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going away to college
My boyfriend is a few years older than me. In a year I will be transfering from the local college i attend now to a university about 3 hours away. He has already completed college.
I love him and i want to be with him, but i cant help thinking that i should get the college experience that most people do. This isn't to say i want to "get around", but just experience being with different guys. He understands this and realizes if this is what i want then he can't argue with me.
I am so torn. I love him so much and i really can see myself being with him in the long-run, but i dont want to look back at my life and regret the fact that i never had that true college experience like my friends. I never expected to have a boyfriend going into college, so I don't know what to do.
There is always the option of taking a break, but that usually ends with one person heartbroken. I dont want anyone to get hurt.
If anyone has had a similar experience or has anything to say on the matter, I'd appreciate it. Thanks so much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Get to college, see what the shift and lifestyle and enviroment means for your relationship, and then decide.
Right now you are trying to address imaginary future problems. We all do that from time to time, but it's a bit pointless. If you get to college and think "Well, the distance is killing us and I'm not getting what I want from this relationship or from college." then break up. If you get to college and think "Man I love this guy and this is working out for me!", great, stay togeather.
If you are certain, then go with what you feel certain about. But if you aren't certain, let time tell. It's not going to hurt any more or any less in a few months time.
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Unfortunately no one can go through life without heartbreak, at least once. This is not an easy situation and there's going to be no easy solution. Accept that. You sound like you already know what you want to do, but understandably you don't want to hurt someone you love. However, you could end up hurting him worse by going off to college and then having him wonder if you are giving your heart to someone else. Not to mention the guilt and conflict you'll feel as you start to meet new people and want to hang out and get to know them. You'll be moving in a new direction for a while and that will mean you'll be pulling away from him, even if its only for a little while. So, you may have to do the hard thing and break it off. It will hurt both of you for a while, but I promise, in the long run, no matter what happens, you will never regret it. And who knows, you may both come back together some day with even stronger feelings, knowing for sure that you don't want to be with anyone else again. Good Luck.
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I really understand what you are saying. I felt that same way at one point in my life, but just in a different situation. I got married when I was 21 and i never really dated before getting married. After years of marriage, I felt like I was missing out on something. I felt like I never got the chance to date and be with different guys, who knows, maybe there was someone out there better than the husband I had. All sorts of thoughts start running through you mind. But let me tell you this, if you know deep down inside that what you now have is true love, don't waste your time trying to find out what else is out there. You may go off to college and have fun, yes this is true, but a few years down the line, when you have gotten older and matured, you look back on life and wish you had not made the choices that you did. Then when you realise that you had a really good man, and because of your choices, you lost out, you will truly regret it. On the other hand, if you are not looking to settle down any time soon and you feel like this guy is not the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, then I would suggest to you, that you should "see other people" so to speak. My advice to all young woman these days is to NEVER settle for less than the best. God only wants the best for his people. If you feel like you are not getting the best out of your presently relationship, run like hell. The right one is out there. Good luck to you! I hope this helps.
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