about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

Sorry I'm not sure if this is under the right category.. But along with my question. I lost a book of mine about 4 months ago and I still can't find it. Believe me, I tried eHow, google, and I also read the whole thing about "Finding Lost Objects by Professor Soloman" or something along the lines of that. My book is Hardcover and is about 400 pages? I checked behind my (kinda) shelf, box, everywhere. I made sure it wasn't confused with paper backs. I still can't find it. For those who lost a book, where did you find it? Or maybe can you give me some tips on where it may be? (Its not in the car because I don't read in the car, and its not in my bag either).
Thanks a whollleeeee bunch !

Did you look under your bed?

[view]

the 411 on my bf and i. we have been together for a year on and off because he was out of state. he is living in the same state as me now. his parents anniversary is coming...but i dont know what to write in their anniversary card...any ideas?

Congratulations!
Happy Anniversary!

[your name here]

[view]

where can i take my old pc...one doesnt work at all. (virus) the other is a '93 (i think but works). also i have keyboards and i want to get rid of them all. even if i dont get any money for them.

You could take them to someplace like Goodwill or the Salvation Army. They may be able to donate them to someone who needs it.

[view]

I go tanning regularly, especially during the summer. The thing is, I want another tattoo (I have 2 existing ones from years ago). I don't know what I should do since you're not supposed to tan after getting a tattoo, but at this point, I have the extra money and have been itching to get this tattoo forever. Is there any way I can get it and still tan or will it mess up the tattoo? I've paid for tanning for the summer so I don't want to stop and waste money. Any kind of tips to cover up the tattoo or lotion I could use so I can still tan would be great! (21/F)

Well, you shouldn't just tan like always after a tattoo, period. UV and sun exposure causes the ink to discolor. Like white is the worst, because tanning causes it to get a yellow tint to it that will never go away.

Just avoid tanning during the healing process. Be sure to ask ALL of the questions like this to the artist before they put ink to your skin. That way you know for certain when it is safe for you to start tanning regularly again.

As for lotions to protect your tats from the sun's harmful rays? I use the sunblock I put on my babies-
Waterbabies, which is spf 50. I cover my tats, they don't fade.
You should protect your tats with sunblock at all times, not just during the healing. You don't want them to look washed out in a few years.

31/f

[view]

I want to have a baby early. My boyfriend and I are going to start trying to get pregnant as soon as we graduate highschool. I know babies are expensive, but I don't know exactly how expensive. And I know they are hard to deal with, but I don't really know how hard.

Anyone who is a young mother, or was a young mother, can you give me any advice? And please don't tell me to not have one or to wait. Because I know I'll be a good mother. I just need some answers for my questions.

Thanks in advance!

Well, I tell you, I read where someone asked how you know you'd be a good mother if you've never been one.

That's just silly.

I'm a mother of two, and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time. I just wing it and do the best I can. I'm learning to be a mother just as they are learning to be their own people.
These are things that we never stop learning, because no one will ever be an expert on being people, nor being parents.
(Believe me when I say you'll come across Parental Experts who CLAIM to know it all, but their ego makes them look like the idiots they really are.)

I'm not young. I'm 31. My boys are 13 months apart, aged 1 and 2.

How hard is it?
Madness.
Insanity.

One minute you can't get enough of them, the next minute you're hollering for your husband to come deal with his children before you go postal.

One minute you love being called Momma, the next you say you wish you could be called Daddy so they'd leave you the hell alone for a while.

One minute you think of what precious, sweet, little angels they are. The next you are grumbling through gritted teeth because they got into their diapers and finger painted on the walls, the curtains, the furniture, themselves, etc., with poop.

The list goes on and on and on.

How much do they cost?

Put a couple of $100 bills in your hands and tear them to shreds. Do this once every week or so.
If you feed them formula, better make that 3.


Hard an expensive as it all is, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Crazy as they make me at times, I love being their Mangy Momma.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
My sons prove that I, too, can accomplish great wonders.

