I think I have an obsession
I stare at her picture all the time (though recently I've been able to control this a bit)
I think about her all the time 24/7. Though when I do some activities I enjoy, they leave my mind for a while, but then come back again.
I have fantasies about her
I keep thinking she don't like me or think I'm weird, which pains me so much.
If I was still in school, I would probably go out of my way just to see them or get a glimpse of them.
I feel so envious of their boyfriend. I keep wishing I was them. And, as wrong as this sounds, I wish her boyfriend would die. If that sounds sick and wrong I agree. I'm ashamed.
Does anyone have any helpful tips in curing myself of this? If you actually think I WANT to feel this way, you are dead wrong.
I'd agree that your crush has turned into a bit of an obsession. You haven't said, but I'm guessing you don't talk to her that often. Or that when you do talk to her, it's just a brief thing. You probably don't really know a lot about her, other than what anyone would know from going to school with her.
I think obsessions like this occur when people find someone to be attractive and nice. I don't think an obsession like this would occur if you did know her extremely well or hung out with her often.
The reason I think the obsession occurs is because the person hasn't been around their obsession enough to recognise flaws in the obsession. If you're not around her often, don't hang out with her outside of school, don't know her deep feelings, and aren't around her on an everyday basis; you don't really know who she is on the inside.
You've probably spoken to her some and seen her some and thought she was good-looking and maybe very friendly or sweet. You, in turn, put her on a pedestal of excellence because you don't know her enough to see that she is flawed.
You have fantasies about her, and in these fantasies, she is probably your dream girl. She is probably everything that you could possibly want in a girl because your mind is making up these fantasies.
The issue is that you're probably not making a clear distinction between who she is in real life and who she is in your mind. You might be blending the person she actually is and your own personal dream girl.
In order to get rid of this obsession, you need to find out who she actually is. She is not perfect because no one is perfect. She is extremely likely not your idea of perfection. If you got to know who her and talked to her or hung out with her, you would see her flaws.
The issue is, she has a boyfriend. Because she has a boyfriend, she probably does not like you like that. You said that you worry that she doesn't like you; you need to realise that she probably you're probably right. She probably doesn't like you in the way that you like her. That is understandable since she has been with her boyfriend and not you. That doesn't mean he should die or that you should try to interfere with their relationship to somehow 'prove' that you're the best guy for her.
You need to keep yourself occupied. If you're sitting around thinking about her all the time; you've got too much time on your hands. You need to pick up some hobbies and hang out with friends more often. Try meeting other girls and seeing the positive things in them.
If the opportunity does come up where you can get to know your crush better, go for it. But do not cling onto the hope that maybe possibly her and her boyfriend might break up. It's a waste of time, really.
If you knew her and were around her often, you'd see how human she really is and you would be able to take her off of that perfection pedestal you've subconsciously put her on.
I don't mean to sound harsh; but your best bet is to try to forget about her. Don't allow yourself to sit around fantasising about how perfect she is or about being with her. The more time you spend doing that, the more you fall into the obsession.
Like I said, keep yourself busy, meet new people and hang out with friends. If you can talk to her some, try to really get to know her and don't allow yourself to be blind to her flaws just because you have a crush on her.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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15/f
ive been cutting myself for about two years. its not constant, in fact i stopped for about seix months, but lately ive kindof picked up where i left off and ive been cutting every few days now. i really really want to stop, but everytime i look it up online, i see things like "take a warm bath, go for a run, blahblahblah." and i really dont think that taking a bath or running is going to help me to stop cutting. i need ways on how to stop.
also, is there like an on-line couseling type of thing? where i could talk to a psychologist? i really dont want to tell my parents because they would be so dissappointed in me and wouldnt understand. but i just want someone professional to talk to. besides, i dont know if i could afford seeing a therapist.
please help me to stop cutting.
