Member Since: March 7, 2010
Answers: 69
Last Update: April 17, 2010
Visitors: 4645
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Okay I'm a little confused,
Say I had sex 7 days ago, I take a pregnancy test resulting from the 7 days ago I had sex..but I had sex AGAIN the day before I took the test would it relapse and effect the results from the first time I had unprotected sex?
Let me try to break this down so it's not confusing..
7 days ago I had unprotected sex with my partner
I took a test, However I also had unprotected sex again the day before I took the pregnancy test. Would the test come out negative or would the results get effected? (link)
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the test is only going to be "effected" if you are pregnant. By having repeated unprotected sex you are just upping the odds of getting pregnant.
Since you took the second test soon after the second encounter, it could show up negative because your body chemistry has not changed sufficiently to indicate pregnancy. Plus, you still could get pregnant from the little guys swimming around down there hitting the mark a couple of days later.
The solution is simple, wait a couple more days and take another test. One test alone is not sufficient evidene anyway. Once you get a positive test, you will want to go to a doctor for a confirmatory examination and test.
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Okay, sooo.. Both parents in my family smoke i've tried talking to them about going outside but since it's "not my house" and since "i'm the child
" I can't control where they smoke.
if I am in my room with the door shut but people are still smoking not to far from me is that considered 2nd hand smoke and can I still be harmed from it? I mean i'm doing my best to avoid it..
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yes and yes. the ductwork in houses is connectde so any smoke in any room can wend its way into any other. Prolonged exposure to sencondhand smoke can be harmful. Whether you will be harmed or not is an uknown, as it is highly individualistic.
The addiction to cigarettes (nicotine) is actually stronger than that of heroin, so it is typical for smokers to be unreasonable.
You could try telling them you do not want them or you to get lung cancer, and that the chance of living long with lung cancer is around 16%.
If they refuse to budge, an air purifier in your room can help the air quality so you are not breathing as much junk in the air.
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Dear male perspective,
I have a steadily increasing crush on a boy in my class. He's adorable to say the least, a genius, and he is friendly enough to me to make me think that I have a chance. The problem is that when I see him I become really hesitant. Sometimes I slur my words or just say completely irrelevant things. Despite all of this I think he is completely oblivious to my feelings. I walk by him every morning when he is with his friends but I get nervous so that I never say hello. During class he'll ask me really meaningless questions that he could either figure out himself or not ask at all. My theory is that he's trying to get closer to me. But this isn't the type of boy that would simply ask for a date. I doubt he's ever had a girlfriend and because I'm a grade level more than him he might think that I would never be interested. But I'm so interested! How can I help him realize this without actually saying it or asking him out on a date? I don't want to come off too strong especially since we don't know eachother very well at all. Thank you :). (link)
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It sounds like both of you are in the same place: interested but a bit shy and cautious, worried about making a mistake or looking foolish.
This is a good thing and totally natural. For one thing it means that both of you care about the other person's feelings, which is a very good thing.
If he has never had a girlfriend, then you can be pretty sure he is clueless as to what to say or do, most boys are at this point, even grown men are.
As to getting nervous, you will, nothing you can do to stop that. but you can recognize it as a good thing, not a scarey thing. all it really means is that you are alive and having an adrenaline rush, smile.
I suggest the best approach is try and approach him in normal, trivival conversation. Say hello when you see him (i know, scarey), i guarantee he will not bite. most likely he will be a bit stuttery himself, so no worries. it sounds like you have some things in common about school, use that as a topic of conversation. what did he think of yesterday's class, assignment, or test? Then let the conversation flow where it will naturally. at some point in the conversation there will be an opportunity for one of you to say "do you want to meet at lunch, or after school or ..., and talk about that?" It is n't a date per se, but it will give you more time alone to talk and get more comfortable. Once that happens, the two fo you will most likely figure out where you want things to lead. I know it sounds corny, but focus on the conversation, not that you are all jittery and worried about making a mistake or sounding stupid. Both of you will at some point, and that can actually bring out a joint laugh that breaks the ice.
godd luck!
