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Lovers years apart..
Being bored and curious one Saturday afternoon, I ventured into a random online forum, signed up, and started chatting. Weeks after that, I met a guy. Great. So we kept talking, liking each other more and more, and having a lot in common. Then we started "dating". But has become so much more than an internet relationship, for both of us. We share everything with each other. I'm in love with him.. in love with him for exactly who he is and by some miracle, he loves me the same way.
Now here's the problem. He thinks I'm 19 years old, like him, because that's what I claimed when we first met. I didn't think it would matter because no way could it turn into anything serious. I'm actually 15 years old. We've never done anything sexual, obviously, or even seen each other. I do plan to be with him for a very long time and meet him the day I turn 18. But how am I going to explain, when I do meet him, that I'm actually 4 years younger than I claimed to be? That I lied to him for years?
Or a more important question would be.. am I just caught up in false feelings? Can I really love him if I've never met or seen him, and could he really love me and accept my confession? I feel as though I do because I believe that you love someone for who they are and how well you get along, not because of a physical attraction.
As you can see.. this is a very messed up situation, but backing out is not an option for me right now, nor will it ever be. Help!
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You need to confess now. It's better to tell him what's up now, then tell him later. He's likely to be more mad later on, then he is if you told him today.
If you really like this guy, he deserves the truth from you. Explain why you lied. I know other people think it isn't possible to find love online, but I met my boyfriend through his job (which is a tv show) & now we live together. I'm not saying this will happen for you, nor will you be this lucky to meet someone through technology & have it be safe & legit, but if you like him, go with it, but be careful.
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I know someone who was in your exact situation. She was 15, he was 19. They texted, talked on AIM, and whatever else. She felt guilty after a while because she was lying, but she really loved him a lot. She ended up telling him 6 months in to their online relationship..and he was fine with it. However, some guys look at it differently. But, I've never met a guy who looked at it as a problem..as long as their's no sex until the age of 18, which is obviously not involved at this moment as you said. You really do need to tell him if you ever do plan on meeting him. Don't wait until you meet, that will make it way worse. If he loves you, he'll accept it. Just tell him you need to talk to him. Tell him you're actually 15, and that you're really sorry for lying to him and that you love him very much and just explain what was going through your mind when you lied. I'm sure if he's in love with you, he'll be okay. I think you can love someone you've never seen or met. It is possible he could really love you too. I know someone who met someone online and is still with them today after 2 years! Some people can fall in love online. If he accepts your confession, still loves you, and still wants to be with you..then that just shows he really does like you a lot.
Let me know what happens!
Good luck!
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I agree with Laura below. In fact, I'm the friend she was talking about. XD
Anyway, you have to tell him about the age thing. It's important. And it shouldn't matter to him if you're friends and you might like each other a lot.
It is entirely possible to get a best friend online, but as for a relationship, that is something I've got no experience with. Maybe you do, but you probably won't know for sure until you see him in person and spend time with him.
Backing out would be stupid. Obviously this person has become someone important to you, and I completely empathize with that.
--Jack
(17/m)
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You need to come clean with him. You can't keep lying about your age, because it will only cause more and more trouble as time goes on. If he's really into you like you say he is, then age shouldn't matter.
As far as false feelings, I know from personal experience that you CAN make friends with somebody you meet on the Internet. I met one of my very best friends on the Internet, and we tell each other everything. However, we're not "in love", so my knowledge is limited.
If you want my opinion, then honestly, I don't think you can fall in love with somebody you've never actually met before. Part of being in love is being physically attracted to somebody (even though it's a small portion) and knowing that you are comfortable and happy in their presence (this is a much bigger portion). I think it can one day lead to something great, but I don't think that talking strictly via the Internet is enough to fall in love with somebody.
-Laura (17-f)
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Why would you lie to him for years about your age? Do you realize how much such a long lived lie would piss a person off?
You need to be upfront and honest NOW, as you should have been from the beginning. If you explain the truth to him now, your chances of this working out are far better than lying to the poor guy for FOUR YEARS.
Yes. It is messed up. Hopefully you learned something out of the deal, such as it's never a good idea to pretend to be someone you aren't.
31/f
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