Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32841
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NinjaNeer
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ThirdQED
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So About two or three weeks ago me and my boyfriend were fooling atound in my room. Well he was rubbing his dick around my vagina. But thats all he did. But he had precum on his dock and he said he got it all off. Then he did that again. But its april 26 and im supposed to get my period tomorrow april 27. And im nervous. But my period is irregular. So what are the chances that i could be pregnant? Thannks in advanced (link)
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While Dani gave incorrect information below me, The real answer would be anything is possible but it's highly unlikely. A lot of things delay periods, Stress, being over weight or under weight, Poor diet and lack of exercise. The chances are very very low that you are pregnant, Don't sweat it. If you don't want children then you might want to start using condoms and being safe
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Can a guy pre-cum after the first ejaculation? Like for example if we have sex and he ejaculates, and then gets hard for a second time, can he still pre-cum for that second time before the second ejaculation? (link)
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Yes
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Today - My ex girlfriend decides to leave a box of all the things I've ever given her: Notes, a $55 dollar pair of shoes she never wore, birthday cards, etc. I don't know what to do about this - AND she's started hangning out with my bestfriend... I'm not sure what to do about her. And I don't want her to interfere with my and my bestfriends relationship of 8 years...What do I do? (link)
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Just like Dani said below me, When a woman returns the items that her boyfriend had bought for her it means she has moved on. As far as your friend, If he is as good as a friend that you say he is the he would probably show your some respect. If your best friend chooses to be with her then obviously he wasn't that great of a friend all along. What to do with the items that were returned to you? The shoes, See if you can find someone else who wears the same size or wants the shoes. If you still have the receipt then you can possibly return them and get your money back. There really isn't much you can do if your friend chooses to hang out with your ex, If you try to end it then it will only cause you more stress and in the end you have nothing but chaos and your friend could very well end up resenting you for it.
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okay i went to this awake-a-ton and meet this guy, hes 17 and im only 14. we got on great and were really open to each other. I only had known him for a day b4 he asked me for my home number msn, facebook ect. hes called several times and talks asthough he likes me.... the problem is he has a gf. he lives far away so im not sure what to do.... is it normal for a guy to call a girl/hug ect when he has a gf... how do i find out if he likes me .. without him thinking im a foulish teen ?? (link)
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Don't get caught up in drama, The guy has a girlfriend and you are walking straight into one hell of a drama zone. If a guy is hitting on you while he has a girlfriend not only is that completely wrong and unfaithful but it means he doesn't know what the word "Committed" means. Is it normal? No. I would not go meet him, Show him you are better than that.
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20/f
I started working at my retail store back in January and I became close friends with one of the assistant managers, who's 19/m. We got very very close and I really fell hard for him. We started dating a few weeks ago (our one month is coming up next week), and our friends and families know about it and support us. But he doesn't want to make it "facebook" official or let anyone at work know because he's scared our manager will fire one of us or both of us. I don't see this as being likely because we're both good employees, and our manager knows that my bf used to date another one of the girls we work with and he never said anything.
How can I convince my bf to at least try to see if we can be fully public about our relationship? I feel like I'm lying to my bosses and our coworkers, because I have to pretend not to be interested in my own boyfriend :( (link)
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I am an assistant manager to a retail store also (Sears) I can say you are better off keeping it quite. Relationships between co-workers is considered to be inappropriate to some workers. A managers main focus is to get the job done, Make sure everything is in tact and done right. Not babysitting two people who are in a relationship and feel the need to express themselves freely because they think they are lying to their boss. Harshly put, Nobody cares. A management position at the age of 19 is an accomplishment just like Witty said, Instead of possibly jeopardizing that for your boyfriend keep the relationship to yourselves. Better safe than sorry
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I completely take responsibility, as it’s my own fault, no one else’s.
I am with a guy, but he treats me crap.
I mean really, like total crap.
I’ve finally found the courage to break up with him, until I remembered that, earlier in the relationship, I let him take some….embarrassing photos of me.
I’m now kicking myself for being so naive in trusting him, and I can’t break up with him, in case he holds these photos against me.
I know this was stupid, so spare the lecture, I’ve certainly learned my lesson.
What do I do? (link)
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#1. Always remember that love is NOT betrayal which you seem to already know that and good for you for seeing it.
I think what Confused said below me is a great idea, Plan something "surprising" for your boyfriend but rather than actually going along with it take that time to go through the house and see what you can find. Try to look when he isn't home or if he has a computer ask him if you can borrow it and when you a free chance delete everything again.
I hope you take this as a lesson for the future, Don't ever let someone take pictures you don't want to be seen again.
