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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
my vagina smells like fish, its really gross. i'm so self conscious when doing things with a guy because it smells. is their any way to get the smell to go away besides just washing with soap and water? cause i do that and it doesn't seem to be working out for me :/ thanks
The Answer
Wear cotton underwear. Stop wearing thongs and fancy lace things. Stop wearing underwear too bed. Just wear loose shorts or sweat pants.
Do that, and shower every day and after physical activity, and if you still think you smell after three weeks like that, talk to a doctor.
It really shouldn't take more than water to wash your vagina, and light soap should only be used on the outside lips and area around. The worse smells are most likely caused by not taking good care of your vagina when you aren't in the shower, like by keeping it wrapped up in tight, uncomfortable fabrics that don't let it breathe. Just like all of the rest of your skin, it needs to be left to itself sometimes. If you always, always wore socks your feet would get permentaly gross and smelly too. Same goes for your hands, or even for the skin under your watch.
So, start the above regiment of proper care, and banish your bad underwear, and see if that helps. Some degree of smell is natural and good, but for my own self, I know exactly which pairs of my fancy underwear make me smell worse than usual, so I’m careful not to wear them too often.
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The Question
okay so i am 16 and i think i may have of gotten a yeast infection. I am not sexually active and i have never had a flare up before. i have been doing a lot of research and my symptons match that of a yeast infection. i am very embarrased by this and i dont know how to tell my mom. we dont really talk about stuff like that. i really dont want to tell her at all.
so my question to you is 1. have you ever had a yeast infection? and how was your expierence.
2. have you tried the at home remedies?
3. were you embarrased to buy medication at the pharmacy.
4. did you tell anyone?
i want to try the at home remedies first because this way i can avoid telling anyone or being seen buying yeast infection medication. im really embarrased about this. any information will help.
thanks in advance.
The Answer
If this is your first experience with a yeast infection, you would be best to see a doctor to confirm that it is really a yeast infection. I know you probably aren’t going to, but I have to say that first anways.
If you absolutely will not see a doctor, then at least buy proper medication. Please. Buy a cure that includes two or three treatments, not just a single nights application, so you can be sure it’s completely gone. Single night treatments never work for me unless I catch it right away, and since this is your first, it’s probably gotten a few days on you.
Home remedies can work, but here is when they work best: They work best on women with a lot of experience with yeast infections, who've experimented to find the remedy and lifesytle changes that work best for them, catches her yeast infection very very early and treats it imediately.
If this is your first yeast infection, then you don’t have time to waste trying to shove yougurt and honey up your vagina. You need a quick, relaible cure, and home remedies cannot promise that. Not even close. So please use a proven method, one that has to conform to health and medical laws and is pretty much 100% going to work.
I know you are embarrassed. I was mortified when I had my first yeast infection and I had a really close relationship with my mom who was practically a nurse, and I was STILL horrified to talk about it with her… But now I’ve had plenty of them in my life. Sometimes it just happens. In fact, I was there when my best friend and roommate had her first one, and I was glad I was there and could be someone she could talk to honestly and simply about it. I don’t worry about buying medication for it at all anymore (though sometimes I do try to make sure I get a female cashier ‘cause I know they probably sympathize) no one has ever said a thing to me about it. That would be rude. They just ring it through like anything else.
You just have to remember that it’s very normal. Most women will get yeast infections at some point. You also have to remember that really good, reliable medication is available over the counter; you can just walk in and get it. Finally, you have to know that leaving a yeast infection not only gets really, really painful, but it can be dangerous if the infection migrates deeper into your body.
By all means if you can find a way to get medication with a friend or another female relative, do it that way, but do get medication. As embarrassing as this is, think of how much worse it will be if you end up explaining to an emergency room doctor that some strangers online told you if you just put plain yogurt or goats cheese inside yourself it would all be okay…
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The Question
My boyfriend is a few years older than me. In a year I will be transfering from the local college i attend now to a university about 3 hours away. He has already completed college.
I love him and i want to be with him, but i cant help thinking that i should get the college experience that most people do. This isn't to say i want to "get around", but just experience being with different guys. He understands this and realizes if this is what i want then he can't argue with me.
I am so torn. I love him so much and i really can see myself being with him in the long-run, but i dont want to look back at my life and regret the fact that i never had that true college experience like my friends. I never expected to have a boyfriend going into college, so I don't know what to do.
