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MY MOM AND SHOPPING
I am 51, my mom is 80. How do I handle her when we go shopping and she starts to lecture me that I am spending too much money and I really dont need to buy any more clothes unless I see something special. You see I get angry and say how dare she make comments and tell me what to do and how to do it and what to buy. HELP
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I didn't read the other answers, but I know all about people that are the age of your Mother. They lived through the depression years and want to be very spend thrifty--they can "never" afford something, even if they can. So on one side they may know they have the money to spend and on the other side feel guilty if it is something they don't really need. Ever heard the saying "waste not and want not" just impress to your Mom that your purchase is good quality and will save you money in the long run, she might accept that and drop it, but if she doesn't buy it anyway, and don't say anything else. As my own later 70s mother tried to do to me today--don't let your Mom put a guilt trip on you. Times have changed and we do appreciate what they lived through, but thank goodness we don't have to live like they did!
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Okay, when she lectures you, kindly let her know that you will do things your way, as she does things her way.
Do you have anybody who depends on your money other than yourself? If not, then you should just buy all the clothes your heart desires as long as you don't put yourself into debt over it. You have lived 51 years, and I'm sure you know by now what is best for you.
Don't get nasty or rude with her about it. It isn't worth fighting over, for certain. That, and since she is your mother, she is probably just trying to advise you to do the right thing. But that doesn't mean you have to take her advice.
She is 80 and was raised in a completely different time than you or I. She was born in the 30's and lived during the depression, so she was raised with only buying what you need to get by, and not what you want. That is something you nor she can ever change. So keep that in mind when she says these things to you. Her advice and the things she says are based on her own life experiences.
As for the red sweater you want, she may have said it wasn't there anymore in order to keep you from buying it, based on how she feels about your purchasing. Go check it out for yourself. If you want it, get it.
The best thing I can say is don't get angry with her. Don't lose your temper. Don't write her a letter. I know that is VERY hard to do, but none of it is worth it. She won't change her ways and neither will you. It's just something you have to accept.
Just let it go. When she tells you how to do things, just say something like "Thanks for your advice, Mom, I shall take it into consideration" and do what YOU think is best for YOU.
Your mom is 80 years old. She won't be around forever. You have to keep that in mind. You don't want to have bad blood with her or hard feelings towards her. She may only be here for another year or two, depending on her health. Once she is gone, you can't take back hurtful things you said, and you will feel bad. That's why I say fighting with her and getting angry with her isn't worth it.
Do what you want. If you want a new skirt, go get it. If she don't like it, big deal. That's her opinion. Don't let the things she says get to you. Let it roll off like water on a duck's back.
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have you ever considered going shopping by your self.if you cant then ignore her i know its aggravating but she cant control your haands so just go about what your doing like you dont hear her. its not like she can physically stop you.
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You've come a short way, baby!
Just leave her gabbing while you go to the dressing room and cashier, as if you can't hear a word she says. When you buy into a conversation like that with "How dare you..." you are taking yourself back to high school, where this probably all started.
As an adult, you don't have to stand there and listen to her, even if she is your mom.
Don't worry about breaking any Commandments here. You will honor her more by not letting things degenerate into a "scene". Good luck! gigi
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Control your temper. Just INFORM her you are over 21 and will buy what you like, same as she can. Don't argue with her at all. Just state the fact and ignore her if she keeps baiting you.
She probably isn't going to change her ways at her age. You don't have to play however. :)
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