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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Hey!
Are there any sites like ebay where there is no shipping cost, or hardly any at all??
I love to shop online but I really HATE shipping costs.
Because there was this one site where I found a necklace which was 10 cents but the shipping costs were nine dollars...thats a kinda huge difference form the price itself....
Thank you!
The Answer
It costs money to ship stuff to people. It just does.
No store can change this. Moving objects across the country, or ocean, takes time, many people and many vehicles, so it costs money. The only thing some places will do is build the shipping costs into the price of the object (making it more expensive). But few places will do that, because many customers are annoyed by it. Most people want to know how much the object costs, and how much the shipping costs.
Until the teleportation device is invented, your only real option is to buy from normal stores in person, or at least from online from local sites. Places that are closer to you will charge less in shipping. I’ve even found places online that I loved that were in my hometown, and arranged to go pick up things instead of having them mailed.
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The Question
Okay so im flirting with this guy and i have a strict rule on smoking/tobacco and all that. Well he does dip sometimes and i think thats the grossest out of all of them. I dont want to have a long relationship with this guy i kind of just want to go out with him for a week or two so other guys notice me. You all know how once you cant have them you want them more. Well that happened a couple years ago and i want guys to notice me more. Im not ugly though. Im 15; Cheer captain; Skinny; Long blonde hair and Blue eyes. Im not gonna makeout with this guy cuz that just grosses me out knowing i could have some kind of tobacco disease from him. Anyways do you think this is wrong; should go out with him at all?
The Answer
It's wrong to use anybody purely to boost your own ego.
How would you feel if some guy dated you for a few weeks, just so other girls would notice him?
I bet you'd think he's a scum bag.
Don't do it.
I've never heard of any illness you could get from someone because they smoked tabbacco. It's just gross is all. And it's as a good a reason as any to not kiss someone.
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The Question
So im going to sound very naiive, but im 20/f and hes 24/m. He is my boyfriend of over a year and i lost my virginity to him a couple of months ago. But, sex takes less than 25 minutes. usually less, bc foreplay is for liek 5-8 minutes, so then sex is only like 15 minutes long. Im pretty sure somethings wrong. he stops, not me. so he comes and stops, but i cant really orgasm yet because i feel like its really short. can other people tell me how long sex takes, because idk if he has a problem or if i just want him to keep going haha. thank you!
The Answer
TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS.
Sex can take five hours.
Sex can take five minuttes.
Both situations are totally natural and normal.
It's about choice, and about what each person likes.
In order for your boyfriend to do what you like, you are going to have tell him what that is.
So think about it. Really, think about it, before you talk about it. Think about what you'd like to do, what parts of foreplay you'd like to take longer. Think about what positions you really enjoy. Think about what sort of fantasies are things you really like.
Then talk to him about it.
There is no physical problem with 15 minutes of sexual intercourse. Some guys can't last even that long. There is nothing wrong with his body.
The only thing you two are doing wrong, is not talking about what you are doing ;)
The problem, is that you aren't getting what you want and need. That is a problem you are going to have to take some ownership of, start talking to him about, and bring some ideas to the table.
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The Question
what are some ways, to increase a female's sex drive without using ky gel or any other product?
The Answer
Sex drive is different from lubrication. I’m not certainly which one in your problem here.
The sex drive is about your level of desire. Lubrication doesn’t necessarily have to with your desire. A female might want sex, but have difficulty being naturally lubricated enough to enjoy it, just the way a man might want sex, but have physical difficulty remaining erect.
Wanting more sex, or wanting sex more, won’t necessarily make you more naturally lubricated. It might, but it might not. Everyone’s body is different, and every body has its own natural limitations and quirks.
Taking your time, engaging in more foreplay, and other sexual activities that are NOT penetration beforehand might help. Talking to your partner about what really gets you going, will always help sex be better. But fundamentally, lube is a good thing for women. There are hundreds of brands out there for you to try. If you have the drive (the desire) to have sex, but physically have difficulty staying wet, then make the investment in time and money to find a product you like.
