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advice
please help me..........
you know how in highschool how you form "groups" that you hangout with party with do things with...... see it's always been so hard for me to find the right one. i'm very preppy but at the same time wild.
i'm on the soccer team and the girls and guys practice together and hangout together and so we end up becoming friends whether we like it or not. it's a very stuck up group. everyone talks about everyone. basically everyone's insecure but covers it up by teasing and shit. i'm the most wild one in the group. i'm crazy and on trips i always do random things and have fun. some people think it's hillarious but most started to constanlty tease me saying i'm so retarted and annoying. i come off like the crazy girl that doesn't care what people think but deep down i do. it bothered me. so i stopped being wild. but that didn't really work. even when i was serious they (mostly the guys) repeatedly said crap about me behind my back...........because i was "the girl" to talk about. anytime i mess up....... like run out of gass in my car, forget to turn in a paper, show up late, they're like wtf she's so dumb. my bestfriend (who's been my bestfriend for years) happens to be the most popular girl on the team. she sticks up for me but it doesn't really do that much to stop them. all i wanted was to be around people that respected me. so i stopped hanging out with them and quit soccer for a couple months. i tried mingling with other groups. it was hard because everyone already has "their people" they hang out with and has their inside jokes and parties to go to. i didn't have fun with any of them. but i tried and tried. i missed my bestfriend and the girls i hung out with in soccer (bc the guys were the ones that mainly were the jerks to me) so i was just like fuck it im going back to my soccer click and i don't care what the guys say. but when i show up at the parties now they're always like ugg why is she here and they try to ditch me and my bestfriend said it's hard always sticking up for you! and i really need a job. and theirs a job opening that pays 10 dollars an hour at the soccer club. my bestfriend works there so it would be fun..........but so do all the guys :(
i don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!
i feel so sad :(
I hate that their are "groups"
in highschool, for me, I have my one special group of best friends, then I have just friends that I dont know me tooo well but I dont know them that well either.
But thats so horrilble about your soccer team, and how you had to quit. You need to try talking to some of the guys , or just one, about how it really makes you feel. If they arent mature enough to understand that they are hurting you really badly, then they truely are jerks, it could be because they have a crush osn your or something? But and talk to your best friend, it shouldnt be hard for her to stand up for you, because I mean your her best friend. I think you should rejoin soccer, try to not gossip when they do, bite your tongue for a little bit, and see how thing worko ut, things scould get better, and they could learn from you.
If you need anyone to talk to,
you can IM me @ kaylehmae on aim,
but atlesat give me the link to your question,
since i get a lot of IMs from adviceantors.
okay well.. when i get a boyyfriend.. or someone i like and things are either good or end up being bad.. i always as them stupid little questions.. and i ususally always like try and base my life on like a movie and i think about what will happen and what i want to happen so it ussually never does.. and its weird and i dont like it.. how can i stop? im 13 and a female
Well your 13,
and every girl around that age and even when they are grown up sometimes, have a fantasty of how they want their first boyfriend to be like.
Wouldnt it be so great if real life love relationships could be like "The notebook" or "A walk to remember" minus the dying, and cancer.
But yeah, you just need to remember that life isnt like a movie, people dont act the same, things arent written down, its not like a screenplay, its live, its now, its life. You know? just remind yourself too that if you act like a movie in a relationship, boys wont like it.
well im overly jealous, like words couldnt explain. and i want to stop it. My boyfriend has tons of girls that are friends, and he talks to them and stuff, and i just dont want to be jealous any ideas on how to make that feeling go away? Because i know guys dont like it when they know a girl is a jealous person.
Oh jealousy, it sometimes feel so involuntary doesnt it? Like wait,I cant help but be jealous.
What works the best is to tell yourself, wait, why am I being jealous of them? I've already got the guy. He loves me, not them& we share a special relationship. And also trust is another big thing, if you trust him, dont worry about him being friends with other girls :)
I wouldnt say that I'm frightened of death, but I am very frightened by the process of dying, particularly thru illness. As with most people, I have unfortunately known people in my life to have developed cancer or something similar, and died from it.The thought that this can happen terrifies me, and I cant understand why no one else seems to feel the same way. Can anyone tell me; generally, do you know if you have a cancer early enough for it to be treated? Is it common for a cancer to develop inside you and for you to have no idea until it's too late? Thank you, I rate fives.
Well, I dont worry about it, because in my opinion, worrying makes your life shorter.
The best you can do is go to your routinely checkups and be checked out for everything, like cancer or if you feel any lumps anywhere.
There really isnt a lot to worry about unless cancer has been in your family line, and its hereditery, like your grandma had it your mother, her sister, something like that, that increases the risk of you getting it, but if not I really woudlnt worry about it. It all depends on the type of cancer, some starts showing, and yes some develops inside of you and is unseen for a while, but as long as you go to your checkups and what not, I think you're pretty good.