If you don't end up finding all the photos, and he does end up showing them around then you have a reason to go to the police as it would be considered harassment, violation of privacy.
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So, for those that didn't read my previous question, it might be a good idea.
But basically, I dated this guy two years ago. I was 16 going on 17 and he was 17 just turning 18. We had a good relationship. Dated 6-7 months. I don't know if I loved him or not..but I definitely had strong feelings for him.
So, I broke up with him because lack of communication and we were fighting basically for three weeks. And afterwards, I told him how I shouldn't have made such a rash decision and I told him how I felt...three times since we've broken up. And three times I've been rejected or given bullshit answers.
ANYWAYS, that's the short story and like I said, reading my previous question would be a good thing. :) AND, fyi, he was a great boyfriend, not controlling or anything, we had a great relationship except the last three weeks of it.
SO, last week, he messaged me after not talking to me for well over 6 months. He came over. We were wrestling/flirting/tickling eachother. We made out and I had butterflies in my stomach. I stopped in the middle and asked him why he kissed me (which I didn't mind at all) and he said that he still had feelings for me and that he's been wanting to kiss me since the last time he saw me (which was the last time I told him I still had feelings for him...which I got rejected...again because he was getting over his psychotic ex-girlfriend).
So then, we kept talking all last week and I invited him over to my house this past Saturday night. I waited at my house for him to come over, and finally I messaged him around 9pm to see what he was doing and he said he was an hour away and forgot to tell me that. Btw, I'm now 19 and he's 20.
He ended up coming over around 10:30-11 Saturday night when he got home and we watched a movie, wrestled/tickled/flirted and we made out for hours. I loveee kissing that boy.
But that was Saturday night. He hasn't text me at all & I don't know why.
I haven't told him how I felt, but I'm sure it's pretty obvious. And he usually texts me everyday as of lately just to see how my day is going, which I like the fact that he does that. The only time that I have text him first is the time that he was supposed to come over and I said "Hey, what's up?"
I haven't text him at all, and I don't want to. Since he's the one who approached me this time around, I want to make it a challenge for him. He needs to fight for what he wants. I'm already putting my heart out there to see what happens, but I'm being careful with it. I don't trust him with it because the last few times I have been rejected by him, so it's weird that he's been doing this. But, I don't understand why he hasn't text me.
We are not virgins and we didn't lose our virginities to eachother, we have both dated other people. He is the boy that has always had that soft spot in my heart. I'm playing hard-to-get but I'm not being a total bitch about it either.
And also, he didn't have any classes today, or work. UGH. And I don't expect him to jump into a relationship...although it's been like 6 months since his ex-girlfriend. I haven't mentioned anything about a relationship. And I definitely haven't told him how I feel...but we've made out so it's not like I'm not giving him a chance. So what the hell is going on!?!
SO, why do you think he hasn't called/text me?
(link)
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There could be a number of reasons, However keep in mind that it has been quite awhile since you two have dated. Honestly, It sounds like he is trying to stroke your ego but I could be wrong. It's the fact that he hasn't text you in two days that raise questioning to whether he is playing games with you or not. Do you know if he has a girlfriend?...Do you know if maybe he likes someone else too? Are you sure he is not still in contact with his ex? If you are around him I would be careful not to fall to hard, Good for you make him work for it. At least if you make him work you will have a better idea to whether he is really into you or not. Sometimes to get answers out of people you need to study them. Does he seem like a bull shitter?..Also, Despite someone being "nice" people change everyday believe it or not not everyone stays the same after a few months or even a few years. However, I think you may have answered your own question at the very end... :/
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17/f
Do you guys think that it's worth it to spend $110 on a watch that you're in love with and will most likely wear every day? I will be spending my own money on this.
Thanks :) (link)
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In my opinion I think spending $110 dollars on a watch is a bit much. I would rather spend 50 bucks on a watch rather than blow my money like that but that's just my opinion.
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and doesn't support me as much as I need him to.. =/
Sooo, my boyfriend got me pregnant two months ago, we live together with his dad. But ever since I got a thumbs up from the doctors he's just been leaving the house at 11am and usually comes back around 12am... it's around 2:20am now and he still hasn't returned, I'm starting to get worred.. I don't know where he goes and he gets angry when I pry. He hasn't kissed me since the 19th - 20th April =/ He said he couldn't wait to be a father at the start but now he's drifted away..