I do wish that you'd consider furthering your education before planning a family, but I can't say much considering my schooling ended with a high school diploma, and we make it. We don't have much in this world, but we have what we need and a few frivolous things.

As for everyone else, they are just trying to look out for your best interests. Don't be so pissed at them. Their hearts are in the right place.


31/f

[view]

well the last time i had sex was about two months ago and im pretty sure the guy used a condom. But now i have two bumps down there one on the top part of my vagina and the other towards the bottom. these bumps arent big they dont itch or hurt and they're small. they look clear or a fleshy color,also i tryed to pop one and it bled. is this a disease? does anyone know what this is? please help.

No one here is going to be able to tell you what it is. That's something that a medical professional needs to look at and diagnose.

Go to the doctor.
Better to be safe than sorry.



31/f

[view]

What can I do?! We have been together for 6 years now, and I still have a really hard time understanding his sexual behavior. First of all, we are in our early 20s, and we usually end up having sex about twice a month. We are in our peak years, and we have sex twice a month! That wouldn't be so weird to me, if I didn't know he had such a huge sexual appetite. By that, I mean, he watches porn ALL THE TIME. He "sneaks" it, but I know he does it (which is no big deal). He has CDs and CDs full of it. Another thing, he is addicted to women, I guess. Strippers - he's ALWAYS going to the strip club. When we're hanging out with our friends, he sometimes sounds like a dirty sex pig with some of his little remarks and comments. This is what's driving me crazy - Why isn't he like that with the one girl he SHOULD be like that with? I am a girl that takes care of her body and I try REALLY hard to stay fit and eat right. I try to look like the women he's told me he found attractive and still be my own woman. I want him to be satisfied with me, of course. Sometimes I feel like his friends are more interested in me than my own man, and honestly, that feels really crappy.

The other night, we were laying in bed, and he thought I was sleeping, because he kept changing the channel to this softcore porn (well, it's the best he could get on the TV!) and trying to be all sneaky about it. I really don't care if he watches porn (and I've made this clear to him before), so I don't know why he felt he had to sneak, but anyway, he kept checking back to that channel. I rolled over and he quickly turned it back. This made me really upset. He has a girl right beside him wearing practically nothing, that would put out in a second (it's true!) and he'd rather sneak watching porn? Softcore to boot?!?! It starts making me feel like there is something wrong with me, and makes me feel like I'm unattractive. I almost feel like I need to go out to the bar just to get reassurance that I'm desirable (no, I know that isn't the right thing to do, and I'm not doing that). I can't figure it out. I haven't put on any weight, I've kept tone and fit, I have nice womanly curve (decent sized boobs, nice hips and butt, slim waist), I style my hair the way he likes, sometimes walk around in barely nothing, and I'm still unappealing?

I am an open-minded girl that loves sex, and my fiancé acts like sex with me is so unimportant. It doesn't feel very good. He knows I'm open to weird kinky things too so it can't be that I refuse "good" sex. I don't know how to go about fixing this. When I've spoken to him about it, he says that I'm just complaining, or "We don't HAVE to have sex all the time!" Well, trust me, we are FAR from all the time. I asked him if there was something I wasn't doing or some way to improve my looks/attractiveness but he says everything is fine between us and I'm just being a cunt at this point. I don't know what his issue is, but it's frustrating the hell out of me. I think he'd rather just jerk off to some crappy porno than have crazy, kinky sex with the love of his life. If that's what he wants then I NEED to KNOW so I can figure some way to cope with this. Does that make ANY sense?

How do I bring this issue up with him without starting a fight? Like I said, it's completely fine if he wants to watch porn or go to a strip club every once in awhile but I feel so unwanted at this point. He knows I'm always horny and ready to go at it but he'd rather not have sex with me. I'm confused and unhappy. I just want things to be normal. What do I do? What am I doing wrong? Please, please help me.

Honestly, you two would be wise to seek marriage counseling. Obviously you plan to marry, and is this the life you want to become your marriage?
Sounds as though your relationship is very unhealthy right now, and counseling may help.

