Member Since:
February 13, 2007Answers:
449Last Update:
January 2, 2012Visitors:
30599Favorite Columnists
Razhie
orphans
HectorJr
Daimeera
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
View All
about
I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
16/f
i know this kid who's really sweet. he's skater and he smokes cigarettes and pot and he drinks like every weekend. he's really nice to me and makes an effort to talk to me even if it's about something stupid. for example, if he was absent he'll ask me what we did in class even though i know he doesn't care what we did. he says he's going to try to stop smoking pot but he hasn't done it yet. personally i don't like smokers. i don't want to "kiss an ashtray" but he is really sweet and i heard he might like me from a friend of his. so do i make an effort and forget about the bad things and just have a relationship with him or is it just too many bad things to ignore?
It's all about what YOU feel comfortable with. Smoking cigarettes and pot and drinking every weekend may not be a problem to some (it is pretty common at 16), however if it is going to be a problem to you, you shouldn't ignore this because to others it wouldn't be a big deal. If this is his lifestyle, he probably won't change it for you. You can't expect him to; this only puts strain on the relationship, and will likely be frustrating for the both of you.
Just because he may like you, and you may like him, does not mean that you should act on it. Not in any case! If it bugs you that he has different values than you do, or if the things you normally do to hang out are radically different, it is perfectly okay to distance yourself from that person. It isn't being a prude; it's being smart, and avoiding future frustration for the both of you. Being different in these ways may cause you to disdain him, consciously or unconsciously, and it may be harder for you to be able to fit into his life if his main social activity is drinking and getting high.
Look at him honestly and decide if he is worth it, to you. I can't be the one to tell you what you are willing to "put up" with, but as someone giving the advice, I'd say to wait for someone that won't make you doubt them and won't make you uneasy about whether or not you can agree with their behavior. You are so much more worth it.
Oh, and as a side note. If he convinces you to go out with him by promising to give up all his bad habits (and this ends up being what wins you over), wait till he is totally clean and sober first.
hey i am 15/f and my friend robert and i are really close and we are such good friends. we both know we like eachother as more than friends, and we have hooked up before. but the thing is, when we hang out we usually dont end up kissing or anything cause we have such a friend and joking around relationship that it seems weird and we always just have a great time doing other stuff. what are some fun ways i can let him know i want him to kiss me, or even funny ways or things i could do to kiss him. or even ways to change the conversation casually to a more intesne one about like us or romantic based.
thanks! : ]
I can't tell you the magic words that you can say to Robert to ensure a romantic conversation or a kiss. That would be me programming you! But I'll try to give you some general direction.
1. Body language. Actions do speak louder than words, and a lot of what will encourage a guy to kiss you isn't really what you say. Lean into him, but also look slightly shy. Lean your head to one side, or bite your lip. Stay close to him and touch him, maybe not in an obvious way, but whatever's comfortable for the both of you. It's a bit of a balance. You don't want to go overboard until it's awkward, just keep it up to try to get him to look into your eyes as much as you can. You can try holding his hand, putting your arm around him, leaning into him, resting your head on his shoulder.
2. Be playful. It's all about having fun, and feeling good about what you are doing. Teasing him is a good way to keep the mood lighthearted - not mean spirited stuff so laugh and smile enough so that he knows you are kidding, and don't be afraid to do create excuses to touch him. Ei, he's eating a chocolate, he seems to be in a good mood, so you tease him by stealing the chocolate and leaning over so your faces just got accidentally really close and you are practically holding hands. Then pull away like you never meant to do that, so he feels the vibes of attraction from being close to you but at the same time can't have you and isn't sure if that was on purpose or not - drives guys nuts.
3. Smile. Big important one, in general. And just relax a lot, make jokes and laugh if he says something funny (though not like hahahhahaha fake laugh but you know, having a good time in each other's presence, laughing when you actually think he said something funny). Though I'm assuming you do this anyway so...
4. To bring it up, you could just take a moment to look into his eyes, or just act more serious for a moment, and see what happens. Make sure you are close to him. If you are close enough it often indicates you want to be kissed.