What can I do? =[
(by the way, I'm from the UK.) (link)
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Sounds like your boyfriend is stressed, and is taking some time to himself for awhile. One thing that you said made me wonder as you didn't list any detail...How old are you?...How old is he? It could be that he might be feeling like he isn't ready to take on fatherhood which it's a little late to be thinking that now. Everyone woman needs support when they are pregnant especially woman who are expecting their first child. It is a bit immature of him to be acting like the pregnancy doesn't exist and taking off for long hours at a time. TALK to him, Sit him down and tell him that you are pregnant and you need his support. As he is in this just as much as you are. If he can't handle the responsibility then that has got to raise questioning on whether he will be a good father to both you and that child. It is responsibility. If he doesn't change his ways and change them fast then I don't know what to tell you but other than I feel sorry for that kid
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18/f
with 18/m
How ridiculous is it for two 18, almost 19 year olds to move in together in our own apartment? We've been dating for a year and a half. I have problems with my parents but they seem to think there's nothing wrong but its bothered me enough that it stresses me out when I'm living there, so I spend 90% of my time at my boyfriend's house. Anyway, he wants to move in together but I feel like my parents would flip...I KNOW they would flip out. I was just wondering from an outside point of view, do I have a valid argument or is moving in with a teenage boyfriend completely ridiculous? (link)
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Moving out to avoid your folks is a bad idea, In the end your parents are actually the people to help you out the most and believe me I speak from experience. Getting a place with someone is a commitment it's not something that you just go and do because you think it would be "fun" it is one of those things that need to be thoroughly thought about. Once you and your boyfriend get a place together you two will have bills to pay, food to bring in the house hold and a bunch more other things to worry about. It is not all about fun and games, In fact moving out was probably one of the most stressful things I had ever had to deal with. Apartments are NOT cheap, and the fun you have now would probably be cut in half once you are out on your own. The day you sign a lease is the day you have responsibility. This is a decision that is to be thought out wisely.
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Hi
I have been going out with my girlfriend for about a year. I am very physically active, and I don't expect my girlfriend to do as much as I do but lately I really am having trouble talking to her about weight.
I love my girlfriend's personality, but I have problem with her being overweight. I don't expect her to look like a model, and I don't mind if she's a little chubby, but I really have a problem with her being overweight and it's a huge pet peeve of mine. She has been trying to cut back, but she hasn't really lost weight. Its sad because she used to be really in shape and do gymnastics. I also try to do activities with her but she doesn't like doing them. I feel like it would be dumb to break up with her just because of the weight thing, but she just isn't losing weight and it's been 4 months now since she started trying to.
My question is, how can I help her get in shape without her getting angry at me? I feel like I'm being a jerk when I say she should run and work out, but it is super important to me. Also she doesn't want to use any drugs to lose weight. What ways can I help to convince her to get in shape?
Any suggestions on my situation would be valuable to me.
Thanks a bunch (link)
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Most woman have huge insecurity problems when it comes to their weight, and for many it is their most touchiest subject.
I think you should try to help her by doing more outdoor activities. She would probably accomplish more if you two were to work at it together, Don't bluntly come out and tell her you think she needs to loose weight. I think it is a little shallow of you to even think about how dumb it would be if you broke up with her just because of her weight. By you saying such a thing tells me that you have actually thought about it. I'm not going to say you are being a jerk, but thinking about dumping someone because of their weight issues is certainly a jerky thing to do if you were to go through with it. Instead of going out to eat, Cut back on how much you eat out. If she brings up why you mentioned it just simply tell her that you think it would be a better way to save on money and you think it would be more fun if you two were to make a dinner together. If you keep on nagging her to loose weight, It's only a matter of time before she eventually gets fed up with it.
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I was looking through a Gameinformer magazine and I came across an advertisement for Alienware laptops. The style of the models they have like perfectly fit my tastes (black and red are my FAVORITE color combo lol). Anyways, I know that they are the laptops that are designed to be perfect for gaming, but would it make like a good laptop for regular purposes other than gaming like surfing the net, typing up homework, and all that? I've looked at the features of the Alienware M11x and Alienware M17x models and they look pretty nice, like 8 hours of battery life. Thats pretty sweet! Basically do they make good regular laptops with all their features and stuff? Like use their features to your advantage and have high performance when doing work on it? (link)
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Alienware is a great brand for computers, However it is made for gaming. Is it good for office work? Yes, If it can handle a game then it should handle office work just fine. (P.S. I also love the black and red!)
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in you're opinion, do you think a person means it when they tell their gf/bf that they love them when they're drunk? Serious, honest answers, please, thank you! (link)
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Alcohol usually speaks for itself depending on how drunk the person is. However, Alcohol also effects different people in different ways. Not everyone is a mean drunk, funny drunk again it all depends on the person and exactly how drunk they are.