All I know is I certainly wouldn't vow my life to a man who made me feel that way. To be honest, that would be stupid.
Only thing to do is to learn to compromise with one another, or move on with your life with someone who'd rather spend time with you than strippers and TV.

By the way, compromise is something he has to actively do as well as you. You can't make this work all by your lonesome.

31/f

[view]

So when you go visit a gyno and get checked out, and he finds something out, for example, you having a disease or something ? Do they tell your parents ? Or do they keep it a secret ?

Thanks in Advance !

They have to keep it between you and them, unless you say otherwise.

They have to abide by doctor/patient confidentiality, which means the things you are seen for, your illnesses, your treatments, your prescribed meds, etc., are all kept confidential.



31/f

[view]

14/f & 14/m (he'll be 15 in aug.)

so im going to try to keep this short and sweet.
my boyfriend and i try to see each other weekly but when we cant we txt. But lately he hasn't been txtin very much, towards me only. When this first happened i was so scared we were going to break up again, thenn i saw him later on that day and he showed absolutley no signs of breaking up, only more to love. He was very sweet wen we were togeether, so i thought he would keep txtin: still nothing. So...why doesn't he want to txt with me anymore?

I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that you are asking the wrong people.

He is your boyfriend, and as a couple, you should be open and honest with one another. Communication is VERY important in any healthy relationship.

SO.

You need to ask him.

Don't send him a text message and ask.
Don't ask over the phone.
Ask him face to face the very next time you see him.


31/f

[view]

well i used to have lots of highlights in my hair that made it pretty blonde. and then i dyed it dark brown over it. the problem is, when i dyed it dark my roots were already grown out a bit.
after the dark faded, i almost when back to the same color but my roots are still brownish, and now my natural hair color is comin in and thats like a dirty ash blonde.

i wanna bleach my hair pretty damn blonde, but i dont want highlights. i want it all one color for the most part.

therefore, i have two questions

1. will it come out different colors if i bleach it due to the different colors in my hair now ?

2. whats the best hair colorin kit to bleach my hair with the least damage ?
(yes i know itll damage it anyway, im just talkin about the least damage)

thanks !

The trouble is that you are going to have to strip the color from your hair. Why? Brown has red in it. Red is the hardest thing to get out of your hair. If you try to just bleach it, you may end up with orange, or yellow hair at best.

STRONG WORD OF ADVICE:
Go to a salon and have your hair bleached to the desired color. Bleaching doesn't just damage your hair, but thrashes it!
I speak from experience- I promise that you'd much rather spend your money on a professional dye job this time. Once they get it to the color you're wanting, touching up the roots at home is a piece of cake.



31/f

[view]

16/F/Christian
What does the bible say about homosexuality and being sent to H*ll? It just doesn't seem fair that all gays and lesbians can't go to Heaven, especially because God loves EVERYONE. Some people are just born that way and can't help it.
And what about people that are in such an isolated community, that they've never been exposed to God's word or people that don't know Christianity exists? What about them?
And in the old testament, doesn't it say crazy things like, it's okay to rape a woman as long as you marry her afterwards? And if someone hits you, you can chop off their hand, or something like that. That's just...crazy!
Why would God tell someone to put that in the Bible?
What are your thoughts on this? Can someone please clear up the rumors I've heard? Thankyou! Maybe you can recommend some scriptures, too? Thanks, again!

That is old testament. See, God changed his mind about a lot of the things he told a bunch of guys to write down then, and told new guys what to write down in the new testament.

Basically, you need to look at it like this:
ANYONE can pick and choose scripture from the bible and twist it to sound like they want it to sound.

What is most important of all is what YOU think of it. You think God is a loving sort? So do I, as I was raised to believe that.
If other people want to hate in the name of God, and worse yet, speak in the place of God in order to pass judgment in the name of God, then that's on them to answer for that in their end.

I especially like to remember that whole part about passing judgment. People tend to forget that it is God's, and ONLY God's place to pass judgment on man.

Follow your beliefs, mind, gut, and heart. You can't go wrong that way.