5. You could turn a joke into something more serious. For example, he never stops talking. To this, you could say "I know a way to shut you up." And kiss him. Or, if you go somewhere really pretty, you could say "It feels like something should happen here" and look really deep into his eyes. You could try stealing his chocolate, except don't use your hands, and try to grab it out of his hands with your mouth, when his hand is really close to his lips (that one was sortof a product of an overactive imagination). Or you could probably find much cheesier lines on the internet, I'm sure =P lol. The best things, however, probably come with the situation and some imagination.
6. Mood. If you are always going to busy places in the daytime full of lots of people, then the likelihood of romantic subjects and gestures is going to decrease. The best way to get in the mood is, however, probably to start off like this, so both of you are relaxed, but make sure there is more time while you are together, alone, when it is fairly dark. Yes, the darkness factor does sound random, but people often act differently at night in quiet places than during the day.
7. I'm a little unsure of your question, since you didn't mention if you are trying to start a relationship or if it's more casual than that (sounds more casual to me). It may be that Robert feels strange kissing you or acting more romantic because although he likes you you are technically friends. Somehow you need to mention the fact that you want to be more serious, straight up and honest. If you want to be in a relationship or if you want to start dating you should probably be extremely straight up and tell him this, or at least present the option in a way that you'll know he'll get it when you are, say, asking him out. Some good ways to do this are asking him to a dance, going to a movie/dinner (although they aren't the best dates, because they are more traditional the other person will get it that you are asking them out), or mentioning the word "date" when you ask him somewhere. Or, if he is truly your friend, the best option is probably to not worry so much about sounding cute or casual but just have the conversation.
(final point) I mean, honestly, it is ideal to have a non-awkward perfectly romantic introduction to a conversation that is deep and meaningful and ends in a passionate kiss, but you need to be a little realistic. The main thing isn't really how you have that conversation because the truth is, there is no real right way to do it. No matter how awkward it is the main important part is that you risked awkwardness, you took that jump. Whoever takes it will be admired for that, and he will not judge in any way how you do it (if he really does like you). If you have a great friendship, it is weird to suddenly pull out flowers. But while you don't have that element of surprise charming the other person, you do have the ability to talk to each other which can be interesting for relationship hopefuls who are not friends. So talk to him, and maybe say how you feel about him, and then you could just ask how he feels about you. And if that moment comes up when you just feel like kissing him - oh it will come up if you spend enough time alone together, just go right ahead and do it, all casual lead ins aside.
are decimals rational numbers?
If a decimal terminates or can be expressed as a fraction it is a rational number.
The person below me was mostly right (the one with the most detailed answer) however, if a number has a bunch of decimals with no pattern, but the decimals stop at some point, it is rational. Decimals that go on forever but have some sort of pattern are not necessarily rational. Root of two has a sort of pattern to it, but all numbers in a square root sign are irrational, same with certain numbers such as pi and E, and all imaginary numbers (you may start on this is grade eleven math). Most numbers that repeat for example 5.5555555(assuming this decimal never ends) are rational because they can be expressed as a fraction. For example, the above number was really 50/9 ((1/9) is 0.111111111111111111111111111), but not all numbers with a "pattern" are rational (just most).
An easy way to think of it is, whenever he question asks for an irrational answer, keep your pis and your square root signs =]
well thers this guy ive liked for about 3 years now we started out flirting alot, then last year he actually asked me Out & we were togeather for like 1 day then he broke up with me at school with a stupid little note. but then ever since then all last skool year he would tell his friends that he liked me sooo much & that i was beautiful. & he would send me texts saying that he lliked me again & saying really sweet things. now this year, i think he likes me but its that he'l be sweet one day then he'l talk about another girl the next day. he constantly staring at me. & he textd me yesterday "i think one day we r gonna have sex" & he also told me tht he always wanted to lose his virginity with me & he regrets loosing it to some other girl.. im really confused because i LOVE this guy. i need help on wether he likes me or if he just wants sex.. also i want to know if thiers any thing i should do to attract him a littile more :) pls helpp
He seems extremely inconsistent, or maybe just confused about how you feel about him. Either way, this guy is playing with you, and you shouldn't trust him unless some time goes by and he proves to you that you can.
If it's any help, most guys that tell you they want sex when you aren't dating or in a relationship, well those guys usually just want sex.
Distancing yourself from this guy probably isn't a bad idea. If you really, however, feel like you want to give him a chance, maybe invite him to hang out with you sometime, or hint that he should ask you. Make it somewhere outdoors, and view his behavior. Don't let him get physical with you or have sex with him just yet. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but you should really make sure that he loves you like you do first.
