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16/f
Hey guys! So just earlier, about an hour ago, I started feeling this sort of dull ache in the center of my chest. It's not enough that I show it but it is enough that it bothers me, on a scale from 1-10 it's maybe a 4 or 5. It gets worse if I lay on my back or breathe in deeply. I know I'm not going to get a real diagnosis here and I plan to see a doctor if it doesn't go away soon, but does anybody know what it could be?
Thanks (link)
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Hi there,
When you have chest pain, you go to the doctor. No exceptions.
Please don't delay, call and talk to the hospital. If you can't get anyone to take you immediately, they may suggest coming by ambulance.
This is one of those things you just do NOT mess around with. I speak from experience.
Waiting for chest pain to "go away soon" is a really bad idea. Sure, maybe it is nothing, and the doctor will be able to tell you that, and maybe it is something. If it is a big deal, then every minute you wait makes things worse for you.
Another user here, 15 years old, started birth control, developed blood clots from it, had chest pain... waited 3 days and had a heart attack.
Not saying this is you, not at all, but only a doctor can tell you what is going on.
Take this seriously, and deal with it now. Please.
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Thank you for your alternator advice. It looks like mine was a battery problem even though it was showing 12 volts when charged.
Would you have any advice on checking for battery drain by shorts in the system? Ammeter in series from the battery when everything is turned off? What ammeter range would you start with?
Thanks. Paul Tatarewicz (link)
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Howdy Paul,
The first answer depends on if you have help or not. If you have help, you can place the ammeter in line with the positive terminal, and have someone under the hood watch the meter.
After that, you can access the fuse panel, and remove each fuse, and ask if there is a change. Take note of any fuse circuits that are drawing current, and see if they should be. Your radio draws for storing settings, and some cars computers are always on. Your alarm system is another one which is always on.
If you find something that shouldn't be drawing power, then you know where to start looking.
Most cars now have inside and outside fuse panels. You can check the ones under the hood by yourself this way, and then use the next method I am going to describe to check the interior fuses if you don't have help.
If you have no help, then pull each fuse, one at a time, and place the probes in line with the contacts where you took the fuse out. Any draw on that circuit will be shown this way.
Be careful not to jam the probes in the contacts. You want the fuse to make firm contact again when you are done, so spreading the contacts is a bad idea. Just use enough pressure to make good contact, and you should be fine.
As to which setting to use: The highest one your meter offers. If the draw is enough to prematurely drain your battery, it should show just fine.
Let me know how you make out with all this.
DN.
P.S. Just for future reference, I had an internally shorted (mineral buildup) battery show 12 volts, and discharge over a short time. Went just about nuts trying to figure it out back then. You said it was a battery problem, so I am assuming you changed the battery. If you haven't, then that would be something to check if you don't find anything odd in your electrical system.
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last time i was writen a question about jelously.
but at this moment i m not satisfied.
pl.suggest (link)
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Posting a link to the question would be helpful.
Thanks.
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OK, so my husband went to counseling for sex addiction a year ago. I thought he had changed but now I know he is seriously disturbed. he has a fake profile page on here as a 35 year old bisexual female. He has answered 700 sexual questions to women and teen girls over the past 2 years. he also has a female profile on yahoo answers, same thing answers explicitly female teen and women ?s. He also has a male advice column on yahoo as himself and answers sex ?s as a man. He tells teen girls that lesbian feelings are ok and how to do sex acts and how to masturbate. This is seriously disturbing to me and I think he has multiple personalities. What do I do and what the hell is wrong with him??? (link)
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Hello there,
The first thing is to tell me the account name used on here (I am the site operator) so that I can suspend the account. If it is who I am thinking it might be, then I have already suspended half a dozen other accounts they created over the years.
Please let me know as soon as possible.
dangernerd@gmail.com
... you could also leave the info in feedback here, or post a question to me directly.
What you are describing sounds very serious to me. I am by no means a doctor, but I understand why this would make you nervous. Frankly, it would scare the hell out of me from a relationship standpoint.
