My wife of 24 years has just left me and moved back to her parents citing my unreasonable behaviour but I am suffering depression and on medication ,I have changed the way I react to people and sent all my phone contacts a text stating I was going to become a changed person ,given up smoking ,been going to a counsellor with my wife and now she says that she has not loved me for a couple of years.I have 2 boys 1 is 21 and in the army the other is 15 and she has left him here with me.she wants her freedom not a mothers commitment but I have no choice in the matter and i am left to pick up the shattered remains of our lives while she goes out all the time now with friends.should I give up on her and walk away or still try to save our marriage ,my boys want me to try and save the marriage and thats what I want to do but how long is trying to save a reasonable length of time.I am 56 and my wife is 44.
First I want to say I'm so sorry about that, I'm sure that you're deply hurt by this... And I'm sure time will make your pain a little bit lighter.
I really mean what I'm about to say! I know that your kids really want there Mom and Dad back togeather... And that's exactly what I would want if I were them.
But I really think that maybe you should now focus on yourself and your children. She clearly dosen't want to be with you. And she has given up her responsibility as a mother to go hang with friends. And at the age of fourty four wow!!!!! I would think that a women that age would have gotten all the partying out of her system. But I stand corrected.
And I see that you two has been togeather since she was around the age of what????? 20... She was really young when she took on the responsibility of being a wife and mother. And it seems as if she missed out on a lot of her young adult life. You were twelve years other so I'm assuming thirty two at the time ( Please correct me if my math is incorrect never really been good at it :>)When you meet her she was a very young adult and it seems that she really never had a chance to be a true young adult. She missed out on partying, clubing, road trips with friends and alot of other things.
I'm not trying to justify her actions but I think a small part of her wasn't ready for what she gave you. Some people can handle getting exclusive at a very young age but others can't... And the fact that she did make that choice to wed you and have kids by you and then split, I feel that she is a coward.
She not only left you which is bad enough but she left her children behind as well. And that doesn't make her any better than any dead beat father walking around. So please use everyday to try to heal your heart wounds... And make life a little more easier for your children.
Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying to focus on getting back togeather with this women... And focus on yourself and your children. She may or maynot ever come back but for the time being you have to continue living.
Do what you have to do to get out of this depression stage. It's so easy to wallow in self pity and be swallowed up in depression.. But sometimes we find it so hard to just simply live and be happy... We don't know what's in store for us in the future... But worrying about people who's long gone out of our lives is heading to no where zone fast...
I have answered some very simple questions on here but yours is the most difficult question I ever came accross. It's really sad... But you gotta move on for yourself and your kids... And even though your siuation is hard, trust me somebody else is a little harder.
- The best of luck to you and always-
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Ok here goes... I am a 23 year old female. And it's this really hot guy that I like for about six years now... Actually we meet before and we exchanged numbers but at the time I really wasn't giving him any play... So time flys by and then later I was ready to talk to him but he just ignored everytime since I blew him off before.
So on face book I bumped into his profile... And I sent him a request but he didn't accept. And my felings instantly became hurt. So I mae up a facke profile using this really hot girl pictures. And I sent him a request he instantly tried to hit on her and... I played back with him.I told him that I was away in college and that I'll be coming back his way in like a month.
So for about three weeks and a half we chatted... On Im's facebook and even on the phone. And I know he really started to gain feelings for my fake profile. He even went as far as to saying he loved her. So when it was geeting close to the time when my fake profile was to see him I came out and told him.
I felt sad for him and bad that I decieved him like that. And over time I had started to gain feelings for him. I mean he really adored who I was playing to be and a part of me secretly hoped he'll like me the same.
So when I revealed who I was... He acted really shocked but he promised he wouldn't be mad at me. And he said he wanted to be friends. But he said that I had to perform oral sexual acts for him to forgive me. And I did two nights in a row.
And instantly his whole demeanor changed... Now he treats me like crap, he ignore most of my phone calls and he treats and talks to me like trash.
But when I was acting as if I was the fake profile he absolutely adored her. He would call everyday, ALL DAY and we would talk from sun up to sun down, and now I go days without hearing from him... And that isn't the worst part.
I've been really afraid lately like walking on egg shells. We stay in a small town and he's really popular. I mean everyone knows everyone. And the reason why I out up with alot from him because I'm scared on Facebook that he will annouce on his wall what I did and alot of means things about me... Because he's friends with some of my friends and family...
And it's like he have something hanging over my head that's why I performed the sexual acts in the first place... But at the same time I do have some feelings for him What in the world should I do? Please help me
Umm... You were being used duh!!!!! I don't want to be rude and all, but sometimes we can all use a little tough love.
This guy is odviously a jerk! And I don't know if maybe you're caught up in some romance comedy (The truth about cat and dogs) Maybe????? Because honey this is real life and people are not just going to get decieved by you and then automaticly just fall in love with you.
It's totally clear that you never really was what he truly wanted. And the girl you played to be was all he wanted. So him being the loser and jerk that he is, He asked you to perform a degrading act with some retard promise that you will be eventually togeather. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he really wanted to be with you, he would have ask you on a date. MOVIES, OUT TO EAT, BOWLING, WALK ON THE PARK, BEACH.... That's what a decent guy would have done. Personally I would have been flattered that someone would go threw such extremes to get to know me. But this guy is a creep and he took advantage of you.
And all you got out of this was pure shame and embarassment... And he another notch under his belt. Hopefully next time you can learn to wake up. Meet guys the normal way let them approach you, ask you on a date and treat you like the queen you are.
Break all ties with this loser. And find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve... and not some street hooker...