On what you can do to attract him a little more: it already sounds like you are on his mind enough, just focus your time on yourself until you are sure he is mature enough to handle it.
I know that you've heard these questions a million times, but each question is different in a small way.
I'm 15/f and school recently just started for me (freshman in high school... new school for me). It started out about 2 weeks ago when in one of my classes, we were getting quizzes back and I was still waiting for the teacher to call my name. Then I heard the teacher say this guys name. We will call him Blake in this story. So he stood up and went to claim his quiz, and when I looked at him... I was seriously like *whoa* he was so hot and I really like him. He's not like SUPER hot, like who always gets girls attention... but in my world he is hot. So I asked my friend if she knew him and she said yeah, he lives in her neighborhood. He plays hockey and during some days I kept an eye on him, just to see what he is like... and I found that he is really nice and always smiling and joking around. I really want to get to know him more.... I had a chance about 3 days ago because we were correcting papers and we had partners... my friend told me to go up to him and ask him to trade papers, but I got freaked out so i switched with another group. :(
I'm always thinking about him and I really want to get him to make the first move. My mom tells me that it's not appropriate for girls to make the first move, and I should let him start. So I've been a little flirty around him.. like laughing near him, sitting a few feet away from him, staring at him, whispering about him when he's a little far away.... etc.
Is there anything else I can do so that he will make the first move and notice me?
Oh and in class about 5 days ago, we were watching a movie and so there was this boring part and I was just looking at everyone else in the classroom, then I turn to look at blake, and he's looking at me, or at least I think he was. Oh and another time was that he was a few feet away from me and so some guy was talking to the person next to blake, and so I overheard and looked at the 2 guys having the conversation, then I looked at blake and he was looking at me. :) is this a sign?
To get this guy to notice you you should probably actually talk to him when you are checking him out, sitting a few seats behind him laughing really loudly. And whispering about him probably isn't the best way to attract a guy - I mean, it might make him feel uncomfortable to know that people are talking about him behind his back. It may confuse him, because you could easily be talking about him in a bad way, in his mind. The same goes for always following him around without saying anything to him. This is likely intimidating to him, instead of attractive.
Instead, be upfront. If you were trying to be FRIENDS with a guy you wouldn't go through the whole "Should I talk to him? Should I pretend to avoid him so he'll notice me?" dance. And I'm not sure what your mom was referring to but I'm pretty sure that it's okay to have conversations with guys. So talk to him. Say hi to him when you see him in the halls. Maybe ask him if he's good at hockey, and what position he plays. Try to be a friendly person, instead of the person randomly looking at him all of the time. Sure, sometimes this is alluring, but he's more likely to "make a move" or ask you out if he actually knows who you are.
And on making the "first move", there are so many first moves, first time you talk, first mutual smile, first eye contact, first date, first kiss. Guys aren't really capable of leading a two person relationship on their own, so go ahead, and figure out what works for you.
Mmm well I had this friend. (not my girlfriend, never intended her to be) She sits next to me in 1st period, and we're both on cross country together. and we used to run together and talk about things.
At first I thought she was really cool, we could connect very well, and talk about personal stuff. She invited me to go with her somewhere, and i thought it would be fun.
Well, a week before we were supposed to go out she told me she planned to go somewhere else with her newer friend (she liked him a bit). and it wasnt the fact that she wanted to go somewhere else instead of hanging out with me, but it was because she like completely forgot about me. i felt like one of those toys you really like, until you get the next coolest then and move on.
she started acting really irritated around me, and completely stopped talking to me 2 weeks. I still put an effort to be nice, I said hi, bye, asked how her day was, and tried to start conversations. but she was really short with me, and would often just walk off instead of saying bye.
one of her friends who is also my friend said she was annoyed because of my "in and out zones". the friend said it meant my happy and sad moments. but i have problems with that because my dad was clinically depressed, and my mom was on drugs when she was pregnant so it fucked with my head. and im also going through many, many, family and friend problems.
so it kinda felt like she was saying: fuck you, i dont care about your problems. i know i feel down a lot and sometimes i dont look very happy, but i try not to be rude, and i still remember my manners. and i was always willing to listen to her and talk. the only time im rude is when im just flirting/playing around with friends. i feel like my problems annoy her, and to be her friend i have to be happy all the time?
so we started off good friends, she was kind of rude when she blew me off, but i was still willing to be her friend, then she stopped talking. she started talking to me again. she thinks im an asshole apparently.
do i have the right to be angry at her? i say a few rude things, but i never intentionally mean to hurt anyone, i just fuck around a lot. i think a lot of guys do. and i always let my friends know im just messing around. its annoying, she was a good friend, we werent friends at all, now she wants to pick me up again like im a fucking book she got tired of reading and regained interest.
