about

First off that's my special man friend with me way back from high school, and been dating now for almost four years now. Yeah he's pretty spectacular, and I love him to pieces, and that's all I have to say about that. I'm a full time college student and working on my gen ed, but I would like to get my bachelor's in gerontology and eventually get my nursing license. In fact I work at a nursing home now as a CNA and I love it so much. Anyways ask questions if you want. I'll try to help you out anyway I can. I love helping people after all. :)

advice

well let's see i'm 14 years old and not to be conceited but i'm not ugly or fat, just really tall. i'm 59. mostly taller then EVERYONE, even most male adults. well anyways ive never been kissed once, or had one boyfriend. it sucks because my girl friends are like having sex and i've never even kissed a guy =[ ; i don't know what to do!? like honestly no guy has interest in me, well guys do if they see my myspace and flirt with me and blah but are unaware of my height and thats why i never end up hangingout with them becuase i will be taller and it'll be akward. well i don't really know what i need advice on. just i don't know, someone help? =[

I didn't even get my first kiss until I was 15. It's not that big of a deal. You have your whole life ahead of you and that should be the last thing your worried about. And you really shouldn't meet guys off the internet anyway. And as for your friends, there really young to be having sex anyway. I'm eighteen now, and still am a virgin. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. There's more people out there then you think who are in the same shoes as you. Honestly you sound like a beautiful person. Confidence does not sound like a problem for you. I'm sure if you really wanted to you could get a guy... not necessarily the type of guy you want. One that would use you and only care about one thing. Trust me, given time you will find the man of your dreams. Oh and guys usually do like tall girls. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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i had cybersex with a girl recently but i found no pleasure in it. It didn't arouse me and i didn't enjoy. word is out and now people think i'm bisexual. could this be true? im not attracted to girls in that way but im just asking could i be lying to myself?

Even if you were that's your own personal business and no one else has the right to judge you. However I doubt your actually bi. A lot of teenagers look at porn or experiment in some way. It's sort of the same ways that guys watch porn with a girl and a guy. It's not that big of a deal. Your just trying to find who you are in the world. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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i'm so sick of being invincible by my parents...
I get straight A's....right? and still yet i gain as much stress and shit from my parents as if i'm recieving straight F's. I asked my mom if my boyrfriend could come over tom. and she said yes and i'm sick so i decided to take a nap but before i headed towards my nap i made sure with my mom that it was okay... and she said of course!

then i get up a few hours later and she makes me fold the clothes it takes me an hour and then i asked her for some dinner and she said alright i'll give you some soup. So i sat at the computer and just checkd email and facebook and she started yelling at me at how i didn't study at all and such. i figured that it was going to take my mom like 6 mins to give me my soup but i didn't know she had to make it from scratch so THATS why i decided it won't kill to check my email.But honestly here me out.... I've finished a WHOLE 817 page SAT book within vacation.... and yet she still says that i don't study. and now she's saying how my boyfriend can't come over now and honestly truthfully my heart it does hurt physically and emotionally i don't know what to say or what to do... My parents just say i'm talking back when all i'm trying to do is state a point.

Yes I have the same problem with my parents. Just let them have there time to chill which everyone needs. I'm sure they'll come around. No one is perfect, just remember that. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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okay there's this guy that i liked since last year May he was in my english class. Before i started liking this guy, i would notice that he would stare at me all the time in class..then i eventually started liking him and i told him on msn that i liked him. He didn't believe me at first then i asked him: do you think i'm joking? then he said: i dunno, but i don't want to waste your time b/c i have a g/f. So i said ok, but i noticed that even after he told me that, he would still stare at me and sometimes look away. i asked around and they said that they don't think he has a g.f. so tonight i was talking to an old friend of mine and it turns out that my friend knows the guy i like so i told him that i wanted him to be my prom date and i asked him not to tell him b/c he told me hehad a girlfriend...so my friend said: wth? he doesn't have a girlfriend...so he lied to me! what does this mean?