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The Question
My nana was a schizophrenic and recently passed away. She developed symptoms of it when she was married, which lead to her divorce from my grandfather. Schizophrenia is genetic and my family was scared that my sister was showing signs of having it. She was diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder at age 6 and with proper medication, she's doing fine now (she's 9). Sometimes I get scared that I'm showing signs of having schizophrenia and if not that then some other sort of disorder. I have a horrible anger problem that my family has threated to send me to counselling for, I have been getting panic attacks more often and I've been secretly dealing with bulimia. The reason why I think I may be showing signs of schizophrenia is because before I fall asleep, I will hear voices. Last night right as I was about to fall asleep I heard a girl voice (it was in my head) and it woke me up but it didn't scare me. This has been happeneing more often when I know for a fact that I'm not asleep yet. Usually it's the voices of multiple people but I can't hear anything they say (its cloudy). They sound like they're in my head or right next to my bed. It's always right before I fall asleep. It doesn't just happen at home either. I'll be out sometimes and fall asleep (say at school, on the bus ride, etc) and it will happen. I know it's not anyone around me either because its literally right next to my head (no one is close to me). I just realized how strange it is that I'm hearing these things. It's never gone further than it just startling me/waking me up. Has anyone ever experienced this? I know I need to talk to a professional about this, I just wanted someone's opinion on it. Thank you.
The Answer
There is not much reason to worry about being schizophrenic.
You shouldn’t concern yourself about hearing voices when you are very tired, almost asleep, or only just awake.
Hearing auditory hallucinations is actually amazingly common. In 1983 a study showed that 70% of people admitted to hearing voices at least once in their lives. Hearing voices during waking up or directly before sleep were recorded by 40% of the study participants.
So what you are describing is very common, but the thing that tells you that you are not crazy, is that you are worried you might be crazy. People who are schizophrenic experience a lot of doubt and confusion about whether the voices are real or not. You know they aren’t real.
But these sorts of experiences are more common when you are under stress and not taking care of yourself.
What you are experiencing is a breakdown of healthy functioning under physical and mental stress.
Go to counselling for your anger, panic and bulimia. These things are wearing your body down, destroying it slowly, and your mind is part of your body. If you don't give your body what it needs to function properly, then you aren't giving your brain what it needs to function either.
This is just another symptom of you putting your body in through hell. You need help to get your other issues under control, or you’ll find more and more that your mind and body will betray you and act against you. You are probably not schizophrenic, based on what you said here, but you are mentally ill, and you need help. Your mind and body are beginning to scream out for that help.
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The Question
I'm a girl in my 20's. So I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 year. I've always been really reserved and quiet. I'm coming out of my shell alot with him. On Halloween, we went to a club. My boyfriend, my best friend(girl whois bisexual) and I. we all were pRetty drunk and sat at a bar table inthe corner. My best friend goes to the bathroom. My boyfriend convinces me to take off my thong and giveit to him under the table...so I was drunk, and I did. As soon as she comes back, he shows her and she gets all mad ish that I did that. So I get super embarressed, put them back on. That night she went home and we haven't spoken since. Should I be the one to call her?! Or her me? I don't know what to dooo . I didn't do anything wrong... Did I?
The Answer
Call her in and apologize.
Your boyfriend owes her an apology as well.
Giving him your thong wasn't wrong, but showing them to her was very rude. You should have kept that behavoir private between the two of you. She also probably already felt a bit like a third wheel out with you and your boyfriend, and that made it far worse.
Apologise for making her uncomfortable. A good friend deserves that much kindness. Her being bisexual has nothing at all to do with this question, ANY friend would deserve more courtsey then you and your boyfriend showed that night, and an apology now.
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The Question
my boyfriend is 20 and I'm 16, what are the laws about this in idaho? also what if he got me pregnant?
The Answer
He can be charged with statutory rape if he has any sexual contact with you.
At sixteen in Idaho, you are able to consent to sexual activity with anyone up to the age of 18. Over 18, and it's legally considered rape.
If they two of you get pregnant togeather, that is not only illegal and they are very happy and ready to charge people in Idaho, it's also amazingly irresponsible and careless.
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The Question
My sister is 18 years old. I'm 22 years old and recently moved back with my family after college.