Did she get upset before or after you freaked out about her canceling plans? If it was after, it may have been that you overreacted when she decided to go out with another person instead of you. It's not the greatest when you get ditched for another person, but the best way to react to that isn't to get angry, it's to calmly explain to the person that canceled on you that you feel hurt by their decision, that now you feel upset. You can be angry, but saying "I'm a little mad" is a lot more acceptable and will help the person try to understand you and gain sympathy for you and your anger than if you come out and freak out on them.
I'm not really sure, even from all the information you put into this question, why she was mad. However, I do doubt that it is because you are clinically depressed and tell her things that you wouldn't necessarily tell other people. Telling people things generally makes a person feel closer to you. Even if you said something a little too personal, it would make her feel more awkward around you rather than angry or upset and it certainly wouldn't make her jump to the "asshole" conclusion.
It was most probably something you did that you forgot that is upsetting her. Something that may not be a big deal to you may matter to her. More likely, it is your anger over this whole thing. Even if there was something that originally made her upset at you, if you ever let her see one ounce of the anger in this post, I guarantee that that is the reason for everything going on between you right there. I'm not even involved in this situation, I don't even know who you are and you will probably never meet me but the intense emotions in this post scare me. I really hope that this is a private ranting and that you are a calmer person in real life, because you seem a little too hurt by her cancellation for the issue to be only about that.
Honestly, though, I think the only person who can really answer your question is the girl herself. Not her friends. Not me. Go up to her when she is in a good mood, preferably alone. Don't be demanding, or angry, or upset, just put on a sortof of face that says "I want to understand" and maybe say something like "We were good friends before. Now I feel like you may be upset at me? I feel like maybe I did something to make you feel like that towards me and though I don't really know what it is, I'm sorry I did it." Try to get her to tell you what you did wrong, but don't push it if she won't.
It's alright to feel angry, but communicating this to her is probably a bad idea because it's basically like saying "You don't have a right to hang out with other people and not talk to me! You have to pay attention to me all of the time!" Although I'm sure that's not what you feel, it would sound that way. When she is around you, try to remember to be a little more careful. Remember, she wasn't even talking to you before. And maybe don't be as rude around her friends (or however you act around them that was making you a little unsure of yourself in this post), just until you are sure that this issue has blown over.
ok so the other night i got my kiss. but he wasnt my boyfriend or anything and still isnt.
but anyways he frenched me and i think i totally messed up bc i wasnt readyy. but i have no idea what i did so that doesnt help.but if that happens again i want to know what im doing and kiss the right way.
help?
thankss.
Well first of all do you enjoy being kissed by people who aren't your boyfriend, and who won't be? I'm not sure there is any way you can "mess up" a kiss. Sure, the first time is usually awkward, but hopefully it's not really how skilled you are that matters, but the fact that you are sharing the experience of being kissed by someone you (hopefully) care about. Don't beat yourself up over if your kiss was good enough or not. It likely won't matter to the guy, unless he is looking for commitment. And if the guy is looking for commitment, it's most likely the two of you figuring out how to kiss together - everyone kisses a little differently.
But anyway, to answer your actual question, kissing, the act itself, isn't too hard once you have gotten used to it. Basically, you lean in the opposite direction of the person and slightly into them, parting your lips a bit (or as much as they part their lips). Then, close gently, puckering slightly. If the other person puts his tongue in your mouth, or if you decide to do so, open your mouth a little wider and stick out your tongue slightly to touch the other person's. The rest sortof varies from kiss to kiss, and you can look on google for webpages entirely devoted to kissing for more information.
Now see? Kissing is the easy part. The hard part is finding a guy worthy enough of your kiss.
