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So i met this guy, and by his looks he is definitely not my type. Infact, i dont go for guys out of my race. (He's still half white though). But he has an amazing personalility, all the qualities of a guy im looking for; he's beyond perfect. I want to ask him out, but the looks are bothering me. I know looks have nothing to do with anything, but even though i like him, i dont think i could do anything physical with him like kissing. Do you think its just because its in my head? And do you think a relationship can last even though you arent sexually attracted to them? Do you think i should just be friends or go for something more?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sometimes we have to look past the looks because some of those really hot, good looking guys are just jerks and very cocky. I understand it may be hard for you to date someone out of your race, but this may open your eyes a bit. And if you start to fall for him, I guarantee that the looks won't matter because that will start to attract you to him. However, if you see that it's going to nowhere, you should definitely go back to being friends rather than leading him on.
Good luck.
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i say go fo it:) im with this guy who's totally not my type. with looks or personality lol he's really goofy. but for some reason i'm just drawn to him. so even if you don't think he's your type just go ahead and date him. you'll never know till you try it. plus mixed guys are hottt;) lol.
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I use to date super attractive guys and still I ended up alone and hurt. I feel that you should not always go by looks... Because you can end up playing yourself short... So many people I know has said that there husband or wife was not the ususal and typical type that they usually go for.
And love what a beautiful thing because once you fall in love with someone it's blind... No matter how that person looks their beautiful in your eye sight... My opinion is I'm team personality I think that when it's all narrows down it's really what's inside...
Looks fade over years... The skinny grow larger and the blackest hair turn gray.. The smoothest skin wrinkle... But what's inside stays the same...
The best of luck to you and always
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For a good healthy relationship, you need some physical attraction and plenty of mental attraction. The fact that you aren't 100% sure, is a bad sign; if you dont see yourself with him them you probably better off as friends. You have given this guy a chance which shows you are not shallow, but you have to ask your self : Can i see us together? Can i overcome this physical barrier?......
Good luck
<3
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This sort of question just proves how shallow some people really are
Sorry...
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Hey there,
I think I can relate exactly to this question
some people will call this shallow but my current boyfriend has an amazinggg personality aswell and is so sweet.
However for a long time I was not physically attracted to him in anyway and I knew he liked me but I kept saying no when he asked me out beacuase I wasnt sure if I could bring myself to do all the physicall things.
I hated myself for it. In time after a few failed relationships I realised I should give it a go and get over the difference in looks.
I did this and weve been going out 5months..at first it was good but lately ive been starting to worry about what other people think as hes not usually the type that I'd go for.
I know thats ridiculous and we shouldnt care what people think but thats easier said then done.
Ive started to let it consume my relationship to the point now where I feel now I don't want to spend time with him which is not fair on either of us. I think Im on the verge of splitting with him.
Okay so basicly what Il say to you from my own expierience if you think you can get over your feelings of not being physically attracted then it could work as they say "beauty captures the eyes personality captures the heart" in certain cases its true and it does work sadly for me it isnt..and ive issues I need to work on.
I would say to you definately devolop a friendship with him that can't hurt ?:)
once you devolop a friendship you can go from there and see if you can let it be something more.
I hope this helped and don't let my expierence put you off you could be completely different to me..
best of luck anymore questions please feel free to inbox me,
hope this helped
much <3
Jess
16/f
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dont be racist..i personally wouldnt date someone out of my race but i have tons of black friends!..theyre exactly the same as anyone and looks do kind of matter because if your not going to feel comfortable kissing him then maybe you shouldnt date him but if you feel so strongly about him i dont think looks/race are a problem
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yeah, race sholdnt be a problem. Im white, and my bf is black, and we have been together over a year! its no problem!!
:)
Hope I Helped-
Kels
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I think you need to be sexually attracted to be with a partner if you it wont last. If you find it easyer to be his friend be his friend, but id give it ago your young so go for it!
luv roxie
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I do think you need to be sexually attracted to someone to have a relationship with them so you probably shouldn't enter a relationship unless you feel this way about them. However, it might just be that you're not used to thinking about guys from another race in that way. Perhaps if you got to know him a bit better you'd start to have stronger feelings for him, especially as he seems so perfect for you! Good luck
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Hun you like this guy and you cant deny it.. You said you cant go with him because he is out of your race.. you must of either been raised that way or you think its wrong.. you should look past that and still go with him.. or you should jus try to be friends with him at first and maybe you'll like him so much and not care and jus do it anyways.. You might end up being sexually attracted to him..but try friends first.. much luv dez x0x0
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In my opinion, I think all that should matter here is if you like his personality. Looks don't mean anything and it is all in your head like you said. I hope you and him work things out with each other for the best! I hope I helped too! :-D
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If it bothers you that much than dont go out with him. He deserves fair treatment just as much as you do. Relationships can last even though you are attracted to someone. You can be friends with him but maybe you should find someone else so that you can get your mind off of him. He deserves someone that will like him just the way he is. On the outside and on the inside.
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Like you said, looks have nothing to do with it. It seems like you know what you're looking for in a guy, and this particular one seems to have those qualities. I would go for it. I mean, once you get to know him more I think all the thoughts in your head will fade away. I, personally, think it's just in your head. It's all about what's on the inside. "Don't judge a book by it's cover". Goodluck, if you need anything you can IM me..
Hope I helped!
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Its all in your head you little racist girl.
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I think you should remain friends with him awhile longer. Maybe the longer you're friends, the more you will grow to like him, and the problems you have with his race will fade away. Let it be known that a romantic relationship will NOT work if you aren't physically attracted to the person. Also, the more you get to know him, you may find he is not as perfect as you really think. Good luck! <3
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you said it yourself
"I know looks have nothing to do with anything"
and that's because they don't. If you are so attracted to his personality I think you would have a much better time than if you went out with some guy you melted when you saw him and had the brain of a vegetable. His skin color should determine how you feel although I know some people it's harder to get over things like this because you were raised that way or grew up that way, but my advice is this. Ask him out, you will have a great time by the way you talk about him and soon you will be able to see past the skin. Good luck, if you need anymore advice I'm always around. :)
!Sarah
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Looks are something that's on the outside. If you really enjoy this guy, then you won't care what's on the outside. I know it still can bother you, but remember what's important. You like this guy a lot. And relationships can last without n/e thing sexually going on. I have a relationship like that right now! And the more you are with this wonderful guy, the more you will get used to the looks. You won't be bothered by them n/e more. So try him out.
Hope I helped!
~M
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Yes I think it's all in your head. Yes I think a relationship can last even though there's no physical things happening. No I don't think you should just be friends with him. If he's really that perfect, give it a shot. You could be surprised. Eventaully, you're going to want something physical. Not necessarily sex though.
♥ Always,
Maria
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It's never about looks but if you just can't stand looking at them then there is no point. I would say it is in your head though, but there isn't much you can do about it. It's just the way you feel. A relationship with no physical attriction won't last and will only mess up the friendship. You have to decide if it is all worth it. If you put those feeling aside and seem him in another light then go for it.
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