:]
Is the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-N1 Digital Camera a good camera? If you have it I need your opinions on how good it is. The price in the stores is now $449 so I'm wondering if it's worth the money. Does this camera take good pictures indoors because I take alot of pictures inside??? If you don't have this camera & wanr to help you heres the website that tells about it. http://www.circuitcity.com/ssm/Sony-Cyber-shot-DSC-N1-Digital-Camera/sem/rpsm/oid/138969/rpem/ccd/productDetail.do
My friend has that kind of camera.
It works pretty good indside and out she says.
1)okay so this girl first asks for my email add then my phone number,then one day i waved at her in school and she was absolutely shy and looked down the whole time.Now we are talking on msn.so does she like me?or is she just naturally shy and wants to be just friends?
2)But what i don't get about girls is that you know how some girls are outgoing and super friendly?So she may talk to you a lot and like you or maybe just talk to you cause she is just being friendly to you as she is to the other guys.So is their a way to know?I mean,if a girl talks to a guy a lot,does that mean that she's interested in him?cause it doesn't really make any sense for a girl to talk a lot to a guy since girls mostly mix with girls and vice versa, plus girls mostly talk about girls stuff which guys know nothing of,unless he's gay.
1)Most people are shy in person, but online they arent. Well if she asked for that stuff from you it sounds like a crush, yes it sounds like she likes you.
2)I'm sorry but the second question, girls are girls, you'll never understand them, just like boys. Girls are usually nice to any guy they like, but if they really like them, they will try to get more information about them. ex; number,emails,single? Yeah. Just because girls talk to guys a lot, or have more guy friends then girls, doesnt mean the guy is gay. We dont only talk about "girl stuff" they could just be friends, dont freak out about it.
So if a girl talks to a guy alot and they arent daying that doesnt mean she likes him like that, they coudl just be friends, think about it that way.
And remember girls dont constantly talk about hair and make up, we do talk about A LOT more than just that, with just girls.
I have a friend she does nothing but drag me down and talk about my other friends. How do I tell her I don't won't to be her friend anymore?
Finally let it all out,
be like.. Okay it was great being your friend and all but I really cannot stand the way you talk about my friends around me, it hurts my feelings and its not right.
And I cant be your friend anymore because I cant tolerate this.
hey im gonna start 8th grade in august, and i still havent gotten my period. is this normal??
Yes its normal, everyone's bodies are different, so dont worry about it.
Also when you first get it, its not going to be regular for a while.
If you really want to know maybe when you'll get your period, ask your mom when she got hers, because usually thats when you will get it too.
ok so I am 13 but I want to learn and get started on being a cosmetolisgist are there any websites that can teach me how to cut peoples hair properly without having to buy a book and stuff?
Well your 13, your about in 7th going into 8th grade right?
The best thing to do is google some hair cutting websites, or cosmotology websites, and find some books too, but I woudlnt start cutting anyone elses hair but your own, until you have a professional degree, once you've graduated college. :]
Good luck!
ok so I got my period about 1 and half years ago in february 15,2005 but that was the only time. it nvr came back once a month and stuff it nvr came back...is this normal?
Yes your period wont be regular for a while, when you first start getting it, its going to feel pretty random. Before it starts a cycle.
my mother has a big mouth and i can't deal with it anymore. she's always talking crazy. like, she says she is going to leave from this house and that nobody is ever going to see not even her hair anymore and she says that she's very sick and is going to end up in the hospital, when she knows she isn't and she should be cherishing her health. but, today she got out of control with her stupid big mouth! i was getting this little cheerleading outfit for a football game and she said that if i wore that i was nothing more than a retard and that all i look like is a self-concious monkey. other than that, she thinks she's a teenager and she truly and honestly tries to do everything in a teenager's perspective. well, today, when she told me that i was a retard, i started crying because i'm tired of her offending me. she's told me that 100 times. i told her i hated her and that she's changed, and i went away crying. when i was leaving the house to go to my aunt's house across the street, i apologized to her for having told her i hated her. i don't hate her, but i hate how she calls me names. as i was leaving my grandmother told me to apologize to her for having told her that SHE CHANGED! wow. so i told her but i told my grandmother that she should also be sorry for having called me names and my own grandmother said she shouldn't be sorry. she is always offending me with her big mouth, and right now when i told her she shouldn't have called me that she told me "do you want me to call you that again?" so that's it! i can't deal with her anymore. she's not the same sweet lady that use to take care of me and smile at me when i was a baby. that's when she was going through a divorce because my father left our family for an alchoholic stripper at a bar. so, then if anything was when she should have been hysterical. not now. and that has affected me too so i'm not being selfish. everyone acts like it didn't happen to me, but how do you think i feel? it hurts me too, you know. so, if my mom is constantly on myspace thinking she's a teenager, how does she expect me to respect her when all i see her as is a little sister because that's what she's acting like. why is everyone taking her side and saying that she has the right to call me names? it's not fair! no one cares about anything and the way that i feel! my heart is going super fast and i can't live like this anymore. i have to stop this fighting now. i was hoping that if any of you could, if you could tell me a way that i could apologize or make her stop. a way to make her stop calling me names and not caring. i want it to catch up to her. i want it to haunt her in her sleep fall the insults that she's said. how can i do this? and how can i still make her think i'm not a bad daughter, because of right now i don't think she every wants to speak with me again
15/f
signed,
anxiously waiting
Oh my
Dear Anxiously Waiting,
I feel for you so bad, I'm seroius,
my heart goes out for you, because I've never been in a situation that complicated.