Yeah it deffinetly sounds like he likes you. Maybe it's not a good idea to ask him on MSN all the time. Actually talk to him in person or at least on the phone. He is probably really self concious and doesn't know how to act around girls. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I, too, find it annoying how everyone is obsessing over Twilight. Then I read it. So don't hate on me, I can't help it. I'm surprised no one else has asked this. But all of a sudden, I've basically given up on dating. I don't want ANYONE but Edward Cullen. What to doooo? Don't tell me he's just a fictional character :/ Give me hope :/

Wow... There needs to be a Twilight Savings time seriously, for all the people who wasted their time and money to go see that stupid movie so we can make there lives somewhat worthy... That movie is just another stupid cult movie and seriously? I don't think vampires are supposed to be nice. It's so unrealistic. Sorry but that's my honsest opinion

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sorry in advance if this is to much info haha its so weird writing this but whatever, i really need to know..
so im 16/f and my bf says he wants me to lick his ass haha i know that sounds really weird but yeah. What i wanna know is like how to do it right. Like i guess id be on my knees giving him a bj and then i'd want to go from that to his ass but like you cant really lick a guys as from a front can you? so i guess im asking how to switch from a bj to a rim job... and i looked up positions to do this online and what i found was either on a bed (which wouldnt work it would be either in or outside of a car) or like with him bent over and that wouldnt work either cuz bending over would make him feel like the bitch haha. and also jw how do you give a really good rimjob? and is it like gross? haha thanks lol sorry this is so weird

I didn't even know there was such thing...
Hmm...

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I have this boyfriend and he is AMAZING. He can cheer me up instantly and he's just so...perfect! The thing is, he says the sweetest things ever but I can never think of anything to say back except "aw how sweet!". I feel like he deserves more than that, but when he says those things, it just kindof stuns my brain and I can't think straight... I think he thinks I don't like him as much as he likes me, but I really do! Please help? :)

Tell him how happy he makes you. Tell him he makes you feel special in a way no one has ever made you feel. But either way I'm sure he knows you like him. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I know i have been sending a lot of questions related to this, but right now this is really bothering me and im sorry for bringing it up again.
also i apologize for how long this is going to be