She is ruining our lives. We live in a small apartment (It's me, her, my mom, and my brother). Everyday she creates a mess. There are clothes everywhere. She saves trash for some odd reason, which has caused a rat to come inside. I went into our closet and found rat poo everywhere because she had saved old food in there. She was supposed to go to college, but she lied about getting a scholarship there. They wanted us to pay $5,000, which we couldn't afford because we didn't know. We really want her to leave. I'm doubtful she will go to college. She steals stuff from me and my mother. I have things my friends gave me that she destroyed. She totally destroyed an expensive Chanel bag someone gave her. My grandmother passed away and left us a blanket she made, she destroyed that.
The biggest problem is she doesn't realize what she is doing wrong. She thinks she is doing nothing wrong. She gets mad and me and my mother, if we throw her trash away. She really makes everyone in out home mad. She constantly starts fights. We are perfectly happy when she is not home.
We don't know what to do. She won't leave, we can't force her to live on the street. People think she's nice, but they don't realize how much she has ruined our life.
The Answer
Your sister is mentally ill.
I'm surprised no one else here has said it.
She's not just stubborn or stupid, she's sick. Very sick. Hoarding and lying and destroying things without understanding why these things are problems... that's not difficult or bitchy, that's plain old mentally ill. The brain isn't working correctly. She needs help.
Throwing her out on the streets is certainly not going to help her any. She's already proven she is completely incapable of taking care of herself. She'll suffer, and eventually die, because she is too ill to do anything else.
Try to change your thinking about her. Yes, she needs to change, and yes, it's miserable to be around her most of the time. But remember that she is sick, so sick that she can't do any better yet. Your family needs to at least TRY to help her get well, before you can expect her to learn that her behavoir is a problem, and to improve it.
Find a counselor, find support for families struggingly with mental illness. There are lots of groups out there with advice and support for you and your mom, and for her too. It's the only chance you have, and probably the only chance she has, to get any better.
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The Question
Is there any place that I can see a photo or a picture of Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, the 39-year-old from Virginia who opened fire on the other army personnel at Fort Hood Army post (Thursday, November 05, 2009)? I'm interested in seeing what this guy looks like. Somebody told me that his name sounded like an Arab or Muslim but I don't want to make those assumptions. So, does anybody know any links to view Major Nidal Malik Hasan at?
The Answer
He is a Muslim, although his ethnicity hasn't been mentioned that I've seen. He is American, born and raised. There is a picture of him accompanying this article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fort_hood_shooting_suspect
Regardless of race, or religion, it's still a bit early to be rushing to conclusions on his motivation. He is still alive, so the public will likely hear, in time, his own words for his own reasons.
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The Question
Ok My ex and I are talking about getting back to gether, she loves that I can give her orgasms but yesterday when I was being funny I pulled it out and she compared it to her bfs. she was like I thought u were bigger, well u must b fatter and hes longer. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BIGGER.
its about... 6in but when really turned on and hard its about 6.5in. and diameter is 2 inchs and the circumference is like 6 inchs. I wanna be longer please tellme how
The Answer
This is why you NEVER EVER ASK A GIRL THAT.
You can't do anything to make it bigger or longer. Nothing. If there was something you could do to make it bigger, every guy would know it, and every man on the planet would be walking around with foot long dicks as thick as baseball bats.
They aren't, because there isn't.
Now try to forget about it and NEVER, EVER as a girl that question agian unless you enjoy feelings like shit.
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The Question
what do people mean when they say "i am my own person"? how can you be someone else's?
The Answer
Haven't you ever felt like you weren't 'your own'? Like you didn't belong to yourself?
Hasn't a parent, or a friend or a teacher ever said something or pressured you into something and thought later "I did it 'cause they made me. I wasn't ME. The person I am wouldn't do, or say, or choose like that."
That's what the phrase is talking about. It's talking about not letting your will be taken over by someone else.