I really don't think there are legitimate professional psychologists that you can speak to online for free. I really don't think your parents would be as disappointed as you think. They'd be a lot more disappointed in you for not getting yourself help. You have to do what you have to do in order to stop cutting. If you need to seek therapy, that's what you need to do, no matter how your parents feel about it. As far as price goes, I'm sure your parents have insurance on you since you're 15 and living in their house. When I went to therapy, it was only $20 since I had insurance. It's definitely worth the twenty bucks if you think it will stop you from hurting yourself.
I started cutting myself when I was eleven, and I stopped when I was sixteen. For me, therapy isn't what helped. I just eventually realised that cutting was not helping me at all. I felt good for a minute afterwards, but then I felt stupid for doing it. It was just a long, addictive cycle.
People online are talking about doing something that preoccupies your mind so you can push away those urges. That doesn't mean necessarily taking a bath or running down the street. It could be anything that is of interest to you. Something creative is always good; reading, writing, drawing, painting, playing an instrument, sewing, or whatever else you enjoy to do. You could also pick up some after school sports or group activities that would occupy more of your time.
The bottomline is you're going to have to decide that you don't deserve what you're doing to your body. You're going to have to make a decision that what you're doing right now isn't working. It's not making you any happier. You're going to have to find the things that fit your personality that will help you get through it. Whether it's sports, arts, or wearing a rubberband around your wrist to flick yourself with when you get the urge. You have to find something that works for you because every person is an individual. It's your choice to stop, not anyone else's.
If you need to seek therapy for it, do that. You have to be strong, even if the people around you don't understand. This isn't about your family or friends; it's about you and the method that you're using to cope with stress and problems in your life.
The reality is, when you cut, the problems are still there. You might feel better for a few minutes, but those bad feelings always come back, don't they? Until you find healthy coping methods and get to the root of your problems, you're not going to get better.
And trust me, it sucks when you're older and have to take responsibility for having so many scars on your body. I mean, they're in an extremely obvious area. Try going for a job interview and shaking your potential employer's hand. It's not a good situation.
It's great that you want to quit. You are recognising that you have a problem, and you're wanting to work to fix that problem. It's not like you can't quit. You've quit for six months before, then just fallen back into the same old routine. If you go to therapy, they'll teach you different ways to cope when you start feeling that urge to cut. They'll also help you face the real problems that are making you want to do it in the first place. Take the risk of your parents getting disappointed. Talk to them about it. You'll be surprised at how understanding they will eventually be about it. If they don't understand at first, have your therapist talk to them about it. He/She will word it in a way that will make them understand the psychology behind it so they won't feel anger or disappointment in you.
Good luck
inbox me if you need more help,
Darby(:
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What do you prefer:
homemade cinnamon scones, or homemade chocolate chip scones?
and does anybody have a good chocolate chip scone recipe?
thanks :-P
I personally like cinnamon scones better than chocolate chip. But chocolate chip scones are good as well.
Here are a few recipes I found online for chocolate chip scones:
http://www.joyofbaking.com/SconesChocChip.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_2101702_yummy-chocolate-chip-scones-breakfast.html
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/English-Royalty-Chocolate-Chip-Scones/Detail.aspx
-Darby(:
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17/f. -ok my best friend and I
Were getting mcdonalds and she
Saw her cousin and her cousin was like oh how are we all going to the water park can your friend come and there was a short pause and she was like oh do you want to come? And she
Never mentioned this to me and she does have another best friend and she started making other excuses how she wasn't going to go anyway. I just feel insecure and I know she doesn't have to take me but I don't know what do you think? Oh and she has ditched me in the past..