31/f

[view]

Being bored and curious one Saturday afternoon, I ventured into a random online forum, signed up, and started chatting. Weeks after that, I met a guy. Great. So we kept talking, liking each other more and more, and having a lot in common. Then we started "dating". But has become so much more than an internet relationship, for both of us. We share everything with each other. I'm in love with him.. in love with him for exactly who he is and by some miracle, he loves me the same way.

Now here's the problem. He thinks I'm 19 years old, like him, because that's what I claimed when we first met. I didn't think it would matter because no way could it turn into anything serious. I'm actually 15 years old. We've never done anything sexual, obviously, or even seen each other. I do plan to be with him for a very long time and meet him the day I turn 18. But how am I going to explain, when I do meet him, that I'm actually 4 years younger than I claimed to be? That I lied to him for years?

Or a more important question would be.. am I just caught up in false feelings? Can I really love him if I've never met or seen him, and could he really love me and accept my confession? I feel as though I do because I believe that you love someone for who they are and how well you get along, not because of a physical attraction.

As you can see.. this is a very messed up situation, but backing out is not an option for me right now, nor will it ever be. Help!

Why would you lie to him for years about your age? Do you realize how much such a long lived lie would piss a person off?

You need to be upfront and honest NOW, as you should have been from the beginning. If you explain the truth to him now, your chances of this working out are far better than lying to the poor guy for FOUR YEARS.

Yes. It is messed up. Hopefully you learned something out of the deal, such as it's never a good idea to pretend to be someone you aren't.


31/f

[view]

14f

A little while ago, my first boyfriend who I was completely crazy about dumpped me for another. We decided to stay friends so we see a lot of each other. He hurt me terribly but even so, I still have feelings for him and he knows it. He's also made it perfectly clear that he liked the other girl better and dropped me like it was nothing. He openly hits on her while I'm around him. Well, so the other day my ex needed my phone and found a love confession from this really sweet guy. Automatically, he gets pissed and says "If i had known he was talking to you when we were going out...he would be dead". Then he says "That bastard. Tell him to fuck off." Then later a couple of days later he asks what I'm doing and who I'm texting. When I tell him I'm texting a guy from school he says "Don't talk to him, he's trying to do stuff." I said he was being really nice and that we were just doing small talk and asked him why he even cared. "I'll fucking kill him" is all he responded with. I don't understand it. Why, when after he dumpped me and obviously has no interest in me, does he continue to be so overprotective. He's a really sweet guy and all but whenever it comes to me being myself with other guys (friends) he snaps. He left me like it was nothing. I have a right to act single. He certainly does, hitting on other girls days after breaking up. Why is he acting like this? He doesn't care for me anymore and probably never did. Even so, he gets upset. Please, I need some advice on what's going on and how to address this problem...because... even though we're broken up,I still feel like I'm his even though he refuses to be mine.

Ok. The word you are looking for is NOT overprotective. It is CONTROLLING.

He is obviously wanting to control you, what you do, who you talk to, and who you date.
That is not a way to show caring, compassion, love or any of that warm and fuzzy stuff. So he isn't acting that way out of the sort of jealousy one would find flattering, but rather the sort that one finds insulting.

Of course you have the right to act single.
You ARE single.
Who you talk to, who you hang out with, etc., is none of his damned business. It stopped being so when he ditched you for some other chick.

Best bet? Get away from him, stay away from him. This behavior is NOT healthy for you to be subject to.

I know you say you still have feelings for him, but the hard fact is if you want to move on with your life, you're going to have to suck it up, stay clear the hell away from him and get over him.

You've made it very obvious that being friends with this asshole is not an option.


31/f

[view]

I have a very small dorsal bump on my nose that I am thinking I want filed down...does anyone have a ballpark estimate of how much it might typically cost to reduce the bump in size?

Below is a link.
On the right, you will see a picture of a doctor and it says "Average Surgeon Fees by Procedure"
Click that link, and it will download an estimate list through Adobe.

Price will be probably between $3000 and $4000, but it will vary depending on your individual situation.

