Brandi_S's advice column | Page 152

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Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

Visitors:

125083

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hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

This situation is a litte weird. So I'm 14/f and this girl, let's call her Jane, is in my grade and let's call this other girl Lisa, is in a grade level high than ours. So Jane and I were good friends last year but one thing piled on top of another and I really dislike her now and I'm tyring to pull away from her deviously as to not cause any drama [I know, unavoidable] Lisa, is a trouble girl I guess. She's doing drugs, she smokes, drinks, and all that stuff. She also goes out with guys/girls for the max 2 weeks and in b/w she screws them [she lost her viginity when she was 13 or 14]

Well, guess what. Jane and Lisa are going out. Jane is already doing drugs so that won't effect her. But Jane and Lisa..well they're both horny all the time and I swera Lisa will get Jane involved in some sexual activity soon. They're already making out in front of everyone at school and they've been going out for 2 days now?

Should I be worried..should I just leave this alone...should i step in...what sohuld I do?

If they aren't involving you, and it has nothing to do with you, there's not a lot you can do.

You can direct them to get help with their drug abuse. I would. That is a big concern for their well being.

However, when it comes down to their sex lives and all that, there isn't anything you can do. Their sex lives are, really, no body's business but their own.

What they are doing has no effect on you, so let them do what they will. That's all you can do.

say for my sweet 16, i wanted to go out for dinner with about 6 of my close friends .. since it's my birthday party type thing, would i have to pay for dinner or would they pay for their own food? what's appropriate and not rude? if it's not necessary that i have to pay then that'd be great =] not to sound cheap but dinner for 7 or 8 people can get kind of expensive

Well, it can work either way.

Usually when some one invites others out to dinner, the host pays for the guests.

But since it's your birthday dinner, most people pay for the dinner of the person who's birthday it is.

It just depends, really. So it is hard to give a good answer.

However, I will say that it is not rude to ask them to pay for their own meals.

When I go to the mall or movies with my guy friend he always holds the first door open. But my question is if there is a second set of doors should I just wait for him to open those too, or should I just open them myself?

My husband opens the first door for me, and I just go on in the second myself. If you want to wait on him to open the door for you, then let him. If he didn't want to do it, he wouldn't open the first door.

I am 51, my mom is 80. How do I handle her when we go shopping and she starts to lecture me that I am spending too much money and I really dont need to buy any more clothes unless I see something special. You see I get angry and say how dare she make comments and tell me what to do and how to do it and what to buy. HELP

Okay, when she lectures you, kindly let her know that you will do things your way, as she does things her way.

Do you have anybody who depends on your money other than yourself? If not, then you should just buy all the clothes your heart desires as long as you don't put yourself into debt over it. You have lived 51 years, and I'm sure you know by now what is best for you.

Don't get nasty or rude with her about it. It isn't worth fighting over, for certain. That, and since she is your mother, she is probably just trying to advise you to do the right thing. But that doesn't mean you have to take her advice.

She is 80 and was raised in a completely different time than you or I. She was born in the 30's and lived during the depression, so she was raised with only buying what you need to get by, and not what you want. That is something you nor she can ever change. So keep that in mind when she says these things to you. Her advice and the things she says are based on her own life experiences.

As for the red sweater you want, she may have said it wasn't there anymore in order to keep you from buying it, based on how she feels about your purchasing. Go check it out for yourself. If you want it, get it.

The best thing I can say is don't get angry with her. Don't lose your temper. Don't write her a letter. I know that is VERY hard to do, but none of it is worth it. She won't change her ways and neither will you. It's just something you have to accept.

Just let it go. When she tells you how to do things, just say something like "Thanks for your advice, Mom, I shall take it into consideration" and do what YOU think is best for YOU.

Your mom is 80 years old. She won't be around forever. You have to keep that in mind. You don't want to have bad blood with her or hard feelings towards her. She may only be here for another year or two, depending on her health. Once she is gone, you can't take back hurtful things you said, and you will feel bad. That's why I say fighting with her and getting angry with her isn't worth it.

Do what you want. If you want a new skirt, go get it. If she don't like it, big deal. That's her opinion. Don't let the things she says get to you. Let it roll off like water on a duck's back.