- The best of luck to you and always-
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I am a 40-yearl old female, married with no kids. My parents visit us often. They adore their son-in-law. Me, on the other hand can't do anything right. I have a kind heart that reaches out to one & all around me- which according to them is "me allowing them to become sponges". I am torn 'cos the conflicts have only become worse over the years. I try to have a fresh start & everytime it ends on a sour note. Can you please advice?
Hello YOu! And sorry you're not worthless, no one is! No matter how pathetic some people are. We all have down stages in our lifes where we feel as you do. And trust me at this time in my own life I have many crosses to bear myself.
And sometimes I even wake up so sad and so miserble and so full of regrets that it's almost unbearable. But soon those feelings leave and I try to focus on the postives things in my life no matter how small they might be.
And one thing you can not do is, look at someone else life and compare it to your own. And don't let anyone make you feel any less than a person or small. You have to block people out no matter how hard it maybe. And you have to focus on being a better person. God still allows you to live every day on this earth, and it's really for a reason.
I'm the last single women out of seven sisters who's married. So just imagine how my family gatherings are. I get real lonely and I do have family members that others sometimes put on a pedestal. But I've come to realize is... We all have our own time to shine... And we cannot look at movies, or listen to songs, or even look at others life and expect ours to go that way.
We have to find ourselves and be happy with ourselves.. Because truthfully that's the only way things will ever get better! We can't sit around wating for some prince charming or some other great oppurtunity to just fall in our lap. We have to find happiness within ourselfs. If we start buildin they will eventually come and so will happiness... At Last
- The best of luck to you and always-
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(19F)
Last night I stayed at my cousin's house with her and her boyfriend. I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years and just recently met another guy. This new guy is amazing. Well, last night he came over to where I was staying and we hung out. We ended up going to get some drinks and when we got back we fooled around in his truck. Later on, after my cousin and her boyfriend went to bed and we ended up having sex. He stayed with me almost all night and I thoroughly enjoyed what we did, but this morning when I woke up I was feeling regret.
I want to stay with my current boyfriend, should I tell him what happened or should I leave it alone and just move on?
Thank you
It's really truly up to you. And I'm sure you're going to have different advice concerning your question. But my opinion is I wouldn't tell. Because from my own personal experience men seem to be less forgiving than women.
But... morally you should tell him... What you did was wrong and I'm sure you no that, that's why you titled your question regret. Deal with what you've done and move on or simply come clean... And hope that he will forgive you.
And if he does your relationship may drasticly change. He won't trust you and he will be deeply hurt. You've been togeather for a very long time, and you should also consider the relationship that you're in.
Is there something in your relationship that's lacking? Why was it that you cheated on him and went as far as sexual intercourse with someone else?
I've never cheated personally, but I've been cheated on. And it's not a good feeling. When I was told by my ex that he cheated once before. Our relationship really suffered a low blow it was as if we really lost something. And we ended up never recovering. I'm not telling you what to do. But if this guilt continue to eat at you maybe you need to relieve yourself and tell him... What ever you decide I wish you the best of luck and always
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19/f - I'll try to keep this short, but I don't want to leave things out!
I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now and we got very serious very fast (we talk about marriage, the future, etc), we are completely in love, which is what makes this so hard for me. There is just one issue that I can't get off my mind and I don't know if it is a red flag or if I should try to look past it because what we have is so special.
I was raised in a very strict and very loyal family and I was raised to believe that you always stand up for what you believe in and you fight for the people that you love. Because of this I am a very strong woman, and I expect men to be strong men.
What attracted me to my boyfriend was his maturity, he carried himself like a man should. However, in the past he hasn't stuck up for me when I felt he should. This didn't alarm me because I handle my own issues, and I really don't have many (I generally get along with everyone)but it was never as bad as now..
His roommate posted some sexual things on facebook about me and my boyfriend, and I am very private about my sex life and have made it a point not to sleep around so I was really uncomfortable with this.. especially because people I knew were commenting on it and laughing about it. So i explained to his roommate why I was upset and asked him to delete it, but he responded in a way that I don't even understand. he posted things like "you just want more attention" and "some one call the humane society to put this b***h down" and evern more sexual things about myself anf my boyfriend. Obviously, I got incresingly upset.. not mad, just embarassed and bullied really.
My boyfriend saw how this bothered me, and mentioned something to his roommate, but his roommate went off calling me names and he just backed down. His roommate continued to harass me via facebook and called me names that should have infuriated my boyfriend. But he never stuckl up for me. After I told my boyfriend I was dissapointed in him, because it would have been one thing if I were being rude back but I wasn't, and weeks later he stepped up to the plate and made his roommate apologize.
Now his roommate is blatantly rude to me, and him and his girlfriend talk trash, and my boyfriend does nothing to help. He says he tells him to stop, but I feel as if by now he should do more than politely say "stop" He tells me he doesn't want to have an issue because he's rooming with his roommate again next year..... I feel that if he handled it correctly his roommate would respect him and they would be friends soon after.
All in all, I lost respect for my boyfriend and am questioning whether or not I can compromise on something like this. I understand why he doesn't want conflict, but now I feel like the protector of the relationship and it's a big turn off. Is this something and can move on from (because I am in love with him, want it to work), and how do I do it? Or is this something that simply makes us incompatable and I should end it?
P.S. the problem isn't his roommate or any of that, it's how he handles conflicts vs. how I think a man should handle conflicts.
Thank you to all that answer, I know it's long.
I understand really where you are coming from. And I can't understand after all your BF roommate put you threw why haven't your boyfriend severed ties with him! And why is he rooming with this odvious jerk again who constantly disrespect his girlfriend. Is it because he has to for whatever reason or is because he's just doing it again?
A real man is not going to let someone disrespect the women he loves. And his roommate is constantly doing it because your boyfriend isn't really putting his foot down. And what does that really say about your boyfriend true man hood. His friend is a jerk to the highest power, and it seems that for a long time odviously you're going to have to deal with him for a while.