to sum things up, about a month ago i was at my friend's house and her brother who happens to be a freshman was there along with his friend, who i met for the first time that night. we all slept in the basement and watched movies, it was a lot of fun. a week later i realized he liked me, and i liked him too. it was good until he told me he didnt want to go out with me because of basketball, and i did not ask to go out with him so i wasnt sure as to why he said that to me. anyways, tuesday night i told him i was going to my friends house [his friends sister, the house from last time] and i told him he should come but he said he couldnt, he said to go saturday instead because he was going to go saturday. i said okay and was really excited because i thought maybe he liked me again. thursday night he was IMing me and was asking if it would be okay if he made a move on me on saturday and i said yeah. then he asked what i would ler him do and asked if i was prude and i said no im not. he basically was plannning on using me, i know this because first of all he mentioned earlier that he had mixed feelings for me and another girl, the other girl lives at least an hour away..so im not sure how that would work out, but it isnt my buisness. so after he kept asking hor far i would go i asked him your not planning on using me are you.. [obviously a stupud question because he would not say yes, but i wanted him to know i was aware of what he was trying to do..and i dont want to get hurt] he said no im not like that. ill probobly just talk to you, but not a lot because me and [his friend, my friends brother] are going to be hanging out. and i said, we can all hang out togethor.. and then he wrote, yeah i guess. well i gotta go bye
he left me really confused at that point. he also asked my friend on friday night if i liked him and she said she wasnt sure if i did or not, he said he didnt know either and that he would find out saturday night. my friend asked if he had anything planned and he said haha nah. maybe...
well, last night i got to my friends house and he was there with my friends brother. he didnt really talk to me for a long time..it took a while. i was really excited because i thought maybe me and him would do something, because he was almost begging me two days before. well, he stole my phone and ran upstairs with it. i followed him and he ran into the bathroom and tried locking the door. i opened the door and took my phone and was laughing and started walking away. then i started realizing..this was his plan on how to do stuff with me. as soon as i walked away i felt really stupid. and to this minute i wish that i didnt walk away. i wish i stayed with him. because that was my only chance. and i blew it. without even knowing until i walked away...it makes me really sad. anyways, once again, im sorry for the length of this..i just have a lot things to say about it, and i dont know how to express it. well, i was sitting on a couch with my friend in the basment and he came over and put his pillow on my legs and said this is how its gonna work. and then he put his head on his pillow and then his feet on my friend. i wasnt sure if that was a sign or not..i didnt know..then after 5 minutes he just got up and sat at the other couch. i was kind of offended..but whatever. then later my friend and i stole his phone and changed the language to spanish. it was really funny, then he kept asking me to change it back and i said no because i thought it was funny, he did too though. then, he came over, sat between me and my friend, and sat basically, on my foot and right next to me, almost on top of me. that would of been a perfect position for him to kiss me. but his friend was there along with my friend..so i didnt think he wanted to..i really liked it though. but then he got up and sat on the other couch again. i got sad after that again. i thought it was weird how he kept on toying with my emotions like that. and not to mention, he stole my phone 4 times and it was really funny, and i liked it, because i would try and get it from him and grab it but he was so fast. then he would finally give it to me..but then he wouldnt talk to me for a while. it really started confusing me. i did not like it. it also bothered me that he was being very rude about the things me and my friend wanted to do. we went out rented knocked up, fight club, and saw 3. i thought it was going to be fun, but then we asked who wanted to watch knocked up and he goes, that movie, ive seen it so many times ugh. i dont really want to watch it. and i guess that was whatever..then this morning, my friend and i were warching fight club. i sat on the couch that he sat on the whole night, number 1 because i didnt have my contacts in and it was hard to see the screen. number 2, i wanted him to sit next to me. so he came downstaits with his friend, looked around, and sat in a different chair, a single chair. i got offended by that. what makes him think he can just come and snuggle next to me for 5 mnutes but then when i set myself up for it, he just doesnt want to even sit near me. why?! what did i do to make him not like me anymore?/ nobody knows. he also announced that he was texting that other girl he likes, jenna. shes weird anyway..i saw this video of her she recorded..it was weird. and what upset me the most is that he had me right where i THOUGHT he wanted me, and he didnt even take advantage of that, nor did he care. i sort of think he decided he likes the other girl better than me..which also upset me. why wasnt i go enough..im just really hurt and what a letdown he was. making me think he wanted to do all of this stuff with me, and then showing up and barely even talking me. not to mention toying with me and realizing he was in control. it rerally, really hurt me. when i was walking out of my friends house this morning, i saw him and his friend playing basketball. i turned and looked at them, he looked at me for a second but then went back to basketball, he didnt even say bye to me. that hurt. i would really love to know what it was that i did..to make him just not even want to talk to me or even be my friend. im so sorry that this was extremely long

You did absolutely nothing wrong. Guys can be idiots a lot of the time and not realize a good thing right in front of them. I say you should move on and find something better because you deserve to be treated way better. And not to be rude but what kind of excuse is "Oh I'm in basketball." That's not a good enough excuse. I wouldn't text him or have anything to do with him for a while. If he gets upset and asks why you won't talk to him tell him your tired of his crap and that if he's lucky in a few months or so you'll consider being friends with him. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two months now, and he's a really nice guy, and he is very thoughtful and emotional. I just don't think there's much of a connection between us. I've had a few other boyfriends before, and whenever I am with him, I don't feel the way I think I should...I don't feel attracted to him, I guess is what I'm saying. But I feel guilty dumping him because he is an amazing boyfriend. He buys the best presents and says the sweetest things to me. So, I'm wondering, is it worth it to dump him and hope someone that makes me feel the way I think I should comes along? Or should I just be happy with what I have?

If you don't feel something for him already and it's two months, you probably won't. I mean you can't really help it if you don't like someone. No one will blame you if you break up with him. Especially if it's a resonable reason. And by the way, I'm not really sure how old you are but you have your whole life to worry about guys. Just remember, if you do decide to dump him do it politely. Don't do it over the phone because who knows? You may want to stay friends with him. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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My period's late by like, a month.
Is there a way to make it come faster?
Because I'm getting really annoyed waiting around.