I am 16 years old and me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years. Lately me and him have been fighting a little bit. He tells me that I don't think about him and that I only think about me and that I never take him into concideration when I want to do things. He tells me that I treat him like crap sometimes. When I feel the same way only about him. He never really seems like he cares about me like we use too. Like when he says I love you he doesn't sound like he means it. And I just don't know what to do because I don't know how to tell him because i'm afraid that he will blow up in my face and say that it is my fault. Please Please Please help in any way I just don't know what to do anymore because I love him so much and I don't want to break up with him but I just dont know what to do.
Yes, you love him, but it really isn't healthy to be with a guy who will blow up in your face if you so much as mention that something is wrong.
Right now you need to be strong. Remember what a wonderful person you are outside of the relationship, that you don't need it. The only way you should still be with this guy is if you truly enjoy spending time with him, and not because you are scared or are holding on to something you had. You may want to be in a relationship, but if anything happens, remind yourself that you will be alright afterwards.
That is the only way to get through this. You have to risk your boyfriend getting upset or a potential break up because honesty is the best thing, that and communication. You seem scared of losing him but the only way to truly hold on is to be okay with letting go, in some ways. Talk to him, nicely, sincerely, and tell him how you feel. Say that you want to talk about your relationship. Unless you can both open up to each other about how you feel as a couple you won't be able to understand each other and be happy together. If he blows up when you try to do this - he really isn't worth it.
And besides, what right would he have to be upset, if all of this time he has been ranting about how inconsiderate you are, and how much you treat him like crap. Although it's important to you that you are with this person, make sure that your most important goal is to always be in a situation where you are treated with respect.
16. F.
I've been single for about a year now. I've given my number out to plenty of guys, but only liked them as friends. So most of my guy friends like me and that's how I met most of them. Well I jus got back with my ex and I don't know how to tell them I have a boyfriend. I don't want to say it out of the BLUE! Like one wants to meet me at Six Flags, but I'm going with my boyfriend that day! Another asked me to go to homecoming as a date with him, but I just want to go as friends! The thing is, they always think I like them, I guess because I'm so "nice." I don't TRY to flirt. Oh gosh I do not. I don't say straight out flirty stuff (I would never!)... but I just need the best way to tell them! Thanks!
If you don't feel like hanging out with these guys for whatever reason, you can just say something general like "I have plans that day". Especially if you do have plans with your boyfriend. Though even something like "Sorry I'm meeting my boyfriend then" is a pretty good way to let them know, is it not?
If you were flirting and feel somewhat embarrassed letting them know in an awkward way (guess what I now have a boyfriend! Bye!), the best way may be just to casually bring him up in a conversation "haha it was so funny the other day my boyfriend and three friends..." they'll get the picture.
And if it ever gets really awkward with them liking you, like being asked to homecoming, it's always okay to add the "as friends, right?" just to be sure.
I met this guy who is exactly like me, we've been going out for about 2 weeks, and every day he tells met that he loves me.
He is always complimenting me, and we are ALWAYS together.
Do you think we'll last long as a couple? Or would same interests drive us away from each other?
Btw, he isn't a player type, not über outgoing or anything like that. He is the nicest guy i've met in my life :)
It's hard to know how long you'll last as a couple, especially if it's only been two weeks. Having the same or different interests doesn't seem to be the greatest factor - there are people that are completely different that are happily married, and people who are incredibly similar in the same situation. Often, however, having things in common is a good thing, because it helps you to be able to understand each other and know where they are coming from.
Don't think of what you have in terms of lasting or not lasting, and don't spend all of your time evaluating the relationship or worrying about how good it is. That is one thing that can kill it. Just let yourself be happy with him, though obviously if there is something about the relationship that is bugging you, you should speak up.
One thing you may want to think about, however (since you seem to be looking for advice of this sort), is the time you spend together. It's important to be around the person you're dating/ in love with but you also have to be a solid person on your own. It can be better to keep a relationship more casual at first, since you are still getting used to each other.