I think you should just ask her straight up if she wants you to go or not. When she asks why you're asking that, mention the reasons you're feeling insecure up above. Tell her to be honest with you and that you won't take it personally if she wants it to just be her and her cousin (that's the only way you'll get the truth out of her)
It's hard to tell if you're just paranoid or not. If she's ditched you in the past, it seems like she might be pushing you away a little. But the only way you'll know for sure is if you're up front and direct about it.
good luck,
Darby(:
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16/f
well to start off, its takin me a while to build up trust with my mom again. shes caught me with drugs and drinkin in the past, and now im finally on her good side. the only thing recently is that she found out me and my boyfriend are havin sex.
now heres the problem, i have to tell her im pregnant. my mom means the world to me and im scared to break her heart, plus she could fuck over my boyfriend because we arent legal. shes the kind of person that you need to let her think before you talk to her about somethin, so i was thinkin i would slip a note in her purse tonight for her to read tomorrow and then ill talk to her after work. orrr, id wait for school to start and send her a text.
what do you guys think would be a good way for someone like my mom, whos very fragile and needs to think about things for a while before you discuss them with her ?
thanks !
I mean, if you really think that's how you mother is, the note or text might be a good option. But with something so serious, it seems like it would be a lot better to handle it straightforward-like.
I feel like if I was a mother and my daughter got pregnant, I would much rather her say something like, "Mom, I need to talk to you about something. I really don't want to hurt you, and I'm sorry, but I took a test yesterday, and I'm pregnant."
She'll find out either way, of course. But it seems like you could handle it better if you talked in person about it. I mean, it's a very serious situation. It's not like you got suspended from school for a few days and you don't know how to tell her, so you leave her a note.
But, hey, I'm not a mother and I'm not your mother. So if you really think that's how she would like to find out, I would do the text thing. The note in the purse would be okay, except for the fact that it might get pushed further down or she might leave in a rush and not see it all day.
Then she could randomly find it at any time and if you happen to be home at that time, she's not going to have much time to think about it. So if you do think that she'd rather find out at work, send her a text once you're at school.
It just seems strange to me that she'd rather find out through a text in the middle of work, then in the comfort of her home face-to-face with you. But, you would know, I suppose.
good luck,
Darby(:
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Okay so my hamster is def. pregnant.
Can someone tell me everything i should know about baby hamsters?
Please and thanks.
:)
I don't personally know anything about baby hamsters, other than you're not supposed to touch them.
But here are a few good sites that you should definitely check out:
http://www.myhammie.com/baby-hamsters.php
http://www.ehow.com/how_4575058_care-baby-hamsters.html
http://exoticpets.about.com/od/hamsters/f/hamsterbabies.htm
Good luck,
Darby(:
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This guy Jason the guy Im currently sleeping with but we're not together. Well anyways when we first started having sex it was honestly boring and just kiss sex done. But lately he's been really mean to me in bed and idk I kinda like it. Its weird though I never let guys talk shit to me the things he says to me in bed are a total turn on but if he said them to me when we were just hanging out id probably slap him. I honestly love him being in so much control in bed and being mean but am I losing his respect outside of the bedroom just because of what I let him do and say when we're in the bedroom?
Only you know the answer to that question. Does he treat you differently now that you've started doing that? Does he treat you with less respect when you're just hanging out now? If he doesn't, he probably still respects you the same amount and understands that that's just a sexual thing.
If I were you, I'd just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't start treating you differently now. If he does start saying rude things to you or you feel like he's losing respect, explain the situation to him. Let him know that that's just a sexual thing and that he's not welcome to say or think those things about you outside of the bedroom.