If you take the birth control pill it will regulate your period. If your on any sort of drugs or your just stressed or pregnant, that will make your period come late. Well... if your pregnant, it won't come at all... Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I love to text dirty things to my boyfriend and I also love to recieve those amazing heart dropping turn-on texts. The only problem is is that he isn't all that satisfying. How should I help him out?

Buy him a full keyboard phone with a camera (for those pictures) (make sure it has zoom) and a dictionary,and maybe a thesaurus. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie

Or... Text him what you want him to text you back Say, "text this back to me."

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What is the best thing that I can say to turn my man on? We love being naughty. 15/F

Depends on the age of the man... If he's older, like 30 ask him if he likes your young body. And if he's your age, ask him if he likes your young body. And if he's younger, tell him that you like his young body. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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how do i get my moms trust back fast? !!

im 15 female.
i jus got in a lot of trouble for skipping school.
how do i get my moms trust back!?!

I would just do some extra chores around the house. I've gotten in trouble for the same type of thing loads of times. Don't bother her right now because that will just piss her off even more. Just give it a little time. At the most she'll probably be mad for a week. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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How do you start a band?

It depends on what kind of band you'll want. Bands like Cream with Eric Clapton were only a trio with a gutarist, drummer, and bass player. They have a really powerful sound too. But then again The White Stripes are really good to with just a drummer and a guitarist. Just talk to people you know play an instrument and ask them if they want to hang out and jam. Then maybe a band will just form on it's own. You also could put flyers up at your school looking for band members. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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what are some things i should know before you have sex for your first time? I'm like DEATHLY afaid of getting pregnant, and i know use protection, but still i dont wanna get pregnant. And im not on the pill and i doubt my parents will buy it for me. idk even know if im ready for sex, like ive always wanted to do it, but idk if am, if i dont know if i am ready for it, maybe i shouldnt do it?
15/f

No offense but if your having any doubts about it, it's probably not a good idea. Your definitely not ready. It's not that big of a deal. I'm 18 years old and I'm still a virgin, however if pregnancy is the only issue you could go to the nearest Planned Parenthood by you and they'll give you birth control for a small amount of money. Make sure and use a condom even if the guy says it feels better without one. That's a load of crap, and if he doesn't respect you enough to at least wear a condom, then he's odiously not good enough for you. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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i seriously have no but. how do i make it biggger?????

Eat a lot and work out everything but your butt.
Or you could go get but injections. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I actually didn't want to put any of this up here at first. I thought I could handle it, I thought things would get better. I thought I didn't need help. But now I see I do because I'm the only one seeing this and it's hurting me so bad watching. This is a very long story and I appologize but I will try to make it as short as possible, so bear with me:

My brother, sixteen year old, has a screwed up life. About 7 months ago, he started dating this girl. None of us, the family, really knew her at first. He just talked about her a lot and she came over once or twice, but even then they just went back to his room and didn't pay any attention to us. Back then, he still had a little bit of life in him. He was getting better little by little until the manipulating started. She actually began talking to the family. She'd come in and say "hi" and give me and my two younger sisters a hug. Of course, my dad had her figured out from day one. He's in this with me, but he doesn't have as much insight because in addition to being my brother's friend, he's also his dad. And with that position comes authority, something my brother tends to stray away from. Anyways, he knew what a manipulative person she was because we could see what she was doing to him. She'd begun calling our dad "dad" and he decided to stop responding so it wouldn't feed her mannipulative needs. He'd just smile and nod. Eventually, she figured him out. So, she'd come in the room and act the usual hyper-ey "hey!"'s and then completely ignore my dad. Of course, he didn't care. So this was the first indicator of how manipulative of a person this girl was. She completely altered my brother's life forever. Next, she got my brother to get her a job at the place he worked. Of course, my brother did so and we thought that having to work with this annoying person 24/7 might show him the light. But no, he continued on even getting closer to her. Then the secrets started coming out. I, being one of his best friends, was told everything. How her father supposedly raped her, how her step mom was "clinically insane". I know her parents were screwed up because she was too, but I didn't know if all of this was true or not. One of this girl's neighbors had told me she was a pathological liar. I know, I know, "how would they know?". They wouldn't. I didn't believe them either. I just saw her as an incredibly manipulative person.

