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17/F
I was with my boyfriend, Jake, for about 9 months. We've had MANY lows and few highs, but our relationship level was somewhat in the middle. A lot had to do with the fact that I live an hour away from him, so we only saw each other about twice a week.
Well, these past two weeks we hadn't seen each other much at all. We were also hitting a rough patch because I didn't drive down to see him as often as I usually did. I went and saw him the other day, and it was him who brought up that we should break up. The break up was not bad at all -- in fact, it was probably the best break up ever -- and that's what makes it so much harder.
He wants to be good friends with me. He even said, "If I could choose between being really unhappy but dating you, or not talking to you at all, I'd stay with you because I can't stand not having you in my life." Another things he said was "I honestly might regret this in a few days, so if I call you, you can do one of two things: disregard me, or really, really, reconsider it." He said that we would hang out often, call each other, etc. He said he would start calling me in a week.
I know I was mentally prepared for it, but the impact of the breakup really tore me apart. I teared up a lot when we were talking, but I really broke down when I left his house and got away from his view. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's one of those "want what you don't have" type of things.
I'm terrified to be his friend because I don't know how to be -- we were NEVER "just friends". We also respect each other enough to give each other room to adjust before dating other people. However, I'm scared of this whole friend thing, as I just said. I'm afraid that, if we're friends, I won't get over him when I really should.
What are the best ways to get over a breakup? (link)
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Thats a good question. I could never get over the one person I cared about. I just did things to occupy my time to keep my thoughts off of her. Thats the best advice I can give, just try to do things to keep your mind off of him.
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18/f.
i think it's time for a change :)
so i've never really done anything with a guy before besides the making out, getting felt up, gotten a hickey you know that kind of stuff, never had an actual boyfriend but i really like this guy. have for three years now. i know he wants to do something with me, he's always tried to get down my pants,and things like that but i've always been to scared so i push him away like i don't want him to! i do want to, he makes me horny but i'm nervous. i know i'm not ready for sex, i've told him that but getting fingered doesn't really bother me. i was just wondering if i'm the only one who feels like this. did any of you feel like he would think your vagina was smelly, or your "lips" were different sizes, your vagina was not smooth enough, that you were too wet? i always overthink everything, and i know it would probably feel good but i'm scared that my vagina is so abnormal. and i have to wear a pantyliner because i usually have a lot of discharge, so i have taken that off before i've seen him (just in case) and he would always touch me and i would get really wet, and my underwear would be like soaked and i was worried he could like feel it through my jeans and so i'm worried if he did finger me he would be like wow, thats disgusting. just little things like that worries me. and i mean, i know alot of people who do it with their pants on, wouldn't that be sort of an awkward position? just any information, experiences, anything that could help me would be very much appreciated. please don't tell me to make sure it's with a boy i'm in love with, make sure i'm ready because i know i am but it is my first time getting fingered so obviously i'm going to be worried about it. my cousin who is 17 just told me tonight he fingered this girl (she is not a slut) and he told me that it was her first time and she was scared but she still did it. i don't understand how people just do it and don't always have doubts. i feel like if i just do it the first time, i will be okay after that. it's just taking the first step. well anything else that could turn him on would also help, just any tips that could help me with the "turning him on" and making him really want me will be great. thank you so much! (link)
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19/m.
Ok, first thing you need to stop worrying about is your vagina. It's fine. Guys your age should know that vaginas are different depending on the girl. Next, being wet is generally a turn on for guys. I get turned on knowing I'm turning a girl on. Pants on? I think I know what you mean.... don't do that. It's uncomfortable for guys and I would imagine for girls as well. I would suggest wearing a skirt. Make sure you communicate, like tell him it's your first time and if hes doing a good or bad job. Don't hold in anything because you're scared, most guys get turned on when a girl moans and all.
The first time I fingered a girl I was scared shitless. I didn't know what I was doing and it just happened. Turned into a great relationship.
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