Darby(:
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okay well im new to this sex stuff so anyways im too young rite ive been talking to this guy for a least 3 months but never was official rite and i didnt want it to be offical cus i dont know but anyways he is a tooottaaallyyy bitchh pig asshole etc. he showed me that he really cared for me and i really started to like him. but i just knew the only thing he wanted was sex so we messed around and stuufff like me giving him a hand job and him fingering me but never gave it up to him hell nah. i felt so pressured and disgusted towards myself and i never told anyone about it. so just one lil thing i did was that i told somegirl about me messing around with him so he goes crazy on me he's like "omg why did you do that she already knows all the girls i messed around with now shes ganna go spread it out to her family\" cus he gets along with her family. but i asked that girl if she told anyone n shes like nahh you know i would never tell no one about his stuff i wouldnt do that. i guess he got paranoid.i felt so stupid cus i kept apolizing and he didnt want to have it and i kept kissing ass to him n now he doesnt want nothing to do with me. and i knew from the moment i thought that he was using me i shouldve just let go i guess i really cared for the guy and i felt like if i didnt do what he wanted he would lose interest and he did and im just torn im so stupid.and plus he's the type of guy that doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone just mess around with girls. i heard he messed with 3 other girls when we were messing around. i txt him nothing called nothing ahh idk im so sick of guyss there pigs and they just want to use you for one thing only i just wanna break down and cry so thats why i feel like a true fuck up cus i am one i never learn i get attatch and affectionate towards them n every time it comes out wrong idk i wanna runaway jk but ahhhh im just depressedd n i hope i aint wasting your time hit me up on your opinion :\'(
Well, there could be a couple reasons as to why he panicked so much when he found out that you told one of his friends. Because he's friends with her family, his family might be friends with her family, too. He might have been scared that she would tell her family and they would tell his family. A different reason would be age difference. I'm not sure, but I'm assuming you're a minor. If he's 18 or over, he might have freaked out that you told his friend because he knows that it's illegal for him to mess around with you and that he could get in trouble for it. The only other thing I can think of is that he was messing around with other girls at the same time and he was afraid that those other girls would find out about you if you were telling people about hooking up with him (even if you just told one person).
Just take it as a learning experience. It does suck, but when you're getting those red flags that the guy is just in it to hook up, it's time to head for this hills. When you continue a relationship knowing that, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt. Don't beat yourself up over it too much. Just learn from it and don't let yourself make the same mistake again.
The guy is obviously a jerk for just wanting that and for ignoring you now, but you're really better off just getting over him. Go hang out with your girl friends and keep yourself entertained. Don't let yourself call or text him any more. Take what respect you have left, and run with it before he can take it all away.
Not all guys are like this, and it's not good that you think that at a young age. It sounds like you're just messing around with jerks. There are really sincere, genuine guys that don't act like that at all. Just search for them and watch your back in the future with guys. It doesn't mean that you have to approach every guy like he's the last guy you dated. Every guy is different and unique. Give them a chance. Just don't hang out with guys that seem like they're only in it for the hook up.
Warning signs of that are guys that only talk about hooking up or want to hook up too early in a friendship. If they get angry at you when you don't want to hook up right away or don't want to date exclusively you. That means they're wanting to hook up with other people and not be faithful to you. If they want to hook up with other people while they're hooking up with you, it's likely that all you are is another girl to them.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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i've done research and i know its legal for me to work as long as i have a permit. but i can't find any places in apple valley, ca that will hire a fourteen yearold with no prior experience.
Honestly, I can't think of anywhere. You have to be 18 at Walmart, I believe. You have to be 15 and a half for fast food places even.
You could volunteer at a hospital and it would give you some experience to put on applications next year so you'd be more likely to get a job faster.
You could try getting hired to clean people's houses or something. But that would be on a more personal level. You're not going to find applications to fill out for jobs like that.
You can't work at any sit-down restaurants, no retail places, and no business places right now either.
You could try fast food because it might be different in your area; but I really doubt it.
Darby
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so there was this party the other night. my girlfriend went with her friends but i couldnt because i was working. there were kids from other schools there too. well the way i heard it was that this one dude was messing with my girl all night. flirting with her and stuff and that about halfway into the party he grabbed her ass. she slapped his hand away and i guess he flipped out. he pushed her over and kicked her. i want to kill him. shes got this huge nasty bruise and she scraped up her arm and hand when he pushed her onto the pavement. i dont think ive ever been this furious. i feel guilty too that if i had been there to protect her, it wouldnt have happened. i know who he is because ive played him in football, and i want to kick his ass. it would upset my girlfriend who told me that i shoudl just leave it alone. but at this point i would rather kill this kid and have her be pissed at me then just sit around and let him get away with it. im thinking about just doing it and not telling her. he should have the balls to not go crying to anyone about it right> might not be a good idea though... what do you guys think?