Well, like I said, a month ago, when my brother had 3 weeks left of probation, they packed up some stuff and ran away in his car. Of course, when I heard this, I couldn't help but to cry and look for information. When my dad found no clues in his room, I took a look. I turned his room over and found a few phone numbers. I also found a password to something, but I didn't know what. I gave it to my dad and he tried this girl's email account. Wrong. Then he tried my brother's email account. Wrong again. In a last attempt, he tried their myspaces and what do you know, it's this girl's myspace password. For some reason it was on a piece of paper in my brother's room. Well, my dad and I read all of her recent messages and there was one of them that caught my eye. It was to another guy. She said things like "Why did you break up with me?" and "I still love you!". This message was unread when we read them so we came to the conclusion that she was cheating on my brother, the person she had manipulated enough to love her. By this point, I abbsolutely hated her. I thought when she and him came back, the first thing I would do was to scratch her eyes out. I still hate her. And with good reason. She does more.

It wasn't really a secret that my brother and her "messed around". Almost everyone knew, even my dad who had told him not to. Well, after a while, this girl finally decided she was pregnant. I say she decided because I completely doubt that she was in the first place. Why? If anyone of you ladies has ever had a miscarriage, you know how heart breaking it is. You just lost your child, the one you spent about 9 months living for, living with. The one you were looking forward to. I appologize if this brings back unfriendly memories to any of you, but it has a purpose. This girl, as manipulative as she is, had one. She claimed she fell and it killed the baby. Now, that's not a reason to doubt the pregnancy other than the fact that it must have been a pretty hard fall that left no bruises. However, here she was, a week later, perfectly happy and wanting to try again. She hadn't even grieved the baby's death. My mother had a miscarriage, and she didn't have another baby for 2 years afterwards. This little stunt planted the idea of "fatherhood" in my brother's head and a month after the so-called "miscarriage" she was pregnant. For real this time. How do I know this? Because they went to the doctor's together. In Wyoming. Which is where they ran away to. He called 2 weeks after he had been gone to tell us she was pregnant and that they were fine. He had a strange definition of the word "fine".

He came back alone on Sunday. I was the only one there and I was hoping that he would have changed. Everyone said he would have changed, that this would make him grow up and open his eyes. Wrong. His eyes were still closed. He was completely the same as when he left. Probably worse. He was still with this girl, but he decided it would be better to come home and face his consequences and leave her in wyoming where she was "safe". He told me he was glad he "saved her life". I told him he screwed up his own. Then he says something that proved to me he hadn't changed. He said "not anymore than it was". I felt like slapping him. He had a home, a loving family, 2 fabulous parents, a million friends, and a FUTURE. He had everything and he was willing to throw it all away because of this girl. He can't see how she's changed him. I talked to him just now over myspace, and had a major melt down. I sent an extremely long message to him and we talked. I told him how many people cared about him, how many people he'd hurt. How amazingly manipulative this girl was. At this point, I didn't care if he got mad at me or not, as long as I told him the truth about everything. In almost every reply he said "I really don't care anymore". He told me she wasn't the manipulator, he was. He said he manipulated her and he loved her, which I don't know how you could manipulate the person you love. He said it's complicated and hard to explain. Then he had to go. I just can't take this anymore. When he was gone, I used to just randomly call his cell phone, just to see if he would pick up. Of course, he left his cell at home. The first time I called it, my dad picked up after the first ring and he was already crying. Of course, I was too and we cried on the phone, not saying anything. It just hurts so bad to see that my brother has completely given up on living. His only strand of hope seems to be this girl and their baby. He doesn't care about anything. And it's pushing me into a deep depression watching. But I can't walk away now. I keep feeling like I can help him, but everytime I try he does something stupid and throws himself farther back into the system. I don't know what to do anymore. It's like he can't see anything. I feel like he knows he's dying so he's trying to hold onto everyone he was already close to, but not trying to make it all better. He doesn't smile any more. He doesn't laugh. He doesn't respond. He just....dies. And I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me out. I appologize for the length, but every answer is accepted and will be rated. Thank you for taking the time to read.

