StarryNightSkies's advice column

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Q: I'm just curious. About how much money does an average parent spend on his/her child per year, including food, insurance, school, clothes, furniture, everything?

It really depends on the age of the child if the baby it will cost a lot... they eat a lot they need diapers and all sorts of stuff like carseats and high chairs and they need a new set of clothes each month... but as they grow the needs become a lot less expensive but the wants... just try not to give in for stuff they don't need lol!

Q: 17/female my name is Rachel and my mom is driving me crazy.when my mom has these mood swings she takes it out on me and I can't take it anymore and I feel like moving,but I can't becouse iam to young.I want to move with my cousin michelle i've already asked her about it and she said of course she's 36 and she's getting a room ready for me right now,but I told her not to do it yet becouse I have to ask my mom first and I know my mom would go pysoco if I asked her becouse the last time I did mom trough a stool at me and luckily it missed is that child abuse what should I do and then my mom started pulling my hair what should I do?

I suggest you tell her that you are moving out instead of asking...make sure when you do this you would have a ride to get to your cousin's house right away... I think it would be best if you had michelle pick you up and call you when she is in the drive way if she has a cell phone... pack your bag ahead of time and when your cousin calls you tell your mom that you are leaving and that is final. You should tell her the Emotional and Physical abuse is too much for you and you need to get out until she see's someone about her problem and gets better.

if you ever need to talk or need help feel free IM me on AIM my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: my best friend has bein with her boyfriend for 5 months rite they have had sex about 17 times...
He doesnt believe in using a condom,and they havent once. 4 times shes put me under pressure saying shes pregnet and i have bein with her through it no matter what. She lost the baby the last time and the last 3 times was jus a miss hab. But now you see its happeing again she she hasnt come on here periods 4 2 months and can feel movement in her womb what shall i do?? Shes only 14 and her mom will kill her but i think she wants to keep it Please help me!!

Wow she is really stupid... Just tell her that its not your problem to be dealing with and she is putting stress on you... tell her she is your best friend but it was her fault that she did this to herself. You should also let her know that she should see a clinic and see about visiting a planned parenthood group. but make sure you let her know that you are there for her.

Q: For the last couple of years my parents have been figting more and more. I don't really get along with my dad but I get along with my mom like we are best friends! So... my mom has this friend and we tell my dad we are going to dance class , but we are really going to his house! He is a really nice guy! My mom says that my dad and her will be divorced soon, and that we will move in with this other guy, but they will not get married. I really like this guy and I know that he will be better for my mom! Buy the way my dad hates this guy. Should I be worried about what my dad might do when he finds out we are living with him?

This could be kind of dangerous expecially if he find out that you are lying about dance classes. You just have to make sure your dad isn't a dangerous or jealous type of guy... if he is then maybe you can suggest going into a witness protection program

Q: i dont know if i put this under the right category or not..but..my friend from school is having a little going away party for her..and theres gonna be guys and stuff and i just got the invite and it says, "COME READY TO SWIM" and the last party we had for the end of the year party..i didnt go to becuz i was self concious..now im 115 pounds and im 5'3 but i still feel like im wide and from the front i have all that lower tummy fat..and like everyone of my friends are skinnier than me and i just cant go to swimming parties cuz im always so down on myself! i dont know what to do! all answers are appreciated! thanks!

Well if you feel self consious in a swim suit you could get some cute girls board shorts and a tank top that matches!!! that way you dont have to be in a swim suit...

www.pacsun.com this is a place that you can get really cute board shorts and tanks!

hope this helps you feel better!!!

if you need to talk my screen name for AIM is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: I have this friend shes a rly good friend to me. She HAD a boyfrined for a year and then she broke up with him. Well i was frineds with him and we still are and we talk on line and stuff. But i feel like im startin to develop a crush on him. i dont kno why he was supposed to stop by my house today to jus chill, and i have no idea what im supposed to do. I like him but icant do tht to my close friend. I need help. what do ido.