Not a good idea to fight him. It seems like he would have the balls to not go crying to mommy and daddy or the cops. But this type of guy is the exact type that would call the cops and get you arrested for it. Then your girlfriend will be mad at you, probably your parents, and you'll be in juvy with some hefty finds and a criminal record on your back.
But you shouldn't just lay down and take it either. There's nothing wrong with getting a friendly message across to him that he's extremely damn lucky that you weren't at the party and that your girlfriend is filing charges against him. (even if she's not)
It will scare the piss out of him that he might get sexual harassment and battery charges against him. He will likely not do anything like that for a while.
Your girlfriend may not want to tell her parents about it because she was at a party and they might not have known about it; but I think she should. It would be worth it to get a restraining order against him and get some money out of him. Plus, he'd get a criminal record if he got convicted of it.
If your girlfriend has proof and witnesses, she should go to her parents, then the cops. She should say that it happened whatever night, but she was too afraid to go to the cops right away because she was so shaken up and just wanted to get straight home or that she was afraid her parents would find out she was at a party and be angry with her.
It's always better to use the law against people; it hits them a lot harder in the long-run than a few punches.
Darby(:
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I have spent so long knowing people talk shit about me behind my back both because of my different personality and my physical appearance. I just want the physical appearance thing to stop ... I can't handle it sometimes ... why are people so cruel? It's not like I am really fat at all, but I'm a big guy ... I just hate how cruel the world can be when even close friends talk shit behind your back about shallow things like the way you look ... why?
Honestly, people love bringing others down to make themselves feel better. It sounds cliché, but it's really the way people are. When they point out flaws in other people, they feel better about their own flaws. It's just gossipy boredom of high school.
If your friends are saying things like that, you really need to find better friends. It's not like you're asking a lot by wanting them not to make fun of you behind your back. They probably don't really mean any harm by it; but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt your feelings. You should try talking to them about it, one-on-one. Don't do it when they're together in a group. Say, "Hey, (insert friend's name) I heard you said (insert what friend said). I don't know why you would talk about me behind my back like that, but if I hear about you doing it again, I'm done being your friend'
Short, sweet, and to the point. State what you heard, tell them you're not cool with it, tell them what you're going to do if it happens again.
Then, stick to your guns. Your friend will probably apologise or say that he didn't do it. If he apologises, just accept the apology and tell him to not talk about you behind your back again. If he says he didn't do it, tell him who told you that he said that, and that you're not going to deal with high school drama, so he better get things straightened out with whoever is saying that.
-Darby(:
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Alright I'm 14/F and the guy is 16/M. Pretty much, when he asked, I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him, and he stopped talking to me. I really liked him. He told me he could see himself dating me and that he cared about me. Well he obviously doesn't care that much if he would just drop me like that because I wasn't going to let him do me. Like what the hell? Who does he think he is? I'm not a toy he can just fool around with (we had made out) and then drop when he found out he couldn't get in my pants. I want to get back at him SO bad but I don't know what to do. Help?
I agree with the answers below me. It's best to just take the high road. Who says that it means he won? He didn't get what he wanted, so he really loses.
It would be nice to scheme some elaborate plan that could make him see that he can't treat you like that; but he probably already knows that since he didn't get in your pants and you guys don't even talk any more.
He does sound like quite the jerk, but it's not really worth starting a huge feud over. Just take it as a learning experience and watch for guys that display the same warning signs (wanting to hook up early, only talking about hooking up, etc..) that this guy displayed.
-Darby(:
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okay so my sitiuation is complicated and completely my fault, but im stuck and need advice on how to get out of it.
ok so theres these two guys jason and matt and they are both so incredibly amazing, and thats the problem.