Ok im starting year 10 this year and everyone i know already knows wat they want to do when they grow up. Everytime we have a conversation about jobs and careers i just sit there and pretend i dont exist. When i was younger i wanted to be a million things and now i have no idea what i want to do. I was thinking of being a doctor but i cant stand blood. I want to help people. I really love animals and its really horrible when i see them hurt so i thought of being a veterinarian but the whole blood thing again..2 of my aunties, my uncle, my cousins and my sister are teachers but i cant really see myself as one. I like art and music [[dont want to be a musician]] and animals. is there like a website of jobs? i need help!!! im so confused >.

Ok, with some research, I have found a quiz that may help you.

I have taken it myself, and it calculated a list of career possibilities for me, and it was pretty accurate based on my interests.

http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/career.htm

Good luck!

My friend and I went to the movies the other day and the whole movie she was making out with her boyfriend.

I found this weird because no one in my grade really does this. But I kept seeing her like rub his private parts over his pants.. and I know this sounds weird but I could hear him like moaning.

But question is, is this normal? Is this just like giving a hand job?

I know this question seems stupid, I'm just really uneducated.

Thanks in advance.

Well, first off, what the hell kind of friend does such things in front of other friends? Or anybody else, for that matter? It's like putting on a show, really. That's not normal.

Such things are normally done in PRIVACY. I don't know what grade you are in, but that is probably why you don't know that anyone else does it. Because they don't display it.

Now, second off, I don't think that there is any set age of when it is normal to start sexual activity. Though I will say that 7th and 8th grade is a bit too young. When I was that age, we never thought of such things to be quite honest.

I will say that one thing leads to another. If your giving a guy a hand job through his pants, he will want you to give it to him without the pants. Then we have a domino effect that leads to having sex. And I am a firm believer that you aren't ready for sex if you aren't ready for the hard responsibility of having a baby.

for the past year i have become very fond of a guy that i will call lo. about 2 months ago i started to have feelings about him and i started slowly to let him know thank goodness without having sex. i have seen him less and less since i let him know. he has not called me in a while. so i let 2 weeks go by and then me and my twins were at the local convenience store and there he was and he came up to me and asked me where i had been and i told him school had started back and i had been busy with the kids. so i said he had something to tell me and that he would call me. he hasn't called yet so i have tried to call him several times for the mere reason i really would like to know what he has to tell me. he won't answer his house phone or cell phone. can you give me some idea of what i might do to

I will start by giving you a pat on the back from afar. A lot of young ladies (and not so young ladies) think of sex as a term of endearment instead of what it truly is: a way to show love between two people who mutually feel that way. So good for you!

As for this guy...

Does he attend school also, or have a time consuming job? If the answer is yes, it may just be that he is a very busy guy. If the answer is no, then I regret to inform you, he isn't worth your time. If he sits around and does nothing all the time, then he has plenty of time to pick up the phone as he said he would.

If he said he had something to say to you and that he would call, I would wait on him to call you, as nerve racking as that is. To keep calling him may turn him away, due to the fact he may see you as being persistent and desperate. He knows your interest in him, don't worry about that.

It may be that he has something personal to say to you that he doesn't want those around him to hear. And it may be that when you call, some one is around him, making it an inopportune moment to chat.

However, if he doesn't call you within 2 weeks from the time he said to you he would call, then I would say he is stringing you along. A person, no matter how busy, has enough spare time in 14 days to make a personal, private phone call.

I was the one who asked the other day about dyeing hair red.

So anyways, I used Garnier Nutriesse and i liked the color. It was auburnish, but more red than brown,a nd the red faded quickly. If I use Garnier 100% color (since it supposedly works better on dark hair) in a couple days, will my hair be okay? Or will I be frying my roots and destroying my hair? How long should I wait before I re-dye?

thanks :)

I would not advise using ANY brand of hair coloring on your hair no sooner than one week following a treatment.

Oh, you could do it sooner than that, but your hair will get damaged enough doing it in a week, let alone less than that.

All hair coloring products contain chemicals that damage your hair. The ones like Garnier who claim to have natural ingredients only have added them to the common chemicals, such as peroxide, alcohol, and ammonia.

Red is the hardest color to put into your hair, and it is also the hardest to get back out. Weird but true.

When you do color treat your hair again, it may help to choose a color with more red than you want to end up with. It may help in the fading. But beware: your hair will be VERY red for a week or so.

To help with the fading, you may try to wash your hair every other day instead of everyday. But do condition daily- your hair needs that. However, if you choose to use the tip above, wash daily until it gets to be the desired red.

i have a best friend who when i tell her i love her all she says is you to.She says she dosent like bing touch when i give her a hug but she hugs other people.If i let her go what should i do to not suffer so much?