There is always the option of taking a break, but that usually ends with one person heartbroken. I dont want anyone to get hurt.
If anyone has had a similar experience or has anything to say on the matter, I'd appreciate it. Thanks so much.
The Answer
Get to college, see what the shift and lifestyle and enviroment means for your relationship, and then decide.
Right now you are trying to address imaginary future problems. We all do that from time to time, but it's a bit pointless. If you get to college and think "Well, the distance is killing us and I'm not getting what I want from this relationship or from college." then break up. If you get to college and think "Man I love this guy and this is working out for me!", great, stay togeather.
If you are certain, then go with what you feel certain about. But if you aren't certain, let time tell. It's not going to hurt any more or any less in a few months time.
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The Question
it has been nearly 2 months now since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me but just few days ago, i meet up with him for a gathering with our other friends (we had mutual friends). I did realised something from that day..
1st: i caught him looking at me for few times
2nd: he still plays with my hair like how he used to play with it when we're still a couple
3rd: i find that he still cares for me (eg: i was sitting at the corner and he voiced out to his friends why did they not asked me to join them when they were playing cards, asked me how am i going home later). but i was cool and not show him that i still have feelings for him, i act not to notice him when he said good night to me when i was leaving and i said good night to others but not him. other than that, when he tried to talk to me.. i acted as though i am busy and not respond to his questions.
besides that, i heard from my friends that he is now playfully going after a girl who is working in the bar whom he just met 1 weeks ago. besides that, he and his friends are visiting the bar every night for that 1 week because they came back for chinese new year holiday and now they are all back to work. is he giving me hints that he still wants to be back together with me? is he trying to make me jeolous by going after the girl to see how is my reaction? will i drive him away and i really don't know whether am i doing the right thing?
The Answer
You are way over-thinking this.
If you want him back, you need to speak up. I can pretty much guarantee you he isn't spending this much effort thinking about it. He is just doing what he wants to do, without any thoughts about your feelings on the matter.
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The Question
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a full month now and he STILL wants it to be private. I want to tell my friends that I'm seeing him but he keeps saying how he doesn't want everyone knowing about our business so we should keep our relationship hidden. I, secretly, told my best friend and she said it isn't normal and that boys who don't want anybody to know about their girlfriends are ashamed of them or are seeing other girls. I really don't want to believe that but I cannot come up with any different thought about it. Why doesn't my boyfriend want anybody to know we're dating?
The Answer
Whatever his reasons are for this behaviour, they aren't justifiable. You need to be able to tell him that although, yes, some things about your relationship should be kept private and just between the two of you, that not EVERYTHING about the relationship should be treated as a secret (certainly not the existence of the relationships itself!)
It's disrespectful to you if he is not open to others in his life about the fact that he is in a relationship.
It's unfair and controlling for him to try to prevent you from speaking to your closest friends about your relationship.
Those two things are completely unacceptable.
You have a very difficult task ahead of you, because on one hand you do want to understand and respect some of the rational boundaries your boyfriend might have. A rational boundary might be something like "Don't share e-mails or texts I send to you with your friends." or "Please don't talk about our sex life with all your friends." or "Don't tell them what I tell you about my family, or my exes..." Those are reasonable degrees of privacy to expect from a relationship.
However, "Never tell you friends we are dating." or "Never tell your friends we had a fight." are NOT reasonable boundaries. Those are controlling and isolating tactics that keep you from the honest support and friendships you have with other people. These are not fair or respectful expectations, you need to stand up for that very, very firmly.
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The Question
Hi, 22/f, he's 28/m.
Background: I worked at a coffee shop. Andy is one of the regulars. We talked a lot, hung out a little, and wound up dating for a month when I was broken up with my long-term on-and-off mess/boyfriend, Mike. Because I was still addicted to Mike, I broke it off with Andy. He understood, and hated myself for doing it, but I had to. Leading him on would've been wrong...
More than a year later: I no longer work at the coffee shop, Mike and I are done, and I've started hanging out with the regulars again, including Andy. A bunch of us went to the bar last night, and he made it pretty clear that he still likes me.
