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I hate puberty
I am a 16 year old girl who's constantly surrounded by rumors and gossip. At first when it all started, two years ago, I was completely confident and able to handle ALL of it. Until a few weeks ago my best friend's ex boyfriend made up rumors that we slept together because he asked me out and I refused to go out with him.
Now at my all girls school, everyone looks at me strangely and talk to me less. Sometimes when I walk through the school I hear them talking about me. Although my best friends, who I've known since we we're babies are still hang out with me, but they still don't believe me.
And all my friends outside of school continuously ridicule me. I literally can't even walk my dog around the neighborhood without someone calling the word s***.
I am SURROUNDED by it and I've practically lost all my friends. I really don't know what to do, NO ONE believes me. I've been through things like this before but it hasn't gotten to such an extreme point where I can't even be seen in public. And I don't know what to do with my friends, I have tried EVERYTHING. Talking to them, proving to them and I don't know what to do and please don't tell me, 'Well if they don't believe you there obviously not your friend'. Besides apart from them I REALLY have no one.
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This boy is selfish, mean and isn't going anywhere. Seriously. when he grows up a bit and looks back he's gona regret it. And once everyone see's that you weren't lying, he will have a hard time finding another girlfriend !
I don't think your a slut(was that the s*** word?)
even if you did sleep with him. (I know you didn't)
It's not really a slut-situation, more of a bad friend thing to do.
these people obviously have nothing better to do than to chat about others.
talk to your friends one by one, explaining that your really hurt that anyone would think such a thing of you
Tell them you would never ever do that and that rumours are a horrible thing.
If you hear someone talk about you, keep your head high and walk on. If your more of an assertive, straight-to-it person you could go over and directly ask why they are speaking about you and tell them to SHUSH
don;t start fights though
Inbox me if you wanna talk xxoxox alice xoxoxo
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Just a little warning, any comment on his penis with yield the question "how would you know?" Saying you didn't want to go out with him because of such might also have the problem of people thinking that all you care about. A smear campaign IS a good idea, but you have to be careful with what you use. Maybe say you were hanging out with him, and all the sudden he peed his pants and ran off?
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Sorry to hear about your very difficult but all too frequent situation. One could hope that with time this will cool down, but this is a form of bullying and just ignoring it is no guarantee that it will go away. You asked for concrete suggestions so here goes:
1) actively engage in a smear campaign against the rumor-spreading boy and ask your girlfriends to help. the fact that you are willing to fight back and take action may just be the "proof" that your friends need. The smear basis is obvious, let everyone know that you did not want to go out with him because your friend told you he was a lousy lover and had a small penis. This is nasty, but you asked for concrete sugggestions...a twisit on this is to confront the rumor spreader and threaten him with this smear campaign unless he corrects the misinformation he has spread. If he is anything other than a total jerk, he will comply.
2) find a trusted adult to confide in and ask for their help. they might be able to take the boy "aside" and get him to recant the story. Note i said "trusted adult", not necessarily a parent or school official. In theory those would be optimal choices but not all parents or school counsellors are necessarily good at handling these things.
3) there is also the direct approach. a small lawn sign that says "XXX is a liar and has a small penis" will not only vindicate you, but make a great story that he will not live down.
I must emphasize that I am responding strictly by your rules of suggesting some concrete actions you might consider instead of just taking the high road and letting it blow over. The ultiamte choice of your approach is of course, in your hands.
Please be aware that this is an all too common occurrence. It hurts like heck, I know. Hang in there, secure in the knowledge that you are a good person.
Now go get 'em, smile.
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