I mean it's all most digusting, he's putting sexual things up about you on facebook. And your boyfriend isn't really doing much and being a push over about the whole siuation. It's wrong and I would be completly angry.
What you need to do is have a talk with your guy. You need to give him some sort of ultimatum! You need to make it crystal clear that he needs to come to your defense a little better than he is... Or you can find someone else who would. I'm not saying break up with this guy because you odviously love him... And it seems that his roommate is your biggest obstacle... But you seriously need to think your relationship threw.
Threw out your lifes theres going to be others who may disrespect you, life is filled with jerks like his roommate. And if he handle this siuation so lightly what will he do in the future. You don't deserve to be disrespected. BUT YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO HAS YOUR BACK AND WILL STICK UP FOR YOU!
-The best of luck to you and always-
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I am a 25 year old female. And it's this guy I've been seeing for the past month. Ok here goes... Our first time being togeather we went out to eat. And everytime following we only went to his place. We have been intimate everytime we see each other and we only see each other like at night mainly after ten at night.
I have gained really deep feelings for this guy in such a short peiord of time. I usually go over his house because he lives alone, and my aunt lives with me until she gets her own home. And when I do go over we usually watch a movie. But what I've come to notice is he don't cuddle with me during the movie he don't put his arm around me only time he wants to cuddle is mainly when we are about to have sex. And we mainly have sex after we finish watching the movie. And another thing I notice is that he shows no emotion towards me. He's always getting phone calls late at night and he runs in the room to answer the phone.
And just the other day when I was over, I forced him to have a talk with me. I asked him how he really felt about me and I told him I tiered of just having sex and I didn't want to this time. So he told me told me thathe had to meet with his brother and I had to leave. I was hurt and really confused.
And yesterday I found out my best friend of twenty years past away. And when I got the news I was over his house. He didn't confort me he didn't hold me and I was really crying... He just took me home and he still haven't call to check up on me. It's easy to just leave a guy alone that you don't really care about but... When theres feeling involved it's always so hard for me to leave. Usually their the ones who leave me and that's how I usually move on. And it's so hard right now alot of things in my life haven't been going right. What should I do? And how can I do it?
Very Sory about your friend passing... And I hope you will learn from her life and apply the postive to yours...
You're in a bad siuation that you must leave. And by your friend passing it should really be a wake up call for you to want to move on...
This guy cleary doesn't have respect for you, he's using you for his own sexual needs... And he proably is in a relationship or have others tucked on the side...
He's clearly using you for sex... And it shows so much in your words that you want so much more... But you are only playing yourself short if you expect more out of someone who's clearly unwilling to give you what you want...
He's not honest with you and I believe he knows you want more... But he's a user type of guy someone who prey on women such as yourself and uses you up until he fills he's had enough...
It's very clear, look at his reaction... When you found out your friend has passed... Any normal human being would have comfort you and adleast checked up on you... And heres a guy that you have been giving your body and soul to... and he doesn't have the least bit of care concerning you...
It seems as if he's cold and he turned his feelings off when it concerns you... You know why because his main agenda was to bed you.. Not grow close to you... And I'm sure that you are a beautiful amazing girl... And at a time like this you need to surround yourself with friends and family... People who care deeply for you not the likes of this guy...
Your way better than someone's roll in the hay.. And I don't mean to come off so direct but what you seek is advice... And you've already been lied to enough... Leave him alone for your own sake... And please learn the to tell signs of someone who care and someone who don't...
The best of luck to you and always....
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So i met this guy, and by his looks he is definitely not my type. Infact, i dont go for guys out of my race. (He's still half white though). But he has an amazing personalility, all the qualities of a guy im looking for; he's beyond perfect. I want to ask him out, but the looks are bothering me. I know looks have nothing to do with anything, but even though i like him, i dont think i could do anything physical with him like kissing. Do you think its just because its in my head? And do you think a relationship can last even though you arent sexually attracted to them? Do you think i should just be friends or go for something more?
I use to date super attractive guys and still I ended up alone and hurt. I feel that you should not always go by looks... Because you can end up playing yourself short... So many people I know has said that there husband or wife was not the ususal and typical type that they usually go for.
And love what a beautiful thing because once you fall in love with someone it's blind... No matter how that person looks their beautiful in your eye sight... My opinion is I'm team personality I think that when it's all narrows down it's really what's inside...
Looks fade over years... The skinny grow larger and the blackest hair turn gray.. The smoothest skin wrinkle... But what's inside stays the same...
The best of luck to you and always
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Ok here goes. I'm a 26 year old female. I've been threw a lot of relationships that failed. And for a couple of years now I've been on my own. Lonely and quite miserble and I'm currently trying to peice my life back togeather. So about three weeks ago I met a guy at a bar, he was much older than myself ten years to be exact so I thought wow a refresher. Usually I date always date guys around my own age... So I was instantly drawn in to this guy. So we talked on the phone and he took me out to eat so... I taught it was cool. It has been a while since I've really been out with a guy. So after the date we started talkng he invited me to hs home and we were intimate. Big mistake to soon and my feelings for him instanstly started to multiply I mean heres a guy I've known for a week that I slep with and now I have serious feelings for him. So every night basicly after that I continued to go over his house and sleep with him. And lately starting last week he started to change he only invited me over one day and the other days he barley answered his phone or when we talked he barley even paid attention to our conversation. So yesterday which was easter My family was over and my sister brought him up in the conversation. And I started talking about him and to my utter amazement my brother and law knew him. He grew up in the same neighborhood and he told me things about the guy that was shoking to me. He told me that he was a drug dealer and he was married before. OMG that threw me for a loop because just earlier that day I was talking to him and I heard a female in his background and before I could say anything else he quickly said he was about to take a shower and he hung up his phone. No matter the low down things you hear about a person when you have feelings for them it's really hard to get over that person... Superhard to move on even though I know that he only wanted sex with me and he really didn't plan on getting to know me that's why he lied about it. But I know he will proably call me and I just dont know if I would have the strength to resist him. Olease tell me any ways that I could do to get him out of my life for good!