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18f.
this is quite embarassing but i'd really like some advice. sooo usually when i go to the bathroom, and you wipe with toilet paper particles will sometimes stay in your vagina, right? or is this just me? haha..
anyways i'm worried when i let a guy finger me or do anything sexual there will be toilet paper bits stuck in there, and oh my goshhh how embarassing would that be! how can i prevent this from not happening? i've heard people use wipes or something .. is this true? but everytime i THINK i'm going to become sexual i have to use these wipes or what?
and if so .. what type of wipe is it. what are they called, where can you get them and if my mom sees me buying these will she automatically think i'm becoming sexual?
anything will be helpful, thaaaanks!:) (link)
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another male perspective: chill out, even if it were to happen, most guys are going to be so enamored of you at that moment that it will not matter one bit.
I wanted to add a caveat to advice about discussing things with your mother. At 18, you have the right to a life of your own, so what you decide to share with your parents is your call. In some situations, a parent is actually a poor source for counseling because they may not be objective or reasonable. Certainly seek the counsel of a trusted adult (doctor, counselor, for example) for anything health related.
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have you ever been hanging out w/someone and they just look so good and you want to say:
i want you so bad right now :)
i feel like saying that to this guy. don't give me the sex lecture or anything. i was just wondering if anyone has said this what the outcome was. would it be stupid of me? would the guy think i was crazy or do you think he would think it was hot?
anything will help! thanks!
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male perspective: are you kidding me?!? the guy is going to think he has died and gone to heaven. That is one of the hottest things you can say to a guy.
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20/F
I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We have two very close friends who have been dating for a while. We go to parties at their house fairly often. When I get drunk, I'm very open, and I have showed my boobs a few times (I know it's bad). The thing is, I do these things because I was raped, and in a weird way it makes me feel like I have control again. It's hard to understand unless you've been through the same thing.
Anyway, my boyfriend was cool with that, but lately my male friend has been asking to see them A LOT. Him and his girlfriend are in a very open relationship, so she doesn't care. Lately, though, he'll walk up without asking in the middle of a room full of people at the party and pull my shirt and bra down. He always pulls me on his lap and says that if I wasn't with my boyfriend, him and his girl would have been all over me and that if me and my boyfriend break up I better come to them first. I know this is all my fault because I laugh when I'm nervous and I have a problem saying no, but it's starting to bother both me and my boyfriend. The last time we were at a party, I was so drunk I could barely walk and I was walking to the couch and he grabbed me, pushed my head down, and acted like he was having sex with me. I would try to talk to him about this, but he's a big guy, very short tempered, and has a house full of guns and weapons. The last time a girl told him she wasn't okay with the way he acts, he got really upset, so I'm really afraid to say anything. The thing is, he knows I was raped, so I don't understand why he acts like this sometimes.
I know it's my fault, you don't have to tell me that, but is there any way I can ask him to stop without him getting mad? He takes everything to heart, and if I said I'm uncomfortable with it, it would be pretty bad. (link)
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a male perspective: i am answering because I am concerned at the amount and intensity of hatred against males in the advice you have been given.
You have described unacceptable behavior with respect to personal boundaries, no question. That is not, however, the point, nor the source of the problem, which is:
When people get drunk, they do stupid things!
You admitted to stupid behavior, you described stupid behavior by your friend, and i would bet that all four of you and others have done stupid things when you are all drunk. So instead of setting the stage for chaos to enter your life:
STOP GETTING DRUNK!
Get some counseling as others have suggested, for rape survivors, alcoholics, whatever you feel you need. If you do not stop this drinking pattern, it is very likely that you will end up in some sort of bad situation that will have permanent and far-reaching consequences. It is like playing with matches in a room filled with dynamite; eventually something is going to go boom! For your own sake, please put the matches away.
Good luck.
