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Has my crush turned into an obsession?
I think I have an obsession
I stare at her picture all the time (though recently I've been able to control this a bit)
I think about her all the time 24/7. Though when I do some activities I enjoy, they leave my mind for a while, but then come back again.
I have fantasies about her
I keep thinking she don't like me or think I'm weird, which pains me so much.
If I was still in school, I would probably go out of my way just to see them or get a glimpse of them.
I feel so envious of their boyfriend. I keep wishing I was them. And, as wrong as this sounds, I wish her boyfriend would die. If that sounds sick and wrong I agree. I'm ashamed.
Does anyone have any helpful tips in curing myself of this? If you actually think I WANT to feel this way, you are dead wrong.
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I'd agree that your crush has turned into a bit of an obsession. You haven't said, but I'm guessing you don't talk to her that often. Or that when you do talk to her, it's just a brief thing. You probably don't really know a lot about her, other than what anyone would know from going to school with her.
I think obsessions like this occur when people find someone to be attractive and nice. I don't think an obsession like this would occur if you did know her extremely well or hung out with her often.
The reason I think the obsession occurs is because the person hasn't been around their obsession enough to recognise flaws in the obsession. If you're not around her often, don't hang out with her outside of school, don't know her deep feelings, and aren't around her on an everyday basis; you don't really know who she is on the inside.
You've probably spoken to her some and seen her some and thought she was good-looking and maybe very friendly or sweet. You, in turn, put her on a pedestal of excellence because you don't know her enough to see that she is flawed.
You have fantasies about her, and in these fantasies, she is probably your dream girl. She is probably everything that you could possibly want in a girl because your mind is making up these fantasies.
The issue is that you're probably not making a clear distinction between who she is in real life and who she is in your mind. You might be blending the person she actually is and your own personal dream girl.
In order to get rid of this obsession, you need to find out who she actually is. She is not perfect because no one is perfect. She is extremely likely not your idea of perfection. If you got to know who her and talked to her or hung out with her, you would see her flaws.
The issue is, she has a boyfriend. Because she has a boyfriend, she probably does not like you like that. You said that you worry that she doesn't like you; you need to realise that she probably you're probably right. She probably doesn't like you in the way that you like her. That is understandable since she has been with her boyfriend and not you. That doesn't mean he should die or that you should try to interfere with their relationship to somehow 'prove' that you're the best guy for her.
You need to keep yourself occupied. If you're sitting around thinking about her all the time; you've got too much time on your hands. You need to pick up some hobbies and hang out with friends more often. Try meeting other girls and seeing the positive things in them.
If the opportunity does come up where you can get to know your crush better, go for it. But do not cling onto the hope that maybe possibly her and her boyfriend might break up. It's a waste of time, really.
If you knew her and were around her often, you'd see how human she really is and you would be able to take her off of that perfection pedestal you've subconsciously put her on.
I don't mean to sound harsh; but your best bet is to try to forget about her. Don't allow yourself to sit around fantasising about how perfect she is or about being with her. The more time you spend doing that, the more you fall into the obsession.
Like I said, keep yourself busy, meet new people and hang out with friends. If you can talk to her some, try to really get to know her and don't allow yourself to be blind to her flaws just because you have a crush on her.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Ok so basically doing things you enjoy takes your mind off her.
Keep doing those.
Think to yourself, the more you obsess, the more she will feel afraid to meet you.
Even though that might not be the case.
If you havn't met her before read on:
Smile at her and make an effort to say hi but not too often. See how many times you can just say hi without going to far. If she says hi back, then increase it by slightly waving and if she does that, then smile more and wave more and then etc etc u get the idea.
If you have met her before read on:
Don't be the first to say hi, if she makes some sort of attempt to make communication - let her know she can do by doing it back
I hope this helps if not I'm sorry, lol.
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