It's really odvious, He only wanted you for sex. You didn't get the clue when all you did was go over his house at night. It's pretty odvious! And second he lied about important things in his life because he never intended to really get to know you. And if he had any respect for you he lost it when you slept with him so early.
Like I said before you can never truly put a time limit on sex... But having it to soon can be damaging to you... And that rule is not for the good guys out there... It's for the bad ones who will only use you for one thing and move on to the next...
This guy is a drug dealer what type of future could you really see in him. Because if he dont change his ways he's heading two ways in jail or in death. He live the fast life lots of money and lots of women. And all you were basiclly to him was another notch under his belt.
You could be a great amazing women, but a guy like him would never try to get to know you just to really find out. He proably even have a women already and if not... He proably have so many more... My opinion is stop answering his phone and texts... Don't call him at all anymore... And see how much he chases you... If he just lets you go than you know but if he calls and calls... And trys to constantly see you and chase you, you will know he have much more feelings than what you thought he had...
Sometimes we as females has to stop chasing guys so much. Let them chase us... And maybe than we'll know how much he truly care for us...
The best of luck to you and always
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if you saw your husband sending messages to other girls lets say thru facebook or myspace etch and he wrote "hey bby let me get your aim or msn,your a cutie" while being with you would you get mad?? but without him knowin you check his thing .
Yes odviously he's a cheater. Verbally and physically cheating is the same. And something had to have made you suspicious that's why you checked his FB And myspace. You really need to reconsider weather you want to stay married to a guy like that... Because my theory is you only live once and life is to short so why waste it on just anybody... The best of luck to you and always...
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I will keep this as short as possible. Basically my boyfriend and I are going through a bit of a "rough patch" We've liked eachother since almost a year ago, but we never got together. He was never really sure what/who he wanted. He always told me
he really liked me, but when I first met him he had split up with his girlfriend 2 days before. He wasn't too bothered about it, I remember asking him why and he said she was a "b*tch" We carried on as friends and he mentioned her on a couple of occasions, usually saying bad things about her e.g. pranking calling him all of the time. Around September time me and him fell out, because I really liked him and although he said he liked me, he weren't ready for a relationship. Whilst we had fallen out I know he was in contact with his ex girlfriend again, but they never got together. 3 Months ago he apologised to me, he said he really missed me, liked me etc. His ex girlfriend went crazy when she found out we were together, he told me that she had sent him a text message saying he was a jerk and all this. I asked why she was so bothered if they'd split up almost a year ago, he said they'd started talking again but she was a "b*tch" I know she always wanted him back, so I was really happy when he was ready for a relationship...and with me. I feel like she's caused problems between us though. I don't know for sure though. One of his good friends Carmen is friends with her, so whenever my boyfriend goes to these parties his ex is always there. I was glad that he told me that she was there instead of hiding it from me, he said that she asked why he used to be in moods with her etc. But he told me that he refused to speak to her until his friends told him to stop being mean. He has been to a few parties where she has been, and I know he wouldn't of cheated on me with her, but it makes me wonder what she has said to him. The past week my boyfriend has been confused about his "feelings" I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said he didn't know how he felt. Am I being paranoid or will his ex have something to do with this?
You know what I think? I think that when you jump into a relationship with someone who recently ended a relationship with someone you can possibly be setting yourself up for faliure. Because you don't know weather that person still has feelings with his ex or not. And from the sound of it, it seems like he's playing you and her like some sort of yo yo. And yes that is pretty fishy why would someone who's been broken up for a year with someone get mad because their ex is dating? Sounds Very fishy to me. And now he tells you he's confused. Personally I think you should leave this guy alone! Go on with your life and in the future don't deal with a guy with so much baggage. You're a beautiful person... And some other man will love you like you are suppose to be love... The best of luck to you and always
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My boyfriend broke up with me 7 days ago because i was to clingy and he felt like he had "had enough of me " for a while .He went on vacation for 4-5 days and didnt speak a word to me.He came back 2 nights ago and we hungout the night before,and last night..because he asked to hangout with my friend (a guy) and i was there because he's like my best friend.We got along good and talked out our problems and agreed to be reallly goood friends.Ofcourse I still like him,but if he doesn't want any more then friends is better than nothing.We had no reason to "hate eachother" and whatnot because our break up wasn't a nasty one.Last night,he had his brother call me to see where me and my friends were.They came to the party we were at and ended up coming back to my house after with me,my friend,my ex boyfriend and his two brothers.Normally i'd think my ex boyfriend wouldn't wanna come back to my house,seeing as though it was sooo late already but he really wanted to go.We were all laying in my bed,but i was trying not to lay on my ex but we were all squished so we were close.He was rubbing my hip for a few minutes,so then i got up and went to the bathroom.He got up and knocked on the door to ask if i was okay.Then he went in my sisters room to lay down since she wasn't home and the other bed had no more room and he asked me to come lay with him.He held me and we watched tv.Then he went in for more (because when we were going out we did that often) we kissed/made out and he kept trying for more but I told him "no" and that we aren't going out and we can't do that and i told him that we should maybe start "talking" again but take it really slow.And he said " no,forget this ever happend" and continued to lay there then tried to go in for more AGAIN,and i said the same thing and he said he'd "think about it" but then people came in my room to sleep with us and we just slept next to eachother (like we used to ) and he left.He texted me 20 mins later and said" hey im really sorry about last night ,i was really drunk" and i said " i was to,don't worry about it i guess.." because I wanna act like i dont care and not be clingy and annoying like i would normally do.and then i just didnt respond after a few texts.we had such a good relationship and it feels weird just being friends and if we are friends,it's gonna be hard to get over him because he became close with my good guy friend (my best friends boyfriend) and im always with them.I'm trying to play my cards right and just not text him first,not be all over him and smoother him and see how things pan out.But i need help!