He's a good man, he's intelligent, he's fun, he's respectful, we have a lot in common...I don't know. I'm just kind of afraid to get back into a relationship with him because I hurt him last time. If we like each other, though, shouldn't we pursue it, if we're both single (which we are)? Should we just make sure we take things REALLY slow? I've been considering getting back into the dating scene lately, but dating around, not seriously...y'know? Just have some fun. What if he wants something more serious, and I hurt him again?
I need advice on this; I'm used to dealing with a hypersensitive, narcissistic, borderline guy...I don't think I know how to handle a normal one.
The Answer
You are over thinking this.
If you aren't sure you are ready to be in a relationship, be up front about that and don't be 'in a relationship' with him. Also be upfront about your concerns that you hurt his feelings last time, it's not unnatural to be worried that those old bad feelings could spill over into anything new.
Neither of you are clueless, Andy knows he is into you and you know it too. So just come out and say "Dude, I know we have this chemistry, but I don't know where I'm at right now."
The trick is honesty. Don't say 'Take it slow' when what you mean is 'I want to date around'. Don't say 'I'm just afraid I'll hurt you!' if the truth is 'I don't know I want a relationship with you right now'.
Don't back down from uncomfortable things if you know they are true. Having this conversation soon will help you avoid 'falling into something' and the confusion that goes with it.
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The Question
Alright here's the deal. I always thought my hair would look nice straightened and so, my gf offered to straighten it for me and she did and wow it looks freggin' Awesome lol. But sad fact of the matter is just about every one that has seen it has called it gay, now I can understand where I live at people prolly aren't use to it, and I picked up this punk style of clothing with it when i did that with my hair but it still make me po'd when people want to just say that because I do that with my hair. Any comments our help?
-15/m
The Answer
"I'm straight, but my hair is homosexual? How the hell did that happen?!"
Probably get a few laughs on that one...
If you like it, go ahead and stick to it. If you straighten your hair regularly, people will probably stop making ignorant comments and get used to it. However, I'm sure you already know that some people will just talk shit regardless. The best thing you can do is point out how silly they are being, and then let it go.
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The Question
Girl #1 is 20 years old, sexy, smart, ambitious, wild/spontaneous and is a 'country girl' if u will. I feel a connection with her and a spark when i am around her that i havent felt in a long time. But, she is very dramatic and is constantly angry at me 4 things which are either not my fault or are just blown completely out of proportion. every week she finds something else 2 b angry with me about that i really dont deserve and then she will treat me like crap for days, making me grovel at her feet. I really am the nicest guy on the planet and would do anything 2 make her happy, yet she constantly tells me that i don't care about her and am selfish. She has many emotional issues and is now seeking help so hopefully she will begin 2 c me for who I really am. But 2 weeks ago, she called things off with me in order 2 try 2 get back with her ex boyfriend. So, being fed up, I went out and met someone else (girl #2). Girl #2 is 21 years old, and is the sweetest person on the face of the earth! She is very much like me (an engineer, smart, wacky sense of humor, very caring and loving, sensitive etc) and she is also very beautiful. I end up going on a few dates with her and hooking up with her (she was a virgin before me). Then girl 1 decides that things won’t work between her and her ex anymore so she comes back 2 me. So I tell girl 2 that I still have feelings for girl 1, and I tell girl 1 about girl 2. Girl 1 is very angry, but is willing 2 work things out. Girl 2 is upset, but still wants 2 b with me. The thing is I really like both of them and could see myself being with either one of them. My dilemma is that I don’t want to hurt girl 1 in her time of need (since she is not emotionally stable) and I don’t want 2 just up and leave girl 2 since I took her virginity. I have put a lot of effort into making girl 1 believe that I wasn’t going 2 just leave her, and now I am contemplating doing just that. Which should I choose? Booth are viable relationship options.
The Answer
If the choice isn't obvious, you probably shouldn't be with either.
The main reasons you give here are both based in guilt: Guilt because you don't want to neglect the crazy one, and guilt because you don't want to abondon the girl you just slept with.
Guilt isn't a healhy foundation for a relationship.
It sounds like you are leaning towards girl 2… Which is fine, but just stop kidding yourself: You have to choose the one you WANT to be with. Not the one you feel most obligated to be with. If you really want to be with crazy girl #1, that’s okay too. As cliched as it sounds; Follow your heart.
If you don’t really want to be with either, then you shouldn’t be with either. No girl wants a boyfriend who is with her because he feels as though he is required to be because she is crazy, or because she was a virgin when he met her two weeks ago...