Have you even talked to her about this issue? I should hope you have if you plan to send her packing.

She is your best friend, you should be able to tell her your problems and how you feel.

You can't just throw away a best friend and go get a new one. A best friend is some one who you share complete trust.

I would say not to let her go. I would say you need to talk to her before you make such a decision.

how can i make my hair grow faster?

i can't get extensions, i need something that won't cost more than $40

home remedies would be great

anything else would be welcomed! i don't even know where to go or what to get but i want my hair very long as soon as possible.

thank you
=]

On average, human hair grows 1/4 inch per month. There are no miracle shampoos, cremes, or anything else.

You can't make it grow faster.

Trimming does not make it grow faster, it keeps it from splitting, breaking, and getting shorter. It keeps your hair healthy.

Extensions are the only way to make it instantly longer, unless you buy a wig.

where does hair grow? from the rrooots or from the ends,.? coz im trying to make my hair longer and this is what i read from a website:

" Trim your hair often, at least once in 5-6 weeks, so that split ends and dry hair are removed. Hair stops growing at the split ends. "

Answer Edit:
If you want to grow your hair long, you might as well keep it at its healthiest. I would suggest getting it trimmed, but you don't have to do it every 5-6 weeks. I'm trying to grow mine long, and I only go when I notice a split end. I'm due for a trim, and my last one was in July.

You can prolong the time between trims by washing your hair every other day, and conditioning everyday. Shampoo dries hair quite a bit, even if it is a conditioning shampoo.

I always leave conditioner in my hair for at least 2 minutes before rinsing, even if the brand doesn't require it.

Follow that up with a deep conditioning treatment once a week. Something like Aussie 3 Minute Miracle, V05 Hot Oil Treatment, or whatever you like to use best.

This works on mine, and my hair is dry and damaged due to chemical processing.

Uh... funny website...

Hair grows from the roots in the scalp. Trimming keeps your hair from splitting and breaking and eventually getting shorter.

I've never heard of such a thing as your hair stops growing at the split ends. It sounds ridiculous to me. Makes me wonder what they are trying to sell...

Nothing makes it grow faster, either. Human hair, on average, grows 1/4" per month.

is it true that if you trimm your hair 4-8 wks. it gets longer? explain why . i always thought that 'oh yeah who cares if i have split ends, ill let my hair grow a lil longer and then when its long already just the way i like it, ill have them TRiMMED!" true or false. explain why please. thanks can anyone send me a good website for taking care of hair???? ll thanks

It will not make your hair grow longer. However, trimming will keep your hair from breaking off and getting shorter, and your hair will look healthier.

If a guy was just using you for sex, would the guy actually makeout with you and kiss you?Or would he avoid it?

He's trying to get into her pants. If he is a user, he will go to any length. He even will say he loves her to get what he wants.

16/female. I'm a junior in high school and my student teacher is extremely hot! He's 21 and he is totally in to me. We have sex at school, in the parking lot in his car. it's not regular sex but kinky crazy sex with toys and everything. Well he always tells me he loves me and if I ever left him he would freak out and come to my house and take me away. But I love this other guy at my school and I had sex with him...if the teacher finds out I'm screwed! He is always following me at school and making sure I don't flirt with guys. He even took me to his office once because I was "flirting" with guys and he kissed me really hard and said that he wouldn't ever share me. I need to get out of this relationship but I'm really scared for my life sometimes. The sex is getting way too crazy for me, he likes sticking things inside of me like sticks and everything. He's hot too, I don't want to hurt his feelings. Help?

Uh... Call the police. File a report. RIGHT NOW.

Ever hear of statutory rape? Ever hear of stalking? These are serious crimes. The fact that he is a teacher having sexual relations with a student is an even more serious crime, considering he is working with children.

Why are you concerned about his feelings? To hell with him and his feelings. HE IS ABUSING YOU.

How about your feelings? How about how you feel when he stalks you, tells you can't see this boy you like, and sticks foreign objects inside of your body? He is violating you with sticks, for crying out loud.

The fact that he is hot has nothing to do with anything. He may be good looking on the outside, but he is a piece of shit on the inside. HE IS A SEXUAL PREDITOR!