I feel that you did the right thing and two thumbs up to you for it... Many other females would have fail prey to his advances especially if they held any feelings for him... The other advice giver is right you need to move on... Maybe he'll come back maybe not... And you are doing the right thing not calling him all the time and not over texting him.. Because that would only push him farther and farther away from you... And since you're alone right now work on yourself.. Because you stated that you were clingy and what turns a man off the most is a clingy possesive women.. And what's good is you understand your flaws and everything you did wrong... And that better you as a person to stay in a healthy relation next time that will LAST. Hey this guy may come back... Maybe more time away he'll realize he really do still care for you or.. Maybe he want maybe he'll just move on because your relatonship could have been over before he even told you so... And when guys move on OH THEY MOVE ON! So hang out with your friends go shoping have fun enjoy the fact that you're young beautiful and it's millions of guys who will want you... Know that and always keep that in mind... Don't spend your days lying in bed thinking what if... Because if it was really meant to be you would have stayed togeather or he will eventually return... The best of luck to you and always...
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Most guys don't want you to come crawling back to them right? because my boyfriend just VERY recently broke up with me and hasn't talked to me.I plan on not contacting him,changing my relationship status,changing my facebook picture,and making my status's look like im moving on because I know he will see them.I want him back more than anything.Am I doing the right thing by pretty much not acknowledging him? Usually I end up begging and repeatedly contacting and it has NEVER EVER worked.advice?
I really agree wtih all the other advice givers... I've begged my ex before to get back with me. And I really believe to this day that it spoiled any chance we had to rekindle... And I give you two thumbs up because you're doing the right thing.. It's the mans job to chase and presue... And it will seem to him that you're moving on and maybe that will make you more desireable to him.
Alot of girls should be reading this... Because this is some must no info. I have a friend that can't seem to stop chasing a guy and no matter what I say she would not listen... And that's a sad case in its self... But I believe that you're really doing the right thing... The best of luck to you...
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19/f
so my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and we're so in love. We trust each other and that's a big deal with us. Except I screwed up...
Today I snooped through his computer and found a lot of upsetting things. Not too serious, no cheating, but I'm still really upset and I feel played. I don't want to talk to him about it, especially because I was in the wrong to snoop. But I can't get over this feeling and he knows something is wrong.
I don't know if I just ruined my relationship bc this is the kind of thing thats hard to get over and I can't look at him the same. But I love him so much, so how do I forget it and move on?
Please help, I'm lost.
P.s. Girls learn from me, DON'T SNOOP. I just wish I never saw any of that :(
When you snoop you sometimes find things that you really don't want to find. And I agree with some of the others. How long have you guys been togeather? And what exactly did you find when you snooped around? Was it something about him or something he has done recently to make you not trust him? Because theres a reason for it all.
What's so familar about you is really like looking in the mirror. You know I use to do the same exact things and I got my feeling hurt everytime. Sometimes you just have to leave well enough alone. Because odviously you do not trust him. And something you shouldn't ever do is tell him that you been snooping threw his things because nothing will upset a guy more and he will loose his trust and respect in you.
And if you don't mind going into more indept details maybe me or one of the others can advise you more properly... And I understand exactly what you mean about not snooping. Because trust me I would never do it again. And the way you sound it seems to be some bad things he's been doing behind your back. Maybe flirting with other women perhaps...
I know you're hurt and I'm really sorry for you but, If you feel that you can't trust him maybe you should consider moving on but... If you feel that maybe it was a little harmless flirting and maybe you can get over it than maybe you should just forget about it and move on... Either decision that you make I wish the best of luck to you...
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my boyfriend of nearly two years was a total ass to me ever since i got mad at him when he cheated on me so i eventually broke up with him. its ben over a month and i should be getting better by now.. i was totally over him and fully better i even went on two dates, until i listened to a song my ex did guitar and sang for on recording which i wrote the lyrics, so i broke and cried so hard. i havent written any music since we broke up maybe five weeks ago, which writing was everything to me along with painting. he even still has my three best paintings at his house im to akward about it to ask for them back..
how can i get over him better? i know the usual stuff but what else could i do??
how can i start writing again, it reminds me too much of him and im just at a writers block i dont have a clue where to start??
and what do i do about the paintings, i guess its ok if he keeps them as long as he keeps them safe and not ruins them especially on purpose..?
I'm a writer like yourself and writing is my most ultimate passion. If I take alme off writing I feel really bad like somethings really missing. And if your as passionate as I am about writing you won't let some guy devert you from your true passion. Yes you been with the guy for nearly two years and being with someone that long and breaking up begans a long process of healing.
A one point you may really believe you have truly gotten over that person than something may happen and bam you're an emotional reck... It's natural and it's normal and the saying one day at a time is what really works... So you have to take it... And you're talented writing music wow what great talents you have... Talents that can take you so far in life. And there all in your brain wating to be released...
Let me tell you I'm not asham to say I've been threw my fair share of break ups and heart breaks... And trust me I know It's no ride in the hay. So you know what I do? I let my mind wander... I write books and poerty so... I use lifes dissapointments to create beautiful poems... I let my emotions drive me to a world so beautiful and when it comes out in paper people are amazed.
