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getting fingered?
18/f.
i think it's time for a change :)
so i've never really done anything with a guy before besides the making out, getting felt up, gotten a hickey you know that kind of stuff, never had an actual boyfriend but i really like this guy. have for three years now. i know he wants to do something with me, he's always tried to get down my pants,and things like that but i've always been to scared so i push him away like i don't want him to! i do want to, he makes me horny but i'm nervous. i know i'm not ready for sex, i've told him that but getting fingered doesn't really bother me. i was just wondering if i'm the only one who feels like this. did any of you feel like he would think your vagina was smelly, or your "lips" were different sizes, your vagina was not smooth enough, that you were too wet? i always overthink everything, and i know it would probably feel good but i'm scared that my vagina is so abnormal. and i have to wear a pantyliner because i usually have a lot of discharge, so i have taken that off before i've seen him (just in case) and he would always touch me and i would get really wet, and my underwear would be like soaked and i was worried he could like feel it through my jeans and so i'm worried if he did finger me he would be like wow, thats disgusting. just little things like that worries me. and i mean, i know alot of people who do it with their pants on, wouldn't that be sort of an awkward position? just any information, experiences, anything that could help me would be very much appreciated. please don't tell me to make sure it's with a boy i'm in love with, make sure i'm ready because i know i am but it is my first time getting fingered so obviously i'm going to be worried about it. my cousin who is 17 just told me tonight he fingered this girl (she is not a slut) and he told me that it was her first time and she was scared but she still did it. i don't understand how people just do it and don't always have doubts. i feel like if i just do it the first time, i will be okay after that. it's just taking the first step. well anything else that could turn him on would also help, just any tips that could help me with the "turning him on" and making him really want me will be great. thank you so much!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
A couple of red flags came up while reading your question that I want you to think about. If you are extremely worried or wound up so tightly about doing this hold off for a bit.
Develop more of a trust with him and talk about where this can/can't go physically and concerns. Only do it when you feel 100% right about it. Also, you say about all he wants to do is get down your pants.
That sets off a warning bell that it indeed be all he's concerned about and trying for. Make sure he's not the type to ditch you and or blab to his buddies about what he got X to do with him. I'm sure, he's not like that but do consider if in fact he might be.
The other thing is with guys his age not many of them have seen outside of magazines etc. they may have gotten into actual female anatomy. He's probably feels excited and scared to get this intimate.
Also, mature guys know genitals (both sexes) don't smell like a rose garden. As long as you don't have an infection it shouldn't phase a partner. If it did than it's their problem. He's likely got the same issue about his private parts.
Also, you're the one in charge here and not him. Don't forget that set some ground rules, discuss how far you both are ready, what you want from this relationship etc. first. and that it won't escalate to sex.
I need to point out that sex between two people unless both 18+ isn't legal but if this progresses towards it get protection from a method of birth control plus condoms. The activities you're looking to get into with him can easily get you carried away or him. You need to tell him where to stop.
Bottom line if you have tons of doubts, fears, insecurities about this HOLD OFF until you address them with him. That's how to stay safe, secure and enjoy yourself.
It's also common sense but bathing or showering before you engage in this activity would make sure you're clean and less worried about cleanliness.
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You being really wet down there turns a guy on. I am that way and my fiance loves it! Makes him feel good about him self. That he gets me that wet. I dont know about the smelling part I haven't ever had a problem with that. I am sure if you wash down there and take care of your self you are fine. "lips" don't matter that is what makes you, you sort of. take a deep breath and calm down.!
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Don't worry about your vagina. Guys know they are all different. I don't think guys will really judge it...they like vaginas no matter what, haha. And getting wet is a big turn on for guys, and it makes them feel like whatever they're doing, it's turning you on big time ;). And there is always your first time for everything and yeah, you'll be nervous but there is no reason to fret about it because it doesn't hurt or anything. It's just like your first kiss, you get really nervous about it but then you get more comfortable with it and it's no big deal after that. It turns up the intensity between yall too. As of your underwear getting really wet, if you're annoyed by it, I don't know what you could do about that since you take off the pantiliner before seeing him. Hmm turning HIM on, my boyfriend loves it when I kiss his neck and I don't know about him, but nibbling and kissing my ear really turns me on so try that :P. It's not that hard to turn a guy on. And if you're ready, start touching him and whatever you're comfortable with.
I hope I helped and good luck and don't worry :D
--Jenna
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19/m.
Ok, first thing you need to stop worrying about is your vagina. It's fine. Guys your age should know that vaginas are different depending on the girl. Next, being wet is generally a turn on for guys. I get turned on knowing I'm turning a girl on. Pants on? I think I know what you mean.... don't do that. It's uncomfortable for guys and I would imagine for girls as well. I would suggest wearing a skirt. Make sure you communicate, like tell him it's your first time and if hes doing a good or bad job. Don't hold in anything because you're scared, most guys get turned on when a girl moans and all.
The first time I fingered a girl I was scared shitless. I didn't know what I was doing and it just happened. Turned into a great relationship.
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