I see all of the 1 ratings you gave before me. I could care less if you rate me so low for telling you the truth. You need to hear it, like it or don't.

Everyone who has responded to you is trying to tell you that you are being ABUSED. This guy is supposed to be someone you can trust to look out for your well being. He has no right to be a teacher. He is doing this to you, he will do it to other girls. I REPEAT: SEXUAL PREDITOR!

You still have another year in school with this pervert. You can't afford to be in denial, here. This is going to scar you enough. Don't let him make it worse.

Next time he pulls you into his office, or any other private place, scream at the top of your lungs "NO!" and "RAPE!" Never leave the building with him. NEVER GET INTO HIS CAR!!!

He is so obsessed, he may kidnap you, rape you, and leave you dead in a ditch somewhere. He is obviously a CRAZY PERVERT.

You need to look out for yourself and your safety. Right now, your situation is so unsafe it is terrifying.

What should I tell my parents that I have so many cuts in my school? Im in the 10th grade. My parents got a letter showing all the absences. What should I do?

Own up to it. That's all you can do. That is the responsible thing to do. To lie will only make matters worse, because it is so damn easy for them to catch you in your lie.

Did you know that in most schools, after so many absences, you can be turned into the police as a truant?

You better start getting your ass to class.

i dont know if this fits in this category but oh well.

im allergic to codeine and i dont know what pills have it in them.

can someone give me a list of pills that have it in there like does ectstasy and xanex have it in them?

i think vicoden does but im not sure.
so can someone please do this for me.

Well. Very interesting. Exactly what kind of advice are you seeking here?

If you are allergic to something, the doctor won't prescribe it.

But, for some odd reason, I don't think that you are interested in getting these pills from your doctor. Tell me I'm wrong. Ecstasy tells me the truth behind this question.

Seems you are looking for a good time? Well, won't be so fun when you end up in the hospital for drug overdose. It is even worse that some of these pills can leave you wide open for being raped if you take them in the wrong company.

Ecstasy is not a drug that is sold anywhere other than illegally. It is illegal to have Xanax and Vicodin without a prescription. It is illegal to abuse any controlled substance.

15/m
I've been depressed for the past year and don't know what do do about it. My mom takes hormone replacement and says it makes her feel a lot better, so I started taking them. It was about 4 months ago, and I've felt really good since I've taken them. But they are doing some really weird stuff to me and my body is starting to look girly. I love how I feel when I take them and don't want to quit, but I don't know what they are going to do to my body.

First off, never take some one else's medication. You can do yourself severe harm.

Go to your doctor about this problem. Maybe they can prescribe you a medication to make you feel better without overdosing yourself on estrogen.

The male body is not meant to take on large amounts of estrogen. Estrogen is a female hormone. You are probably looking girly because the estrogen is overtaking any testosterone in your body. Testosterone is a male hormone.

Like I said, go to the doctor. The sooner the better.

what was the period in time when alcohol was illegal, like entirely. THIS IS NOT a homework question. we were just discussing it in class and i was just wondering if anyone knew when it was or anything about it. thank you.

It was called Alcohol Prohibition.

Here you go. This link is the history.

http://www.druglibrary.org/Schaffer/LIBRARY/studies/nc/nc2a.htm

so ive heard about this teenfreeway.com wesite. im just wondering, do you have to pay for anything when it gets to you? and is it totally free? can you really get money for taking surveys?

ive also heard about this sunsilk anti-proof 24/7 cremee. does it really straighten your hair? EVEN IF YOUR HAIR IS CURLY!?

third question is.. what product or what can i do to make my hair bouncy? like not so FLAAAAAT. kk thanksss

I can answer one question without a doubt.

No shampoo or conditioner will make your hair straight with no work. Not unless some magic product has come out since I last bought shampoo.

You can buy them to help keep your hair straight throughout the day and make it a little easier to straighten, but you still have to do the processing.

It would be nice if they could make something to eliminate that work, but that won't probably happen until the year 2056. :D

Beauty takes work. Always has been that way, probably always will be.

Okay, I have a sweet 16 this Sunday and I need help getting rid of my hips. Please don't tell me that I should be happy with my body because nobody is and I just wish that my stomach and hips could be smaller. Is there any way I can excersise without machines to shrink my hips in about 3 days?

The only thing I'm going to say is that it is downright impossible to shrink your hips in 3 days, no matter how hard you work at it.

Losing weight takes work, time, and patience.

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