Okay so the topic is: "ask and answer the one question you wish we had asked." it is very hard to incorporate the question into my essay without making it sound unappealing. I wrote this for my second paragraph:
I wish the question “What are your career goals for after college?” had been asked. I believe this is a very important question to be asked because it explains my reason for wanting to be in college. Having goals and expectations are very beneficial to my future. There are many people who go to college unaware of their major; I think it is very essential to know what I plan to do. I will be able to keep myself focused on my goals and know what work I will have to accomplish in order to take on the career I intend to pursue.
I feel like i sound to cocky and sort of rude to others who are undecided about their major. Does anyone else get that kind of feeling when they read this paragraph? or do you think it's okay to incorporate into my essay?
S_C answered Wednesday November 4 2009, 10:38 am: In all honesty, your answer isn't good. It's not all that cocky... I also don't think a university is a place for people who don't know what they want to do - that's what a community college is for - cheaper & helps you figure things out.
Anyway, your answer is no good because you never answer the question. You don't ever say WHAT your post-college plans are. You just say you think undecided majors are useless.
Razhie answered Tuesday November 3 2009, 10:30 pm: Nopes. Definitely not okay, not because it's cocky, it's about as cocky as it ought to be, but because it's unfocused and you don't actually give them the ANWSER the question you say you wish you were asked. You imply the answer! But you don’t actually answer.
Try an approach more like this:
I wish the question “What are your career goals for after college?” had been asked because it would have given me a chance to speak to my long-term plans, and my dedication to those ambitions.
My long terms goal ARE… and list ‘em.
Going to this college will help me achieve these goals BEACAUSE… school reputation? Final projects? Internships? Whatever things really stand out about the program you are applying for, let them know you think that is what will really help you along.
Having these long-term goals makes me a desirable student BECAUSE... your paragraph already does this part, but make it tighter and shorter.
If you feel that you have already spelled out what your long-term goals are, and why having this focus and specificity is a good thing other places in your essay, then you should come up with a different question that you wish they had asked. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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