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The Question
So I've been in a relationship for over a year. We were very much in love, and then after a stressful semester at school, we started to fight alot. I was looking forward to winter break & rekindling our romance but I ended up breaking up with him because of one of the fights. He begged to come back to me and cried about how much he loves me and doesn't want this to happen, I didn't either because he's my world so we got back together. We ended up hanging out more that week and spending christmas together & then 2 days later he broke up with me, saying that me breaking up with him really did hurt, and all the nasty things I said to him rly affected him and I broke his heart. I was heartbroken too and we talked every few days but he said he did not feel he's ready to be back with me because he's hurt. I understood and gave him space. Soon he started talking/seeing this girl from his grade school that recently got out of a long relationship too. He writes on facebook, "we will be romeo and juliet." and asked her out on Valentine's Day. Less than 2 months since we broke up. That hurt so bad. He deleted me from his facebook but still has ALL of our pictures together. Some of his defaults even have us hooking up & the caption is "love of my life
The Answer
You are broken up hun.
There is no gray zone, and no 'maybe we are, maybe we aren't' in this situation. You are completely and totally broken up, and he is seeing other people.
You will never be the way you were, and it's looking less and less likely that you will ever get back togeather. His silence and blocking means two things: One, he doesn't want to talk to you, and Two, he doesn’t really care too deeply how you are feelings at the moment.
Stop clinging to the incredabily small chance that he might look your way agian. It's time to let this go, take his silence as a blessing, and to make peace with not knowing the whole story. We NEVER know the whole story when it comes to a break up and an ex, but even without total knowledge there comes a time when you have to face the basic facts. He isn't with you. He isn't talking to you. He is with someone else. Nothing spells 'it's over' more clearly then that.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years. For the first year or 2 he was the sweetest thing ever. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, then at our 2 1/2 we were apart for the first time ever as I was over seas, and it's like he had a mid life crisis. When I came back he said he was depressed, and he wasn't in love with me anymore, and he wasnt going to college and he was moving back home, and he was joining the military. I was so confused! Well, he changed his mind about not being in love with me, and we're back together, but now he randomly gets pissed off, and I have no idea why. He says its me, he says I'm being bitchy, or that I'm dense, and I am never intentionally being bitchy, and I don't understand why he calls me dense, because he seems to get mad at the most random moments when nothing appears to be going wrong. It takes the littlest thing to put him off. I've tried talking to him about it, and I know that I'm not perfect, but he never gives me a straight answer, it always just 'me'. I want to fix this but I don't know how. Help!
The Answer
If his anger is always your fault, congratulations! You have a textbook case of an abusive boyfriend.
Start laying down the law with your boyfriend.
It's okay to get upset. It's not okay to speak to me that way.
And
If it's just 'me' the way I am, we can't work on that unless you get more specific, and I will NOT live with your anger like this forever.
He is trying to blame you and make it all your fault, when it is very obvious that HE is the one with the problem: The anger, the bad behavoir, and whatever else it is that is fueling this. Stop accepting that it is your fault, and consitantly and firmly put the ball back in his court.
"I might not be perfect, but the way you are acting is not okay."
"We can't change this until you are honest and specific about what is upseting you."
"Your anger is not my fault. Your behavoir is your responsibilty."
Supporting him and his goals is the second step. The first step is making perfectly clear that you wont tolerate abuse, and that he needs to take responsibilty to communicate his own needs and issues in a way that isn't cruel and useless.
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The Question
A 20+ year friend (Jane) and I have been at odds for about a year now because I helped her daughter (Melissa) with a large sum of money, and the daughter has not paid me back as promised and agreed. Melissa also took advantage of her own mother, amoungst other people, and she obviously has mental problems. Recently I lost my job and am in serious finaincal need. It'd be great if she would pay me back, but Jane or Melissa will not communicate with me.
Jane continues to enable her daughter. I would like to repair the friendship with Jane as I miss her, but I don't think I can NOT bring the hardship up that Melissa has created, and she simply doesn't want to hear any bad things, or even attempt to speak to her daughter about the money.
I started to write to Jane, but then quit. Maybe I shouldn't make any attempts to contact her and make ammends? I don't think I could tolerate it if she continues to stand up for Melissa who is in the wrong. Although at the same time, I really miss my friend Jane. Do I try or forget it?