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19/F
My girlfriend comes back from her vacation soon and I want to do something cute/romantic for her when I pick her up from the airport/ have a date night with her the next night...any ideas?
Thanks! (link)
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Bring her some flowers, When she gets home depending on the time make up a nice dinner with some candles or something. I'm sure she will appreciate whatever you do.
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Once upon a time, there were two music lovers; Matt and Claire. They were on the way home from camp on a bus, and Matt turned to claire and shyly asked for her number. She gave it to him, and they soon after became friends. Their relationship became very strong, and they were best friends. One day they were on a trip, and Matt realized he had feelings for Claire. He never left her side during the band trip. At the end of the trip, he couldn't take it. He wanted to ask her out. He asked her best friend, Anna, if he should ask her. Unfortunatly, claire had feelings for another boy. Anna told Matt this, and his heart was broken. It took a while for his feelings to subside for her, he almost asked her out again, but wasn't brave enough. He gave up, and as his feelings slipped away, so did their friendship. Matt dated other girls, but Claire stayed single. She always had oppurtunities for relationships, but she couldn't find the right one. Then she realized it was because she had feelings for Matt. She was in love with him for such a long time. She knew that Matt didn't love her anymore, and she knew it would be better to get over him, but she couldn't do it. She had never felt feelings for other boys than she did for Matt. Matt and claire became best friends again, and claire fell deeper and deeper in love. Matt still dated other girls, but never felt a real connection. As Matt was with another girl, he started to act differently around claire. He missed her when she went on vacations, and always wanted to be with her.
This is a true story, and yes I just poured my heart out to you strangers.
I'm Claire, and my best friend is Matt.
I don't know what to think, I don't know what to think, I don't know how to act, I don't know what to say, I'm at a total loss right now.
To the people who decide whether it's worth it putting this on the site-I'm giving you my heart here. This is my lifes love story.
Help.
-M (link)
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Guys are not going to wait around, They have better things to do then to wait around for someone who doesn't know how they really feel. You had your chance but you decided that you didn't like him back, Now that he has chose to move on you suddenly decide that you have feelings for him. Well, wait until he is available, If you try to ruin a relationship he currently is in he may end up resenting you for it.
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About Two nights ago, i had a weird nightmare where my friend was dying, this restaurant by my school was blown up into bits and peices and it was on fire. dead firemen were being pulled out of the fire and then i looked up at the sky and i saw a huge bomb and people were saying it was headed towards this city which i can't name on here, for stalking reasons, but my friends live there so i was tellling everybody to run. Today we had a shooting threat and our theatre in our school is performing into the woods.. well it was supposed to be going on during the show and there was a hit list. nothing happened, but now i am scared that there will be a bomb or something. what does my nightmare mean?? can someone translate it and do you think that my nightmare meant anything i should be aware of? please oh please help me. I also suffer from heavy anxiety. are there any tricks to calm down the soul? (link)
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I think it was just a random coincidence, Maybe you feared something bad was going to happen but your dream kind of blew it into proportion.
Don't sweat it, Things are fine now
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19f.
so last sunday i was at my two cousins birthday party. one is in 6grd and the other is in 8grd.. it was at a hotel. so i went out in the pool area to talk to my two cousins and ended up sitting down and then one of my cousins friends who is in 8th grade came and sat down w/us. i started talking to him, just being nice. well then i ended up leaving and everyone tells me how he thought i was so hot and how he wants to marry me .. hahaa young boys!! well now it's my other cousins birthday this saturday and we're going over to his house and my aunt texted me today asking if i was going and i said yeah are you guys? and she is like yeah we are! and i think we're going to bring mikey too! (the boy who has the biggest crush on me) i told my parents and they think its the funniest thing but i know i'm going to keep getting crap for it.
my question is .. how do i act around him? he texted me, because my little cousin gave him my number and was talking dirty to me .. 8th grade pervs! and so now i feel as though it will be awkward when i see him! i don't want to crush the poor kid and just ignore him but i also don't want to give him the wrong idea. suggestions? thanks!:) (link)
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You confront him about it, You are the adult and he is the child.
You need to be upfront and explain to him that it isn't going to happen, How it is offensive to you that he is speaking to you in an inappropriate manner. If you are not direct then he might get the wrong impression. If I were in your shoes I would keep acting like you are not interested, Reassuring him that you are an adult by showing no interest and talking in a mature manner. Ask him to stop texting you and if he doesn't you will put a block on his calls. Being direct and standing your ground should get the point across, You need to be direct. Ignoring him and acting nice is not how you let someone know that you are not interested. I would also have a talk with your cousin and let him/her know that you didn't appreciate how they gave out your number without your permission.