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The Question
Okay so I really liked this guy Kris and everything was really going well. We went out on several dates and we were like going to end up a couple in the future like no doubt. We basically were. Anyways so I'm the new girl at my school and like ALL the guys are so interested in me and it's kinda creepy. I'm not trying to sound stuck up or self absorbed or anything but it's true. Like I know I'm pretty but NOT that pretty to have my facebook blow up filled with 4329840938049301 friend requests from boys. Anyways so I was talking to Kris the other day and he was like hey can we talk on the phone I gotta go in a few minutes (facebook). I'm like oh sorry I'm 3 way chatting with so and so (all boys) and he immediately got very protective and jealous because apparently I was explaining to him in great detail what my conversation with them was about (HE asked about it!) so then he was like whatever bye. Then I'm like aw :( I feel bad BUT THEN not long after I find out he's been extremely flirting with this stupid freshman and she's not even pretty or semi pretty. Anyways I heard they went out on a date and crap afterwards. I was pretty pissed and I talked to him about it and he's like oh I'm so so so sorry I did it because I was depressed by what you did WTF. Then I was like BYE.
WOULD YOU TAKE HIM BACK AFTER WHAT HE DID?! Oh btw I wasn't even flirting with the guys on the phone AT ALL even though they're pretty cute.
The Answer
You are both being really immature about this.
If you really liked this guy, you could have been a bit clearer on that with him, instead of testing how he'd react if you were too busy with other guys to talk to him.
A simple "I'd rather talk to you, but I think it would be rude to end my FB conversations right now. I'll see you tomorrow!" could have been all it took. You didn't need to NOT talk to them, this guy you really liked just needed a bit of encouragement to feel secure in your 'really like'ing of him.
You can't really 'take him back' cause he was never actually yours in the first place. Don't pretend you have ownership over a guy you weren't a couple with yet. He was free to date.
If you don't want to be with him, then don't be. If you do, you need to tell him so. This is the sort of thing that happens when you keep a guy, or a girl, dangling too long, without defining your relationship.
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The Question
im in a LDR. me and him have been having problems for the last two weeks and nothing seems to be getting better.
ill admit ive broken up with him alot, but alot has been out of anger and me being sad because he acts like he doesnt care.
most of the problems are because of him
and i always seem be getting the blame for it.
he has barely talked to me in the past week
and last saturday through monday he didnt talk to me becuase he "lost his phone at his friends house" i guess i believe that but i dont really know.
the whole distance thing is really hard on me but i love him so im going to deal with it because of that.
we have been fighting for the past two weeks. and ive told him soo many times that im sorry for breaking up with him like three times.
yesterday we were talking while i was at lunch for school and he said that i could send him pictures (if you know what kind i mean haha) and we could be even. so he told me he would tell me later that day what kinds he wants. later that night while he was at work i texted him and told him to text me or call me after work. he never did. and ive told him the same thing for the past three days. he never has.
when are relationship was good, he used to call me every night after work and we would fall asleep together on the phone. that hasnt happened in forever.
i miss everything so much. and i told him that yesterday when we were talking and he told me he doesnt believe me. ive never done anything for him to not trust me. all the stress on our relationship is because of him and i dont htink he gets that. he keeps blaming it on me and im not doing anything. if anything im caring too much and its making me so emotional. and if i ever tell him how i feel i like say the brutal truth and somehow it always ends up with us fighting and him getting mad at me. we never used to fight.
anyways. my point is, ive texted him so many times today and i havent gotten one text back. i dont know what to do. he told me he wants to be with me but he doesnt know what to do casue he is tired of me breaking up with him adn him getting hurt. i dont believe that though. hes never told me ive hurt him. and i think all of this blaming everything on me is a way of trying to tell me he doesnt want me anymore. and he told me we could talk for a while and then he could make his decision but were not together. right when i saw that i thought, yeah i know why. so you could hook up with other girls.
he wont text me back at all and i would call him but im pretty sure hes at work. i really want to call him tonight if he doesnt text me back but he works some weird hours so i dont want to call him whle hes at work. but i feel like im annoying if i always call and text him. i would spill my heart out in a text but i know im wasting my time becuase theres like a 2 percent chance he will text me back. he has changed so much and ive told him that and of course he got mad at me for saying that. he never used to be like that.
this is making me really sad and this guy means the world to me and i love him so much.
someone PLEASE tell me waht to do!