If I were in your position, I would talk to a psychologist and see what they say about this. I don't know if he has multiple personalities, but if you suspect this, you should seek help immediately. Nobody is capable of dealing with a multiple without help. You would go insane trying.
It is possible that this is his sexual fantasy life: To be someone else.
If so, then it is something you two need to work out between you, and I suggest doing it with a counselor.
Please send me the username immediately, so I can get him off the site.
Thank you, and I wish you well in figuring all of this out.
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i have asked a question called where to get a Barry Manilow bobblehead and some member named Matt answered no to my question so can you please delete it (link)
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Done.
I also noticed that you have asked a great many questions here.
Please create a free account, so that you can begin leaving feedback for users who have answered your question.
Thank you.
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this guy i like is in 7th grade and im in 8th and he looks at me sweetly like 7 to 6 times during resses and i cant tell if he likes me or not i really want to know if he likes me or not. Can anyone help me?? I am 13 and a Female. (link)
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Hi there,
You asked this here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=608108
... and here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=608135
... and it has been answered multiple times.
If you are having trouble keeping track of your answers, please sign up for a free account here:
http://www.advicenators.com/register.php
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I have never posted on a site such as this, and actually, I have never even truly contemplated ending the struggle - the fight for for life - until recently. Your post struck me because of how much I care for my loved ones. I spent my entire life in one city, earned a MA in Psychology and was a successful in my career back home. After a 7 year relationship (I am 27 years old by the way), I ended it (LONG STORY), because he developed a fierce drug addiction and I needed to start over. I now live in a new state w a completely new career and I feel like I should be moving in the right direction. My problem is that I made such bad decisions with money (earned and spent $2M in 4 years - now in debt way over $100K) that it continues to haunt me and in combo w my depression and anxiety I just cant take it any more. I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. My family has NO money to help me any longer and being an escort in secret seems to be the only way to make enough money to get ahead. Im sad and overwhelmed and feel like I'd be much less of a burden if I just werent here any longer. I feel like the fight to get ahead in life is lost. I have been through much therapy and have always suffered from alcoholism. I now take meds for my anxiety and depression and have debated on overdosing to end the pain and struggle. I cant imagine what this would be like for my family but I just dont feel worthy of being here any longer. Any insight would be amazing. By the way, I could no be more sorry for your tragic loss and pls know my prayers are with you! (link)
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Hi there,
The user you wrote this to, doesn't allow inbox messages to their account from unregistered users, and so it defaults to the admin's box, which is mine.
May I suggest that you sign up here:
http://www.advicenators.com/register.php
... and post this to the user in question, as well as asking a question to the site as a whole?
I have two favors to ask you:
1) Please call: 1-800-273-8255 and talk with someone about how you are feeling. It is free, and everyone working there has been in a similar place to where you are now.
2) Realize that you aren't worthless, and that you aren't valued by the amount of money you have.
Do you think your family loves you more if you have more money? Do you think they love you less, if you have less?
No? Well, then why are you choosing to love or hate yourself based on money you have or don't have?
The $100k is a trivial amount if you think of it as long-term debt, as opposed to short term debt. You have proven that you have the ability to make that back in short order when you get back on your feet.
If that money is keeping you from getting back on track, then look at declaring bankruptcy. There is no law that states that once you are back on your feet you can't go back and pay your debts, even if they were written off.
I hope you will take a chance and stop valuing yourself by what you have in your bank account and start to value yourself as a person who is loved and cared for.
You should know that I am no stranger to tragedy, and if I told you the manner in which that tragedy manifested itself in my life, more than once, I don't know if you would feel better or worse, so I will keep it to myself unless you feel like hearing someone else's situations and the way they have overcome them.
If you want to talk, I can be reached on Skype for voice or text as dangernerd@gmail.com
Most importantly: You are worthy of being here. I understand it may not always feel that way, but it is true.
Have you ever considered stepping out of your situation and helping someone else? Do you live near a shelter, food pantry or other volunteer opportunity that will give you a chance to see things from a new perspective?
Feeding someone who hasn't eaten in days, and might not get to eat if you weren't there, will change your life.
