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Friendship down the drain over money
A 20+ year friend (Jane) and I have been at odds for about a year now because I helped her daughter (Melissa) with a large sum of money, and the daughter has not paid me back as promised and agreed. Melissa also took advantage of her own mother, amoungst other people, and she obviously has mental problems. Recently I lost my job and am in serious finaincal need. It'd be great if she would pay me back, but Jane or Melissa will not communicate with me.
Jane continues to enable her daughter. I would like to repair the friendship with Jane as I miss her, but I don't think I can NOT bring the hardship up that Melissa has created, and she simply doesn't want to hear any bad things, or even attempt to speak to her daughter about the money.
I started to write to Jane, but then quit. Maybe I shouldn't make any attempts to contact her and make ammends? I don't think I could tolerate it if she continues to stand up for Melissa who is in the wrong. Although at the same time, I really miss my friend Jane. Do I try or forget it?
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Melissa is very enabled by her mother. You will never change Jane feelings toward her daughter. I think eventually God will give you back your money because someone wronged you. I would call Jane and I would bring it up just by saying that her reasons are her own for how she feels about her daughter and the its behind you now. I had a situation with a friend of 24 years I was very sad without her. We put it behind us and rebuit are friendship. All frienships have there ups and douwn. hope this helps
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If you can't forgive Jane, because Melissa has wronged you, then you are the one who has terminated the friendship.
It really is that simple. Melissa is an adult, and your beef is with her. If you can't put that to side during your conversations with Jane (another, albeit more willing, victim) then you are just as guilty as Jane for the disillusion of the friendship.
Either you say inside yourself
“Yes, I miss Jane enough to stop talking about this hot bottom topic and agree to disagree.”
Or
“No. This principal is so important to me that I’m willing to loose my friendship with Jane rather then compromise it in the slightest.”
This is not something we can really advise you on. It is about your personal feelings and choices. I've decided to end friendships because of a principal I felt strongly enough on, but I've also decided to continue friendships with a few ground rules of compromise despite staunch disagreements. Once you've made the choice, you'll probably get a lot of great advice here on how to open the lines of communication with Jane (if that is what you choose).
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You should try and contact her Jane's daughter promised she'd pay you back & paying you back is
the right thing to do you shouldn't have to suffer
because she went aganist her word and didn't do what she agreed too Jane probably doesn't want to admit that Melissa did something wrong i wouldn't forget about it you deserve your money stand up for yourself you can't let this go do what's right if
you miss your friend then contact her and explain to
her how you feel say that you'd like for her daughter to pay you back seeing as it was a large amount of money that you had given her & not a small
one say you recently lost your job & your in serious financial need contact her it's worth a shot(:
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