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So, in my analysis of whether or not the boy I like may have similar feelings I have done some research on body language. I came across "hands on hips" as a nearly giveaway sign that a guy is interested. So today I was in my class as usual and we play this review game right before tests. So when it was his turn to stand up he stood up and put his hands on his hips. Is this the giveaway sign that I read about? I mean, he wasn't talking to me or anything, he was simply standing up to answer a question. Though technically since he sits next to me he was facing my direction when he did it. Am I reading too much into this? It isn't exactly the only sign I've gotten from him, but I just found it really shocking when I saw him do this. Thanks guys. ;) (link)
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The research on body language is weak at best. The main message you can get from people's body language is whether or not they are comfortable in a situation, but says nothing about the reason.
He could be putting his hands on his hips because his back is sore, or he is about to break out in a riverdance, or a million other reasons.
You want to read body language? Smile at him, look him straight in the eye and say "good morning!" tomorrow. I am betting you will be able to figure out if he is into you or not.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year in total, although we took a long break during the summer and fall of last year. We have been going strong again since the new year 2010. The way we got back together was all him. He told me he couldnt live without me and he changed since we last were together. And he has changed. Because of past relationships he was very closed and at the sign of the very first fight he would call it quits. I'm the longest relationship hes had. I love him, and he loves me, or so he says. For the first two months it was bliss. He was the sweetest most amazing boyfriend in the world. He built up all these expectations in my head. But after that? Nothing.
It's like either he doesnt love me anymore or he forgot how to show it. I dont understand why, but now hes getting to a point of not even being considerate of me. Like last night, one of his friends came from out of town and he told me hed go to dinner with him and his friends. I said okay no prob, and he said hed call to let me know what was up later. I went to sleep eventually and he calls at 4 in the morning saying hed been bar hopping and drinking and if he could crash at my place since his house is much farther. Naturally I didnt want him drinking and driving so i said okay. but i was very uneasy about the whole thing especially since he wanted us to always tell each other what we are doing at all times so we dont worry. He gets mad at me for only telling him hours in advance that I was going out with friends instead of days in advance. Then he does things like that. I told him i didnt like it and he apologized which is fine but I mean its just things like that and the fact that he used to talk to me everyday and send sweet messages and bring flowers and tell me really sweet things, and now its like im on a low maintenance plan, only doing things he thinks he has to for me not to be upset.
I asked him what was wrong and he said he was cautious because he's never been in a relationship like this before and he feels like itl end any minute. I have endured a lot with him and helped him get over his issues and I'm still here, and I assured him I'm not going anywhere, but it doesnt seem to make a difference. He's still inconsiderate and selfish. How can I help him be sweeter without flat out telling him? I tried that and it hasnt worked... I'm not happy like this anymore and I feel like i deserve more effort from him :/ it really makes me feel like he doesnt care about me anymore, although he swears he does...
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a male perspective: you said this was his first long relationship and he was closed off, which signals to be that he is not a great communicator. although "talking things through" is therapeutic in some circumstances and for some people, it also can be very frustrating for him if from his perspective all it entails is a litany of your complaints about his behavior.
Every relationship starts out like a honeymoon, nirvana, etc. Then the real world hits and each person starts noticing the human foibles each has that seems either absent or adorable at first. Modifying your expectations might be in order.
Having said the above, if you are not happy and he is afraid the relationship will end any minute, maybe the two of you need a break for a while. this can reignite the spark so to speak or can also give both of you an idea of what being apart would mean for both of you.
Finally, if he is going out drinking to oblivion on a routine basis, you may have latched onto an alcoholic, which nobody deserves. Even if he does this only occasionally, you will have to decide whether putting up with the outrageous behavior that most drunks exhibit is worth it to you. If he has a true alcohol problem, then you are in for an awful lot of work for little reward.
I may have read way too much into your note, but from a male's perspective, I would say if you are expecting prince charming there are not too many guys that can meet such a fantasy, so you are going to be continually disappointed. If he is emotionally closed off, there is likely a good and deep seated reason for that which you are not going to change. Pointing out behavior that is unacceptable to you is perfectly reasonable. You deserve basic respect. If he continues to display behavior that indicates he is not willing give you basic respect, then the relationship is on rocky footing.
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lately me and myboyfriend have been fighting for like a week. and we have been going out for two years i really dont know if anyone can say anything to much different then what im thinking but im really sick of fighting over everything and i dont know what to do i want to keep it going but how can it just stop for good or is there no way i have no clue anymore im about just exhausted from it all please help me to get my boyfriend and me back to us again. (link)
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absence makes the heart grow fonder...or at least more able to see clearly from a distance.
take a couple of weeks off from each other. odds are you will either see your fight as trivial or a symptom of a big problem. in either case, how you feel after being away from each other will probably tell you whether you want to sustain the relationship or move on.
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can anybody suggest some really hard hangman words? Whenever my friends and I are bored we always play hangman and all my words are too easy LOL! (link)
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onyx
idyllic
avow
awry
myrrh
synergy
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Can a yeast infection delay your period and make it late? (link)
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Information taken from Oregon State University's website:
Each woman's menstrual cycle is unique and can be influenced by a variety of factors. In general, a yeast infection should not cause a delay in your menstrual cycle; however, depending on the medicine you are using to treat it, you may experience a delay in your menstrual cycle. Common occurrences that can cause a delay in your menstrual period are: hormonal imbalances, certain medications, stress and anxiety, pregnancy, etc.
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I have a couple of serious questions and I would like an answer from someone who is educated and is preferably familiar with birth control pills. I've been taking them for about a month to help with my period and I just started my second pack. During first pack, I ended up skipping a couple days because I completely forgot to take them. But other than that, I've been taking them everyday around the same hour. My question is..if I take my pill a couple-few hours earlier or later than the previous day, is it still just as effective? I heard that as long as you take it within 24 hrs, AROUND the same time, it's fine. But is it really necessary to get it within the same exact hour everytime? Also, I'm about to become sexually active. (We'll be using the pill AND a condom, don't worry.) But I'd like to know how long does it take before the pill actually kicks in and starts working effectively. Remember, I missed a couple days on my last pack about a week or two ago, so should I be okay as long as I continue to take them every single day from now till then? Sorry this was so long. Thanks in advance! (link)
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From WebMD: The length of time it takes for the birth control to become completely effective as a sole contraceptive varies depending on the type of pill you use and when you start the packet of pills. You will usually need to use an alternative form of contraception (such as a condom) for at least seven days after starting, but your healthcare provider should be able to tell you exactly when the particular version of the pill you have been prescribed becomes fully effective against pregnancy. It will normally also say on the advice leaflet that comes with your pills.
As to the timing of taking the pill, you need not take it at the same time every day. A few hours in either direction will not make any difference.
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Hi there,
You know the story... I need more time to file my 1040 tax return. How do I get more time to file my taxes? I am SO confused!
Can anyone help?
Thank you! (link)
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You can get a six-month extension if you have a good reason, see the forms at:
http://www.irs.gov/formspubs/article/0,,id=98155,00.html
The penalties for filing late are not that severe really, especially if you are late just a short amount of time. they will tend to add up if you let it go. See the details at:
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq/0,,id=199556,00.html
The main thing is to file, then at worst you will just be out a few extra bucks. If you do not file, that is when the stuff can hit the fan....good luck!
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sorry if this is too long!! basically to start with, i have broken up with my boyfriend jayson (he broke up with me) basically we have known eachother prety much a year or so now, we have always been attracted to eachother like we kissed & stuff but he always said he werent ready for a relationship. hes been hurt a lot in the past, been cheated on etc so i said i understand.
we never dated, but we were more than friends if ya get me...we were forever falling out and making up again a week later. he ALWAYS had mood swings..one min he was nice the next he werent. he smoked marijuana a lot and still does. all of his friends say he confuses them! any way we stopped speaking for 2/3 months, i tried to get over him but just couldnt. any way he saw me out one day and he was like im really sorry for how i treated you etc i still like you a lot. so we started talking again...and a few weeks later we started dating. he said seeing me made him realise how much he liked and missed me. everything seemed to be going great to me, he didnt have any mood swings with me at all we both got along really well. he still had mood swings with his friends, though. he fell out with them a few times while we were dating.