I mean it sounds like your mom wants to be young again? But your mom has NO right at all to call you names, let a lone retard, Thats a horrible name to call anyone, its mocking mentally ill people and I dont think its appropriate. Dont apologize to your mom, becuase you didnt do anything, its her who has the obvious issue. I mean and your grandma, I cannot beleive she said that either.
I highly HIGHLY suggest you go talk to a counsular about this, I mean you cant grow up like this. Think about your future :(
Dear, If you need anyont to talk to feel free for IMing me at any of my address on my advice column.
But you really need to get your mom some help, I mean shes not a teenager and she needs to take care of you, not be like you, I mean your fifteen, you need a mentor and an adult, but one whos being good, so you can look up to her.
I feel so bad, I hope things get better.
Let me know how things go. Your in my prayers.
ok, so my BFF eversince kindergarden is VERY popular at her public school.But then in 5th grade i went to a different school and we never really saw eachother but we did keep in touch. I went to a privae school, but now i'm going to her school. I wasent very hugely popular at my other school, buut i had connenctions. So next year is my JR. Year. And i really love my BFF. butt we were hanging out yesterday, aand she was telling me who i have to be, like for ex. "You have to wear a jersy for homecomming"
I mean i am friends with them, but how do i tell her that i am who i am with out her getting the wrong image that i'm not like her. Because were are almost identical in EVERY way.
Popularity is stupid.
It means nothing,
I mean those kind of people arent going to get anywhere, if they keep bossing people around and acting like they are better.
Its very un-unique to do what EVERY one else is doing, I mean, if shes your friend, she should understand when you tell her that you like the way you dress, and if she asks you why or brings up what people would think, politely say it doesnt matter to you that much.
You know?
13/f
okay well for a long time now (about 4-5 months) i have been telling my parents and my grandmother that i need like a counselor or something i used to have one before and my mom made me stop going because she didnt like the idea that someone was telling her she was wrong for some things. so what do i do if my parents wont help me and my grandmother wont either?
-thanks-
Well if you need help, you need to go try to get it yourself. And something your mom needs to work on, is that her way isnt the only way. It sounds to me this is a verry very difficult situation you know? But explain to your mom that there are things in life your not going to agree with, and people arent going to like everything you say or she says. But remind her how much you need this, and how you'll feel better if you can get it.
I really want braces because I need them. My parents say I'm not mature enough though. I dont see how I'm not. I mean, they trust me for hours at a time by myself everyday. They even leave me responsible for my nephews when they come over. Plus, I'm 15 turning 16 in like a few days. And they make plenty if money for me to get them. We own like a 110,000 dollar house. Sometimes they claim that all our money is being spent on that but that's a bunch of bull. If my dad wasn't an alcoholic and spent all the money on booze. How do I handel this situation?
You need to sit down with your parents
and tell them what you think.
Because your going to be sixteen, most kids have braces on before that age.
And tell them if you get them on any later your going to have to have braces on for your senior pictures, and no one wants that.
If talking to them doesnt help,
talk to a counsular or close family member other than your mom or dad about this situation.
Because it sounds like your parents are just making excuses. And there has to be a reason behind it.
15
Well me and my friends were having dinner the other night. Her mom called because she was going to pick us up. When her mom asked if there were guys there (there was) she said no. But her brother came in to get us and he saw them and then told her mom. Her mom didn't care there were guys there she just cared that my friend lied. So now my friend has lost her parents trust by lying and she really wants to get it back.
Are there any ways you guys would suggest getting her parents trust back? Or if anyones been in this same type of situation maybe? Thanks.
