|
boyfriend problems...
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two months now, and he's a really nice guy, and he is very thoughtful and emotional. I just don't think there's much of a connection between us. I've had a few other boyfriends before, and whenever I am with him, I don't feel the way I think I should...I don't feel attracted to him, I guess is what I'm saying. But I feel guilty dumping him because he is an amazing boyfriend. He buys the best presents and says the sweetest things to me. So, I'm wondering, is it worth it to dump him and hope someone that makes me feel the way I think I should comes along? Or should I just be happy with what I have?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You shouldn't stay with someone you don't have a connection with. It just wouldn't work out in the long haul. Sure you might get into a nice "comfy" relationship, but is that what you really want? To be comfortable, and have really nice boyfriend, but not have any real connection to him? And don't worry about someone better "coming along"...you don't have to just sit there waiting, the time of damsels in distress and rescued princesses is over....go out there and bag yourself your prince!
And P.S don't feel guilty about not having a good connection. That's what dating is for, trial and error until you DO have a connection with someone.
]
If you don't feel something for him already and it's two months, you probably won't. I mean you can't really help it if you don't like someone. No one will blame you if you break up with him. Especially if it's a resonable reason. And by the way, I'm not really sure how old you are but you have your whole life to worry about guys. Just remember, if you do decide to dump him do it politely. Don't do it over the phone because who knows? You may want to stay friends with him. Hope I helped.
xoxo,
dottie4
]
You're seeking excitement. Its that simple.
That connection, that attraction, is the feeling of excitement of being around someone.
I would say, give it time, and talk to him. I'm sure at this point its hard to figure out exactly what you're looking for, but I can guarantee he can provide it. All men have the ability to give a woman what she wants, the problem is figuring that out and figuring out how to give it to her.
Some guys can do this automatically, some can't.
I'd say you need to think about this alot more. Think WHY you don't feel this way, think about previous boyfriends and what made them give you those slight chills, the excited blush. Then go talk to him about it.
In all likely hood, I would say he is probably a little too passive for you. You need to encourage him to take the lead, to be a bit more aggressive with you. This is not an uncommon problem, especially with sweet guys who tend to be more shy. You probably need to break him out of his shyness, because I can guarantee that somewhere in there there are things you WANT him to do.
You just need to figure out what those things are, and communicate them to him.
The answer isn't simply to accept things, or simply to walk. You CAN work on things like this.
]
Sometimes it takes more then 2 months to get to know someone. I dont know how much time you guys spend getting to know each other but spending time together or talking on the phone for hours is always great in the early stages of a relationship. You also have to keep in mind that the longer your with someone the more you kinda grow together, so I would give it a little more time see where it goes, and if its not getting better then dont feel bad for wanting that one guy that makes ur heart stop when your eyes meet his. That guy is there its just a matter of when. Back to this current guy though, you said you dont feel attracted to him... Ask yourself this.. why did you start dating him to begin with? Im sure it wasn't because he bought you nice gifts or anything like that. So if you know the answer to that question and that answer has changed somehow in the past 2 months it might be worth moving on. Follow your heart and not your mind. Your heart will always lead you in the write direction. Good luck
]
This reminds me of a 90's teen movie. All the girls go to the theater to swoon over the lovesick boy, but if that happened in real life, he wouldn't have a chance.
You should hang out with single girls on Valentine's Day.
Or go for a girl's night out and listen to them talk about their dudes.
Then when all the other girls complain about their boyfriends, the ones that dont call, the ones that lie and show no respect or attention, you can think about the guy at home waiting for you to call.
You will hear them just "wish they could find a nice guy who is sweet and does things for them."
If that doesn't change your opinion, then just hit the road. Life is too short to be unhappy, but rare people come along once in a blue moon
]
Too often, teenagers find one thing they are unhappy with in a relationship, and they break it off. Now, I'm not perfect, and I've done the same thing.
I think you should wait it out for a bit. You said he's a good boyfriend, and it's perfectly natural to feel a little loss of connection or no connection at all. Try doing new things or having new conversations. Switch up the routine, and maybe you'll find that there IS a connection, you just haven't found it yet.
But don't be too quick to give up hope. I'd say if after a few more months, you honestly don't feel much of a connection, talk with him about it. Maybe he doesn't feel the same thing? You never know unless you COMMUNICATE! =]
--Jack
(17/m)
]
More Questions: |