The Answer
Stop getting back togeather with him.
You clearly can't give eachother what you need. Stop trying to make it his fault, and stop trying to make it change. Stop assuming you can read his mind. Stop assuming, Stop judging, stop hurting him and stop allowing yourself to be hurt.
You are bad for eachother. Break up one last time, for good.
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The Question
I was talking to my friends and one of them asked me if i was a liberal or a conservative. We were talking about elections so i figured it was like asking if i was a democrat or not but i wasn't sure so I just kinda said I had to run and I didn't answer. can you please help me?
Thank you!
The Answer
Liberal and Conservative are political philosophies or ideologies.
Democrat and Republican are political parties.
Most parties have a particular political philosophy which they all support. That is what ties them together.
So the Democrats favor liberalism, and Republicans favor conservatism.
Conservatism is a political philosophy that necessitates a defense of established values or the status quo. Think of the word conserve, it means to safe guard, to protect, to maintain. Conservatism is rooted in preserve existing conditions and institutions or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.
Liberalism holds that liberty is the most important thing. Generally, it emphasizes individual rights, freedom of thought, limitations of government power and religious power, and reform to the traditions if those traditions restrict freedom needlessly.
Now these two things might not sound exactly like the Republicans and Democrats to you. That's because political parties pay attention to different parts of these philosophies, and people sometimes disagree about how to best serve the philosophies.
So basically, in the US, the Democrats are the Liberals and the Republicans are the Conservatives.
But remember this: Many, many countries have more then two political parties, and they can be more or less conservative or liberal. The Liberals here in my country, Canada, would hardly recognize an American liberal as one of their own. Even Obama would have trouble selling himself as a liberal in Canada, he's not 'liberal enough' for our liberal party and most Republicans would be laughed out of the Conservative party in here in Canada: We are far too secular and have a much greater percentage of people practicing other religions, so that much God talk doesn't work with us at the federal level. And, we have three other political parties, besides the Liberals and Conservatives who also have different views on these philosophies and they way they promote them.
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The Question
Wyoming, 18
Lately I have been issues with friends. I seem to constantly put myself in groups of friends with 3's. What usually happens is I'll be best friends with a girl, then another girl will come along, and then its a tug-a-war! For example, my best friend Alyssa is now living with a recent ex-best friend of mine - but since I have made it clear that i am not a fan of my ex- best friend, Alyssa has been not inviting me places, and becoming such great friends with my old one. Another example is I became friends with Callie who had a good friend - i wouldn't call them best friends - Sam. Callie was friends with Sam, but I started to get closer with Sam but still maintaining a best friend relationship with Callie. Then Callie and I got into a huge fight and yet again I was in the same situation fighting over Sam. Sam is stuck in the middle all the time, but she manages it well, unlike Alyssa. What am I doing wrong? I dont want to be exclusively friends with one girl and tell everyone else they can't be friends with us - and I do want to open the friendship up to other people but I'm still afraid people will steal them away. I mean - why do people steal friends? Is it a hobby? Do they see it as fun? Like wth? I dont know what to do. I like to learn from my mistakes and am obviously not getting the picture in this instance since its happening over and over again.
Please help. thanks alot!
- Holly
P.S. i have a reputation of being sincere. Like, I am a firm believer in not being fake, I am not going to act like I like you if I dont. That just doesn't fly with me.
The Answer
The only problem here is that you aren’t coping well with something that is normal. You are clinging to the Best Friend idea and the stealing people myth.
You are getting to a point in life where you are going to have let go of those ideas, and accept a bit more ambiguous and loose definition.
The best friend idea isn't necessarily a bad one, but it's also not very practical to put too much stock into it after your done high school. My best friends from High school and from University and I now don't talk too terribly often. We live in different cities, one of them has a child, and it’s tough to do what 'best friends' used to do when our lives are so different and far apart. But I don't love them any less. Now I have many friends, from work and classes I’ve taken and hobbies I’ve got, old roommates and new ones... I don’t feel I need to determine or find a ‘best friend’ among them. They are all great people who I have different kinds of connections with at different times.
