pad when in Wild Wild Wet i got my period on Monday and on Friday i will go to wild wild wet.i was worried about it if i could go wearing a pad while swimming?
Hey there, Generally speaking a pad is not suitable for swiming. This is because the pads absorbancy will become saturated with the water,and therefore you could leak. So its not ideal. To avoid a potentially embarrassing situation I would advise you to wear a tampon. If you are new to tampons buy ones with applicators and remember to relax while inserting. However if you got your period monday it should be nearly gone by friday depending on how long you usually last. So you might not have to worry. Good luck. Jess18/f
Last night I had a terrible argument with my boyfriend,I insulted him, I treated him really bad and practically sent him to hell.The thing is that I'm sure that he's cheating on me.He told me he was in bed but I could hear the sound of a car passing by,so I immediately figured he was actually in his car pretending to be in his room,why does he do that to me?We made a promise some time ago and he just can't keep his f&$&& word!I'm so mad but at the same time I'm missing him a lot,it's driving me mad,even though I know I should dump him and try to forget all about him I just can't,and I'm eager to receive his call cause I cannot stand being alone without knowing anything about him.What can I do?Shall I call him,text him?or shall I try to think about nothing but me from now on and what to do tomorrow all by myself now?Thanks,I'm so sad...
Hey there,
You may not like this at all but anyway..
Okay how do you know he was cheating on you? Do you have any actual proof? Did it occur to you that he may have actually been in bed?and that car you heard was just one passing outside?There are loads of possibilities and explanations to this.
I think you may have over reacted just a little bit.
Did you give him a chance to explain?
I understand you may be feeling insecure and are afraid of getting hurt and this leads you to act a little paranoid and accusative. But this will only drive him further away.
You said it yourself you are not sure he is actually cheating on you?
It seems like you have some genuine trust issues. And if that's the case perhaps you should take a break from him and work on that yourself.
Has he ever showed signs before that he may be cheating? has he a history of it?
The fact is you can't assume these things unless he has been acting genuinely suspicious.
Example lying to you all the time sneaking behind your back not coming home etc.
I think you need to sit down with him and explain your fears and worries. Maybe you just need reassurance.
Otherwise you are going to drive yourself absolutely crazy. You don't want to become the jealous paranoid type trust me.
I really think you are jumping to conclusions. Just talk to him okay?
try not to worry.
Good luck and much
Hello Jess! It's alexisgirlie! I just read your advice to the person who asked about how to commit suicide, and I believe you have some really strong reasons why suicidal people should choose life. I run the website survivethesuicideurge.org, and I would love it if you could submit an article or success story to our website. What do you think? You can e-mail me at alexisgirlie@gmail.com if you would like to help.
Btw, I love reading your advice! Really incredible :)
Hello :) Thank's for getting in touch!
Wow that would be incredible. I would absolutely love to participate in some shape or form! thank you so much. I will definitely take a look at the site and email you! I think the fact that you are running such a helpful site is amazing. So many people turn a blind eye to it!
Thanks again!
-Jess
So I really like this guy, and I think he's flirting back - but he's so intentional to everyone, so i don't know if he's really flirting or just acting like he always does to girls.
he's 22.
i'm 20.
here's the queston: what are some body language signs i can look for to see if he is flirting? / interested or whatever! thanks
Hey there,
Okay ask yourself these questions:
Does he brush up against you? Find reasons to touch you or be near you? Does he go out of his way to talk to you? Does he flirt a lot? Pay you compliments? Notice how he acts around other girls. Does he act the same around all girls or is he different with you?I.e pays you more attention? Usually the player types will flirt with every girl but a guy who is truly interested in you will only have eye for you.
It's always hard trying to gauge if a guy likes you,or is just being friendly. Some guys are natural flirts. Flirt with him and see if he flirts back!
These are the subtle ways I use to try and tell!
Good luck and much