Otherwise, it sounds like you're happy, that he's happy, so I'm not entirely sure what your question is =]
ok so its like this. i was with my boyfriend for a year and 2ish months. we were amazing together, promised to each other and the whole shebang but for seriously long and complicated reasons not to mention the fact i wanted to breathe a little and have some 'me' time AND i started to like someone else, i said we needed a break about a month ago. we basically act the same as we did when we were together, except we realize were not together and we can date around whatever if we want to, HOWEVER we do plan on getting back together in the near-ish future when things work out. so, theres this guy at work who's basically being retarded and has been trying to kiss me for the past couple of weeks. he knows my bf situation and he doesnt 'like' me or anything its just him messing with me tryin to see if im a good girl or whatever, and ill kinda go along with it but i hadnt kissed him id always pull back. my boyfriend knows he's tried to kiss me but since we werent together officially anymore he couldnt do anything about it. well tonight, this guy was messing with me again and like we were talkin and stuff and i went to leave and he leaned in and kissed me and we made out for like a whole maybe 3 seconds. i feel NOTHING towards him and vice versa it was just a whatever thing. not happenin again. i feel bad though almost like i cheated on my boyfriend even though im technically single.. if he found out he'd probably flip. no one else was there so no one will know but if by chance someone did find out id deny it but i mean i really dont have a reason to feel guilty right? would my x-bf even have a right to be mad at me? ugh i dont know any thoughts? i just dont want to feel like im going behind his back ya know.
Technically you didn't do anything wrong, but you should take your guilty feelings as a sign. To avoid situations like this again in the future, talk to your ex bf/bf to figure out what you both want from the situation. If you are on a break, it only actually works if both of you, mentally, physically, and emotionally, are on a break. If you're technically on a break but want commitment from each other, and don't want to be with anyone else, it's not really a break, is it?
Explain what happened to your bf/ ex bf, and if it's bugging you, or if you want to get back together again, you could always spin the situation, saying how much it did bug you that this happened. Say that you don't actually feel single, that you don't like that guys look at you like they currently do and you could even spin the situation further, to say that if you two got back together you could get this annoying guy off your back for a real reason. Remember, though, just because your bf/ex bf can't technically complain that you did anything wrong, doesn't mean that he won't feel upset.
I suggest you make a decision to avoid this messiness in the future: do you want to be with your ex or not? Going halfway is confusing and could end up hurting you both.
I read this really good piece of advice on someone else's question.
Part of it is: "The truth is, it's not the pretty girls that get the guys, but the girls that are the most approachable."
Can anyone expand on that or give examples? Thanks in advance!
Well I'm flattered that you read my advice =]
Basically I meant that it doesn't matter how amazing a person you are in this guy snagging business unless the guy can see it. You could be the best conversationalist in the history of the universe but the guy won't know this if you've never held a conversation with him. It even goes with looks. Yes, you can see them, but a guy isn't really willing to risk that vulnerable part of him to date a girl who he doesn't even know and who hasn't shown that she's interested in him. Even if he did like her, if he's getting nothing in return, he's just going to feel awkward for a little while or unsure of what to do, and chances are before anything happens he'll fall for the girl that he's gotten to know as a person, instead of as this far away, untouchable object.
Which makes sense. Because in a relationship, the attributes of the people involved don't really matter as long as they are compatible, and enjoy time with each other, which naturally comes from a girl who looks like she'll spend time with the guy in question. Most of us have had some sort of object of infatuation, but honestly, how often does anything come of that? Now picture yourself in the guy's shoes.
To get a guy, to get even a guy friend, you have to show that you are a warm, interesting person to talk to. Even if one is to go with the whole hard to get route, you'll have to drop enough hints to show the guy that "chasing" you will be worth his time. It's not that difficult. Just talk to people, be warm and friendly, treat people in a way that makes you think of someone that you personally would want to spend time with. And when you are around the guy you like, look like you are interested in him, be polite, care about what he is saying. Tease him, or be flirtatious. If you are like this, or basically if you are approachable, you will be much more noticed than if you are pretty but don't do anything about it.
My friends (who are girls) tell me I'm pretty, but I've never had a guy come up to me and tell me I'm hot. I really hate it because they'll flirt with ugly girls, and I get no attention from guys. I really hate myself because of it. I'll never get a boyfriend and I've never had a real one either. Also, I want to go to homecoming but no guy will want to dance with me. What do I do?
What a guy thinks and what he says are two different things. Just because they don't say you're pretty doesn't mean that you aren't or that they aren't thinking it.