First you should decide what is more important Your friend or your love life... here is what i would do..

if i really like him i would
1) talk to my friend kind of quiz her by saying what would you do if one of your really good friends dated one of your ex's?
2) if she says she wouldn't care i would tell her that i like him
3) tell him that you like him ( be prepared for rejection because it doesn't always work out)

if your friend wouldn't like you dating her ex yet you still really want to be with him

1)talk to him, ask him how he feels about you
2)if he wants to date you ask if maybe you could have a private relationship

Q: 17/f

Haha this is a very strange question but I tend to get hard nipples (when it's cold.. etc) and they show through my shirts. I have tried padded bras (they don't help much) and duct tape (doesn't work at all). It is also quite embarassing if I am wearing a swimsuit and they show through.

How can I stop them from showing.. I don't mind if it is uncomfortable but I do not like having to put on more shirts since it can usually even show through hoodies and what not.

Thanks for your help

If you don't mind adding size to your breasts you could try a water or gel bra... i dont think there is any way your iron nipples could poke through those... also there is something called a pastie those also work...

hope this helps !!!
if you have anymore questions feel free to ask or IM me on AIM my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: I don't understand where the hymen is in the body. How does it not pop everytime you put in a tampon, like how is that different from a guy putting his penis in you? Is the hymen in your uterus? I'm so confused, can someone give me a link to a diagram or something? Thanks, 13/Female.

Its right at the opening of the vagina. For most people it doesn't pop when you use a tampon but for others it does... Everyone is different so the thickness of the Hymen changes. The penis ususally streachs the hymen because it is much wider than a tampon.

This drawing of the parts is pretty helpful just look for the part labled hymen and should help you...
http://www.nva.org/images/pic_vulva.gif

Q: 14/f
Well, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and 2 months last night around 11:50. I dont even know what I was thinking! I was confused and I kept thinking about what would happen if he broke up with me. then I guess I started conviceing myself that he WAS cheating on me and I broke up with him. He didnt seem too upset. After I got off the phone with him I balled my head off for hours. I even started gasping for air and then started choking. I dont know what that was all about but thats how much I was crying. anyways then I talked to my friend Zach till i dont know what time but we talked for at least 3 hours. He cheered me up some but I still cant help but think about him. I love him more than life itself! I miss him so much and I dont think he misses me. I want to call him and say sorry and everything but Im afraid he wont care! I miss him so much you have no idea! Please help! should I call him?!?!? Should I just move on??! please Ill rate 5's i swear!

I say you call him and tell him the story... Tell him you didn't know what was happening and you weren't thinking when you broke up with him. And if he takes you back he really did miss you... If he already moved on then He is a jerk and isn't worth your tears.

Hope this works and you work things out!!

If you need help or need to talk my screen name for AIM is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: my mom is sooo annoing with puberty and stuff. she acts all embarresed when i talk about it (which i hardly ever do cause since her behavior it makes me humiliated) and she reminds me of a 3 year old. I told her i had my period and she's like ok put a pad on and then for the last 2 days she has been acting all weird to me. We had like 3 pads left when i first got my first period and that was 2 days ago and i still have my period. So right now i'm on my last pad and i've been wearing it all day cause i'm way to embarresed to ask my mom if she can buy more cause then it will be awkward and the awkwardness is just beginning to wear off from when i told her i got my period. and also i'm extremely embarresed to go to the store and buy pads myself. I have no older siblings and I don't want to ask my dad to do it. Gosh PLEASE HELP HOW CAN I GET PADS??? Please I know this annoys you but: please dont tell me to ask my parents to buy some. Also please dont ask me to buy some cause when i went to cvs and bought acne wash for the first time the employee was trying to hide a smile.

I don't really have that problem with my mom because my family is All girls... even my cats are girls... but if I were in your situation I would probably call a friend and ask if she had some you could use you could also use a piece of cloth or paper towel or wash cloth... also you can find some old pairs of underwear and put like 2 or 3 on at a time...

hope this helps!

if you need to talk my screen name for AIM is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: ok soo im going to a wedding tomorrow and im going to a hair salon to get it done. any ideas? my hair is medium length w/ long layers.

It really depends on what your hair can do and if the wedding is formal or not...

if it is formal and your hair can curl then i suggest getting a curly up-do they are really cute!

if its an informal wedding then i always like to curl my hair and put a ribbon in it acting as a head band.... if you are going to do this it is always good to get a ribbon that is not too thick and not too thin also one that matches your dress... you can get these at a store like michaels or wal-mart...

here is a good website

www.brides.com -- go to beauty and you will have a section called hairstyles

hope this helps

if you need more help then my screen name for AIM is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: are there any kits that can help me perfect eyebrows because I don't want to practice on mine.and also how do you shave or get rid of the hair under your armpits.sorry I haven't leanred yet and I am to embarressed to ask my parents.

For your eyebrows:

If your eyebrows are nicely shaped and sized a pair of tweezers should work to get the few extra hairs that pop up out of place... Just make sure you don't pinch your skin ouch... other than that it doesn't hurt...

If your eyebrows are slightly bushy and not shaped I would suggest going to a place like a hair salon to get them waxed...

For your Armpits:

It is fairly easy... what I like to do is put some lotion on them so I won't get razor burn and it's better than shaving cream because you can see what you are doing... next what you want to do is stretch your arm all the way up or if you are flexable enough put it so your elbow is above your head but bend the rest of your arm behind your back... take your shaver in the opposite hand and make sure you start at the top with the handle facing down and make even strokes.. repeat with the other arm

hope this works... if you have any questions feel free to IM me on AIM my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: I'm kind of "addicted" to Gatorade. Everytime we go to the store, I buy it. And, instead of buying cokes to keep around the house like I use to, I now buy Gatorade.. and drink atleast 1 a day. Ok, my question is.. Is Gatorade bad for you? And is drinking this much harmful? Should I cut down on any/all/how much?

Oh my Gosh I love gatorate too! I drank 108 FL.OZ. of it in 2 days!...

Don't worry about your addiction to it it is actually quite healthy for you... It hydrates you and gives you energy from good stuff unlike energy drinks which give you energy from sugar... It is a much better choice than soda...just try to get a few glasses of water everyday.... like the gatorade bottle says Gatorade is a smart choice for athletes because it rehydrates, replenishes, and refuels in ways that water can't....

hope this helps!

Q: I'm 13 and obviously female and this afternoon I started getting cramps. At first I thought it was just a stomach ache and maybe I ate too much, but it felt kind of different. My mom suggested that I was going to get my period soon, and I already had boobs, hair on my body, and discharge. 3 hours later, when I went to the bathroom I noticed a big dried up brownish spot on my underwear. There wasn't alot of it but it wasn't liquid. Could this be my period? I don't know because people tell me the very first time you get your period you dont have cramps and you don't get cramps until like the 2nd or 3rd time. I didn't feel any blood coming out either. Not to gross you out, but in a way it looks like dried up poop but in a really light brown color.

For me cramps always feel like my ovaries are filled with liquid like I really have to pee... The brown spot in your underwear could deffinatly be your period... it also might be a part of Pre-menstural-system (PMS) called spotting... to be on the safe side of leaks I would wear a pad or panty liner... you can deffinatly get cramps the first time I know I did! I've never felt blood coming out most people dont... don't be scared if you see something that looks like skin because it is normal it is just the lining of your uterus.

if you need further help feel free to IM me on AIM
my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE

Q: I was wondering, what are some of the reasons why I am itchy 'down there'. It started being itchy about a week or so ago, and I don't know why. It's off and on and I should be getting my period sometime this/next week. Don't suggest going to the doctors or to my mom because those aren't options for me, I want to know what it could be. Thanks.

It could be many things but you have to be the detective on this one...
it could be things like a yeast infection or maybe even STI's (STD's)

answer these questions to yourself...

1) Are you sexually active?
2) If you have had sex did you use a condom?
3) Have you used any new products like soaps or lotions that you might possibly be allergic to?
4) Do you wash regularly ''down there''
5) Do you ususally change your panties everyday?
6) Are your jeans or clothing tight?

To make this clear up do this:
If you are sexually active you should get tested i know you don't want to see a doctor but you should...make sure any new products you used you aren't allergic to by testing them on a patch of skin like your arm...make sure you wash regularly... make sure you are putting clean underwear on every day because that can cause an infection... also by wearing a baithing suit all day could do it because there isn't any air getting in...lastly make sure your clothing isn't too tight or rubbing because that can irritate the area and cause the itching sensation.

I hope this helps!! if you have any quesitons my screen name is OH FAKE A SMiLE for AIM.