The Answer
If you can't forgive Jane, because Melissa has wronged you, then you are the one who has terminated the friendship.
It really is that simple. Melissa is an adult, and your beef is with her. If you can't put that to side during your conversations with Jane (another, albeit more willing, victim) then you are just as guilty as Jane for the disillusion of the friendship.
Either you say inside yourself
“Yes, I miss Jane enough to stop talking about this hot bottom topic and agree to disagree.”
Or
“No. This principal is so important to me that I’m willing to loose my friendship with Jane rather then compromise it in the slightest.”
This is not something we can really advise you on. It is about your personal feelings and choices. I've decided to end friendships because of a principal I felt strongly enough on, but I've also decided to continue friendships with a few ground rules of compromise despite staunch disagreements. Once you've made the choice, you'll probably get a lot of great advice here on how to open the lines of communication with Jane (if that is what you choose).
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The Question
I think I swallowed a fishbone. I feel a stron prick when I swallow my drink and sometimes out of no where. I swallowed the bone yesterday but while I was eating today I guess maybe it moved or something becasue it is hurting now? What should I do?
I tried eating cooked patato and banana, ive tried feeling for it myself but i am afraid to gag or make things worse???
The Answer
You are probably over-thinking this.
The human body is perfectly capable of passing a small fish bone. It might be a but unplesant, but it's not seriously harmful. Eat like you normally would, and go to a doctor quickly if you experience any extreme pain.
People can swallow keys and coins no trouble (not that they should, but they can). Our digestive system can break things down really well, or else is just ignores it complete and wisks it through your body out the other end. So relax. If it was small enough for you to swallow it, it's small enough for your body to handle it.
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The Question
I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Everything is going OK but I'm really just not happy with him being my boyfriend. We don't have anything in common and so it makes it hard to talk to each other since there isn't anything we're really both interested in. I'd rather just be his friend, I guess, because he's a good person but just nothing that makes us really compatible.
Last night we were on the phone and I knew I had to tell him my feelings about our relationship. I told him that I had been thinking of breaking up for awhile because I think we're better suited for different people and he totally blew up. He cried at first and I tried to calm him down but then he started talking about being depressed and that he can't stand to lose me. I was freaking out because I've never dealt with this before and he has never said anything about being sad like this before to me.
We talked some more and what it came down to is him saying to me that if I leave him that he will kill himself. His dad owns a gun and he knows where it is and how to use it. Last night he said he would go get it and blow his brains out while we were on the phone talking about breaking up. It really scared me because he was sounding serious about it.
I don't want him to kill himself and I especially don't want to be blamed for his death if he does commit suicide for some reason. I can't be in this relationship and I don't know how to get out now. I told him last night that I was sorry and that we would stay together but that isn't what I want at all. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing now and starting up this kind of conversation with him again.
Please, help me, I'm trapped. What do I do now so that he doesn't hurt himself and so that I can move on?
The Answer
Tell his parents, or a school counselor, any adult you can trust to take it seriously, and follow up with him.
It was wrong, disgustingly wrong, for your boyfriend to bully you into staying with him, not to mention how stupid it is, as though you can threaten someone into loving you?!
If he does harm himself, it will never be your fault. Even if some people do blame you, they are idiots. It will always be his fault and his stupid, wrong decision.
So tell an adult you can trust to take it seriously, and if you want to not be in a relationship with him, get out. His actions will always be his responsibility. Tell him you don't want him to kill himself, and if you are really concerned, call his parents or the police immediately and let them know what you think he is going to do.
But you can't pretend to want to be with him when you don't. No matter how hard you try, it won�t work. Best to deal with this problem now head on, then play along and try to fake feelings that simply can't be faked.
Take care and keep yourself safe.
(Oh, and the 'trying to get him to dump you' plan... I've only seen those tricks work in the movies, and most times they even back fire there.
We can't fuck around with other people's emotions like that, and pretend we can make them feel what we want them too. Pulling that kind of selfabsorbed stunt would be exactly the kind of bullying your boyfriend has done to you, and it wont actually get him the help he needs either, it would only be a way to pretend that the problem isn't there.)
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The Question
Ok, this is really embarrassing but this is why this site is anonymous, right?
