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What a mess I'm in
Ok here goes. I'm a 26 year old female. I've been threw a lot of relationships that failed. And for a couple of years now I've been on my own. Lonely and quite miserble and I'm currently trying to peice my life back togeather. So about three weeks ago I met a guy at a bar, he was much older than myself ten years to be exact so I thought wow a refresher. Usually I date always date guys around my own age... So I was instantly drawn in to this guy. So we talked on the phone and he took me out to eat so... I taught it was cool. It has been a while since I've really been out with a guy. So after the date we started talkng he invited me to hs home and we were intimate. Big mistake to soon and my feelings for him instanstly started to multiply I mean heres a guy I've known for a week that I slep with and now I have serious feelings for him. So every night basicly after that I continued to go over his house and sleep with him. And lately starting last week he started to change he only invited me over one day and the other days he barley answered his phone or when we talked he barley even paid attention to our conversation. So yesterday which was easter My family was over and my sister brought him up in the conversation. And I started talking about him and to my utter amazement my brother and law knew him. He grew up in the same neighborhood and he told me things about the guy that was shoking to me. He told me that he was a drug dealer and he was married before. OMG that threw me for a loop because just earlier that day I was talking to him and I heard a female in his background and before I could say anything else he quickly said he was about to take a shower and he hung up his phone. No matter the low down things you hear about a person when you have feelings for them it's really hard to get over that person... Superhard to move on even though I know that he only wanted sex with me and he really didn't plan on getting to know me that's why he lied about it. But I know he will proably call me and I just dont know if I would have the strength to resist him. Olease tell me any ways that I could do to get him out of my life for good!
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It's really odvious, He only wanted you for sex. You didn't get the clue when all you did was go over his house at night. It's pretty odvious! And second he lied about important things in his life because he never intended to really get to know you. And if he had any respect for you he lost it when you slept with him so early.
Like I said before you can never truly put a time limit on sex... But having it to soon can be damaging to you... And that rule is not for the good guys out there... It's for the bad ones who will only use you for one thing and move on to the next...
This guy is a drug dealer what type of future could you really see in him. Because if he dont change his ways he's heading two ways in jail or in death. He live the fast life lots of money and lots of women. And all you were basiclly to him was another notch under his belt.
You could be a great amazing women, but a guy like him would never try to get to know you just to really find out. He proably even have a women already and if not... He proably have so many more... My opinion is stop answering his phone and texts... Don't call him at all anymore... And see how much he chases you... If he just lets you go than you know but if he calls and calls... And trys to constantly see you and chase you, you will know he have much more feelings than what you thought he had...
Sometimes we as females has to stop chasing guys so much. Let them chase us... And maybe than we'll know how much he truly care for us...
The best of luck to you and always
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Dear Ok here goes,
To me it sounds like the root of the problem is that you have no standards. That may sound rough, but I don't mean morally. I mean, if you met a new guy tomorrow, would he meet your standards?
When we don't have standards or boundaries, we allow all sorts of things to happen to us and all sorts of people into our lives. Example - the guy is much older than you, which was different so you went with it. However, do you have an age limitation? Trust me when I tell you that men do. I bet he asked your age didn't he? Men know what they're looking for and they will ask needed questions. Sometime women don't -only to be thrown for a loop at the end.
So my answer to you is create your list of standards first. Make note of everything you want in a man that you are worthy of and stick with it! You will likely find that this guy does not measure up to your standards. Once you realize that, it will be much easier for you to move on, knowing that he is simply a waste of your time.
Take care,
DeeplySetting
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You met in a bar and hooked up immediately. You have the perfect way out. Just don't call him anymore. When he contacts you, be cool, and unavailable. If he asks what is going on just tell him that you had fun but you want to move on, no harm no foul. It was all just fun wasn't it? you were not looking for a serious relationship (at least that is what you tell him), and neither was he, so I doubt he will think more on it. Just don't as any drama into it about feelings.
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