Also, it's not necessarily the guy who can approach you, so you don't have to wait and be upset at not being pretty enough or whatever. The truth is, it's not the pretty girls that get the guys, but the girls that are the most approachable. The best way to meet guys is to join a club, or just hang out in the halls after school saying hi to people you semi-know, or even people you don't know, and start conversations. You can ask to get to know friends that are guys that your friends may know, or be introduced to them. Even though it's usually seen as the guy who makes the first move, gender roles are changing, and as well, in most cases, it is the girl that starts by showing she's interested. It isn't very hard. Just convince yourself that you are an amazing person in your own way when you enter the room, smile, and be yourself. If there are guys around, show in a casual way that you are interested in getting to know them better if they wish, just by the way you act around them. Be nice to guys. They don't really have the confidence to tell girls they are pretty to their faces in most cases, at least until they have some sense that the girl likes them back. So make some guy friends. Tease your guy friends/ acquaintances and be playful with them. Act like you don't need a guy but if you act like you are interested in them (listen to them, tease them, laugh at their jokes/ crack jokes, be yourself) they will gain interest in you.
Remember that it's not all about getting attention for attention's sake. The real way to get confidence is to get it by, instead of seeking out the appreciation of others, learning to appreciate yourself. Figure out what you love to do and do it. Overall just tell yourself that you are worthwhile, and learn to love who you are.
i met this amazing guy, who likes me for who i am. and everything. :) but i wanted to send him this qoute like .. i may not have the smallest waist, or the blah blah blah but i promise to have the biggest heart to love you with. i cant remember it and its driving me nuts. haha if you can find it or one thats simliar id appreciate. :) thanks.
"I know I don't have the prettiest face for you to look at, or the skinniest waist for you to hold, but I promise that I do have the biggest heart to love you with."
I found it on google on several different sites. Actually a lot of them were good:
http://www.xanga.com/rawrritsSam
http://www.nexopia.com/profile.php?uid=1504290
http://www.wittyprofiles.com/author/LIVEINLOVEx721
http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?topic=1005&listname=Beauty
They all have plenty of good quotes on them.
Apparently the quotation is from Cassy. I'm not sure who she is, so you can call the person being quoted "anonymous" if you'd like.
I met my boyfriend 3 years ago & we went out for many many months, but never saw each other. We were young & he's a year younger than me. (We were about 14 & 13) We broke up bcuz I got mad at him for not calling me when we were supposed to meet somewhere. (Stupid, huh?) Anyways... over the summer he saw my myspace & told me to call him. I did and we talk everyday & about ANY & EVERYthing. We laugh all the time. So I work at Six Flags and he met me up there AFTER 2 years yesterday. (HE GREW UP. TALL. NICE MUSCLES. CUTIEEE hehehe) We had so much fun and he met all my co-workers/friends & manager! We laughed all night. He says the funniest things. His hugs are amazing. The way he holds me is just right, you know? So I have been single for a year & I told my mom what I wanted. Well, she kind of has an idea that him & I are back together. Today in the car she told me, "I know you want a good guy. Now there's a reason why you and him broke up. Don't go back to him. And he can't afford you anyways and you need someone who can afford you!" That was like TWO years ago and I grew up!! I don't care if he doesn't have as much money as me. First of all he's 15 too young for job, and he plays football, second he can't help his parents financial situations. I can't believe my mom said that. Its very important to me that my mom likes my guys. I have no idea what to do. I feel terrible. What should I say to my mom? I can't say those things to my mom because she would kill me if I said that. She has this attitude that she's always right. I'm not trying to put her out as a bad mother because she's my "bestest" friend! This is terrible and I know me & him are going to last. We are best friends & still talked after we broke up. He's exactly what I want/need and this is killing me. I just don't know what to say. :-(
She probably only said that because she didn't really know that much about your relationship. Tell her that you have different views about relationships than she does (well obviously), and about how you feel on the assumption that a guy has to provide the girl with money. Also you may add that you weren't really mature before, and broke up with him for a silly reason. Talk to her when she is relaxed, not doing something, and in a good mood. Tell her how much you like this guy and how happy he makes you, basically what you have said here about how he's funny and you think he's amazing and how he holds you just right. Tell her that, if she wants (and maybe warn this guy beforehand if you will do this) that she can meet the guy briefly if she wants, maybe over dinner or potentially something more casual. When he is around, casually introduce him.