People come and go out of lives for reasons we often can't control: New jobs, new apartments, new partners, new schools, even new values or new ideas! Some of the changes will mean a friend shifts or falls away. Some of these changes will bring friends closer! Some of them will be more serious breaches that end friendships in unpleasant ways, but it DOESN'T mean the friendship wasn't there to begin with. And it certainly doesn’t mean someone got stolen.
People don’t get stolen. (Well, except for the odd kidnapping case).
They change, evolve and move on. And if a person doesn’t want to change, evolve or move on, then they DON’T. If someone is no longer in your life, it’s because they made that choice. Just the same way if you are no longer in someone’s life, you made that choice.
So don’t beat yourself up if other people choose not to be as close to you anymore, or if you choose not to be as close to some other people as before. It’s a normal part of life. It’s especially normal in your late teens and early twenties, when everyone’s life is changing so fast and people are figuring out how they want to live, and who they want to live with.
Stop worrying, stop fighting and perhaps, stop calling people your ‘best friend’. Cultivate many friendships and let the chips fall where they may without taking it personally. Go many places and do many things with different people. If someone else feels torn between you and another person, don’t feed into that silliness. Just say “Look, I like you and want to hang out with you. Let’s just do that as much as we are able to and like too.”
That is all a friendship is, even a best friendship. So don’t layer a whole bunch more expectations on top of it. Let it be people who enjoy one another’s company seeking one another’s company, and avoiding the company of those they do not enjoy.
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The Question
Okay so the topic is: "ask and answer the one question you wish we had asked." it is very hard to incorporate the question into my essay without making it sound unappealing. I wrote this for my second paragraph:
I wish the question “What are your career goals for after college?” had been asked. I believe this is a very important question to be asked because it explains my reason for wanting to be in college. Having goals and expectations are very beneficial to my future. There are many people who go to college unaware of their major; I think it is very essential to know what I plan to do. I will be able to keep myself focused on my goals and know what work I will have to accomplish in order to take on the career I intend to pursue.
I feel like i sound to cocky and sort of rude to others who are undecided about their major. Does anyone else get that kind of feeling when they read this paragraph? or do you think it's okay to incorporate into my essay?
The Answer
Nopes. Definitely not okay, not because it's cocky, it's about as cocky as it ought to be, but because it's unfocused and you don't actually give them the ANWSER the question you say you wish you were asked. You imply the answer! But you don’t actually answer.
Try an approach more like this:
I wish the question “What are your career goals for after college?” had been asked because it would have given me a chance to speak to my long-term plans, and my dedication to those ambitions.
My long terms goal ARE… and list ‘em.
Going to this college will help me achieve these goals BEACAUSE… school reputation? Final projects? Internships? Whatever things really stand out about the program you are applying for, let them know you think that is what will really help you along.
Having these long-term goals makes me a desirable student BECAUSE... your paragraph already does this part, but make it tighter and shorter.
IMPORTANT! READ:
If you feel that you have already spelled out what your long-term goals are, and why having this focus and specificity is a good thing other places in your essay, then you should come up with a different question that you wish they had asked.
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The Question
ok not really. he is my frist boyfriend and well i know he likes me alot and stuff. but what if like i know if he run in old freind if it woman and if i seen woman flarting or something. what can do show he is mine! plus even they might not relize he with me you know?
The Answer
Chill out.
It's your boyfriends job, not yours, to let girls know he's not on the market.
If he doesn't do that, and lets girls flirt too seriously with him without smiling and introducing you as his girlfriend or shutting thier flirting down, then you talk to HIM about it.
Don't be a catty bitch. Nobody likes those girls, and very few guys want to date them. Expect your boyfriend to behave and be gracious with other women. Help him figure it out how to do that if he doesn't get it. No one can 'steal' a person who doesn't want to be stollen, not ever.