Jason Is a guy I can completely see myself being with and being happy. We have our relationship times and our times when we can just be freinds and have no care in the world. He's the one I cant stop thinking about no matter what Im doing or who Im with.
Matt on the other hand is somewhat of a very big player, but when I see him he always brings me to this place I never knew existed. I could sit and kiss him for the rest of my life. He makes me feel like the prettiest most amazing girl in the world. He tells me the sweetest things and he sings to me. But with matt if we're not all over eachother we're nothing, we are unabled to be "just freinds".
So My problem is Im falling in love with two guys and did I mention they're best freinds? So its not so easy on them either when one of them see's me with there best freind. At first it was jason I wa always with and I never thought of matt like that and now that I've formed relationships with both of them I just cant break myself away from either of them. I dont know what to do they make it impossible for me to breath because they are always asking me which one I like better and the truth is I have no clue. can someone give me some advice that might actually help me? sorry it was so long
From what you've said, Jason is probably the better choice. He can be a best friend and a boyfriend, and that's what a good, solid relationship needs. Not to mention the fact that you were with him first. If you chose Matt over him at this point, you would likely ruin your relationship with Jason and Matt's friendship with Jason.
The fact that Matt is a big player isn't great either. That means he could mess things up with his running around. You don't want to date a guy that plays the field like that. You're just setting yourself up to get hurt. It sounds like the relationship with Matt is a sexual one for the most part. It's nice that he sings to you and makes you feel good; but who knows who else he's doing that for?
The bottomline is, Jason has proven his feelings and devotion to you by standing by and being a good friend, even after you started hooking up with his best friend. That fact alone simply amazes me. He must really like you. If a guy I was with started hooking up with my best friend, I might very well punch him in the face. It shows that Jason still cares about you, even when you're not doing the best of things.
In the end, it's your choice. And if you can't choose between them, you just might have to choose neither and move on. What you need to do is make a list and really weigh out the pros and cons of each person. You've already said that you can really see yourself being with Jason. It seems like your mind is made up, but you're crushing on Matt and it's confusing you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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okay there's this guy I've been "good freinds" with for a while now and he keeps bugging me to have sex with him. I really do want to but he makes me nervous! It has always been easy for me to sleep with guys and feel good about myself but this guy intimidates me so much. we always get so close but I get nervous that my body isnt pretty enough for him and he wont like me anymore. I guess its cause all his ex girlfreinds that I've seen have been drop dead gorgeous and Im not quite there. What can I do to make my self feel more comfortable around him where I can have sex with him?
If you don't feel comfortable with him, don't push yourself to. Those things come naturally and there's nothing you can do to force it. If you were ready to have sex with him, you wouldn't be so nervous about your body. You obviously think he's going to judge you, but if he cared about, he wouldn't do that. Just hang out with him longer until you start actually feeling comfortable around him. You could also try sharing how you feel with him. If you don't feel like you can do that, that's another sign that you're not ready to have sex with him. You should be able to talk to him about things like that, so if you can't, just give it more time.
-Darby(:
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I have to babysit my little brother whos 10 what else can he do but sit around all day.
board games
movies
tv
card games
coloring/drawing
hide and seek/tag
swimming
going for a walk
let him invite a friend over and keep an eye on them, they'll keep each other entertained
good luck,
darby(:
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Everyone seems to have a problem with age I dont see why its just the some person being born a different time. What do you think?
It all depends on the individuals and their maturity level. Sometimes people with an age difference work out well because they're at the same level of maturity. Other times, it doesn't work out well because the people are at different positions in their lives.
When you're a teenager, age is quite the big deal because even if it's a 3 or 4 year age difference, that makes the difference between being in junior high or high school or college. People change so much mentally in their teen years, and are doing different things physically. Someone that is 18 might be graduating high school, going off to college, and working. While someone who is 15 is not even able to drive or work yet in most cases.