Well its easy to lose trust but hard to gain it back. I mean I was just thinking about this, I had this best friend, and I thought she was amazing because she never lied to me and she was always honest. But once she left a lie on my answering machine and I knew it was a lie. So immediantly I was so hurt. And it was her fault, not mine at all. But thats not the point, the point is, getting trust back is hard work. You need to work at the relationship, and if she gets put in situations where she could lie, the easiest way out is to just tell the truth and not lie.
Okay I'm 15/m and I recently meet a guy 18/m. We're both gay. I wanna ask him out but I'm not sure if he's to old for me. He also thinks that sex isnt a big deal so I'm afriad if we get together he might fuck people behind my back. He doesn't think sex is somethign couples should worry about, so I think thats the kind of thing he'll do. Help?!
I think he is abit too old for you.
I know age is but a number,
but thats more when your like 20 and your boyfriend is 25, its fine then.
But usually when your still in highschool it doesnt work as well.
Because your right, he could be doing stuff like that, since he is older than you and more mature I suppose.
I would ask him out if you wanted to, and see where it takes you?
I'm a writer on quizilla.com, and I was wondering how I could boost how many people read my stories. I know some of you haven't been to quizilla before, but it's a site where you can take or create quizzes for other people to take or you can read or write series on there. Also, would it be against the rules if I asked people on here to read my stories? It'd be much appreciated. :]
I think a good writer writes about love and things that actually happen in real life.
Like when you fall in love, how it actually feels, and not sounding too made up.
Or about things that can actually happened, a lot of people like to read about things that they can relate to.
I'm not sure if its against the rules,
but in your feedback to me give me the linkt oyour stories I would like to read them!
Good luck!
im 15/f. i've been best friends with this girl since i was in second grade. we're both sophmores. from second grade to seventh grade, we were like the best of friends. but, in eighth grade, she decided that quantity was more important to her than quality! so, now I feel like having 100 friends is more important to her. and it makes me feel really sad because she's like a sister to me. now it's like she has a new best friend. on top of that, she's been acting like a pain in the rear. she thinks she's so popular and so this and so that. she's just acting like a totally strange person and i feel like i don't even know her anymore. she's goes on vacation the whole summer because most of her family lives in europe. so, when she comes back, i just want things to be the way they use to be. i don't want to hang out with this big group of "friends" that she's fabricated. i want it to be the way it use to be and that whenever we went to the movies and stuff like that the group was just me and her with a whole bunch of guys. it was so much fun. what can i do to make her be that person again?
You need to realize that people change.
And sometimes we dont like it, but people do change, and thats life.
If you are sick of her acting the way she does, dont be friends with her anymore, because shes changing to a person she wants to be, and even if you think its a completely bad choice, its not anything you can help, its none of your buisness, even if shes your best friend, you stlil need to rememeber you have no control over her and what she decides to do with herself.
And also I may sense a little jealously here? That shes hanging out with other people, maybe she wants to meet new people, meeting new people is always great. Shes probably just sick of doing the same thing over and over again.
But the question is, you can talk to her, but if she doesnt get it, just leave her alone I guess.
And you go enjoy yourself at the movies with the boys.
OKay. so im 5'3 and im about 115 pounds. is this a good weight to be for my height? i know i have lots of muscle and stuff but i still feel like im always bigger than my friends. or i feel im fat becuz i have all that lower tummy fat and it makes me look bigger from the front. i am not sure what to do. and i eat healthy and everything and im very athletic. but the fat never comes off! im so self conscious! please help!! :/ thanks a bunch!
Yes it is a good weight.
Dont compare yourself to other people! I know thats hard, and we all do it, but its best if we dont. Because everyones bodies are so much different, are bone sizes are different, we are who we are. Try jogging, running, sit ups, crunches, just exercising and eating healthy!
And try to love your body! And remember that no ones perfect! So its nothing to strive for :]
Good luck with everything :]
Sometimes my mom will say hurtful things to me and not even realize it.
"How can you possible have that many texts, you don't have more then 3 friends!"
(Keep in mind, this was after I just lost my boyfriend, best friend, and almost all of my friends so I was very upset from losing them)
"I would buy bigger jeans, you're getting fatter"
Even though I'm a size 1.
I've talked to her about this numerous times, but she just doesn't understand. What should I do?
Thats so mean!
The way to nip these situations in the bud,
it to sit down with your mother,
and have those examples written down.
And when you start tell tell her start your sentences out like ..
"I feel, really upset when you [insert insult here] to me, because it really hurts my feelings.. etc"
Always say how you feel (i feel) or the other person will get defensive even more, and make th econversation harder.
I'm sorry your mother says this stuff to you,
thats horrible. And cruel, I hope everything gets sorted out and that she will start to understand that shes hurting you badly.
If you need anyone to talk to, IM me at one of the IMs on my advice column.