I've always thought my penis looked normal until I saw some porn a few weeks ago and now I'm really paranoid that my dick is deformed or something. My penis is curved to the right and it's REALLY noticable when I'm hard. I thought maybe it's because I use to jack off a lot and maybe the way I held my cock caused it to curve that way? I don't know. I don't want to end up taking my pants down and a girl laugh at me though. Is there any way that I can fix a curved penis? Is it really as embarrassing as I think it is or am I overreacting?
The Answer
It's normal. You can't change it. It's not because you masturbate.
It's just the way the tissue grew. Nothing to do but let any girl who doesn't know already, that it's normal and natural. Would you laugh at girl you really liked cause her boobs were uneven? Or if one her legs was a bit longer then the other? A girl who really likes you wont laugh either.
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The Question
My boyfriend wants me to go on the birth control pill so he doesn't have to put a condom on when we have sex but I'm not sure if it's safe to do that. We really can't risk me getting pregnant so I want all of the information on this before I go on the pill so I know what needs to happen for us to be safe. I'm not against going on the pill or anything, but I do want to know if we'll be safe and protected if he doesn't wear a condom any more when we have sex. My boyfriend says as long as I take the pill every day then he won't have to wear a condom, but a friend of mine says she still makes her boyfriend wear a condom just be on the safe side even though she's been on the pill for like 3 months now.
Any info. is great info.
Thanks!
The Answer
If you can't risk you getting pregnant AT ALL, then you shouldn't be having sex, AT ALL.
There is always a risk. If you are on the pill, you can control and reduce that risk. If you are using condoms as well as the birth control pill, then you can control and reduce the risk even further.
It's not uncommon, especially for young guys, to think that sex without a condom is cooler or feels better. It often takes a smart young woman to explain to them that they are being immature dinks, and that protection is the most important thing.
If you are comfortable taking the pill and not using a condom, well, I don’t think that is a very smart choice, but if you are comfortable with it, that’s fine. However, if you want to take birth control and use a condom, let your boyfriend know it flat out. It might be ‘pretty safe’ just only use the birth control pill, but ‘pretty safe’ is not safe enough.
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The Question
My friend was telling me that if you have sex whiel you're on your period you cannot get an STD because of the blood flowing it out of you too quickly. She said she had sex with her boyfriend who had herpes and she didn't get it because they had sex while she was on her period. She totally isn't lying, I'm sure. I was curious if this was actually true though because it does kind of sound a little iffy to me and maybe she just had good luck or something. So, is it true that you can't get an STD if you have sex on your period?
The Answer
Your friend needs to get checked.
If she didn't get herpes, she was just lucky, not safe. I'm afriad I'm with many of the other commenters here: You friend sounds like a moron.
If anything, being on her period increases her risk of contracting an STI, because your vagina's natural defenses are weakened when you menstrate.
Good for you for realizing it was a 'little iffy', and please, try to talk some sense into your friend.
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The Question
I'm a 21 year old female. I rejected a guy about a month ago, not because I didn't like him (i really did like him), but because I had just started to date someone else, and didn't want to see 2 guys at the same time. I only hung out with the guy I rejected once, but we had a good time. Nothing physical happened. I wrote him a short, nice message apologizing and explaining why I couldn't see him anymore. Now this relationship is over, and I really want to get in touch with him again! I don't know if I should. Will he react badly since I rejected him? Is there a certain amount of time I have to wait?
The Answer
There is no set amount of time, but be honest with yourself: There is really no way to do this that isn't a little bit rude.
So when you get in touch with him agian, eat a bit of humble pie.
You were trying to do the right thing last time, and that was respectable, but if you are interested in reconnecting with him rommantically, you are probably going to have to take it slow and prove yourself a bit first. Once burned, and all the jazz.
He is likely going to be miffed and caustious, and it possible his reaction might be even worse than that, so you'll have to decide if he worth taking the risk of getting a negative response.
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The Question
How am I supposed to ask for advice if I dont know what my problem is. This is what happened to me a few weeks ago. I met this lady, a very brilliant, smart, sophisticated type of a woman.
She went out with me several times, we shared notes in our school work...she is a Physician Assistant student at University of Minnesota and am going for my masters in Mass Communication and Journalism.
After a few weeks, she started missing my phone calls, ignoring my phone calls and when I confronted her she asked me for money to pay a medical bill of 1,200.00.
What was she upto? I wondered!
So I asked her if she thinks we are heading anywhere with our relationship?