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I have mousy brown hair. it's really disgusting and i hate it, so i dye it black. one time about two years ago i got it done at a salon; i dyed it black with red streaks. well, the streaks faded to caramel and the black looked brown because of that. and everytime i tried to dye my hair black after that, it would fade within two weeks. now its just dark brown.
does anyone know anything i could do to make my hair hold the colour better? or a better dye? I used feria for a while and then i tried naturals something. but yeah. (link)
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I've been dying my hair for 8 years, (lol) I personally found that Herbal Essence works fantastic! You can buy it at Walmart for about 6-7 dollars a box. (believe it or not) I have very thick brown hair, I use two boxes and I get the results I want. From my experience my hair dye has lasted a good 3 months. If you have thick hair then I recommend you using 2 boxes. If you decide to go with any other dye, Buying hair replacement conditioner is recommended because it will replace any damaged hair after you dye it and won't give you that fried out look. ;)
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So i met my boyfriend ( ex now) at a party about 5 months ago and we didnt start dating immediately but we never had a "friends stage". We dated for about 3 1/2 or 4 months and then he broke up with me for no reason.He basically said he just wants to be friends with me because he got to sick of me being his girlfriend.I used to hangout with him every single day and our friends became friends and it just got to be routine to hangout.So we still do sometimes (not AS often)and its so weird to not be kissing him or holding his hand ,since we never had a "friends stage".I feel like when we look at eachother , we both feel the connection of how we used to feel and he always brings up our relationship so comfortably (and we make references to it often)and he still looks out for me like he used to.I want to talk to him about it but i don't know if im just imagining these things,or if they are just in my head(and i dont want to look stupid or annoy him and look desperate).We've been broken up for a little over 3 weeks... what should i do? (link)
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Hello,
I'm not sure of how long you two knew each other before you two decided to date but I'm assuming it wasn't long from what you've said above, A big thing in relationships is getting to know your partner, Finding out their interest, who they are etc. I think this was the first mistake. If he wants to be friends, Don't sweat it. Take it as an opportunity to get to know one another better. I don't really think it was a matter of him "getting sick" of you being his girlfriend (I'm assuming) but maybe it was the fact that their wasn't any chemistry in the friendship department. One thing that you said that concerns me is the fact that he said he was sick of you being his girlfriend...If this is indeed the case then not only is that kind of a rude way to dump someone but if he was sick of you then why would you want to be his friend? I guess it all really depends on whether it was really the fact that he wanted to get to know you better? or if he was truly bored of you. I would talk to him, Ask him these questions. Sometimes in order to get the truth out of people you have to study them.
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I like your views on People are dating and have different REligion View. well I grow up in a christain family and we belive in god and we do hoildays and go to church.
well I been dating this guy for 9 month. and he is sweet and funny and good to me. and we get along pretty good. but how ever his family Daugher Married a family who are kunck off of christ of christ and that they don't like Clebartie Hoildays and think crosses and Pegans. and well my bf can be strong minded. and it not that he don't like crosses andthink there bad it just he belive don't need them to remeber and stuff all you need is job. well i do care and love him but not sure if i married and have kids with him becouse it be alot harder. we seem to be good together but it get to religion it seem like a issue too his family. i mean thye like me. theiy belive i am gift from god. becouse well I am Hard of hearing n born with celf palated and small and such. i don't know. I realy need some tips and advice and like soem others thoughts think
amanda (link)
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Hello Amanda
I myself am also hard of hearing, I have also dealt with different religion relationships.
From my experience, I am non-religious and I was dating someone who was Jewish for five years. Depending on how heavily into religion your boyfriend is it might be or become one hell of a roller coaster. Remember, This is about you and your boyfriend. It is not about You, your boyfriend and his family. (Well it is, but not when it comes to the relationship if you know what I mean) When I was dating this Jewish guy he was very into his religion and over time he wanted me to convert into Judaism while I technically never really had any interest. If his family like you then I can a sure you that is a plus, Just keep being friendly and putting on a good impression I'm not saying this is the case but maybe his family will make an exception to your religious ways. The one thing that may become a problem for you in the future is the fact that they don't celebrate holidays. Ask yourself, Are you okay with that? Are you okay with the fact that your boyfriend may never join you in church? Never the less, I'm not sure of your age but what if your boyfriend were ever to say to you he doesn't want to marry in a church? Are you okay with that too? These are all things that could very well become a problem later down the line. If you can handle the fact that you two are completely different when it comes to that then you might be able to inch your way around it but I can almost promise you it will still be a struggle for the both of you to some degree.
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