The way you are feeling write it down. As your tears flow write until you can't write anymore. Write how you feel about the break up and the things that you have been doing to overcome it... Some of the best songs in history has been based of break ups... Keep that in mind...
The best of luck to you and always
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I'l summarize this as much as i can.Me and my boyfriend were only together for about 3 months but we got very attatched.We were together way to much,but didn't fight that much either.We would be with eachother from the minute we wokeup to the minute we went to sleep ..it seems like.He was the boyfriend that was my best friend as well.He broke up with me ..randomly.I had no idea it was coming. He said " he doesnt like me as much as he did,he sees me as more of a friend,i didnt give him enough space,etc" (typical breakup stuff) then he said "that im the coolest,cutest most amazing girl ever ".I cared way to much for him,i made him food,i wrote him cute letters,i drove him every where everyday,yes he acknowledged that I cared to much ,,which drove him away.It's been two days and my friends have talked to him and to one of my friends he said "he knows he's gonna miss me" and my other friend said that he said " he was alright but sad " and that he had a sad look on his face the whole time they were with eachother.We haven't spoken a word to eachother really since the breakup.He was my first real boyfriend and he told me I was the only girl he ever loved and he's even cried to me 3 times and said he's never cried to anyone before.His family is down this week so he's been occupied with that and he's going to his brothers college (about 3 hours away) for a few days just to spend time away.I'm hoping when he comes back,he comes back to me to! Or i atleast hope he's thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about him.Since he broke up with me,i won't dare text him or call him..that's his job! He said he wanted a "break" but we both ended up taking it as a "break up"..We didn't have a nasty break up with yelling and screaming or anything.Do you think he'll come back?
Maybe it's hard to tell or even say... Sometimes they comeback sometimes not. It depends on that person really. But one thing you canot do is not put your life on hold wating for his return... Because if you do and he don't come back you will be devastated.
I've really been in your shoes before and I have spent alot of time too much time with my ex. Maybe that's a some of the reason that he is my ex. But we all know that time apart mends the heart. And it makes it grow fonder. So that can be a mistake sometimes... So if you two were to get back togeather maybe that's something you need to change even if he does ask you to be around with you.
Hang out with your friends, family, time with yourself... And focus on the things you like and last but not least never make someone your all your entire because, if they leave you'll have nothing left...
Will he come back to you? I don't know Noone really knows but he. But until then focus mainly on yourself and the process of moving on...
The best of luck to you... and always
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I am a 26 year old female... Ok here goes... About two weeks ago I met a guy... We started talking on the phone and that following Friday we went out to a resteraunt... And afterwards he took me home and that was that... So the nextday he called and we talked heavy all day on the phone... I found out things about him and him me... And what I really liked was the fact that he was ten years older so quite naturally I felt that he was ready to settle down... So the next day which was Sunday night I came over his house and we watched a movie... And then I end up having sex with him... And afterwards I felt thaat it was way to soon and I felt stupid and cheap... But what made me feel better was, after he dropped me off he called me and we talked about an hour later... So I felt that he just didn't want sex he wanted more... I work and I go to medical school so I leave out of the house 7 in the morning and I'm not home to after eight at night... And so that Monday night I called him and he asked me to come over his house so I got in the shower put on clothes and then I came over... And again we watch a movie and we had sex... So everyday until today I have been going over his house doing basicly the same... But somedays I been over there I have been noticing things... He gets a lot of calls on his cell phone... And sometimes he'll go in the other room and I'll here him saying that he'll be over in twenty mintues... And this is at two O'clock in the morning... ?his phone is always on vibrate... And other times since I go to med school and I work I come home really hungry and when I get home I quickly shower get ready and go over his house... And so I'm hungry and he never offer to take me to a resteraunt or he never have any food in his home for me to eat snack on whatever but... It's times that before he pick me up from his house that he actually gets food and dont offer me anything when I'm on the phone complaining that I'm hungry... So since Monday threw Friday I'm so busy all day so I didnt mind spending time with him late at night... So Satuday no school no work so quite natrually I assumed that we will spend the day togeather going out to the movies or out to eat but... he barley answered his phone and when we did talk it was briefly... S about 9:30 to night I called him and he told me that him and his guy friend were at a resteraunt... And he told me later on he'll come pick me up to go over his house... OMG that reaally hurted my feelings here I am starting to fall for this guy and bascily I feel I'm not even worth his time... And the crazy thing is I never seem him in the day time... And I really dont believe he was even out with his friend... So from what you heard about my story how do you feel especially sinceit's almost twelve and I still havent heard from him yet and my feelings are so hurt... Please give me your advice... Ps: Thanx for listening because I need to know am I playing myself short...
Honestly I think you are. Going to med school working wow, it seems that you are a smart independent women! And you don't need someone like him that treats you like a bootycall. Yes booty call are you familar with the slang. Ok I google the definition of a booty call, Ima give you there definion and then Ima give you mine. Booty call- A telephone call usually the sole purpose of which is to elicit a spontaneous or casual sexual encounter with the person so contacted. And the recipient of such call usually USED of a person who accepts or typically accepts the callers invitation.
My definitoin of a booty call is, A women or man that uses there partner for only the company of sex. As far as calling you with only a invitaion in mind for sex. Does that sound familar to you? Ask yourself that question? Everytime you are togeather you're over his house at night. You went out one time, and call me old fashion or not but, my idea of a date is going to the movies out to eat, mall, sight seeing, amusement parks, picnic, walks on the beach, park etc.
And it seems to me that he's uses you for different reasons. And one thing you need to realize is age isn't anything but a number. Just because he's older than you doesn't mean he's more mature than you. It's not a persons age but a person true self. Some guys thats in there early twenties has a more mature and settled mind than this guy.