She said I was not her type....I was not light skin enough....I was tall enough and had the hair she liked but I was not light skin enough.
Should I bleach myself...cause I really care about her.....pleae advise. thanks...bye
The Answer
Are you insane? Is this a real question?
I mean, no, of course you shouldn't BLEACH yourself.
And you should also NOT pay her medical bills!
You aren't in a relationships with this vapid, gold digging, racist little bitch, and you should NEVER get into one with her.
She isn't smart, she's a judgmental freak, and she isn't sophisticated, she's a selfish whore.
How can you care about someone who ditches you, ignores you, tries to extort money from you, and then tells you that you aren't good enough for her because of the colour of your skin?! Seriously! That is a whole UNIVERSE of NOT OKAY behavoir.
If you need a woman to abuse you, hire a dominatrix. She'll be cheeper than this nasty piece of work.
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The Question
I'm super pretty. Super skinny. All the boys drool over me. But I'm nawt popular, because in 5th grade, i was a total LBR and i befriended the lamest girl in my class. Now,were still friends and shes still and LBR. Most of my friends are super popular and i would luh-v to hang with them instead I'm expected to hang out with my LBR. So how do i gradually drop her without hurting her feelings?
Thanks!
xoxo Kellie
The Answer
Sorry hun, but there is no 'nice' way to ditch a long time friend.
If that's what you wanna do, that's cool. You shouldn't hang out with someone just because you feel like you have to, but don't fool yourself: Ditching her is going to be mean no matter how you try and do it.
The most decent thing you can do is give her the 'we've grown apart' bullshit line, and hope she meet some people she has more in common with then you.
If you are going to cut her out, be an honest bitch about it, and not a fake-nice-to-your-face bitch. Don't dress it up as though it's something it's not. That just makes you look fake and you'll hurt her even deeper with the confusion of why things have changed.
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The Question
Okay so, I was sitting around thinking about goals for myself and I was thinking I really want to be an actress, ya know, make something of myself. I'm stuck in my tiny town and I can't get out. I want all of the people in my town to be put on the map, for us to be recognized, for us to be something. I want to be able to die and be happy because I did everything possible, no regrets. I want to be the next Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus, they both come from small towns and rose to the top, of course Billy Ray had a big part in Miley's excellence. I want to do this, I am so dedicated, I want to be seen on tv, wear beautiful dresses, meet the stars, attend Gala events, I want to be on Disney Channel, I didn't think small town girls were possible until Debby Ryan, look at her, she came out of nowhere. As did Nikki Blonski of Hairspray, she litterally had no experience at all, the cast of the movie found her at Coldstone Creamery taking a break from filming and they liked her so much they just asked her to go down to the studio to audition her. Please don't just write back "Good Luck, you won't get anywhere" Anything is possible so don't be a jerk. I want honest advice, what do I do next? Acting classes? Are the classes going to be costly? How do I audition for a show? Do I send in a tape or do I have to go somewhere? Please help me, I want this so bad.
The Answer
Sigh.
You aren't going to like what I'm about to say and it's not 'you won't get anywhere', 'cause I don't know that, but I do know this:
It’s very unlikely you’ll get very far with that attitude.
Wanting to be famous for the sake of being famous, for making a name, for attending the right parties and wearing cool clothes, is well, kind of short sighted and not very effective.
I went to drama classes and theatre school with TONS of teenage girls that sounded just like you. I'm twenty five now, and those of us who loved the art for the sake of the art, who just were passionate about practicing it, and supporting it, and supporting the people who make art... We're all working in the creative industries now. Some have really big names, and some don’t. Some have got their breaks, and others haven’t. But we’re all making a living and working damn long hours to do it.
The girls who talked like you did in this question though… I don’t hear from them much anymore. The girls who wanted to be famous, maybe they landed a commercial or two, and then they drifted away from acting. They work in retail now, a few teach yoga. Nice girls. But they didn’t love the WORK, and if you don’t love the work, you don’t stand a chance. Without a passion for the work, you might get stupid lucky, but you'll never, ever get any lasting fame.
So yeah, take some acting classes if you think you might love acting. Take voice lessons if you think you might love singing. Find out if there is WORK in the entertainment business that you truly LOVE, because anyone can have a passion for being famous, but it’s the people with the passion for the art of entertainment that have the stamina and the drive to actually go the distance.
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