She is your mother, and probably doesn't know this guy very well, so of course she's going to make judgments. She may not have even meant anything in the car, and if so it could have been nothing more than her voicing some concern. Hopefully if you talk to her she'll come around.
my boyfriend and i have been together a year and this past month has been really bad, we have stopped really talking and such(and yes we are intimate)but last night was homecoming and we just stood there it fely really weird, i was wondering if yall have any ideas on how we can rebuild our friendship.(breaking up is not an option) thanks :]
You could always try laying off the physical stuff for a bit, pretending he is one of your best friends, and just saying whatever pops into your head. If it's really awkward between you, invite him to a place where there will be other (hopefully talkative) people, perhaps some mutual friends, or go somewhere with him and a group of friends that one of you is part of. They will carry a conversation and as you both join in you will be talking indirectly with each other. Since it has been a year, you could always bring up inside jokes or things that happened in the past in your relationship as a good conversation starter and as a good way to say you appreciate everything that has happened in a year. You could try emailing him, or calling him over something mundane in the hopes of sparking up a conversation. Often it actually doesn't take much to rekindle what used to be a talking relationship/friendship. Something random and even stupid sounding could break the ice and leave him thankful that you said something at all. Think of the things you have in common, and start talking about this, or just start rambling about your own life and hope he joins in. As well, if the lack of conversation really has you concerned you should mention that to him. It could be that he is the type of person that really doesn't need to say much to feel close to a person, and if you do maybe he isn't aware of this (or maybe something is genuinely bothering him?). Good luck =]
I would consider myself a good writer of short stories. But I can never come up with good poetry. I don't understand why. Perhaps it's because I can't really feel it...So I always end up writing about suicide. What would you write about if you were a poet? How does one come up with better writing topics? lol..
Write about anything and everything, but the best topics are always those that one can relate to. Think long and hard about exactly the mood you are in in this exact second right now, and then right it down. Listening to music helps, preferable music that has to do with how you are feeling. It will exaggerate a mood in your mind so that you can write something that relates to it. Write about stuff that frustrates you, topics that move you. Compose a story in verse. Brainstorm lists of adjectives, just anything that comes to mind. Lists of adjectives AND words and onomatopoeia just for fun. Write about stuff you observe as if you were drawing a picture in your brain. A dewdrop, a sunrise, the guy/girl you like, being bored by homework/a job, not understanding life. Don't think so much about what you are going to say and just write something, staying as honest as possible.
Okay, I'm naturally a really nice person and I can basically strike up a conversation with someone I just met a second ago in the hallway. (I've done it several times...)
In gym, we had to do crunches for fitness gram and so we had to partner up. Well, I only hang out with girl 1 and 2 because they're sane and drug free. Well, girl 1 and 2 partnered up so I was partner-less so the teacher paired me up with guy 1 who just happened to be good friends with girl 1. Well, he did the whole *sigh, do I have to be partnered up with her?* sigh/look thing. And I was thinking "Fine, whatever" And he just like stood and talked to the person next to him the entire time and he wasn't even counting! Arg. So that was kind of pissy.
Are guys just like that in general? Or is it just him?
That doesn't sound like he likes you, it sounds like he's being a snob in saying he can only hang out with certain people. All guys are not like this, just the snobby ones, just like some girls can act the same way.
So this is how the conversation over facebook went...
me:We were having such a good conversation in the courtyard, i was hoping we could continue it with an exchange of numbers.
her:ohh really?..wellllll maybe you'll be brave enough to ask me for it next time.
me:haha ouchh, i was brave enough to walk up and talk to a good looking stranger, that deserves at least the first 3 digits...
her:hahah.. oooh a compliment and everythingg im gunna have to think about that
Yes, she is playing hard to get. She's teasing/flirting with you, in a way, by holding out on giving her number to make you want her more, and to make her feel more wanted.
do humans have an instinct? my friend was telling me that cats, both wild and househeld, dont actually love their cubs, or whatever, tis just their instinct to protect them. that bought up the question...do humans have an instinct?
Humans are animals and therefore have an instinct. You've probably witnesses it in your day-to-day life, the instinct to be popular, successful, the instinct to pursue the opposite sex. Our instinct is our drive and motivation and it tells humans what to do a lot of the time even while we are ultimately controlled by the reasoning, thinking part of us (or at least, one would hope).