And yes honestly I believe you played yourself short giving in sexually to early. You're way worth more than that, And you can't always put a time limit on when to have sex with a person. Because it's some guys out there that would have still respected you. But we put time limits on sex because of the guys like him that want respect you and will only use you for there own sexual gratifications and needs.
Yes! he's talking to other it's so odvious. And a guy that really cares for you is going to want to see you happy. He's going to pay attention to your needs and wants and desires. And if he can he's going to fullfil your every need the best way he no how. This guy is not simply because he don't care about you at all. I know I might sound somewhat harsh but I simply tell you the honest truth. You are no more than a booty call to him... A vampire date- A person who's only taken out in the dark of night. And you're not a cast member of "Twlight" so you need to think twice.
Learn from your mistakes and use wisdom for the next guy that comes in your life. I hope What I wrote hepled and I wish the best of Luck to you and always...
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I'm a 26 year old female and I just want someone to please tell me what you think! Ok here goes... About three years ago I meet this guy... And real and kinda soon I fell real fast for him... We became inseprable, and I have a daughter that's five and she grew attached to him as well... My family did to and he and my brother became fast friends... We were so in love... And a year later he broke up with me after a argurment... But instead of telling me it was over he decided to just dodge me... He never even spoke to me or my family members... He wasn't even man enough to come to me and tell me how he felt... And my daughter who grew attached to him was deeply hurt... It really took me about over a year to get over him and to this day I still harbor hate and resentment issues towards him... So about 6 months ago I went to enroll my daughter in school... and to my disappointment his mother works there... So I had to run into her... Even though I didn't feel it I was nice and I spoke to her... And until today I really never held a convo with her... I would just see her around in school... But today I had to actually go to her office to talk to her about my daughter missing school... Because she was sick... And his mom is the school nurse... So we begin talking... And she started bringing up his sister... And how she was doing... And then she brought up him... She actually told me that he was getting married... To his exgirlfriend which is his sister best friend and the women that she wanted him to be with all along... She even went as far as to take his fiances picture off her desk and show it to me... Ok now here goes... My opinon of it was that she was super insensitve... She shouldn't have brought that up to my face and it was like she was bragging and boasting about it... It really hurt my feelings because even though we've been broken up for two years now... I still had a small hope that one day we will reunite and now it's totally out of the question... So please someone anyone tell me about this siuation let me know what you think thank you
Yes you are right, the mother may have been insenstive to you. I have a daughter that is six years old. And let just say twelve years from now she gets into a relationship and breaks up for whatever reason, and I bump into the guy later down the road. I wouldn't throw it in his face that she's engaged or in another relationship. Because I don't know hw he still may feel about her. And because I wouldn't know the full details of the break up I will keep my mouth sealed. And if I were to bring her up I'll just tell him she's doing well and I'll tell her that I seen him. I really read your message carefully and you mentioned that his mother and sister was very fond of his ex and you think his mother wanted them to be togeather all along.
Well there you go. Oh she's delighted that you two are not togeather. And she may have gone really far and actually showed you the girl picture because... That's what she wanted all along. And some people also take pleasure off of others misery. For all you know she could have exaerated some about there relationship and it may not be all peaches and cream that you think it is.
And since your daughter goes to school that she works... You're going to have to see her. Don't show any anger or anything you may feel about her.. Smile speak and go on about your business.
And yes I agree with the others who offered there advice. It's been to long of time to harbor feelings for someone. He was cold selfish and insenstive to you. A person like him is someone that you do not want in your life. It seems that you were in an exclusive relationship with him. And he wasn't even man enough to tell you to your face that it's over. He was a coward and a jerk... And you are far better off. And personally I wouldn't want to deal with a monster n law like her anyway... The best of luck to you... And I hope you can find more strenght in your self to endure more. This may or may not happened again... So don't waste away your precious years mourning someone who's been dead to you years back!
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how do i get over my ex boyfriend when he used to be a really close friend and i like being his friend but im still in love with him and its hard to get over him because he is always around because he hangs out with the same people i do. wat do i do?
I've been where you are countless times and, unfortuantely it's not fun. My advice to you is to maybe stay away from the friends who hang out with him for a while. And if you do continue to hang out maybe do it with him not being around. And let them know that you don't want to hear anything about him. Because friends and family can tend to sometimes be oblivious to our feelings. Without knowing how much it will hurt you they may bring up him dating another girl. Or the last thing you will want to see is him bringing around another girl... That will cut you like a knife... Look at it this way when you break up with someone you have to symbolily think of them as a death. Because we all know when someone dies there gone for good no matter how he cry and ask God to bring them back. So sometimes you have to look at it that way. Give yourself a week to mourn that person. Put the relationship in a casket... And bury it... And move on with your life from there... Yes it may take time to get over that person it all depends on how love you were with the person. But hanging around all the time with an ex is only going to freeze feelings. My advice to you is to try at best you can to stay away for a while... Focus on yourself the things you love to do... Make your days fun like hanging out with friends, family, going to the mall movies, any sports anything you like to do do it ten times over... Don't sit around all day crying lying in the bed and thinking what if... It doesn't work and nine times out of ten he's not thinking of you as much... Some men move on really quick. And if you continue to hang around him to your disapointment you'll see how fast... The best of luck to you...
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Hi,
i met this guy on facebook,i'm 39 hes 37, we chatted on line for a couple of weeks and he was txting me everyday, then we arranged to meet up(hes a photographer so offered to take my pics)he was charming and i got the impresion he really liked me. the next day he text me. in the evening my husband came home we wernt getting on to well he was shouting at me so i text this guy and arranged to go over there that night, we jumped straight in to bed but did'nt go all the way, he was texting me all the following week and we arranged to meet up again, the next time we met up we jumped straight in to bed with each other, he asked me if i was still sleeping with my husband and i said yes, after i felt he went cold on me making out he was on the phone to one of his friends and that they were coming round shortly so i said do you want me to leave he said no but he still seamed a little distant so i left, i messaged him on fb asking to meet up again and he said he was busy all week,i said is it because im still with my husband and he said no. i text him during the week asking him how he was and had no answer, so i text him are you not talking to me? he said he was just busy! well we arranged to meet up the following week(i was only going to get my photos but we ended up in bed again) then the same thing happened he did'nt text so i text him only to get i'm busy back so i deleted him from my facebook, but i couldent help liking him so i added him again, we arranged to meet up again, the night before we were surpose to meet he text me saying he couldent make it and could we meet the following day but i said no i was busy, then he kinda got funny so i deleted him again, but i still liked him so added him again. we finally aranged to meet up about 6 weeks later, i text him the day we were surpose to meet up and he said he had forgoten all about it and said he was ill and had been ill all week so i said i think your not that interested he said he did'nt say that and things would be different i wasent with my husband, so i got mad and deleted him again, i did'nt contact him for 3 weeks but couldent help to way i felt about him so i made contact with him again, i told him my husband and i had split, he messaged me about a week later some random txt saying hay its snowing and we kinda got txting again but only every few days, this went on for about 8 weeks then i sent him a friend request on fb and he excepted it, it was only a couple of days after that when he asked me to go over to his so i did (he said he didnt have long) we ended up in bed, after he asked me to stay but i said i couldent, then the same thing happened he didnt text but when i text him he replied, then after about a week i was getting that cold feeling again so i deleted him again,then afther a couple of hours i thought i like him so sent him a friend request with a message asking him to meet up again, he didn't reply, so my friend phoned him and he said i had to many male friends, then i went on fb to find he had sent me a message saying he just wanted to be friends i was deverstated and told him i was still with my husband,
i left it for a month and then messaged him again asking how he was, he replied, i keeped messaging him every few days and he replied this went on for a few weeks he never messaged me though, after a while i stoped messaging him,he never bothered to message me, then after about 8 weeks i bumped in to him in the swimming pool he said hello i ignored him and he said hello again so replied hello, i was with my husband and kids at the time, i left it for about 4 days then i told my husband i had slept with him. my husband messaged him and said he new what had been going on, the guy replied that he had been seeing me and that he had stopped talking to me because he suspected i was still with my husband but this guy new i was still with my husband i the beginig so i sent him a message telling him that he knew i was still with my husband and he just blocked me. so i sent him a txt calling him a lier and a user, and he said i'm the lier and cheater you rekon you cheated on your husband and to stop contacting him, i said you new i was with my husband in the begining and if that was a problem then you should have said you used me and good luck for the future, after a few weeks i went to buy a new car in the garage that he worked i ignored him and was flirting with another sales man, after a while he came over i didnt realize he was the manager he said to the salesman that he knew me for facebook and he sat down and made me fill out the form for the car, then he said that he didnt think my husband would want to deal with him so put us on to someone else, when i went in there again on my own he came over to me and told me he had cot the finance and that he had worked hard to get it for him, this wasent true! i dont undrestand why he bothered even coming over he didnt have to then every time i went in the garage he was watching me, now i'm really confused he hasent made any contact neither have i but i still like this guy what can i do?
You really sound like a mess. How do you expect a guy to like you and you're married. First it seems like all you two do is, sleep togeather. Never once did you mentioned that you went out anywhere. You may not like what I have to say and personally I don't care. I really don't care to much about ratings. I tell people the truth weather you want to hear it or not. But you sound pathetic, You're in your thirtys and your talking as if you are in your teens. Going to face book meeting guys sleeping with them and you're a married woman with kids. What type of an example are you setting for your children. And lord forbid if you have a daughter. How can you expect a man to respect a married woman who sleeps around on her husband. You have no morals and very low standards.And any ladies that's reading this ,this is clearly the reason why some men don't respect woman. You odviously need some sort of mental help because you are really pathetic... And I personally don't have any sympathy for someone like you... I hope your husband and your wanna-be lover both leave your ass!
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Ok, so I'm a sophmore and there's this guy that i really like, and i think he likes me too. You see he is in three of my class periods but he NEVER sits next to me (thats why i think he might not like me) but he is always looking at me whenever i look up at him. So i think he DOES like me is because of yesterday. During Biology the teacher asked me a question i didnt know and he lipped the answer to me, but i missed read it and got the answer wrong, and he was smirking at me. Then in spanish 2 he was walking towards me like he was going to sit in the empty seat next to me but one of his friends called him over and he frowned and walked away, towards his friends. Then, later on that day, in study hall i was doing my some work on my essay due and looked up, just to think of a word, and saw him staring at me -- smiling. I blushed, errg, and he laughed and i looked down with emberresment. He laughed and looked down, too. I looked back up and he was staring at me smiling, again! So i shot him a confused look. He dropped his smile then turned his head to the side because the door opened, but i didnt look. He turned back to me looking really surprised so i turned and saw a guy with tissue paper hanging out of the backside of his pants and turned back to him. We were looking at each other for ten seconds, stunned, and broke out laughing -- quietly. Then his laugh broke out this surprised me because whenever he talked to me it was always soft and quiet, but this was loud, really loud. Everyone looked at him and he just said "Oh, sorry" (which was also loud) and just looked down. I started laughing harder then snorted -- yikes -- so now everyones eyes were on me, including his, and he started laughing and shaking his head and looked down.
So from this can you tell if he likes me or if he just thinks im a weirdo?
I totally agree he does like you. And he have it for you bad. I think you should go for it really!
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