Which is more important: Being a millionaire, or being able to keep someone from starving to death?
Maybe you will be a millionaire someday... but TODAY, even with all the problems you face, you are still in a position to do something good. Something that proves beyond a doubt that your life isn't wasted. Help someone else. Help yourself.
Your life is worth living.
Hope to hear from you.
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her older sister (who is 23) is going to prison for a year for forgery charges. I wonder once she goes if I should take her fifteen year old younger sister to visit her, but I am not sure I want my daughter to be inside a prison environment
it has nothing to do with her sister, she made some stupid mistakes but she is not a bad irredeemable person in my opinion nor was she a bad sibling other than this, but it is the environment I wonder about. I think not seeing her for a year might be better than going there.
(link)
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Hello there,
I remember this question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=608030
... and can't help but think you are the same person, just changing up relationships in the question.
The people that took the time to answer your earlier question should have been given feedback for their answers, which is bad enough... but now it appears you are just asking questions to amuse yourself.
If you have a plausible explanation for this, I will remove this answer and post the question, as asked. Otherwise, please don't just ask questions for your own amusement.
Thanks.
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how can i deal with the frustration of having a ridiculously hard time with finding a job. I have no help and my life is fading. "Friends" dont call me anymore, family gave up on me and im single so i dont really have sombody to talk to. Im lonely and broke and i feel like a failure. I know that eventually my life will come back, but its already been 2 years. im only 24 and i feel like a bum. I dont know wut to do, where to go or how to feel. I've been a emotional wreck. im a pretty girl, and i have so much talent and potential. i dont understand why im in this position for so long. its just no movement in my life whatsoever.. its driving me crazy, litterally... i just really need some encouraging words or somthing (link)
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Hi there,
It is amazing the way adversity shows you who your friends are, isn't it? This is something I have been through a few times now, and it never ceases to amaze me how very useless people who claimed to be friends are when things get out of hand in your life.
Just remember this... don't hold it against them, just remember in the future, when your life is back on track that while they may go to the movies with you or something, you can't count on them in a bind. This way, if you are ever in a pinch again, you will not feel as bad about their character, simply because you were expecting it. That helped me a lot.
Two years, eh? Amazing how hard it is to run in place like that for so long, isn't it?
I don't think anyone who hasn't been in that position can truly understand the unique kind of stress you are under, and I believe that THIS is the reason people don't respond when you try and talk with them about it. They just don't get what this feels like, they can't understand why you feel this way and their input ends up being non-existent or really unhelpful.
Here is what I can tell you from experience as far as getting on track:
1) Sometimes a change of scenery is a good thing. You could consider looking for jobs outside of your current area.
2) DO NOT change scenery without a plan. I have seen people move across the country for a job, and not even have the job for sure, no place to live and nobody to fall back on.
Most of all, you need someone to talk to about all of this. The inability to vent all these feelings is what is building that stress inside you. You will be amazed how much better you will feel if you can just unload once in a while. :-)
I suggest you find a counselor and set up an appointment. There are some with sliding scales, so the money won't be an issue, most likely.
Depending on what you are interested in doing for a living, and the opportunities that do, or do not, exist in your chosen field, I may be able to help you find work, or at least point you in the right direction.
Even if you just feel the need to talk to someone who knows what this is all like, from experience, then please reach out and contact me.
DangerNerd@gmail.com
I am also available for text or voice on Skype, using the same address.
At this point, I know it feels like forever... but it isn't, and things will improve as long as you don't give up hope, and you make the effort when you get the break.
It is easy to give up, and terribly tempting at times, but you have a future... and when you look back on where you are now, you will feel stupid about stressing so much about certain things. Trust me, I know. :-)
Hope to hear from you.
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I can't think of a placard. (link)
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We need more details if you would like an answer.
Please ask again, and include enough details so that we understand what this placard is all about.
Thank you.
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please tell me who is this women in the picture, help?
http://tinyurl.com/bp8qgc3
(link)
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Cameron Diaz is the actress in the picture.