so we were dating for nearly 3 months,(his longest relationship, for some reason he said he always messes up) and he started to act weird towards me, didnt speak as much etc. so i asked him what was wrong and he said he was just really confused. i asked how he felt about me and he said i like you a lot but i just dont know what i want anymore. i gave him a week to think and gave him the opportunity to break up with me and he said he wanted more time to think. then he said that he thought i liked another guy (he always said i liked someone else even before we were dating) he always said i was too good for him which is why i think he thought i liked someone else. any way i asked him to make his mind up soon because it was playing with my emotions. a few days later he said he really likes me but he thinks we should break up because he doesnt feel like it is going anywhere and he blames himself for that because he has been confused and messed up in the head lately, and he said he knows it will take time to get over me and it will be hard.
i pretty much love this guy, i could never get over him even when we stopped speaking so its going to be harder now. my questions are:
- because he smokes marijuana a lot do you think this is why he is confused about the way he feels? messed up in the head? etc
- people keep saying we will get back together because we always used to fall out, i dont agree with this but how can i get over him?
- do you think he genuinely liked me and its marijuana messing him up? he told me himself he can never stick to a relationship for some reason he always messes it up
thanks!! sorry for it being so long!! (link)
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Your description of him paints a picture of someone with low self-esteem and some serious life issues that need work. It will be hard for him to commit to anyone long term if he is not comfortable in his own skin.
You might refer to this sort of relationship as a "fixer upper". It might turn out well in the ned but will take an enormous amount of energy and work. The question for you is, whether this relationship is worth the effort. As Uniq pointed out, there are lots of other guys out there. Everyone has their own eccentricities, but the things you describe can be truly destructive to a relationship.
The call is yours of course. One way to determine if the marijuana is a problem would be to ask him if he would consider quitting to work on your relationship. If his answer is anything other than an immediate "yes i can do that", this is a red flag that you will be in for a rough ride if you choose to continue with this relationship.
Life is too short to waste it on a hopeless situation. Good luck!
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Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, recently we've been having a few difficulties, just fighting non stop. Last week I took her to lunch to say I'm sorry, but things aren't working out, a few days after we broke up, I came home and caught my mother and my ex girlfriend making out in the lounge room. What should I do? (link)
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Take pictures?
nonono...
Seriously, this is such a betrayal on both of their parts that I would suggest cutting them out of your life and moving on. They clearly do not have any consideration for you.
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Are there sites with, whole books on them?
Like you can look up a book and read it online?
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Project Gutenberg has over 30,000 free books you can read online or download to a number of devices at www.gutenberg.org.
University of Pennsylvania also has a website with over 35,000 free books and links to other similar sites at:
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/
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When you've loved someone and have waited for them for seven years straight(continue to)--would this be considered as love or lust? (link)
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(with tongue planted firmly in cheek)...
if you are waiting for 7 years for someone:
to come home from the war, it is love.
to get with the band's drummer, it is lust.
at the terminal, that train has left the station.
to get out of their marriage, that is desparation.
to leave the porn industry, ewww, ick.
to get out of jail, it is dangerous.
who went out for a pack of smokes, they are not coming back.
and calling/texting them every day, that is obsession.
and spying on them, that is stalking.
to come out of a coma, that is dedication.
to get sober, that is naive.
who is plotting with the mice to overthrow the world, that is crazy.
to find themselves, they do not want to find you.
from whom you have been kept apart by the whims of fate, that is a romance novel.
who is being held captive by darth vader, that is delusional.
who is finishing a graduate degree, that is a heartbreak waiting to happen.
who is going through a sex change, that is going to require "his/hers" or "hers/his" towels.
to recover from the bullet wound you inflicted, that is incredibly optimistic.
whose spouse you buried in the backyard, that is a fatal attraction.
because you were in prison on charges of domestic violence, that is unrealistic.
because they moved and did not leave you a forwarding address, that is missing the point.
and finally.....
if you have been waiting for 7 years, and the feelings you have are mutual, honorable, reasonable, and practical, then it may well be love. I hope for your sake that this is the case. Good luck!
