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Best way to get over a break up?
17/F
I was with my boyfriend, Jake, for about 9 months. We've had MANY lows and few highs, but our relationship level was somewhat in the middle. A lot had to do with the fact that I live an hour away from him, so we only saw each other about twice a week.
Well, these past two weeks we hadn't seen each other much at all. We were also hitting a rough patch because I didn't drive down to see him as often as I usually did. I went and saw him the other day, and it was him who brought up that we should break up. The break up was not bad at all -- in fact, it was probably the best break up ever -- and that's what makes it so much harder.
He wants to be good friends with me. He even said, "If I could choose between being really unhappy but dating you, or not talking to you at all, I'd stay with you because I can't stand not having you in my life." Another things he said was "I honestly might regret this in a few days, so if I call you, you can do one of two things: disregard me, or really, really, reconsider it." He said that we would hang out often, call each other, etc. He said he would start calling me in a week.
I know I was mentally prepared for it, but the impact of the breakup really tore me apart. I teared up a lot when we were talking, but I really broke down when I left his house and got away from his view. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's one of those "want what you don't have" type of things.
I'm terrified to be his friend because I don't know how to be -- we were NEVER "just friends". We also respect each other enough to give each other room to adjust before dating other people. However, I'm scared of this whole friend thing, as I just said. I'm afraid that, if we're friends, I won't get over him when I really should.
What are the best ways to get over a breakup?
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Yeah I know exactly what your going through. Honestly I don't think right now is a good time to be friends with him. Over time, maybe in a couple of weeks when things are better, I'd say go for it. One of my past boyfriends went out for seven months and it took me a while to get over it. After a couple months, we became the best of friends. What I did to get over it was get rid of the things that remind you of him. Not as in throw them away because you may want to get them out eventually to remember the good times you shared. Just pack everything up in a box and throw it in the back of a closet somewhere. That's the first step. But you do have to think of it this way. This is time for you, time for you to have time for yourself. Don't be in a hurry to jump into another relationship right away either. I've made the mistake of doing that in the past and really all it did was cause more heartache and drama. But this is the time where you can find new hobbies and become comfortable with yourself again and pretty soon you won't even remember old what's his face. Maybe start learning an instrument, take up potter, whatever you want. Don't just spend your time crying because that won't get you any where except more upset. Hope I helped.
xoxo,
dottie4
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My ex and i were only together for 6 months and broke up because he was to controlling but i was in love with him. We got back together about two months later. I stayed the night at his house cleaned and cooked for his 18th birthday. I went to the party he even convinced me to sleep with him that night. the next night after the party he said good bye hugged me and told me how much he loved me. the next day i called him to see what he was doing and his girlfriend answered and told me i needed to stop calling. i was depressed and miserable for MONTHS. he tried to be friend but everytime i talked to him i cried. the only way i was able to get over him and stop thinking about him was to take him out of my life completely. i still think about him sometimes. and he still trys to call me and stuff (this happened last year around June. when we first started dating. June of 07. i know its not that exact same as of whatyour going through but i though my example might help. but now i am over him doesnt matter if someone talks about him or he calls im over him.
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Has he called you at all since the breakup?
I think you should try and hang out with him as a friend, see how it goes. If things are going horribly, tell me how you feel. I know it is so much easier said than done, but it will help a lot!
good luck xo
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The best way to get over a break up is time. If you guys were really intense, it may not be the best idea to just be friends, b/c that will make even harder. But I can see why you are scared to be friends with him, and it may be really hard, im not going to lie to you. But if anything give it s shot, if worse comes to worse, you guys can take a break from the whole situation until you both have started to move on, then be friends again. I understand why you are sad and everything, and I am sorry you guys broke up, it is hard. But not allowing yourself to move on is even harder.
Just go out and do things don't just sit at home all depressed, go out with friends and live your life, you can handle this and you will be okay.
Sometimes if you wirte how it makes you feel, that is a cathartic way to realize any heldback emotions.
Just give yourself time and live your life, that is how you move on. If you hold yourself back and just stay at home, you will never move on. ITll hurt at first, but thats how it is. Just try to be friends and don't worry about it, just give it a chance, and see where it goes.
Good luck, and I am sorry again about Jake. Things will get better soon, I promise. :)
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Thats a good question. I could never get over the one person I cared about. I just did things to occupy my time to keep my thoughts off of her. Thats the best advice I can give, just try to do things to keep your mind off of him.
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