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i think of her regularly.she calls me and says she wants to get back to me but still living with the other guy.dont trust her again.how do io handle it? (link)
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Walk away. You will never be able to trust her again, and without that trust, you only have a lifetime of misery if you get into a relationship with her.
People cheat for a reason. If she is still living with the other guy, then that makes it clear just how committed she is to you, doesn't it?
When she gets tired of living with you, she will go back to him, just like she is doing to him right now with you.
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So, this is my first time using this site but it seems like everyones answers are really good advice, and I'm stuck. My boyfriend of a little over a year, helped me out about 4 months ago when I didn't have a place to live-let me move in to his place. When my girlfriend found a place with 3 other chicks (that are quite the partiers) I put money down for the place and didn't tell my bf about it. He later found out on fb that we were all moving in together. He instantly tells me to move out, go have fun with my new dyke roommates and is very upset I lied to him. I knew how he felt about these girls...I was just nervous I wasn't going to have a place to live. I calmed him down, turned down the place with my friend n currently am still living with him as I am finding a new home.So now a month has gone by and the situation keeps getting brought up. Plus he constantly thinks I am disrespecting him as I don't have much to bring to the table i.e. home, car rides (i dont have a car) and Im doing what i can to have groceries always stocked and bringing food home after work. He still wants some sort of making up for the lying. It was almost the end of our relationship and he can't wrap his head around any of it anymore. Last night, he kicked me out...to the point where i had all my stuff out and he said if i left that would be the end of us..but then I begged for one last chance to show my love and respect for him. Now I'm stuck, this conversation has been brought up countless times and he still fails to see any change in me. How can I change? What can I do differently to actually show that I am so grateful for the things he does for me and given me? cause obviously i've failed so far... HELP! (link)
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Hi there,
(EDIT: I am adding this after reading back through my answer: Before you even start, I would like to ask you to please be patient and read the whole answer. There are parts where you may feel like I am down on you, but I am not. I am trying to put as many possibilities out there as I can, before I get to the point where I tell you what it really feels like to me.
Thank you, and I promise this will be worth it.)
I have read your question a few times now, and each time I feel like there is a lot missing. Do you think it is possible that some of the issues you two are having could be related to poor communication and a lack of mutual understanding of what is really going on?
I will give you an idea of the questions that what you wrote here brought up in my mind:
Why doesn't he like these girls? You said he referred to them as lesbians, which is odd and shouldn't be part of the discussion unless these are people you have had sex with.
Why didn't you tell him about this? You knew he didn't like the girls, and you knew he would react badly... so, how did you expect him to react when one day, out of the blue, you say something like: "Hey, I gave money to these people you don't like, and I am going to go live with them now, see you later."
How did you imagine that working out? Do you think it would have been better if you kept lying for a longer period of time before he found out?
Can you see where that makes it feel like there is something else hidden, or left out here?
Next question that popped into my head: Why were you afraid you weren't going to have a place to live?
You were afraid that you wouldn't have a place to live... so you lied to the person you live with, pretty much making certain that you would lose your place to live where you are now.
Before this, why were you afraid you wouldn't have a place? Were you two not getting along before this?
As for the constantly disrespecting him thing... I don't get it. Does he say: "You are disrespecting me because I have to drive you places." or what?
I can't imagine someone actually saying anything like that, but if he is, then you need to get out of this relationship now.
Another question: You said he kicked you out... but then said if you left it would be over?
Can you see how that doesn't sound right?
If you left something out, that is one thing, but if he put your stuff outside, then told you if you left, it would be bad... that is a serious control issue, and you may be in over your head.
When someone brings something up, over and over again, there are usually only a couple reasons, in my experience:
1) They want to beat you up over it some more.
2) You think the situation is resolved, and don't want to deal with it, but they have unanswered questions, so it isn't old news for them yet.
As a guy, I can tell you this: Guys can get past almost anything, as long as it is fully explained.
A guy will keep after you about something until they get whatever question remains answered, and then it will be over, one way or another.
Example: Girl cheats on a guy, and then says she doesn't know why she did it.