Yes I know what you mean. I am going through a similar situation with my own sister. A little different though. She is so insecure with herself that she dates random guys and gets pregnant. Now she's twenty-five years old with four kids, and no way to take care of them. I love her so much, but it's too much to deal with. Right now she's in and out of the hospital with her sixth pregnancy and she actually lost one. The doctors keep telling her "Quit getting pregnant, use protection." She never listens though. I have continuously tried to speak with her on this subject manner many times, but it's not really doing anything. The only advice I can really give you is to learn from his mistakes. I don't mean to burst your bubble but there's really no way you can control things he is doing, that is up to your parents and how ever old he and the girl are. And yes I will agree the girl sounds like a total and complete lier, but for some reason your brother does love her. And that child is going to be your niece or nephew, so you will have to accept it at sometime or another. Just make sure you stay close to the family you do have and don't make the same mistake your brother has made. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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what everyone think heaven is like?

Personally I don't think heaven exists. I am an atheist. To me heaven makes about as much sense as a pig pink elephant in a room that no one notices. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Im a 13 year old girl and i havent had a boyfriend for a whole year! I like this on kid in my class alot but i just dont know how to get him to like me back. Any advice????

I didn't even have my first boyfriend until I was sixteen. Don't worry about it. Go hang out with friends, go have fun.

xoxo,
dottie4

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17/F

I was with my boyfriend, Jake, for about 9 months. We've had MANY lows and few highs, but our relationship level was somewhat in the middle. A lot had to do with the fact that I live an hour away from him, so we only saw each other about twice a week.

Well, these past two weeks we hadn't seen each other much at all. We were also hitting a rough patch because I didn't drive down to see him as often as I usually did. I went and saw him the other day, and it was him who brought up that we should break up. The break up was not bad at all -- in fact, it was probably the best break up ever -- and that's what makes it so much harder.

He wants to be good friends with me. He even said, "If I could choose between being really unhappy but dating you, or not talking to you at all, I'd stay with you because I can't stand not having you in my life." Another things he said was "I honestly might regret this in a few days, so if I call you, you can do one of two things: disregard me, or really, really, reconsider it." He said that we would hang out often, call each other, etc. He said he would start calling me in a week.

I know I was mentally prepared for it, but the impact of the breakup really tore me apart. I teared up a lot when we were talking, but I really broke down when I left his house and got away from his view. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's one of those "want what you don't have" type of things.

I'm terrified to be his friend because I don't know how to be -- we were NEVER "just friends". We also respect each other enough to give each other room to adjust before dating other people. However, I'm scared of this whole friend thing, as I just said. I'm afraid that, if we're friends, I won't get over him when I really should.

What are the best ways to get over a breakup?

Yeah I know exactly what your going through. Honestly I don't think right now is a good time to be friends with him. Over time, maybe in a couple of weeks when things are better, I'd say go for it. One of my past boyfriends went out for seven months and it took me a while to get over it. After a couple months, we became the best of friends. What I did to get over it was get rid of the things that remind you of him. Not as in throw them away because you may want to get them out eventually to remember the good times you shared. Just pack everything up in a box and throw it in the back of a closet somewhere. That's the first step. But you do have to think of it this way. This is time for you, time for you to have time for yourself. Don't be in a hurry to jump into another relationship right away either. I've made the mistake of doing that in the past and really all it did was cause more heartache and drama. But this is the time where you can find new hobbies and become comfortable with yourself again and pretty soon you won't even remember old what's his face. Maybe start learning an instrument, take up potter, whatever you want. Don't just spend your time crying because that won't get you any where except more upset. Hope I helped.

xoxo,
dottie4

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