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The Question
So I was watching that movie today ^ And Joel made the best point ever that I've been trying to put into words for myself for the longest time. He was writing in his journal and asked himself "Why is it that I fall in love with every girl that shows me the slightest bit of attention?" This statement is true for me as well, -except for me, its boys, but you get the idea. So I've been wondering the same thing,but when it comes down to it I just honestly don't know. So I'm kind of hoping you guys know the answer? I'm stumped, but it happens to me often. Does anyone know why? Or is this just the poetic version of a pathetic question hopeless romantics ask themselves everyday? How do I change? Ah.. thanks.
The Answer
Lack of experience and low self worth.
It's basically one, or both, of those two things.
A lack of experience means you don't understand exactly what qualifies a person as a partner for you. You don't have a lot of dealbreakers, or things you've learned are unattrative to you in a person, even if that person is still a good one, just not for you rommantically.
You don't know what you want yet, so you don't know what you DON'T want yet. It's a good thing, in some ways, to not have a whole bunch of silly standards, but it also means you don't think too seriously if you are actually interested in them, when they start showing interest in you.
The other bit is low self worth. If you don't believe, deep down, that you are lovable and desirable, whenever someone shows you, even for a second, that you are, you'll latch right on to them! Because you don't believe that anyone can you see that way, you feel soooo lucky that one person does, that you invest completely in that one person, instead of realizing that MANY people could feel that way about you. That you are worthy of love, and that you are in a position to choose from the many people you might find attrative, rather then have to be so grateful for being chossen.
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The Question
I asked a question on the fashion and styles area, and I got an answer from DangerNerd.
They told me that you were into theater, so you might be of some help.
You see, I was watching Mika's video for We Are Golden (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WknXCcVThI) and basically fell in love with the entire shoe collection.
Here are some screenshots:
http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj85/GhoulOnParade/wearegolden.jpg
http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj85/GhoulOnParade/shoes.jpg
http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj85/GhoulOnParade/mika.jpg
There were also some shoes I saw him wearing live when I saw him in concert, they were white high-top converse..but they had rhinestones all over them.
And I fell in love with them.
Anyways, DangerNerd told me that you might be able to point me towards somewhere where I could find shoes like that since they are very costumey, or give me a good starting point for making my own?
Any help would be fantastic.
Thank you. :)
The Answer
You could do some digging, and try to find out who was Mika's stylist for this video. If you found the name, you could track them down to find out exactly where the shoes came from.
You could also try his website at http://www.mikasounds.com/ ask people at the forums there, they might be able to help you...
But I'm with DN on this, they were likely custom made for him.
Making shoes isn't easy. At all. You pretty much need some serious sewing experience to make shoes from scratch, and it can get really expensive really fast.
But frankly, you can also pick up cheep shoes shapped like those at a lot of store right now. Everything else you need to make them can be bought at Micheals Arts and Crafts stores, or a similar place. If you want step by step advice for attaching rinestones to clothing, send me another question, cause that is another beast all togeather.
However, if you want to make something similar, in the easist way possible, you can make SPATS pretty quick. And if you get a simple, cheap shoe, this can really dress em up. I actually have spats for a whole bunch of my boots, to match my winter jackets or favorite dresses.
Here is an idea of what spats look like (obviously you wants yours to be a different style but this is the basic idea):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/halfwaythere/2854014753/in/set-72157607011902778/
And here is a link to a pretty damn good pattern you can print off at home for them: http://www.thankyoufornotbeingperky.com/?p=287
The kind of shiny fabric you might want, is all on Sale now! 'Cause halloween is just over ;). So it's a good time to invest in some. You'll need someone with some basic sewing skills to help you out.
I hope this gives you some pointers. Asking at his fan page might be a good move too.
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The Question
so I am a girl and I was with my first girlfriend. Well other things goin on caused us to break up but after we did we both felt awful so we went out to a bar for halloween an dI realized why I fell for her. We got back together and want to change things then before well my mom knows I was with another girl she thinks it was just a phase and doesnt see that "lifestyle" for me. I wanna tell her we are back together but what should I do?
The Answer
Just tell her.
You know that your mother has many good reasons to worry about you. This relationship hasn't been going wonderfully for a little while now. You are going to have to prove to your mother that this is what you want from life, and that means working on the relationship to make it stable and respectful.
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