She then expects the guy to just let it go, because she said sorry. Well, only an idiot would do that. Why? Simple: If you do something and have NO reason for it, then the other person in the relationship has to live in constant fear that you will do something else for "no reason." That gets old, really fast.
Women aren't stupid. We know you do things for reasons, just like we do. When a woman says she did something for no reason, we give her credit for having a brain, and conclude that she is lying because she doesn't want to tell us the real reason... And that has proven to be true 100% of the time in my life.
Now, why did I go through all that? Well, if he asked you why you lied to him, and you said: "I don't know." this is going to keep going on until you tell the truth. Not saying you did this, just letting you know one reason it may be coming up again.
I guess that ends the part where there is any excuse or reason for his attitude. Now for what it reminds me of:
Have you ever heard of BPD? It stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, and while I am in no way a doctor, and not at all diagnosing this guy with anything... I do have to tell you that I have been around a couple different BPD people, and what you are describing sounds very familiar.
I would like you to take a moment and read a page which describes what it is like to be in a relationship with someone who behaves in a BPD manner:
http://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/bpd-relationships/
... is it just me, or does that sound familiar?
Healthy people do NOT demand offerings and worship.
I would really appreciate if you would write me back and let me know what, exactly, he says when he is doing whatever it is that made you write: "...he constantly thinks I am disrespecting him as I don't have much to bring to the table..."
I would also like to know what you think about the BPD page I sent you a link to, if you don't mind.
You can contact me directly by clicking the link that says: "Ask DangerNerd a question."
You ask what you can do to show your love and respect... You ask how you can change... well, in your next relationship: Don't keep secrets, lie and destroy your partner's trust in you.
That is about the only change I can suggest from what information you have given us here.
As far as showing your love and appreciation: You just do. You do what normal people do: Say thank you, sincerely, and don't do things that you know would be deliberately taking advantage of the situation.
I am taking a wild guess and thinking that you have already done this, and it isn't good enough for him, right?
Look out.
You really need to think about that BPD business.
With the exception of not hiding things and lying, I don't think it is you who needs to do the changing... it sounds like it is him.
Thinking that there is something you can do to help him, or fix him... or heck, even make him happy? If he has mental problems, then the only thing you can do is point him to that place I pointed you, and suggest that he get professional help.
Please do NOT try and help him beyond that point. Many people who have dealt with mental illness in a relationship, including myself, can vouch for the fact that they will reject all attempts to get them help, because they believe that YOU are the one with the problems, not them.
He will get help, ONLY when he decides that it is time, and he can't live like this anymore.
I want to ask you something: Do you feel like you are losing your mind sometimes when you are dealing with him?
Well, my friend, you are not alone. If you spend enough time trying to exist in an unhealthy relationship, you end up becoming unhealthy yourself, just because you are trying to find a way to cope.
You must get out if this relationship if you think the BPD thing fits. MUST.
Here is a little tip that may save your life: Move out BEFORE you mention that you think he needs mental help. Trust me on this one.
You know in your heart that you need to get out of that house. You already see that you two living together isn't working.
Dating, as you know, is basically trying people out to see if they are a good fit for marriage. Here is the big question: Can you see being happy with this situation happening every single day for the next 50 years?
Do you want any children you two make to have to grow up around that kind of mental abuse?
Get out.
I hope to hear back from you, and I wish you the best.
DN.
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I gave my boyfriend head he has herpes virus 1 he said its not contagious that I can't get them and after I gave him head instantly I got bumbps in the inside of my mouth on my cheeks I was worried but I just thought maybe I sucked to hard so the next day it started to hurt. So I thought okay this is weird? And the third day I woke up n checked my mouth n noticed there was a line of redness inside my mouth towards my throat.? Now I'm extremly worried. D you know what is going on in my mouth? (link)
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Well, the first thing to do is find out about filing charges against your boyfriend for knowingly risking your health.
Herpes is VERY contagious, and he knows it.
You need to go get tested right away.
No matter what else you do, no more sex with this guy. He just used you. Straight up used you. No excuse at all.