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Patients_and_Consumers/Planning_Your_Surgery/Procedure_Costs.html

I very HIGHLY recommend that you watch this 3D animated video on how nose reshaping surgery is done. It may seem gross at times, but for something like this, you want to be sure you know exactly what's going to go on, so that you know for certain that you are willing to go through with this.

I recommend viewing both closed and open reshaping:
http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Patients_and_Consumers/Procedures/Procedure_Animations/Nose_Reshaping.html

31/f

[view]

can a girl feel it when a guy cums inside of her?

No.

[view]

I have had my period for a little over three years now and I am getting worried.

It's been really heavy lately, like bleed through a tampon, pad, and my jeans! It's embarrassing that I have to keep a change of CLOTHES with me too when I have my period! It was not like this before and it seems to only be getting worse.

I also get really bad cramps, like where I "black out" for a minute or two and wake up on the floor. I get a fever, not terribly high, but it's still considered "a fever."
I can't talk to my mom about this stuff, she's one of those people who think feminine "stuff" is shameful and should be kept private. I am not sure what to do though because it's becoming a problem.

Any help is appreciated. :\

You need to see a doctor.
Set the appointment yourself and go.
The responsible party should be billed, meaning if you are a minor, they should bill your parents or their insurance. It is your PARENTS responsibility to make sure that you are in good health, whether the subject is taboo with them, or not.
In fact, ask about the billing when you set the appointment.



Fevers are one of your body's ways of telling you something isn't right.
Bleeding like that is outrageous.
I agree that you shouldn't ever need to change your clothes so many times.
Blacking out? That is not good, nor normal.

I'm SHOCKED that anyone would blow this off as being an ok or normal situation, rather than telling you that you need to seek medical attention for this.

31/f

[view]

i have a friend when i tell her something she remembers it for long time but when i tell my other friends they just forget but my friend remembers exactly all the details i told her long time ago she has a bad memory like other people but tend to remember things a lot when tell her things why is that?

Sounds like you have a good friend who, not only listens to what you say, but HEARS what you say.

Even if a person doesn't have a great memory, if they see, hear, etc. something that captures their interest or something they care about, they are more likely to recall all of the details of it.

So I'm guessing she must really enjoy listening to the things you have to say to her.


ygs-31/f

[view]

When they are saying "enabling him" are they saying giving him a way to be operational through the drugs? Because the defination of enabling is to make operational or to make active and things along those lines...but they are saying it in a more negative context so it seems to me that they are saying maknig opperational or active, dependant of the drugs. Is this about right? or is there another definition I am unaware of? Thank you

Well, it depends on the context used.
I'm going to take a wild guess and assume the context is probably using the first definition.

en·a·ble (-nbl)
tr.v. en·a·bled, en·a·bling, en·a·bles
1.
a. To supply with the means, knowledge, or opportunity; make able:
a hole in the fence that enabled us to watch; techniques that enable surgeons to open and repair the heart.

b. To make feasible or possible:
funds that will enable construction of new schools.

2. To give legal power, capacity, or sanction to:
a law enabling the new federal agency.

3. To make operational; activate:
enabled the computer's modem; enable a nuclear warhead.


ygs-31/f

[view]

there is a certain song i want for a video i'm making.

i already burned the song to a disc.

i cant figure out how to get it on the video.

can anyone give me step by step instructions??

Well, you have to get the song into your My Music folder under My Documents.

If you've already burned the song to disc, then the song file must be on your computer somewhere, right?

Go to the song file, right click and copy to My Music under My Documents.

Open Windows Movie Maker.
Along the top, where it says Tasks and Collections, click Tasks.

In the number 1 menu, (top left menu list), click Import Audio or Music.

Search your My Music folder for your song, click it, then click Import.
The song of your choice should now be in your collections. Just drag and drop to the Audio/Music line on your story board.

ygs-31/f

[view]

i am going to do open mic night at this coffee house ( i play the piano) and i need two or three songs that i can just play solo, i want very light songs, not ridiculously intricate, stuff that i can play by myself that people will recognize or at least enjoy.

This is a really good one, in my opinion:

"Billy Joel - Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc




ygs-31/f

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker