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A good ear to listen Please
I'm a 26 year old female and I just want someone to please tell me what you think! Ok here goes... About three years ago I meet this guy... And real and kinda soon I fell real fast for him... We became inseprable, and I have a daughter that's five and she grew attached to him as well... My family did to and he and my brother became fast friends... We were so in love... And a year later he broke up with me after a argurment... But instead of telling me it was over he decided to just dodge me... He never even spoke to me or my family members... He wasn't even man enough to come to me and tell me how he felt... And my daughter who grew attached to him was deeply hurt... It really took me about over a year to get over him and to this day I still harbor hate and resentment issues towards him... So about 6 months ago I went to enroll my daughter in school... and to my disappointment his mother works there... So I had to run into her... Even though I didn't feel it I was nice and I spoke to her... And until today I really never held a convo with her... I would just see her around in school... But today I had to actually go to her office to talk to her about my daughter missing school... Because she was sick... And his mom is the school nurse... So we begin talking... And she started bringing up his sister... And how she was doing... And then she brought up him... She actually told me that he was getting married... To his exgirlfriend which is his sister best friend and the women that she wanted him to be with all along... She even went as far as to take his fiances picture off her desk and show it to me... Ok now here goes... My opinon of it was that she was super insensitve... She shouldn't have brought that up to my face and it was like she was bragging and boasting about it... It really hurt my feelings because even though we've been broken up for two years now... I still had a small hope that one day we will reunite and now it's totally out of the question... So please someone anyone tell me about this siuation let me know what you think thank you
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OK, so, you dated him for a year, and then 2 years after that, his mother is telling you he is getting married. Thing is, a lot people would be over it by then, not saying you necessarily should have been, there are a lot of things that can happen, but she probably just thought you were. Insensitive sure, but not really an evil thing to do.
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Yes you are right, the mother may have been insenstive to you. I have a daughter that is six years old. And let just say twelve years from now she gets into a relationship and breaks up for whatever reason, and I bump into the guy later down the road. I wouldn't throw it in his face that she's engaged or in another relationship. Because I don't know hw he still may feel about her. And because I wouldn't know the full details of the break up I will keep my mouth sealed. And if I were to bring her up I'll just tell him she's doing well and I'll tell her that I seen him. I really read your message carefully and you mentioned that his mother and sister was very fond of his ex and you think his mother wanted them to be togeather all along.
Well there you go. Oh she's delighted that you two are not togeather. And she may have gone really far and actually showed you the girl picture because... That's what she wanted all along. And some people also take pleasure off of others misery. For all you know she could have exaerated some about there relationship and it may not be all peaches and cream that you think it is.
And since your daughter goes to school that she works... You're going to have to see her. Don't show any anger or anything you may feel about her.. Smile speak and go on about your business.
And yes I agree with the others who offered there advice. It's been to long of time to harbor feelings for someone. He was cold selfish and insenstive to you. A person like him is someone that you do not want in your life. It seems that you were in an exclusive relationship with him. And he wasn't even man enough to tell you to your face that it's over. He was a coward and a jerk... And you are far better off. And personally I wouldn't want to deal with a monster n law like her anyway... The best of luck to you... And I hope you can find more strenght in your self to endure more. This may or may not happened again... So don't waste away your precious years mourning someone who's been dead to you years back!
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Hey well i do think what the mother did was cruel and unnecessary, but that's life. You just need to realize that your better off without him. But i think you should talk to him, for closure. Don't bring up the fact that you talked to his mom. Just ask him why he decided to leave you over 1 argument? well good luck & i hope i helped.
Nikita the Cheetah
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This is what was suppose to come to you. What I deleted was a little fire house humor ment for a friend of mine who was complaining about nonsense 911 calls.
The two answer that proceed mine go in opposite directions concerning the mother of your ex boyfriend. I agree with the first response in that the mother was probably just trying to be friendly and put you at ease by bringing you up to date on members of her family you would know. She was a little insensitive about the former boyfriend but she may not have known how badly his actions were in leaving you. So the benefit of the doubt might be given here.
As far as your ex is concerned you may want to consider yourself the lucky one here. Can you imagine being married to someone who would rather runaway from a problem then face up to it and resolve it? Regardless of what the problem was all problems are like dancing, it takes two to make it happen. Being married to someone like him, male or female, is loaded with pit falls. You know how hurt you are now; imagine how it would hurt some years down the road if you were married to this guy and every time you two had a disagreement he gave you the silent treatment or ran home to mama. I�m sure it would hurt much worse especially if you two had another child together.
My advice is to get over him; he was and is bad news. If need be seek the help of a counselor. Carrying this desire for him this long is not good for you. Stop resenting his mother; she has done nothing to hurt you and you are going to have to interact with her as long as your child attends that school.
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I can certainly understand you being mad at him! He took the easy out and didn't give you any closure. Even though you didn't know it, the relationship must have been in trouble already if one argument is going to set him off. He was probably just waiting for an excuse to run.
This happened long enough ago though that you really need to move on & try your best to get over it. I know that's easier said than done sometimes but you are the only one this hate and resentment is hurting. He's moved on, he doesn't care. Don't let him and his behavior keep you from getting out there and finding a great relationship for yourself.
As far as his mother goes, this isn't in any way her fault. She probably has no idea he just left after an argument and didn't come back. I know my
son has never shared details of a breakup with me.
I think his mom was just trying to make you comfortable, I don't think she meant to make you feel bad. Its been a couple of years, she probably assumed that you were over it by now. I probably would have assumed the same.
My opinion is that you may have been overly sensitive about it. I don't think she was trying to make you feel bad.
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I think it was the lowest cruelest act to just walk away and leave you like that, and for what, for an arguement? It doesn't seem to me like the arguement was anything major, cause if it was you would've mentioned it, so him just leaving that way could be of several reasons and i can't assume anything, but maybe he felt too committed and that pressured him and he wasn't ready especially being so close to your daughter and your family, made him feel uncomfortable, like he was married to you or something, and some people have commitment problems. Or maybe something was going on in his life, or he met someone else, or this ex of his and he kind of fell for her so he just walked away on you before he hurt you, or maybe he didn't see the relationship you had the way you saw it, or he couldn't give u as much love as u gave him ... there could be many reasons, or maybe he could just be an a-hole and that's probably it. All what i just told you are simply assumptions, don't take anything personally or into consideration.
And about his mom, somehow i don't feel like she meant to hurt you or rub it in your face, but i think that what she was trying to do was to tell you that he is moving on,and indirectly she's trying to tell you to do the same thing too, maybe she feels bad for you, you never know, she probably had a fight with her son about walking out on you, but its not as if she would take your side against his, you know, so just ignore her, and it was wrong of you to even stand there and hear her say all this or show you pictures or whatever, and you shouldn't even show her that you still care and have hope to get back together with him, you should've told her that you don't care and that your over him and you don't care about his future love life, and with all do respect in a polite manner.
And for you, you should move on, and let go of whatever hope you have, cause that's not gonna happen, and its good that you feel hatred and resentment, cause that will help you get over him, and honestly, what he did just overcomes any good thing you might have had together or any good memories. I know its hard and especially that he got close to your daughter and stuff, but he's just one loser, and there are many other nice guys out there who are much better than him, so don't give up or get depressed or stop your life right there, no, move on and meet new people and someone else, and someone who would really deserve you and you'd be happy with.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck :D
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