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if you saw your husband sending messages to other girls lets say thru facebook or myspace etch and he wrote "hey bby let me get your aim or msn,your a cutie" while being with you would you get mad?? but without him knowin you check his thing . (link)
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a male perspective: the fact that you are "checking his thing" tells me that you already suspect or already have serious problems with your relationship in terms of trust, so being mad at what he does on facebook is somewhat moot. I suggest you deal with the larger issue that this symptom represents.
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I got my financial aid package from Tufts today.
They're offering me about 37.5k for next year (out of an estimated 52k).
Problem is, that leaves about 15k for me to pay by myself.
I can't afford this and I dont' want to be knee-deep in loans by the time I get my Bachelors degree.
My question: is there any way of getting MORE financial aid or am I stuck with this? (link)
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Congratulations, that is a wonderful financial aid package! There are a lot of other scholarships available that can be found on the internet at fastweb.com that you might search through. A lot of these require essays, but it is one option.
There is a lot of flexibility on paying back student loans these days, with terms that are much more reasonable than on other loans.
The other option of course is to find a summer job to save some cash and contact the student jobs office at tufts to find what options there might be to make some money while you are at school.
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I am a 16 year old girl who's constantly surrounded by rumors and gossip. At first when it all started, two years ago, I was completely confident and able to handle ALL of it. Until a few weeks ago my best friend's ex boyfriend made up rumors that we slept together because he asked me out and I refused to go out with him.
Now at my all girls school, everyone looks at me strangely and talk to me less. Sometimes when I walk through the school I hear them talking about me. Although my best friends, who I've known since we we're babies are still hang out with me, but they still don't believe me.
And all my friends outside of school continuously ridicule me. I literally can't even walk my dog around the neighborhood without someone calling the word s***.
I am SURROUNDED by it and I've practically lost all my friends. I really don't know what to do, NO ONE believes me. I've been through things like this before but it hasn't gotten to such an extreme point where I can't even be seen in public. And I don't know what to do with my friends, I have tried EVERYTHING. Talking to them, proving to them and I don't know what to do and please don't tell me, 'Well if they don't believe you there obviously not your friend'. Besides apart from them I REALLY have no one. (link)
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Sorry to hear about your very difficult but all too frequent situation. One could hope that with time this will cool down, but this is a form of bullying and just ignoring it is no guarantee that it will go away. You asked for concrete suggestions so here goes:
1) actively engage in a smear campaign against the rumor-spreading boy and ask your girlfriends to help. the fact that you are willing to fight back and take action may just be the "proof" that your friends need. The smear basis is obvious, let everyone know that you did not want to go out with him because your friend told you he was a lousy lover and had a small penis. This is nasty, but you asked for concrete sugggestions...a twisit on this is to confront the rumor spreader and threaten him with this smear campaign unless he corrects the misinformation he has spread. If he is anything other than a total jerk, he will comply.
2) find a trusted adult to confide in and ask for their help. they might be able to take the boy "aside" and get him to recant the story. Note i said "trusted adult", not necessarily a parent or school official. In theory those would be optimal choices but not all parents or school counsellors are necessarily good at handling these things.
3) there is also the direct approach. a small lawn sign that says "XXX is a liar and has a small penis" will not only vindicate you, but make a great story that he will not live down.
I must emphasize that I am responding strictly by your rules of suggesting some concrete actions you might consider instead of just taking the high road and letting it blow over. The ultiamte choice of your approach is of course, in your hands.
Please be aware that this is an all too common occurrence. It hurts like heck, I know. Hang in there, secure in the knowledge that you are a good person.
Now go get 'em, smile.
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