It makes relationships difficult because each person has their own agendas that they need to follow, and when they're that different, it's hard to fully relate. Usually 18 year olds are into different things than 14 or 15 year olds are into. And they should be because you shouldn't act like you're 14 when you're 18.
Not to mention the part where it's illegal for someone 18 or over to do anything sexual with a minor.
-Darby
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Okay, so I really liked this guy. And I totally thought he liked me too. He definitely lead me on. But when my friend asked him if he had any interest in me he simply replied "She's not really what I'm looking for right now." Okay, so I know that's the nice way of putting it. But obviously he meant something else. You can be harsh, that's okay. If you were a guy and you said this, do you really mean it? Or is there another meaning to the words.
I think he probably means that you're not his type. Either your interests aren't compatible or he's just looking for something else, like he said. I doubt there's any deep, twisted meaning behind this. There could be tons of reasons why you're not what he's looking for. I don't know the details of it, so it's hard to know for sure. But examples would be your age, hobbies, looks, personality, ect.. He probably meant what he said though, so it's time to move on to better things (:
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so my friend and her boyfriend were making out and like dry humping and he ended up jizzing in his pants and he she had no underpants on and so lows. she said her pants were wet and his boner was liek in her and she peed liek 15 minutes later. is it possible she could be pregnant? i told her to take an ovulation test.
It sounds unlikely to me.
If there was no skin-to-skin contact, it's very doubtful.
-Darby
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I'm seventeen years old and I'm looking for a job. The only problem is, my hair is dyed dark/bright blue. So not many places will hire me, besides like Hot Topic. But I don't really want to work there, so does anyone know of any places that will hire freaks? Haha.
I can't really think of any other than Hot Topic or a record shop maybe. You should probably dye your hair a natural colour. I look fairly normal and have applied at over 50 jobs and not even gotten a callback, so good luck trying to get a job with hair that colour, haha.
Darby(:
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This is a big deal. I have known this girl since we were five, and she was really drunk at a party. I helped her around and took her to the bathroom and stuff when she needed to puke, but I never did anything with/to her. My former friends were telling me I should, but she was waaaay too gone. I didn't. The next morning, they told her I took her clothes off and put my junk in her hand(for lack of a better way to say it, sorry). I got drunk the night before, but the most I did was thrust my pelvis near her. I had clothes on though, it wasn't a big deal. It was a joke. Now, she doesn't trust me and won't talk to me. Her friends, who were my really good friends, also won't talk to me. I told her I didn't do anything, but she doesn't really believe me. What do I do? What can I do?
You need to see if the people who told her that will clear things up. Even if they're your former friends, they might see the seriousness in the situation and let her know they were lying about that.
If they won't do it or she doesn't believe them, there's two things you can do. You can either try to explain to her again and see if she'll listen, or you can contact the police and file a report against her for false rape claims. Which is a huge offense since that can completely wreck your life.
It seems extreme to do that, but if you think she's going to falsely accuse you of raping her to her parents or the police, it's best to be a step ahead of her. If there were people at the party that you were around the whole time that can back you up on it, they can talk to the cops if it comes to that and defend you.
It would be good if it didn't have to get to that point though, so try to remind her that you have known her since you were five and that you'd never do something like that to her or anyone else.
As a result of all of this, I'd head for the hills no matter what the result. Even if she realises that you didn't do it, she's a crap friend. I mean, a really crap friend. I would never, ever accuse any of my guy friends of that. Even if someone told me that a guy friend did that, I'd believe my friend over my friend's ex-friends. They have a reason to lie about you since they're not your friends anymore.
Anyone who gets that drunk, is stupid first in the first place. She must be quite the brainless slag to get so drunk at a party that she doesn't know if up from down. Gullible, stupid, naive people like that can get you in a lot of trouble. Once this clears up, I'd declare that friendship nearly demolished.
Good luck,
Darby
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