If you weren't infected (herpes is for life, by the way) then count yourself lucky and dump this selfish guy.
Also, condoms do NOT stop the spread of herpes... so don't let him lie to you about that either.
Get tested, dump him and save yourself for someone who cares about more than just himself.
I hope it all works out for you.
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I am n 14 year old boy I hang out whit girls at break time at skwl.boys think I'm gay but I'm not.so that is y I have no guy frends a break time wat must I do τơ get guy frends at break (but I don't ωαŋτ τơ plau soccer αŋƌ rugby at break )I'm from SA (link)
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Use English characters only, and re-ask this please.
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Hi guys, Let me know that "When we can say it is a Good web design? (link)
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Please re-phrase your question.
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So what you said make total sense. He texted apologizing and I was just wondering should I even bother? (link)
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Hi there,
The person you meant to send this to doesn't allow people to send them inbox messages. I don't know why they chose to disable that, but they aren't going to be able to answer you.
Please consider writing a new question and posting it publicly.
Thank you.
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I cnt tell dat I am perfectly in relationship now or not....! But I hve a sweet relation....yet.....I was in commited relationship till 3 yrs den v had a breakup for 2 months den again V had patch up bt after that I got to know that he is in relationship with other girl form he's friend so I clearified evrthng he said he' leave her and I was like ok...I trust him....after that he started me ingoring I asked him why? He said that he luvs me alotttt bt coz of his parents he cnt marry he I said ok den he told me dat v cn marry but if he gets settle well in future and if his mom dad agree....bt nw stilll v meet v act as if v r bf-gf but vr not in relationship....he get jealous whn I talk 2 other boys evn I get jealous. Bt I am confused I am waiting for him but he ignores me alottttt....bt he loves me. Shd I carry on I am not getting over him wht 2 do I realyyy love him alotttt and He's the only guy I think 24/7. Now frnds plzzzzz zgiv me sme advice.......and thnxxxx in advance. (link)
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Please re-ask this without the chat-speak.
Thanks.
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My baby daddy knows I'm pregnant,we both 17 and both our families want me to go for an abortion,I'm so confused...should I or should I not?I really need the support,I'm a mess and I feel the baby is the only thing keeping me sane,what should I go with,both our families decision or what I want?
(link)
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Hi there,
I am sorry you find yourself in this situation, and I just can't imagine how stressful it is when this is going on. :-(
The one thing I would like you to understand is that YOU are going to be the one who has to live with this decision. It is unfair of anyone to try and force you into an abortion, when you are the one who would have to carry the guilt, shame and self hatred of having an abortion.
They won't feel any of those things, and as such, while I understand they are your parents, they don't have the right to force you into this.
They don't understand that for most women abortion isn't something they do and then it is all over. It isn't. Over the years here on this site, we have seen many people asking about ways to deal with the terrible feelings they have about it even many years after having an abortion.
Please read my answer to this question for many details about this:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=597050
If your parents knew the after effects and mental risks or being forced to have an abortion against your will... they wouldn't be doing this. They don't know what it would be like for you.
They think they are doing what is best for you, but they don't have to live with the consequences.
As for your baby daddy... his parents have NOTHING to say about this. Nothing.
I know it can be hard to stand your ground when people you love are telling you to do something, but both of us know that you already know what is right for you, and you feel it in your heart.
Whatever you decide, you have to live with it, so you have to make the choice.
If your parents won't listen (you are old enough, by the way, they can't legally force you to get an abortion as it is against the law) have them ask me a question about this and I will send them links to dozens of questions from girls your age who had abortions, and then tried to kill themselves or were thinking about it.
Your parents love you, they are just scared, like you, and in a panic to do what they think is best.
If they knew the results of what they were trying to do, they wouldn't be doing it.
The decision is yours.
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thanks for answer, but its my first experience to take a shower with my fiance! so can you please tell me what to do or should i do :(!
thanks (link)
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If you want to reply to a specific user, you should sign up for a free account here:
http://www.advicenators.com/register.php
Thanks.
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